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I think you have it pretty much covered. Make sure you know how long she's unprotected for if she misses a pill though. I can't remember how long it is but it was longer than I expected. It should be in the little leaflet that comes with the pills.
You are a lot more likely to accidentally get her pregnant this way. It might be worth looking into an IUD (coil) or contraceptive implants.
Another thing to consider is that her vagina may react badly to semen. That happened to a former girlfriend of mine. She got kind of an uncomfortable burning sometimes. I think it has something to do with diet.
You're doin good.
You might want to try out NuvaRing as Birth Control, hell of a lot easier to deal with, and no chances of getting screwed by forgetting to take a pill.
I think you have it pretty much covered. Make sure you know how long she's unprotected for if she misses a pill though. I can't remember how long it is but it was longer than I expected. It should be in the little leaflet that comes with the pills.
You are a lot more likely to accidentally get her pregnant this way. It might be worth looking into an IUD (coil) or contraceptive implants.
Another thing to consider is that her vagina may react badly to semen. That happened to a former girlfriend of mine. She got kind of an uncomfortable burning sometimes. I think it has something to do with diet.
Spicy foods are no bueno according to my girlfriend.
Personally, I think you should have gotten tested before even having sex with a condom. But hey, it's your genetalia, not mine.
Anyways, I have just recently had my first time without a condom and it is AMAZING. In fact, it's actually harder for me to cum with a condom on than it ever was before. Therefore, I give you a cautionary warning about that. My girlfriend and I are both clean and very cautious with sex, so we've made a decision that we only do it without condoms on Saturdays. We see it as a compromise, as we are both aware that we are flirting with danger.
Well, as was said.. I think you got it all covered there.
Definately discuss it with her previously, as opposed to "Suprise, no condom!".
She may react bady if you actually ejaculate inside her, so take that into concideration... it may happen the first time, it may happen every time, it may never happen, just be aware of it as was mentioned.
As for the sensation? Well it IS different for sure, but it's never been enough of a difference for me to risk being a papa before my time.
Me and my girl have both been tested so we know we are clean, but we still use a condom since it's just a more convenient method of safety for us.
In all, if she is on the pill, you are both in a stable relationship, and both agree, go for it.
The pill can fail. "Will" is another matter. In any case, it's good to think about the possibility. Basically, if you're going to have sex without condoms, your/her choices here are:
- Switch to a non-pill form of birth control (Nuvaring, Depo Provera, Norplant, etc.).
- Figure out what she needs to do and where she needs to go to get emergency contraception in your area.
- Acknowledge that the pill might fail and she might end up pregnant.
I'm not going to discuss the pros and cons of each option. That's for her to decide.
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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Magus`The fun has been DOUBLED!Registered Userregular
edited November 2006
I've found sex with a condom is like not having sex. There is no feeling.
I envy those of you who can manage to feel anything with them.
For the OP, you should be ok but you can always use a second protection like this spermicide foam stuff.
You're doin good.
You might want to try out NuvaRing as Birth Control, hell of a lot easier to deal with, and no chances of getting screwed by forgetting to take a pill.
Ill agree with this, nothing ruins the fun of doing it without a condom like your significant other remembering the next day that she forgot to take her pill.
From everything else it seems like you have the basics covered and are going about it the right way. In the mean time maybe get some extra sensitive condoms. They are thinner than normal condoms and work just as well.
Taco Bell does win the franchise war according to the tome of knowledge that is Demolition Man. However, I've watched Demolition Man more then a few times and never once did I see WoW. In conclusion Taco Bell has more lasting power then WoW.
The pill can and will fail. I don't see why you're willing to take the chance of an accidental pregnancy.
If by 'can and will', you mean there's a remote possibility, sure. There's a remote possibility of getting pregnant with condoms as well. I've been having non-condom sex for 9 years now, on the pill the whole time, no pregnancy. Don't be a scaremonger.
According to http://www.plannedparenthood.org the pill is over 99% effective with perfect use. Condoms on the other hand are 98% effective with perfect use.
For those complaining about condoms, you're just using shitty condoms
For the OP: It sounds like you're on the right path to start. Bring it up with her, get tested if you want to be safest regarding disease. This would also be the time to discuss kids, feelings on abortion, and who should stock up on Plan B.
