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Resume - Boring? or Really Boring?

FFFF Once Upon a TimeIn OaklandRegistered User regular
edited January 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
So there's a job I really want to get (if it pays enough), but I realized that I haven't updated my resume since around 2006 or so.

The job is for a Help Desk Coordinator. A couple of years ago I submitted a similarly formatted resume to this particular company before and was granted an interview. I think this updated version should do the trick, but any help would be appreciated. I can't help but feel it's way too verbose.

Spoilered for possibly too damn long...

Edit: There should be some tabs in doesn't like tabs, but they're there. Probably doesn't matter too much as I'm submitting it online anyway. Formatting always gets screwy with those.

FF on


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    kaliyamakaliyama Left to find less-moderated fora Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Does the spoiler keep this from being googlable? not that it really matters per se, but there's some random chance that someone searches and finds this and makes things weird for you? it seems petty, but i know other lab people at academy of art and other people that work there, so it's a small world indeed :P

    kaliyama on
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    FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I don't think there's anyone at academy of art who'll care enough to make any problems for me. At least, I hope not. Mostly it was spoilered for wall-o-text. I think google may still grab things in spoilers?

    Also, PM to you :)

    FF on
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    PaperPrittPaperPritt Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hullo and all that,

    You managed to merge your résumé with your cover letter! That's a Bad Thing. Just divide your CV into two main sections :

    1) Past experience - 2 or 3 short lines at most for each.

    2) Skills : What you can do, and how.

    Remove all the blocks of texts, reformat. Copy and past all that into your cover letter with a small intro about where you come from and a small conclusion about what you hope to do in the near-future-next 5 years.

    You have some good points but they need to be stressed out more! Thus..shorten everything and only bring up the most relevant parts. Otherwise they'll be drown in the otherwise good lines you wrote.

    Hope that helps,

    PaperPritt on
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    KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Also, cut down your sentences to the essential bits. Try not to use "and" so much. Combine more of your sentences. You start off a ton of your sentences with "I do... I am... I... I... I..." it gets tedious to read. Try to start out with your strongest words (verbs are good), and then work yourself in.
    I am proficient with virtually all Apple software and can also network Mac OS X computers with Windows, Linux, and UNIX computers. I am experienced in Apple Server software including Workgroup Manager, Server Admin, and Apple Remote Desktop. I have worked with many applications including Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign and Dreamweaver, FileMaker Pro, BBEdit, OpenOffice, and Microsoft Office. Presently, I am learning how to use languages including PHP, XHTML, Perl and Python and can code an HTML web page from scratch. I have experience with mail server software and video conferencing software. I am also an Apple Certified Desktop Technician and an Apple Certified Macintosh Technician.

    ^ Perfect example of "I... I... I..."

    Condense and pare down your writing.

    Also, get someone else to read it. Trusted work associates, friends, family, or basically anyone you can get to read it. The more the better.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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    tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Yeah, what PaperPritt said. Your resume should have bullet points of what you did, not a paragraph of text. Your cover letter should go into more depth about what you did/learned and how it applies to the position you are applying for.

    To give you an example:

    2007-Current Assistant Systems Administrator & MacHelp, Academy of Art University

    - Provided help-desk support for 25 academic and non-academic departments totaling over 400 computers.
    - Scheduled help-desk appointments, tracked and performed repairs, set up new machines, and advised external departments on future computer purchases
    - Helped to create a replacement ticket and client tracking database.
    - Managed multiple servers and databases, created new accounts for staff, students and faculty, and created deployment packages

    That's what it should look like for each of your jobs. Obviously you'll want to play with the language so you aren't using the same verbs (created) over and over again.

    tsmvengy on
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    EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Yeah, you don't have a resume, you have a short essay on your work experience.

    That's not inherently bad, mind, especially if you're submitting it online (where many companies simply let software sort based on words mentioned, so if you say you have HTML experience in a bullet point or in a 400 word essay, it says "we've got one!" and moves it along).

    Ultimately your resume is seen by a person, though, so having a separate cover letter and then an actual resume is ideal.

    If you want it to be snappy, don't do the job obit stuff. Separate your work into tasks and list those under the job, like tsmvengy said. Don't do

    Job Inc., 2002-2006. Desk Monkey
    My job here was to sit at my desk and behave. It was a good job and I felt that I learned a lot. But it was time to move on, and I feel that the job is in a better place now.

    What you should do is:

    Job Inc. 2002-2006. Desk Monkey
    -- Assisted other people daily
    -- Helped integrate new feeding system in lunchroom

    Make the key features of your past jobs stand out, to show that you both learned shit and that you actually were an asset to the job. If it was a bad job, don't pad, just be short.

    It's also useful to create separate sections for skills, personal aptitudes, etc. The cover letter should then be specific towards this specific job, referencing your resume to point out why you'd be a good fit.

    Many people (who have good resumes) actually have a modular resume, so they can swap elements quickly depending on the job they're applying for. For example, if I were to apply to a job tomorrow I would omit my first job, which sucked ass and taught me nothing. The type of job I would be applying for woudln't give a damn what crappy job I took in high school for some spending money, anyway -- it would care about my current skills and attributes.

    That's ultimately the trick -- to make your resume sound like you're talking about what you're going to do... without using the future tense ;D

    EggyToast on
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    VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Cut it down, this should be no longer than one page in Word. Your qualifications section is too damn long, the point of your resume is to show that info.

    This reads like a very unintersting book. Listen to the advice on bulleting.

    Your education section is gibberish. It should include dates attended (1/1/01-1/1/02), School name, location, and degree earned. If you are currently enrolled then list expected date of graduation, list your graduation date if you've got your degree.

    As for the cover letter you need to write, keep it short and sweet, only a few paragraohs.

    Oh and stage hand 10+ years ago in high school does not belong.

    VisionOfClarity on
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    tardcoretardcore Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I second dropping the stage hand thing as well as the High School you attended in the education section, UNLESS that high school is very well known for something and would otherwise be considered a plus worth mentioning that you attended.

    Also, instead of saying "Other Experience" change the word Other to Additional. To me, "other" sounds like "oh yeah, just some other meh stuff I did".

    tardcore on
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    FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Thanks for all the advise. I'm still editing but I'll post up a revised version a little later tonight.

    FF on
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