Everyone had been called to a meeting. When everyone arrived, all they found there in the room were lots of chair pointed towards a 12inch black and white television, a dusty VCR, and Dougal, who was looking poised to press play on the VCR at a moment’s notice.
When everyone had sat down, Dougal began:
“Now, Ted thinks someone’s trying to kill him, so he’s gone into hiding, and he’s left this video with instructions. That’s right isn’t it Ted?”
“For God’s sake shut up Dougal you fecking eejit” said a particularly manly-looking woman in a horrible wig in the front row
Dougal pressed play. Ted’s face appeared in the screen, and he began talking.
“Right.
Something horrible has happened. I was in John and Mary’s shop – such a lovely couple - and then in walked a lady I didn’t really know, so I got talking to her, and it turned out she was the house-keeper from the parochial house on Rugged Island – you know, that viper of a woman who keeps offering everyone coffee and won’t take no for an answer – anyhow, I asked what she was doing on Craggy Island and she ran out of the shop.
Luckily Father Dougal was roller-blading outside and knocked the old bint down. I started talking to her, and she spilled everything – that she’d been sent by Father Dick Byrne from Craggy Island to spy on me!
Ooh, I HATE DICK BYRNE” screamed Ted, forgetting who he was for a second. The tape continued
“Anyway, the house-keeper would say no more, so I took her back to the house, and Mrs Doyle gave her some particularly strong tea, and then she told me that Dick was on his way to Craggy Island, with Cyril McDuff and Jim Johnson, and that they’d had enough of me always being better than them…”
Dougal pressed pause
“To be honest, that’s not really what she said – Ted had blown up their sewerage pit with a bottle rocket and ruined Dick Byrne’s new cassock...”
“OH FOR GOD’S SAKE DOUGAL WILL YOU SHUT UP?”
The woman in the bad wig stood up, threw off the wig and turned to face them. The crowd gasped, not because it was Ted standing before them – that wasn’t a real surprise – but because Ted was wearing a particularly strange shade of lipstick.
“Listen. Ignorning the past” said Ted “Dick Byrne is coming here, in disguise. Now, we know his motives are sinister, that’s obvious, because he’s a horrible man. We need to stop him. So. Every day, we’re going to vote for someone to send to Rugged Island. And then we’re going to hit them with sticks.”
“NUNS!!”
Father Jack had woken from his alcohol induced haze.
“Dougal, give Father Jack a drink, will you?” said Ted.
*******************
Every day, vote for someone to send to Rugged Island. Also, don’t forget to send in your Tea order for Mrs Doyle, by pm to me.
Day 1 has begun - vote close at midnight GMT tomorrow (about 32 hours away)
EDIT: Apologies for not being able to count, Day 1 still has over 24 hours - closing at 7pm EST on Wednesday
That or I was networked with you when I last played in a phalla. All I know is I remember your name for some reason and you were top of the list. Regardless, my day one vote typically bounces around about 5 times before I fall asleep and leave it on a random person, so I wouldn't worry too much.
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El SkidThe frozen white northRegistered Userregular
Wait, wait. It's all so clear now. El Skid yelled drink at VThornheart, and rather than give El Skid a drink VT merely drank tea as though that was what El Skid meant. Really there is only one conclusion I can draw from this.
VThornheart is an alien. He is completely ignorant of the ways things are done on Craggy Island and it's the only thing that makes any sense here.
Did you just vote for me twice (once at the bottom of the last page, and again to make sure others could see it higher up on the next page), !Wildcat? I'm astonished!
Also your accent suddenly changed when it was pointed out. An obvious attempt to try to blend in, but you tried too hard. God alone knows how high up this conspiracy goes.
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El SkidThe frozen white northRegistered Userregular
... does this mean you're in on it, kime? What did they promise you to make you sell out humanity?
Everything. (I'm getting it in small payments over the next 20 years.)
(By the way, can someone please warn me when we get close-ish to close (although I think it's not even today? Maybe?). I'm very bad at time conversions. . . )
Posts
Everyone had been called to a meeting. When everyone arrived, all they found there in the room were lots of chair pointed towards a 12inch black and white television, a dusty VCR, and Dougal, who was looking poised to press play on the VCR at a moment’s notice.