Plan B works best if taken because of an obvious emergency, as it's only effective for about 72 hours after conception. That can be 3 days, or later, as sperm can survive for a few days in the vagina and uterus. Harder to tell if she's on the pill, though, but it's still good to have (and OTC now).
The kids/abortion thing is the big one, IMO. The pill is damn effective if she doesn't mess it up, but people are humans and can make a mistake. Say she puts them in her purse and then her purses gets stolen, or she sleeps over at your place but leaves her pills at home. Just half a day late, but it could present issues. So if she does get pregnant, how do you both feel about abortion? Would you abort, but she wouldn't?
You don't need to discuss those with us, mind, as they're personal choices without a right or wrong answer. But compatibility is key. Pregnancy is a possibility with any sexual intercourse, no matter how much protection you use. It could be .00001% but the freaky accidents happen. Knowing what your plan of attack is if you're faced with a seemingly immaculate conception is always good
According to http://www.plannedparenthood.org the pill is over 99% effective with perfect use. Condoms on the other hand are 98% effective with perfect use.
Sure, but if you know anything about probability, then you'll realize that the chance of both failing you is exceedingly small. As in, a 0.02% chance that both safeguards will let you down, assuming perfect use. Given that only one has to work in order for a pregnancy to be avoided, stacking protection is never a bad idea. I find sex is nicer without condoms, sure, but the OP may want to be aware that it does involve some increased risk. I know, chance of unwanted pregnancy goes from really really really small, to just plain really small, but it's still an increase.
My girlfriend and I went back to condoms after several years without, actually, mainly because she was having trouble finding birth control that didn't mess with her hormonal mechanisms. I thought it would bother me, switching back, but it really hasn't. The having sex helps me cope, I think.
According to http://www.plannedparenthood.org the pill is over 99% effective with perfect use. Condoms on the other hand are 98% effective with perfect use.
Sure, but if you know anything about probability, then you'll realize that the chance of both failing you is exceedingly small. As in, a 0.02% chance that both safeguards will let you down, assuming perfect use. Given that only one has to work in order for a pregnancy to be avoided, stacking protection is never a bad idea. I find sex is nicer without condoms, sure, but the OP may want to be aware that it does involve some increased risk. I know, chance of unwanted pregnancy goes from really really really small, to just plain really small, but it's still an increase.
My girlfriend and I went back to condoms after several years without, actually, mainly because she was having trouble finding birth control that didn't mess with her hormonal mechanisms. I thought it would bother me, switching back, but it really hasn't. The having sex helps me cope, I think.
I don't think anyone would disagree that doubling up is the best idea to avoid pregnancy. I was just responding to ege02's post where he said the pill will fail.
Talked through, thoroughly, what you both would do if she got pregnant. The workbook at pregnancyoptions.info should help you plan. Don't have the conversation when you're horny, you don't want to be making silly hasty decisions And if you can't agree, don't have penetrative sex at all.
get a full set of STD tests done, both of you, if you can afford it (saving up is a very good idea). Even if you're sure you're clean, its good to have the paper saying so.
Get a prescription for Plan B, have it filled and in your house. You don't want to go hunting for a pharmacist who won't call your girl a whore and turn her away after a problem becomes apparent. It needs to be taken ASAP after an accident.
Have the cost of an abortion in your bank account at all times. It'll be several hundred dollars, even of you don't have to go stay somewhere overnight to get access to a clinic - compulsory waiting periods can be a bitch. Doesn't matter whether you believe that's the right decision for you now or not, things may change. And if you decide to keep a pregnancy, the cash'll come in handy anyway :P
Expect the best, plan for the worst, in other words.
The Cat on
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
The kids/abortion thing is the big one, IMO. The pill is damn effective if she doesn't mess it up, but people are humans and can make a mistake. Say she puts them in her purse and then her purses gets stolen, or she sleeps over at your place but leaves her pills at home. Just half a day late, but it could present issues. So if she does get pregnant, how do you both feel about abortion? Would you abort, but she wouldn't?
