The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
The Case of the Thieving Roommate
DVG
No. 1 Honor StudentNether Institute, Evil AcademyRegistered User regular
No. 1 Honor StudentNether Institute, Evil AcademyRegistered User regular
The short of it is: My Roommate stole a check out of my checkbook and wrote herself an account-busting check last week. When confronted by the police officer taking the report, she confirmed it was her signature and her account the check was deposited to (in addition to it being her handwriting the check was in, which was not at all consistent with my own).
We are both on a lease here until April. I obviously don't want to stay in the same place as her for four more months. The short term solution was to install a keyed lock on my bedroom door and move everything I own into there. My plan is to arrange a conversation with her, each of us with a witness of choice to keep things honest, and ask her to split the cost of breaking the lease ($2,000) and go our separate ways (in exchange for me not pressing charges personally, to say nothing of what the bank may do).
So at this point, I could use any information anyone might have about dealing with a similar situation and what I might need to do to resolve this as peacefully as possible and guarding myself against any troubles she might try to cause for me.
We are both on a lease here until April. I obviously don't want to stay in the same place as her for four more months. The short term solution was to install a keyed lock on my bedroom door and move everything I own into there. My plan is to arrange a conversation with her, each of us with a witness of choice to keep things honest, and ask her to split the cost of breaking the lease ($2,000) and go our separate ways (in exchange for me not pressing charges personally, to say nothing of what the bank may do).
So at this point, I could use any information anyone might have about dealing with a similar situation and what I might need to do to resolve this as peacefully as possible and guarding myself against any troubles she might try to cause for me.
Diablo 3 - DVG#1857
DVG on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
You shouldn't have to worry too much about her making trouble as she's already admitted to theft and forgery.
They'll probably believe you over her at this point.
You're probably only going to get your money one of two ways - restitution from your case against her or all upfront to avoid you pressing that case.
Also, I don't know what your rent is but obviously if it's less than or around 500 bucks you should consider just evicting her and staying there. Also, since your current roommate is a felon, any given random from craigslist might actually be an improvement in your unique case.
I host a podcast about movies.
it may seem easier to avoid doing it, but it will be worse in the long run.
Obviously the bank will go after her to get the money back.
But also could you clarify....is she charged with stuff by the police as well? Did she go to jail? I mean, she admitted stealing. Also, I'm curious. WHY DID SHE DO THAT? Is she just crazy? Was it for Drugs? I know its a bit tangential, but its not like some random person, its someone who you live with. Did she think you wouldn't notice?
This really blows my mind. I thought the thread was going to be about material property, or jewelry, or some crap they might sell. But a check? Wow.
I also found out during my meeting that she was concealing the fact that we had a 3-day-late notice on our rent. Meaning they tried to cash her rent check last week and it bounced, and she had made arrangements to go in last Tuesday (when this all happened). I called on Wednesday and found out that her dad had been in to pay the rent, so that's at least taken care of). So to me that says that she lost her mind when she realized she couldn't cover the rent after I had already paid her my share at the beginning of the month and decided to try and get the money by any means necessary.
She didn't admit to stealing, she insisted she would never do that. She just admitted that it was her signature and her account. She seems to be maintaining that some third party gained access to the apartment while neither of us were here, stole my check, did a perfect forgery of her signature and deposited in her account in an effort to sow sedition amongst us, I guess.
I don't think the idea that she might legitimately not have memory of doing so is out of the question (IE: She might be actual for-real crazy). But that does not excuse the situation.
She's probably just trying to save face. People don't like looking bad.
It's technically possible, maybe, but unless she has a long and detailed history of such incidents happening in the past, I really doubt it.
It's far more likely that she is just trying (very badly) to be sneaky and pull the wool over your eyes. The fact that she thinks she's going to somehow be found innocent when she admitted to signing the check in her own handwriting and deposited to her personal account....boggles the mind. Probably a lot of attempted face-saving going on there too.
Press charges. I find it hard to believe that there isn't *something* you or the management can do to avoid having to live with a convicted thief, but i'm not much of an expert on the laws for that sort of thing.
In any case, playing hard ball to get her out has very little chance in working if she turns out to not be willing to go. It'll take longer than 4 months to evict her if she refuses to leave (IE, the apartment complex can't legally kick her out without a court order, which takes a long time to get), which is why I thought some kind of peaceful resolution was the way to go.
But your roommate is a felon and you owe it to yourself, society, and even her to sue the shit out of her for ever dime of this so the next time she's about to do two grand in check fraud she remembers "Oh wait check fraud is a bonehead move and a giant pain in the ass" not to mention this is felony forgery and/or fraud most places so an actual F on her record for white collar fraud basically bones her. I'd, personally, at my business, hire a murderer before a check floater. Shit, at least I know a murderer completes tasks with passion and follow-through.
You're within morality to say, "I want to believe this is an honest mistake, so take care of my financial damage and that's what we'll call it, otherwise you've put me in a position where I have to involve police, for my own protection" and if you think she's batty, say it to her guardians. You're three grand into that person. I'm assuming that's 1-3 months of your life, if you're living like the average forumer, to say nothing of time and trouble.
I host a podcast about movies.
Ah, I missed where you mentioned moving out in April....In that case, I would probably lean slightly more towards locking your stuff down for the remaining months, with the understanding between the two of you that you will be watching like a hawk for more trouble.
That said, you really need to speak with someone experienced in tenant law for your area, and see if there's any way to override the complex's "no eviction without a court order" policy.
There's at least one method that will work anywhere but maybe new york and california, I can almost guarantee, but it's a little tricky.
