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My Roommate Eats Too Fucking Much
tarachi_mouse
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
It sounds petty and retarded, but I wouldn't ask for advice if this weren't a serious problem.
Thing is, we split the groceries, and I literally only get to eat (I calculated) up to an eighth or tenth of what we buy. This person eats three breakfasts a day and is awake more often than I am (I'm always up late, doin' them internets) and is home more than I am, so I suppose it makes sense, but it's fucking unfair because I reach in the fridge for that shit that I bought and it isn't there.
There are no boundaries. I even made all these chocolates to send down to my family for holiday gifts. There were something like 40+ of each type of chocolate, 3 types of chocolate. I now have 10 left. Total. Of either kind. Altogether. This needs to stop. How do I do make it stop, tactfully, with as little confrontation as possible?
Thing is, we split the groceries, and I literally only get to eat (I calculated) up to an eighth or tenth of what we buy. This person eats three breakfasts a day and is awake more often than I am (I'm always up late, doin' them internets) and is home more than I am, so I suppose it makes sense, but it's fucking unfair because I reach in the fridge for that shit that I bought and it isn't there.
There are no boundaries. I even made all these chocolates to send down to my family for holiday gifts. There were something like 40+ of each type of chocolate, 3 types of chocolate. I now have 10 left. Total. Of either kind. Altogether. This needs to stop. How do I do make it stop, tactfully, with as little confrontation as possible?
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we need to talk about sharing the groceries, I'd feel more comfortable if we didn't split the bill anymore and keep our food separate.
something like that, trying to avoid it or beating around the bush too much will just lead to complications
I've had annoying roommates, and I've let some really petty stuff fester for months and months until it developed into an intense hatred. Now I've learned to just quickly get these sort of things out there as soon as possible. The longer you wait the more bitter you'll get and the more you'll fret about confrontation and hurt feelings as possible.
Usually if you bring it up nicely (randomman's idea is perfect), he or she should get the hint without getting too offended. Then, divy up the cabinet and fridge space so you don't have to be that guy who labels all of the food.
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Another thing that can help is to do a little more cooking and meal planning and a little less buying of bachelor chow. Snack foods and packaged foods tend to go to the first hungry person, planned cooking tends to go off as planned and feed the house.
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I would confront him on this as soon as possible; the more you let this kind of behavior go on unchecked then the more he thinks its acceptable and will continue accordingly.
Yeah that was kinda out of line. Even if you didn't tell him there was obviously some reason you made those chocolates yet he failed to even ask and with all the tech a text isn't that hard.
Definitely talk to him. don't let this stew inside you. If anything I would start getting separate groceries. Depending on your kitchen setup its fairly easy. One shelf in the fridge each, one cabinet each. Split the cost of condiments and spices and such like salt and pepper that you both will use. Sounds like you won't have to worry about fighting over a drawer for fruits/vegetables. Share the meat drawer, its not that hard to remember what you bought. Label it if its a problem. When your done eating put your dishes in the dishwasher and when its full run it.
I think that covers what I did when I had to be a roomie for a month.
It wasn't that big of a deal, because we opted to just not buy shit together again, and generally keep to our own food and occasionally asking to borrow. But, while we did borrow sometimes every week or so(sometimes more often) one of us would make a communal meal that everyone was welcome to. That seemed to work out best. We bought our own food, and everything that was shared was freely given.
Also, when you are sharing groceries, it's one thing to eat the staple stuff i.e: eggs, meals, some snacks... But it seems to be going too far when you eat another man/woman's chocolate and take their booze. Also, something that you prepared specially(like the chocolate) it not fair game to eat without asking. It goes beyond rude.
Just start doing all of your stuff separately, it will solve your hard feelings. Get your own space for your food so you don't have to label what's in the cabinets. If you still want to go in for shared meals, I would do as someone above suggested only do it for dinner since your schedules are different.
TL;DR
Tell your stoner roommate he needs to get his own munchies, or else you'll just help yourself to almost all of his weed(even if you don't use it, I'm sure you could give it away or dump it down the toilet at least.)
Three breakfasts? This is what you get for moving in with a fucking hobbit.
Only buy staples together and keep those inside the fridge door. Establish separate shelf-space in the fridge and pantry and separate cupboards for dry- and canned-goods. Feel free to give him more shelf-space to accomodate his voracious appetite when he sits down to eat his elevenses, just make sure it's clear what is his and what is off-limits.
This is why shopping separately is only half the solution: you also need separate storage spaces. Respecting property in common spaces isn't something you should necessarily expect 100% of the time between roommates, but if you can't trust someone to respect your personal stuff in your personal space, someone needs to GTFO.
Don't necessarily need separate storage space for each of you. I've got two roommates and all of us do our own shopping, and keep all the food in the same fridge. We each know who's food is who's, and on the off chance someone eats someone else's food we just straight up say "What the fuck, you ate *x* and it was mine." Each time it's happened the person at fault went out and re-bought the same item to pay us back and settle the debt.
I'd think it would be pretty bad if you lived with people who you had to hide food/items from so they wouldn't eat/steal them. Then it just comes down to finding new people to live with.