The pill is designed to be missed occasionally (please note my bbcode as I don't want people to miss it all the time) One of my friends went on an plane and threw hers up and enquired to the doctor whether or not she'd need another two weeks with rubbers or not and the doctor said not to sweat it. To be fair though I don't know if that is a specific type of pill or a generalisation.
The big thing you gotta watch (which I find amazing more people don't know) is that anti-biotics stop the pill from working for about two weeks of so. For Gods sake keep this in mind.
I've found sex with a condom is like not having sex. There is no feeling.
I envy those of you who can manage to feel anything with them.
For the OP, you should be ok but you can always use a second protection like this spermicide foam stuff.
I wouldn't envy, i'd rather not be so sensitive than I am.
This is exactly what I thought. With my last girlfriend, we'd often start without the condom and I'd put it on later (TERRIBLE IDEA, DON'T DO THIS). But after getting started like that, even with the condom on I couldn't go for too long. We adjusted and got used to it, but I always wished I was a little less sensitive down there.
Now with my new girlfriend, I'm using the condom right from the start (not repeating old mistakes), and I think she's a bit bigger down there. I find myself able to go a lot longer, sometimes to the point where I want to give up. It's nice being able to give her multiples, but it's so god damn tiring for the both of us, and like Magus said there's no feeling (for me).
I've found sex with a condom is like not having sex. There is no feeling.
I envy those of you who can manage to feel anything with them.
For the OP, you should be ok but you can always use a second protection like this spermicide foam stuff.
I wouldn't envy, i'd rather not be so sensitive than I am.
This is exactly what I thought. With my last girlfriend, we'd often start without the condom and I'd put it on later (TERRIBLE IDEA, DON'T DO THIS). But after getting started like that, even with the condom on I couldn't go for too long. We adjusted and got used to it, but I always wished I was a little less sensitive down there.
Now with my new girlfriend, I'm using the condom right from the start (not repeating old mistakes), and I think she's a bit bigger down there. I find myself able to go a lot longer, sometimes to the point where I want to give up. It's nice being able to give her multiples, but it's so god damn tiring for the both of us, and like Magus said there's no feeling (for me).
In other words: be careful what you wish for.
I second this. My girl is on the pill, and we kind of abuse this. I've been meaning to use a condom everytime but I really haven't often enough, let's just say it's not priority in your brain a certain point into it.
The kids/abortion thing is the big one, IMO. The pill is damn effective if she doesn't mess it up, but people are humans and can make a mistake. Say she puts them in her purse and then her purses gets stolen, or she sleeps over at your place but leaves her pills at home. Just half a day late, but it could present issues. So if she does get pregnant, how do you both feel about abortion? Would you abort, but she wouldn't?
The pill is designed to be missed occasionally (please note my bbcode as I don't want people to miss it all the time) One of my friends went on an plane and threw hers up and enquired to the doctor whether or not she'd need another two weeks with rubbers or not and the doctor said not to sweat it. To be fair though I don't know if that is a specific type of pill or a generalisation.
The big thing you gotta watch (which I find amazing more people don't know) is that anti-biotics stop the pill from working for about two weeks of so. For Gods sake keep this in mind.
That doctor gave your friend terrible, terrible advice. The pill is designed to be taken every single day, without fail. I have a condition which means I start cramping days and days before my period actually starts, so I used to go off my pill earlier than the full 28 days to make the whole thing start and stop sooner. My doctor told me to cut that right out, it messes with the contraception.
The pill needs to be taken every day, without fail, for the full 28 day cycle.
Krysanthemum on
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AbsoluteZeroThe new film by Quentin KoopantinoRegistered Userregular
edited November 2006
I wouldn't say you need a prescription of Plan B on hand... Damn near any clinic or family planning center will give it to you on a walk-in visit. Though I guess if you are paranoid.
Personally I wouldn't keep any on hand because it allows you to be lazy. You shouldn't ever go "oh it doesn't matter, I can take Plan B in the morning!"
I would think that if your girlfriend is on the pill then she should be having a cervical exam/smear test once a year or something anyway. As far as I'm aware, they test for STDs as well as cervical cancer etc. so her getting tested may be a non-issue, but it's a responsible move for you to get tested all the same.