When everyone had sat down, Dougal began:
“Now, Ted thinks someone’s trying to kill him, so he’s gone into hiding, and he’s left this video with instructions. That’s right isn’t it Ted?”
“For God’s sake shut up Dougal you fecking eejit” said a particularly manly-looking woman in a horrible wig in the front row
Dougal pressed play. Ted’s face appeared in the screen, and he began talking.
“Right.
Something horrible has happened. I was in John and Mary’s shop – such a lovely couple - and then in walked a lady I didn’t really know, so I got talking to her, and it turned out she was the house-keeper from the parochial house on Rugged Island – you know, that viper of a woman who keeps offering everyone coffee and won’t take no for an answer – anyhow, I asked what she was doing on Craggy Island and she ran out of the shop.
Luckily Father Dougal was roller-blading outside and knocked the old bint down. I started talking to her, and she spilled everything – that she’d been sent by Father Dick Byrne from Craggy Island to spy on me!
Ooh, I HATE DICK BYRNE” screamed Ted, forgetting who he was for a second. The tape continued
“Anyway, the house-keeper would say no more, so I took her back to the house, and Mrs Doyle gave her some particularly strong tea, and then she told me that Dick was on his way to Craggy Island, with Cyril McDuff and Jim Johnson, and that they’d had enough of me always being better than them…”
Dougal pressed pause
“To be honest, that’s not really what she said – Ted had blown up their sewerage pit with a bottle rocket and ruined Dick Byrne’s new cassock...”
“OH FOR GOD’S SAKE DOUGAL WILL YOU SHUT UP?”
The woman in the bad wig stood up, threw off the wig and turned to face them. The crowd gasped, not because it was Ted standing before them – that wasn’t a real surprise – but because Ted was wearing a particularly strange shade of lipstick.
“Listen. Ignorning the past” said Ted “Dick Byrne is coming here, in disguise. Now, we know his motives are sinister, that’s obvious, because he’s a horrible man. We need to stop him. So. Every day, we’re going to vote for someone to send to Rugged Island. And then we’re going to hit them with sticks.”
“NUNS!!”
Father Jack had woken from his alcohol induced haze.
“Dougal, give Father Jack a drink, will you?” said Ted.
Every day, vote for someone to send to Rugged Island. Also, don’t forget to send in your Tea order for Mrs Doyle, by pm to me.
Day 1 has begun - vote close at midnight GMT tomorrow (about 32 hours away)
EDIT: Apologies for not being able to count, Day 1 still has over 24 hours - closing at 7pm EST on Wednesday
Voting Wildcat is so 2008.
I'm pass[FONT="]é.
One thing that doesn't change - people calling to check an email address should be typed all in lower case. Because that matters.
That would be an ecumenical matter.
Sounds like something a priest would say!
QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
FECK OFF!
Oh, and !The_reflection. Because he lied.
Should we discuss matters over this tea that's being passed around?
I'm sure you did something.
That or I was networked with you when I last played in a phalla. All I know is I remember your name for some reason and you were top of the list. Regardless, my day one vote typically bounces around about 5 times before I fall asleep and leave it on a random person, so I wouldn't worry too much.
DRINK!
So, !Dac Vin I have known ya to be an evil bastah'd of old. An evil that does not rest.
VThornheart is an alien. He is completely ignorant of the ways things are done on Craggy Island and it's the only thing that makes any sense here.
!Retract all
!Vote VThornheart again for stereotypical Oirishness.
...
... what's everyone lookin' at?
... Are those my feet?
Arasaki for trying to expose the secret alien conspiracy.
3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
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(By the way, can someone please warn me when we get close-ish to close (although I think it's not even today? Maybe?). I'm very bad at time conversions. . . )
3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
Steam profile
Edit: or possibly 32, it is not altogether clear.
DRINK!
Edit: Oh. Your edit no longer makes it helpful.
3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
Steam profile