It goes like this: Pack your shit. Don't pay rent. Get evicted. Pay off the lease immediately after eviction to avoid credit reporting. You'll probably get hit with your break lease clause anyway, but it will empty out the property, but you should be able to sue her for anything but the actual late fees. You might consider a few hours of a lawyer's time (again, this should be recoverable if you take her to court) as he could quickly tell you if she can be tossed or not and speed up any paper you need from the court.
I host a podcast about movies.
I host a podcast about movies.
I haven't explored anything yet. She was gone from the evening this happens until some point during the night last night. The day of I avoided all contact after the police officer left.
But her buying me out is almost laughable. She's been unemployed the last six months and doesn't even have a car now. She has no means of independently supporting herself and relies on her grandparents to get her money for rent and food (and yet she still manages to hit the bars at least once a week and every night the week before Christmas).
Maybe they'll pay you.
This woman decided wrecking your life had a price of about 3000 dollars to her. (I'm estimating on the rent, but still). . . You don't owe her much. You owe her the bare protection from having the shit kicked out of her that the law offers, and that's it.
(hitting the bars is easy for girls, btw, especially pathological exploiters)
I host a podcast about movies.
Make sure it is okay with your landlord. Our rental company will break the door to get into the room and charge you for the damages and the cost of the new knob/door if they find out you are replacing locks. Better yet, ask the landlord if it is possible to have them install one on your door. You may not have to pay for it.
Did this day one, and the lease manager suggested it herself, so it should be kosher with the complex.
So your apt manager is ok with kicking her out physically but won't evict her legally? Does not compute.
I host a podcast about movies.
I'm fairly sure he means getting a keyed lock on his bedroom door, not on the apartment. See if that computes a little better.
<-- Is a he.
But yes, on the bedroom door in order to provide extra protection for valuables.
Fuck I'd treat that apartment like a warzone now. Get a min fridge and keep all your food and shit inside your room and only go out on entrance and leave.
If you're going to go this route, at least have the common sense to actually wage war. She stole from you; you're not supposed to be the one confined to a single room for the next four months.
Decide on what you want as an endgame (ie--do you want her out of your life? do you want her to go to jail? or is it enough to have her out of your apartment?) and then leverage her by whatever means necessary to get that endgame. Off-hand, your two best pieces of leverage are the fact that she's flat-assed broke, and the fact that she's committed a felony against your property. Leverage it. If you don't care too much about the legal consequences, offer to work with the bank and the police to take some of the legal heat off her if she agrees to voluntarily break the lease and vacate. Sweeten the pot by offering to work with the landlord to make sure she doesn't get hit with a penalty for breaking her lease. If you do want her to suffer through the criminal process, that removes a lot of your ability to use it as leverage--you'll have to find some way to make her miserable.
Fun story: when I decided I wanted to get rid of one of my roommates, I leveraged everything I could against her, including the fact that our lease stipulated that we each pay an equal share of the utilities, and I make substantially more money. So I left a space-heater on for like a week straight each month. The utilities bill skyrocketed, she couldn't pay her share, and so she defaulted on the rent. It hit my own wallet pretty hard, but it was totally worth the extra $400 to watch her box up her things.
That's what it's all going to come down to: in order to be assured of getting what you want, you're going to have to give up something you have. Maybe it will be some peace and quiet. Maybe it will be some money. Maybe it will be the satisfaction of seeing her enter a "guilty" plea. Just pick what you're willing to sacrifice to get rid of her, and leverage it.
But yeah, find a way to kick her out, but in the mean time you may want to keep yourself safe, sane, and not throwing up because of a pube in your cereal box.
I host a podcast about movies.
Who said spit?
For the record, I am having a new years party on Wednesday, which is the event she's referring to.
I am writing this reply:
The truth is, it would be ridiculously naive of me to believe you, and it has nothing to do with what I want to believe. I really wish I could just believe you, but I can't. I just can't. How could I?
The truth is, we need to sit down and have a talk about what goes on from here. Obviously we aren't going to continue living together past April, but I think we should explore our options of ceasing our arrangement prior to then. This is just going to be extremely uncomfortable all around and I think it'd be best for one of us to leave or to pay to end our lease sooner rather than later and go our separate ways.
I think it'd be best if we each had someone present for this conversation to keep everything honest. I'd say you should invite whomever from your family best capable to serve as a witness, and I'll invite someone to do the same for me.
Though, besides all that, you need to start thinking about what this means for you in the more serious sense than social awkwardness. This was Fraud. It's a felony and it can carry jail time. If you really didn't do it, you need to pull your family in and start doing whatever you can to prove you didn't do it, because regardless of what I want the bank isn't likely to let this drop, and you need to be concerned for your own future.
Tell her you do not forgive her for stealing from you and you won't consider it until she admits she stole from you.
God I can't believe the deep denial in that email, or that this little drama whore would have the balls to bitch about her reputation with your friends. That's sociopathic behavior.
Also, if she didn't do it, why did someone put money in her account for no reason? Why didn't she report it ASAP herself if 2000 dollars came from no where? Why did this mysterious mastermind act just when she was short rent?
I host a podcast about movies.
Your pretty much fucked either way here. I think your best option is to sit down with her and just say things aren't work out and it would be best for both of you to move on. Offer to split the $2,000 and cut your losses.
Take it as a life lesson and move on. Your not going to win in this situation, fighting with crazy people will get you no where.
I do like that you stated explicitly that you want to discuss one party leaving in the near future. I also like that you mentioned the bank and the criminal element to this as sort of a hanging threat in the future, although personally I'd have left some sort of suggestion open that perhaps the road to her not being completely fucked in the future runs through you. Because it largely does--if she's arrested or issued a summons, a prosecutor will get assigned to the case, and he'll probably be perfectly happy to work with you in advance of the trial. The girl's going to have to beg to plead this one out anyway because they've pretty much got her dead to rights, so her moving out can easily be a part of whatever deal the prosecutor offers.