Personally, I think people are making way to big a deal out of the extra risks that are involved here. Oral contraception typically has a pearl index rating of between 0.3 and 1.25 which theoretically means that around 1 woman in every 100 will become pregnant over the course of a year using it.
However, the pearl index rating is in itself flawed as it only measures who drops out of the study due to pregnancy, not necessarily why they got pregnant or dropped out which could range from side effects from other medicines or conditions (antibiotics and diarrhea can negate the effects of the pill) to intentionally deciding to try and get pregnant to simply being uncontactable for follow-up. What's more, it also assumes a regular failure rate over time where as in reality, an experienced user of a specific method is likely to be better at using the method (ie - if your girlfriend has been on the pill for a while, then she will be used to habitually taking the pill at regular intervals).
I mean sure, take the financial precautions and have a back-up plan. That's sensible advice. Just don't succumb to the fearmongering and be terrified to do the hanky-panky.
One little thing: Make sure she's not on any other medications that can inhibit the effectiveness of the pill. I am told that antidepressants are notorious for this. Check with her physician, etc.
I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, but to start you should go condomless directly before or after you girlfriends period. This is not a guarantee to prevent conception, but these are the times when she is the least fertile. Conversely be more condom diligent during the middle two weeks of her cycle as this will be when she's ovulating (if anything does go wrong with the pill) and therefore highly fertile.
Another good option is to learn how to orgasm without ejaculating. That sounds weird to most people when they hear it the first time, but your ejaculation is seperate from your orgasm and if you develope your PC muscle enough you can seperate them with a little practice. The added bonus here is that you can orgasm multiple times without losing your erection, and when you're good and ready you can ejaculate if you want to. look for a book called "the multiorgasmic man" if you're curious or anything about tantric sex, most likely. I had problems for years with being "too sensitive" and was amazed at how easy it was to change this with a few simple excercises.
*disclaimer - you do not have to ejaculate to conceive, this advice is for reducing risk not eliminating it*
Theungry on
Unfortunately, western cultures frown upon arranged marriages, so the vast majority of people have to take risks in order to get into relationships.
I'm not at all surprised it hasn't been mentioned, because the rhythm method is a fucktarded means of contraception and an awesome way to become a parent. If your advice is retarded, please don't share it. Having sex in a pool also doesn't prevent conception, before you go and try that and end up cursing the world with your legacy.
One little thing: Make sure she's not on any other medications that can inhibit the effectiveness of the pill. I am told that antidepressants are notorious for this. Check with her physician, etc.
Generally, anything that mucks around with your hormones could potentially screw around with what the pill is doing, because that's it's target area as well, so yeah ADs could probably have adverse side effects. However, if she is on antidepressants, I'd imagine that the prescribing doctor would already be aware that she was on the pill and advise her accordingly.
I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, but to start you should go condomless directly before or after you girlfriends period. This is not a guarantee to prevent conception, but these are the times when she is the least fertile. Conversely be more condom diligent during the middle two weeks of her cycle as this will be when she's ovulating (if anything does go wrong with the pill) and therefore highly fertile.
If she's on the pill, she won't have a cycle. And that other stuff is just wow no.
Well, Im not really sure what to say here, because there honestly is NO sure fire way of preventing pregnancy. I mean really, if you dont want to take that risk, you should continue to use condoms, and she should stay on the pill and take every prevention she can to try to prevent conception.
I mean im sure it would feel better to a man without a condom, but unless you are ready for the possibility of a pregnancy happening, I think you should just enjoy it for what it feels like, using protection.
I'm not at all surprised it hasn't been mentioned, because the rhythm method is a fucktarded means of contraception and an awesome way to become a parent. If your advice is retarded, please don't share it. Having sex in a pool also doesn't prevent conception, before you go and try that and end up cursing the world with your legacy.
uhuh... well, that would be why i stated that it would reduce risk and not prevent conception. Obviously its not a very good choice for people using no other form of contraception. Any 13 baby catholic family is evidence of that, but we're talking about people on the pill anyway, and i'd like to thinks its better advice than "just go for it, the pill is pretty safe."
Thanks for hating, though.
Theungry on
Unfortunately, western cultures frown upon arranged marriages, so the vast majority of people have to take risks in order to get into relationships.
