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That's one Suave Motherfucker

13468968

Posts

  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Have I mentioned I'm terribly lonely?

    I'm pretty lonely, guys.

    DE?AD on
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    So, like... in the car?

    Do your friends have videos?

    MrMonroe on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    after i broke my hip i was at a party and i told a girl about my injury so she was like, "Can you still have sex comfortably?" and i answered with "Want to find out?" she said yes. whore
    That one sounds like a keeper.

    Hacksaw on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    No she was serious.

    I don't think we ever got to do it, but at some point my dick was out of my pants and I had a faceful of titties for a while.

    Graves on
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    Have I mentioned I'm terribly lonely?

    I'm pretty lonely, guys.

    Have you tried online dating? It worked for me, once.

    Edit: Nice, Graves.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    after i broke my hip i was at a party and i told a girl about my injury so she was like, "Can you still have sex comfortably?" and i answered with "Want to find out?" she said yes. whore
    That one sounds like a keeper.

    it was not the last time i was asked that question either.

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    Have I mentioned I'm terribly lonely?

    I'm pretty lonely, guys.

    Have you tried online dating? It worked for me, once.
    Online dating is incredibly touch and go if you're a dude.

    Hacksaw on
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    Have I mentioned I'm terribly lonely?

    I'm pretty lonely, guys.

    Have you tried online dating? It worked for me, once.

    Kinda. I do not have a camera or stored photos of myself, though, so that's a set back right there.

    Even ugly with photos is better than unknown with no photos.

    DE?AD on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    after i broke my hip i was at a party and i told a girl about my injury so she was like, "Can you still have sex comfortably?" and i answered with "Want to find out?" she said yes. whore
    That one sounds like a keeper.

    it was not the last time i was asked that question either.
    Was it the last time you had sex with the person who asked?

    Hacksaw on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    after i broke my hip i was at a party and i told a girl about my injury so she was like, "Can you still have sex comfortably?" and i answered with "Want to find out?" she said yes. whore
    That one sounds like a keeper.

    it was not the last time i was asked that question either.
    Was it the last time you had sex with the person who asked?

    yes. the last time i ever saw her no less

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    after i broke my hip i was at a party and i told a girl about my injury so she was like, "Can you still have sex comfortably?" and i answered with "Want to find out?" she said yes. whore
    That one sounds like a keeper.

    it was not the last time i was asked that question either.
    Was it the last time you had sex with the person who asked?

    yes. the last time i ever saw her no less

    Well, everything worked out.

    Congratulations!

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    after i broke my hip i was at a party and i told a girl about my injury so she was like, "Can you still have sex comfortably?" and i answered with "Want to find out?" she said yes. whore
    That one sounds like a keeper.

    it was not the last time i was asked that question either.
    Was it the last time you had sex with the person who asked?

    yes. the last time i ever saw her no less
    Shame. She sounds like a good one.

    Hacksaw on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Her offer is still on the table, though she has declared herself a lesbian.

    Hm...

    Graves on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Graves wrote: »
    Her offer is still on the table, though she has declared herself a lesbian.

    Hm...
    Pfffft, she's just playing hard to get.

    Hacksaw on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    Her offer is still on the table, though she has declared herself a lesbian.

    Hm...
    Pfffft, she's just playing hard to get.

    Hard to get for who?

    I got an invitation for sex.

    Graves on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited January 2009
    basically, you turned her into a lesbian

    bongi on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    That doesn't even make sense.

    Graves on
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    It's a joke because you look like a lady.

    MrMonroe on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Graves wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    Her offer is still on the table, though she has declared herself a lesbian.

    Hm...
    Pfffft, she's just playing hard to get.

    Hard to get for who?
    For other men?

    Hacksaw on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I am quite pretty...

    Graves on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited January 2009
    she was so disgusted

    she turned into a dyke

    bongi on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I walk up to some friends, who are chuckling, apparently something interesting happened.

    "Graves, man, you missed it! We all saw Tori's tits!"

    "Hey Tori. Show me your tits."

    She complies

    "Aw what no fair"

    Graves on
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Graves continually makes me ashamed of my own teenage years.

    Way to go. Jerk.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Don't worry, he's made me ashamed of my twenties, and I haven't even finished them yet.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    vsove wrote: »
    Graves continually makes me ashamed of my own teenage years.

    Way to go. Jerk.

    God I know

    Meissnerd on
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    He's just livin' the good life.

    And then college blows his mind and he continues to have a grand time.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'm pretty certain Graves is making everyone ashamed of their everything.

    Good job, Graves.

    DE?AD on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Tori and another girl both offered to blow me at the same time.

    I said no because the condition was that this dude was also going to get in on it (the blowing).

    And God that was awkward.

    Graves on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited January 2009
    I spent my teenage years in the closet, so I did very little.

    But then I came out and saw more titties and kissed more girls.

    Moral of the story: ???

    bongi on
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I can't really be ashamed of the last 5 or 6 years.

    They've been pretty damn good.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    That wouldn't have been gay, though - the dude would have been cancelled out by one of the girls.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'm pretty happy with the last half year of my life.

    Turns out that eating well, dressing well and having self-confidence makes a pretty big difference in how you feel about life in general.

    Who knew!

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    That wouldn't have been gay, though - the dude would have been cancelled out by one of the girls.

    He creeped me out from the start.

    This is how we came upon this offer.

    He passes the bowl over to me, and as take a hit...

    "I wanna suck your dick"

    COUGH CHOKE CHOKE COUGH COUGH

    Graves on
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I truly wish I had friends my age in this area.

    I have no clue where things are, and going places by yourself only serves to further remind one of their own insufferable loneliness.

    DE?AD on
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    I truly wish I had friends my age in this area.

    I have no clue where things are, and going places by yourself only serves to further remind one of their own insufferable loneliness.

    Join an activity.

    Volunteer.

    Both will do wonders!

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Go make friends!

    I don't know how many times I've been on my way to a party by myself and end up knowing nobody there and having amazing times with total strangers, some of which end up being pretty great friends.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    I truly wish I had friends my age in this area.

    I have no clue where things are, and going places by yourself only serves to further remind one of their own insufferable loneliness.

    I have that problem in my home town - and so does the only friend I have who still lives there, as we tried to go out somewhere tonight and realised that we don't know the slightest thing about where to go.

    You should take some evening classes or join an organisation or something.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    vsove wrote: »
    DE?AD wrote: »
    I truly wish I had friends my age in this area.

    I have no clue where things are, and going places by yourself only serves to further remind one of their own insufferable loneliness.

    Join an activity.

    Volunteer.

    Both will do wonders!

    I joined an activity and everyone in it is a good ten years older than I am!

    Okay, this one I'll bite on - volunteer at what?

    DE?AD on
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Go make friends!

    I don't know how many times I've been on my way to a party by myself and end up knowing nobody there and having amazing times with total strangers, some of which end up being pretty great friends.

    Unless you're a completely contemptible individual, this generally works.

    You're not a completely contemptible individual, are you?

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    vsove wrote: »
    DE?AD wrote: »
    I truly wish I had friends my age in this area.

    I have no clue where things are, and going places by yourself only serves to further remind one of their own insufferable loneliness.

    Join an activity.

    Volunteer.

    Both will do wonders!

    I joined an activity and everyone in it is a good ten years older than I am!

    Okay, this one I'll bite on - volunteer at what?

    Bikini carwash?

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
This discussion has been closed.