When I had roommates, we used to split it up. One guy kept buying expensive stuff because his parents paid his portion. As college students, we couldn't afford it. We kept bugging him to stop it or at least agree to stop splitting the cost of food, but he always said he would stop, then never did. So one day the other roommate and I sat down and ate all the expensive food he kept buying, along with pretty much everything else in the house. That did the trick.
Yeah, that was uncool. You need to sit down and talk about boundaries. As in, if he didn't make it, he asks you if he can eat it.
In our shared house of 4, we each buy our own groceries, even down to things like bread/milk/eggs, but we are all pretty laid back and have a policy of "if you need a splash of milk for tea/coffee, or a piece of bread or two for a sandwich", then we just ask each other, or in cases where someone is not there to ask, it's acceptable between us to take the odd slice of bread etc.
As others have said, you have to start buying your own groceries. If you have problems with confronting your room-mate about this, then just use the handy excuse of "i'm starting a new diet of healthy eating on a budget" and state the need to buy your own stuff.
As for the room-mate eating your chocolates... did you actually say they were gifts and weren't up for grabs? This sort of thing I guess would be avoided if your room-mate knew you guys weren't sharing food any longer...
Seriously! Even if he didn't know they were for gifts, who eats . . . *checks OP and calculates* . . . OVER A HUNDRED chocolates that someone else made? Leaving only 10? WTF??
I would have a talk with him on two things, first that you aren't sharing groceries with him anymore and second that he has to start respecting some boundaries.
And don't room with fat asses in the future. Fat people suck.
I mean, its not like you are living with your parents and your mom goes and does groceries every week for the family. You are independent people who happen to live together.
I've had roommates eat my food before and depending on the magnitude of what they eat I either don't care (but let them know I noticed) or can go up to "apeshit" level angry. Especially with meat, you dont steal someone's meat.
I was very poor, and could barely afford to eat every day. My school had assigned housing, 4 people to an apartment. Three of us went grocery shopping together and split the cost 3 ways. The forth guy was on a totally opposite schedule to us, so we wouldn't see him often. Our agreement with him was that we could eat his stuff and he could eat our stuff, he did his own shopping.
Problem: This guy would raid our food and eat huge quatities of stuff. If he was going to make a sandwhich, it often involved 3 or 4 slices of bread. WTF? We were like, wow, I guess we didn't realize the sharing would be so cut-throat. No guilt eating all his stuff. Well then he started not buying much stuff at all, then we started not buying as much and going out to eat more, storing leftovers in the fridge to maximize each meal. Well then our leftovers started to disappear! Half a cheeseburger or a partially eaten soft taco. Who the hell would do that? I'd get a large coke whenever we went out, then just store it in the fridge and sip on it for a few days, it soon became evident that someone else was sipping on it too.
Finally one day after we went to Taco Bell for lunch, I put my large soda and a half eaten chalupa in the fridge before school (night classes) planning on eating the rest after school. When I returned home, the chalupa had a few more bites out of it, and my soda was half gone. I had enough at that point, not only was this ridiculous, but I couldn't afford to feed me and some other guy. I opened the cupboard and found that all we had was some vinegar and some salt. I took them both and liberally added them to my own soda, then went to bed. Never had any missing food after that.
Lol, wow. He can't call you on it without admitting to stealing and he learned not to do it all at the same time. Before that, would you have considered eachother friends? If so, were you guys friends afterwords? How did he react to that?
Shit is never going to happen if you try and do it like that.
Tell him to his face this is going to stop.
Then buy separately.
Satans..... hints.....
It sounds like the simple fact of the matter is that he is both home more, and eats more, than you. In that circumstance, and even split of the bill will never be fair. It would be very hard to agree on a fair split i would say, as well. I wouldnt even go down that road at all.
Better off just going with a strict 'Buy and use only your own food' policy.
My feeling is that if someone doesnt just automatically take only their fair share, and feels free to eat as much as they want simply because nobody said otherwise, then they arent going to be trustworthy under any type of honor-based system.
No, I barely knew the guy. We were assigned to live together at random by the school, and since he had a schedule opposite to my own, we only saw each other in passing or on holidays. Basically we both went on pretending nothing ever happened, haha. I wish I could have seen his face though.
It's usually not a good idea to do this with roomates. Even if you talk with him, and come to an agreement, you'll never be able to change his own eating habits, and shouldn't want to. Just feed yourself.
Anyway, you NEED to talk to him. Say "Hey dude, I'm not rich, you're eating all my food. I think we should completely split out food apart, maybe you could even get a mini fridge for all your stuff. But seriously, it's gotta stop, you eat well over your half."
Have him buy his own stuff: solved.
Edit: If he takes it offensively he's a total douchebag.
Also, our current roommates are awesome. We both equally buy food for eachother, split the food, it's everybody's food. They buy a good portion and so do we. It works out because they're not greedy fucking pigs and understand that they're not allowed to just live off of us.
Say "I don't want to joint shop for foods anymore". You don't have to justify it, but at best you can say that your respective diets clearly don't match up. Just make it clear, nicely, that you'll be buying your own food and that it is off limits from now on.