And before you try any of the rest of the myths that circulate in the church youth-group, having sex standing up doesn't prevent conception at all either, and pulling out is analagous to counting on your buddy to stop the full weight the axe he's swinging just before it lops off your wang.
If she's on the pill, she won't have a cycle. And that other stuff is just wow no.
Seriously, do you have any first hand experience with tantra, non-ejaculatory orgasm or your pubococcygeus muscle? Because its not exactly out of left field. People have been doing it in Asia for 10,000 years.
Theungry on
Unfortunately, western cultures frown upon arranged marriages, so the vast majority of people have to take risks in order to get into relationships.
And before you try any of the rest of the myths that circulate in the church youth-group, having sex standing up doesn't prevent conception at all either, and pulling out is analagous to counting on your buddy to stop the full weight the axe he's swinging just before it lops off your wang.
OK, wow, you are pegging me in the wrong group buddy. Contraception is my friend. I've had lots of premarital sex and have lots of married sex with no intention of making babies. All i'm saying is use every tactic at your disposal, and this is one for the list that reduces risk. Its not a myth. Its not reliable by any means as a sole method of contraception, but it does mitigate.
Theungry on
Unfortunately, western cultures frown upon arranged marriages, so the vast majority of people have to take risks in order to get into relationships.
And before you try any of the rest of the myths that circulate in the church youth-group, having sex standing up doesn't prevent conception at all either, and pulling out is analagous to counting on your buddy to stop the full weight the axe he's swinging just before it lops off your wang.
OK, wow, you are pegging me in the wrong group buddy. Contraception is my friend. I've had lots of premarital sex and have lots of married sex with no intention of making babies. All i'm saying is use every tactic at your disposal, and this is one for the list that reduces risk. Its not a myth. Its not reliable by any means as a sole method of contraception, but it does mitigate.
Not really, ace. Particularly if you were to read the other post responding to your advice. If you're using the rhythm method and the pill in conjunction, you're really only using the pill.
Edit: Though I'd say that it'll likely fuck with the cycle. Whatever the case you can't really expect anything from the cycle when hormone-drugs are being added daily. It will often do wierd shit.
"A woman's fertile period — the days when pregnancy is most likely — depends on the life span of sperm and on the life span of her egg. The egg lives for about a day. A man's sperm can live inside a woman's body for up to six days — possibly seven. Fertilization of a woman's egg is more likely from intercourse before or during ovulation than from intercourse following ovulation. It usually occurs during the six-day period that ends in ovulation.
In total, a woman has a good chance of becoming pregnant from unprotected vaginal intercourse over the course of about seven days of her menstrual cycle — as long as five days before the release of an egg (ovulation), the day of ovulation, and, possibly, the day after ovulation. She is less likely to become pregnant from unprotected intercourse in the day or two following ovulation, but it is possible.
Understanding her monthly fertility pattern can help a woman avoid an unintended pregnancy. It can also help her plan a pregnancy. The key is for her to know when fertilization may occur by estimating the time of ovulation as nearly as possible. This must be done carefully because the timing of ovulation varies greatly from one woman to another and, for some women, from one month to the next."
In general, i would think trusting the collected wisdom of a national organization devoted to preventing unwanted pregnancies is relatively reliable. I'm not aware of any reproductive health education requirement to become a PA mod.
Theungry on
Unfortunately, western cultures frown upon arranged marriages, so the vast majority of people have to take risks in order to get into relationships.
"A woman's fertile period — the days when pregnancy is most likely — depends on the life span of sperm and on the life span of her egg. The egg lives for about a day. A man's sperm can live inside a woman's body for up to six days — possibly seven. Fertilization of a woman's egg is more likely from intercourse before or during ovulation than from intercourse following ovulation. It usually occurs during the six-day period that ends in ovulation.
In total, a woman has a good chance of becoming pregnant from unprotected vaginal intercourse over the course of about seven days of her menstrual cycle — as long as five days before the release of an egg (ovulation), the day of ovulation, and, possibly, the day after ovulation. She is less likely to become pregnant from unprotected intercourse in the day or two following ovulation, but it is possible.
Understanding her monthly fertility pattern can help a woman avoid an unintended pregnancy. It can also help her plan a pregnancy. The key is for her to know when fertilization may occur by estimating the time of ovulation as nearly as possible. This must be done carefully because the timing of ovulation varies greatly from one woman to another and, for some women, from one month to the next."
In general, i would think trusting the collected wisdom of a national organization devoted to preventing unwanted pregnancies is relatively reliable. I'm not aware of any reproductive health education requirement to become a PA mod.
I can tell you this much, both times my wife got pregnant was *right* after her period, so anecdotally speaking, I'd say assuming that's a good time to go bareback is wrong.
Particularly if you were to read the other post responding to your advice. If you're using the rhythm method and the pill in conjunction, you're really only using the pill.
I can tell you this much, both times my wife got pregnant was *right* after her period, so anecdotally speaking, I'd say assuming that's a good time to go bareback is wrong.
See, I hear this way too much to believe that the science behind people's justification of the rhythm method could possibly be complete. As far as I have seen through other people coming down with a bad case of babies, the rhythm method makes more babies than it prevents.
I can tell you this much, both times my wife got pregnant was *right* after her period, so anecdotally speaking, I'd say assuming that's a good time to go bareback is wrong.
See, I hear this way too much to believe that the science behind people's justification of the rhythm method could possibly be complete. As far as I have seen through other people coming down with a bad case of babies, the rhythm method makes more babies than it prevents.
Yeah, we weren't using that method, but both pregnancies definitely happened not more than a day or two after her period. Hell, the second time, she was on birth control as well.
Posts
You are a lot more likely to accidentally get her pregnant this way. It might be worth looking into an IUD (coil) or contraceptive implants.
Another thing to consider is that her vagina may react badly to semen. That happened to a former girlfriend of mine. She got kind of an uncomfortable burning sometimes. I think it has something to do with diet.
You might want to try out NuvaRing as Birth Control, hell of a lot easier to deal with, and no chances of getting screwed by forgetting to take a pill.
Spicy foods are no bueno according to my girlfriend.
Anyways, I have just recently had my first time without a condom and it is AMAZING. In fact, it's actually harder for me to cum with a condom on than it ever was before. Therefore, I give you a cautionary warning about that. My girlfriend and I are both clean and very cautious with sex, so we've made a decision that we only do it without condoms on Saturdays. We see it as a compromise, as we are both aware that we are flirting with danger.
Definately discuss it with her previously, as opposed to "Suprise, no condom!".
She may react bady if you actually ejaculate inside her, so take that into concideration... it may happen the first time, it may happen every time, it may never happen, just be aware of it as was mentioned.
As for the sensation? Well it IS different for sure, but it's never been enough of a difference for me to risk being a papa before my time.
Me and my girl have both been tested so we know we are clean, but we still use a condom since it's just a more convenient method of safety for us.
In all, if she is on the pill, you are both in a stable relationship, and both agree, go for it.
- Switch to a non-pill form of birth control (Nuvaring, Depo Provera, Norplant, etc.).
- Figure out what she needs to do and where she needs to go to get emergency contraception in your area.
- Acknowledge that the pill might fail and she might end up pregnant.
I'm not going to discuss the pros and cons of each option. That's for her to decide.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I envy those of you who can manage to feel anything with them.
For the OP, you should be ok but you can always use a second protection like this spermicide foam stuff.
Steam Profile | Signature art by Alexandra 'Lexxy' Douglass
Ill agree with this, nothing ruins the fun of doing it without a condom like your significant other remembering the next day that she forgot to take her pill.
From everything else it seems like you have the basics covered and are going about it the right way. In the mean time maybe get some extra sensitive condoms. They are thinner than normal condoms and work just as well.
I wouldn't envy, i'd rather not be so sensitive than I am.
If by 'can and will', you mean there's a remote possibility, sure. There's a remote possibility of getting pregnant with condoms as well. I've been having non-condom sex for 9 years now, on the pill the whole time, no pregnancy. Don't be a scaremonger.
For the OP: It sounds like you're on the right path to start. Bring it up with her, get tested if you want to be safest regarding disease. This would also be the time to discuss kids, feelings on abortion, and who should stock up on Plan B.
Plan B works best if taken because of an obvious emergency, as it's only effective for about 72 hours after conception. That can be 3 days, or later, as sperm can survive for a few days in the vagina and uterus. Harder to tell if she's on the pill, though, but it's still good to have (and OTC now).
The kids/abortion thing is the big one, IMO. The pill is damn effective if she doesn't mess it up, but people are humans and can make a mistake. Say she puts them in her purse and then her purses gets stolen, or she sleeps over at your place but leaves her pills at home. Just half a day late, but it could present issues. So if she does get pregnant, how do you both feel about abortion? Would you abort, but she wouldn't?
You don't need to discuss those with us, mind, as they're personal choices without a right or wrong answer. But compatibility is key. Pregnancy is a possibility with any sexual intercourse, no matter how much protection you use. It could be .00001% but the freaky accidents happen. Knowing what your plan of attack is if you're faced with a seemingly immaculate conception is always good
My girlfriend and I went back to condoms after several years without, actually, mainly because she was having trouble finding birth control that didn't mess with her hormonal mechanisms. I thought it would bother me, switching back, but it really hasn't. The having sex helps me cope, I think.
Talked through, thoroughly, what you both would do if she got pregnant. The workbook at pregnancyoptions.info should help you plan. Don't have the conversation when you're horny, you don't want to be making silly hasty decisions
get a full set of STD tests done, both of you, if you can afford it (saving up is a very good idea). Even if you're sure you're clean, its good to have the paper saying so.
Get a prescription for Plan B, have it filled and in your house. You don't want to go hunting for a pharmacist who won't call your girl a whore and turn her away after a problem becomes apparent. It needs to be taken ASAP after an accident.
Have the cost of an abortion in your bank account at all times. It'll be several hundred dollars, even of you don't have to go stay somewhere overnight to get access to a clinic - compulsory waiting periods can be a bitch. Doesn't matter whether you believe that's the right decision for you now or not, things may change. And if you decide to keep a pregnancy, the cash'll come in handy anyway :P
Expect the best, plan for the worst, in other words.
The pill is designed to be missed occasionally (please note my bbcode as I don't want people to miss it all the time) One of my friends went on an plane and threw hers up and enquired to the doctor whether or not she'd need another two weeks with rubbers or not and the doctor said not to sweat it. To be fair though I don't know if that is a specific type of pill or a generalisation.
The big thing you gotta watch (which I find amazing more people don't know) is that anti-biotics stop the pill from working for about two weeks of so. For Gods sake keep this in mind.
Satans..... hints.....
This is exactly what I thought. With my last girlfriend, we'd often start without the condom and I'd put it on later (TERRIBLE IDEA, DON'T DO THIS). But after getting started like that, even with the condom on I couldn't go for too long. We adjusted and got used to it, but I always wished I was a little less sensitive down there.
Now with my new girlfriend, I'm using the condom right from the start (not repeating old mistakes), and I think she's a bit bigger down there. I find myself able to go a lot longer, sometimes to the point where I want to give up. It's nice being able to give her multiples, but it's so god damn tiring for the both of us, and like Magus said there's no feeling (for me).
In other words: be careful what you wish for.
I second this. My girl is on the pill, and we kind of abuse this. I've been meaning to use a condom everytime but I really haven't often enough, let's just say it's not priority in your brain a certain point into it.
Xbox : gunst4r
That doctor gave your friend terrible, terrible advice. The pill is designed to be taken every single day, without fail. I have a condition which means I start cramping days and days before my period actually starts, so I used to go off my pill earlier than the full 28 days to make the whole thing start and stop sooner. My doctor told me to cut that right out, it messes with the contraception.
The pill needs to be taken every day, without fail, for the full 28 day cycle.
Personally I wouldn't keep any on hand because it allows you to be lazy. You shouldn't ever go "oh it doesn't matter, I can take Plan B in the morning!"
Personally, I think people are making way to big a deal out of the extra risks that are involved here. Oral contraception typically has a pearl index rating of between 0.3 and 1.25 which theoretically means that around 1 woman in every 100 will become pregnant over the course of a year using it.
However, the pearl index rating is in itself flawed as it only measures who drops out of the study due to pregnancy, not necessarily why they got pregnant or dropped out which could range from side effects from other medicines or conditions (antibiotics and diarrhea can negate the effects of the pill) to intentionally deciding to try and get pregnant to simply being uncontactable for follow-up. What's more, it also assumes a regular failure rate over time where as in reality, an experienced user of a specific method is likely to be better at using the method (ie - if your girlfriend has been on the pill for a while, then she will be used to habitually taking the pill at regular intervals).
I mean sure, take the financial precautions and have a back-up plan. That's sensible advice. Just don't succumb to the fearmongering and be terrified to do the hanky-panky.
Another good option is to learn how to orgasm without ejaculating. That sounds weird to most people when they hear it the first time, but your ejaculation is seperate from your orgasm and if you develope your PC muscle enough you can seperate them with a little practice. The added bonus here is that you can orgasm multiple times without losing your erection, and when you're good and ready you can ejaculate if you want to. look for a book called "the multiorgasmic man" if you're curious or anything about tantric sex, most likely. I had problems for years with being "too sensitive" and was amazed at how easy it was to change this with a few simple excercises.
*disclaimer - you do not have to ejaculate to conceive, this advice is for reducing risk not eliminating it*
Generally, anything that mucks around with your hormones could potentially screw around with what the pill is doing, because that's it's target area as well, so yeah ADs could probably have adverse side effects. However, if she is on antidepressants, I'd imagine that the prescribing doctor would already be aware that she was on the pill and advise her accordingly.
If she's on the pill, she won't have a cycle. And that other stuff is just wow no.
I mean im sure it would feel better to a man without a condom, but unless you are ready for the possibility of a pregnancy happening, I think you should just enjoy it for what it feels like, using protection.
uhuh... well, that would be why i stated that it would reduce risk and not prevent conception. Obviously its not a very good choice for people using no other form of contraception. Any 13 baby catholic family is evidence of that, but we're talking about people on the pill anyway, and i'd like to thinks its better advice than "just go for it, the pill is pretty safe."
Thanks for hating, though.
Seriously, do you have any first hand experience with tantra, non-ejaculatory orgasm or your pubococcygeus muscle? Because its not exactly out of left field. People have been doing it in Asia for 10,000 years.
OK, wow, you are pegging me in the wrong group buddy. Contraception is my friend. I've had lots of premarital sex and have lots of married sex with no intention of making babies. All i'm saying is use every tactic at your disposal, and this is one for the list that reduces risk. Its not a myth. Its not reliable by any means as a sole method of contraception, but it does mitigate.
Edit: Though I'd say that it'll likely fuck with the cycle. Whatever the case you can't really expect anything from the cycle when hormone-drugs are being added daily. It will often do wierd shit.
"A woman's fertile period — the days when pregnancy is most likely — depends on the life span of sperm and on the life span of her egg. The egg lives for about a day. A man's sperm can live inside a woman's body for up to six days — possibly seven. Fertilization of a woman's egg is more likely from intercourse before or during ovulation than from intercourse following ovulation. It usually occurs during the six-day period that ends in ovulation.
In total, a woman has a good chance of becoming pregnant from unprotected vaginal intercourse over the course of about seven days of her menstrual cycle — as long as five days before the release of an egg (ovulation), the day of ovulation, and, possibly, the day after ovulation. She is less likely to become pregnant from unprotected intercourse in the day or two following ovulation, but it is possible.
Understanding her monthly fertility pattern can help a woman avoid an unintended pregnancy. It can also help her plan a pregnancy. The key is for her to know when fertilization may occur by estimating the time of ovulation as nearly as possible. This must be done carefully because the timing of ovulation varies greatly from one woman to another and, for some women, from one month to the next."
In general, i would think trusting the collected wisdom of a national organization devoted to preventing unwanted pregnancies is relatively reliable. I'm not aware of any reproductive health education requirement to become a PA mod.
I can tell you this much, both times my wife got pregnant was *right* after her period, so anecdotally speaking, I'd say assuming that's a good time to go bareback is wrong.
Emphasis added in case you didn't read my original post closely.
As the planned parenthood text states clearly. The timing of ovulation can vary greatly from woman to woman or even from one cycle to the next.
Yeah, we weren't using that method, but both pregnancies definitely happened not more than a day or two after her period. Hell, the second time, she was on birth control as well.