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Pranksters or Government Cover Up

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    Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Bloods End on
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    My zombie plan is as follows:

    Cry like a little bitch

    Me Too! on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    The thing that sucks about a major zombie outbreak is that the roads get clogged with dead cars, thus fucking up any plans to mod-out a vehicle and go on a coast-to-coast zombicide spree. This is sad because I would want to form a rescue squad using a fire station's ladder truck to get the uninfected folks off of roofs.

    Corporate buildings that have those huge, multi-floored lobbies would be great to utilize as well, since once you block up the stair-wells, the first level becomes a killing floor for anyone on the upper levels with a firearm. Choosing one of these places that already has heavy security features would make things even easier to keep locked-down.
    just keep tabs on where every monster truck is at any given moment

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    Also, Thriller dance

    Me Too! on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    The thing that sucks about a major zombie outbreak is that the roads get clogged with dead cars, thus fucking up any plans to mod-out a vehicle and go on a coast-to-coast zombicide spree. This is sad because I would want to form a rescue squad using a fire station's ladder truck to get the uninfected folks off of roofs.

    Corporate buildings that have those huge, multi-floored lobbies would be great to utilize as well, since once you block up the stair-wells, the first level becomes a killing floor for anyone on the upper levels with a firearm. Choosing one of these places that already has heavy security features would make things even easier to keep locked-down.
    just keep tabs on where every monster truck is at any given moment

    The closest monster trucks I know of are in Wildwood, N.J.

    That is too far away, even though one is a sweet-ass, police-car-themed ride with flashing lights.

    TankHammer on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    also remember to avoid the military at all times, they'll fuck you just as hard

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    So do you have a plan in place for when the zombie apocalypse goes down?

    I have contingency plans that would put a team of SEALs to shame. Because I like to go camping, hiking and hunting, I also have an inordinate amount of woodscraft locked away in my brain.

    Ok, new plan for me. Eat Darth's brain and gain his knowledge. Or maybe I should just kidnap him because I don't think I have the muscles to pull any of his super secret plans off.

    Sweetheart, I already told you that your basic medical knowledge is a priority for me; if you have what it takes to get through nursing school, you have a place on the team.

    Dr. F? The ability to adapt, learn and stay flexible are the most important tools you need; everything else is icing.

    Tank, cars run out of gas; legs don't. When the undead rise, holing up during the day and moving at night are your best bets.

    Darth Waiter on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Man you still need to occasionally run some zombies over, darth, you just switch to a new vehicle when you run out.

    or convoy that shit

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2009
    Haha! "All My Sons, moving and storage"

    Szechuanosaurus on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Darth Waiter's Zombie Survival Tips

    1.Discretion is the better half of valor; dying with noble intent is really cute and all, but you're still dead.

    2.Water and food should be procured at every available opportunity; eat and drink as much as you find, but rotate your foodstuffs to comsume the most perishable things first.

    3.Bathing, while essential for hygiene, should not use more water than absolutely necessary. Antiseptic soap can be improvised from wood ash, pine resin and horseradish root.

    4.Guns are great; use them sparingly unless you are sitting on more ammo than you know what to do with. Also remember that ammunition goes bad just like food.

    5.Stay away from open spaces; if you have to cross an open space, stay low. If you can't stay low, move fast. If you can't do either, backtrack and find another route.

    6.Stay away from major areas of traffic congestion; this is a no-brainer.

    7.If you have a cabin in the woods, stay there for at least a month.

    8.Remember how the Old West settlers built houses out of sod? It took time, but they did it with relatively low levels of technology. You can too.

    9.Time is your best friend and worst enemy; if you have time, fill it with tasks that improve your situation and tools. If you don't have enough, organize your day to make time for all of your tasks.

    10.There are five life-saving steps, the last four of which are: START the breathing, STOP the bleeding, PROTECT the wound, TREAT for shock. The first and most important life-saving step, applicable in all situations is this: CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

    Darth Waiter on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    We were sitting on the couch the other day, just watching some show on discovery channel when Chelsea turns to me and says:

    "I think your apartment building would make an excellent stronghold against a class 3 zombie outbreak."


    If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is.

    gotta worry about those stairs near the elevator

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2009
    my plan in the event of a zombie outbreak is both simple and foolproof


    join the zombie horde

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    my plan in the event of a zombie outbreak is both simple and foolproof


    join the zombie horde

    :^:

    I hear its not so bad over there.

    Sticks on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    i really think the tv station i work at is a great place to hold up in case of a zombie outbreak

    the upstairs is guarded by large, locked doors

    there are cots and food and water in case of an emergency and a crew needs to be on the air 24/7

    there is a machine shop and garage

    there is a large bay door on the second floor that looks out over the alley, it also has a winch and tackle

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2009
    you get to eat for free!

    a veritable brain buffet!

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    We were sitting on the couch the other day, just watching some show on discovery channel when Chelsea turns to me and says:

    "I think your apartment building would make an excellent stronghold against a class 3 zombie outbreak."


    If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is.

    gotta worry about those stairs near the elevator

    Nope.

    From street level to get to the first flight of those stairs you have to go through a locked steel door. If you manage to get through that there is another locked fire door on the first floor. If you manage to get through that there is yet another locked fired door that leads to my floor.

    On the other end of the building is another flight of stairs, these are wood and can be taken out. However, if you don't have time to take them out there is another pair of heavy steel doors before you make it to my hall.

    DrZiplock on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    We were sitting on the couch the other day, just watching some show on discovery channel when Chelsea turns to me and says:

    "I think your apartment building would make an excellent stronghold against a class 3 zombie outbreak."


    If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is.

    gotta worry about those stairs near the elevator

    Nope.

    From street level to get to the first flight of those stairs you have to go through a locked steel door. If you manage to get through that there is another locked fire door on the first floor. If you manage to get through that there is yet another locked fired door that leads to my floor.

    On the other end of the building is another flight of stairs, these are wood and can be taken out. However, if you don't have time to take them out there is another pair of heavy steel doors before you make it to my hall.

    i didnt look out your windows

    what is the situation out there?

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    tallgeezetallgeeze Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    So when the zombies do rise up from Austin(all cool shit happens there for some reason) how long until people take it seriously?

    tallgeeze on
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    MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    The Zombies are only the first step - they are the elementals, like the weather.

    Raiders are the biggest threat.

    MagicPrime on
    BNet • magicprime#1430 | PSN/Steam • MagicPrime | Origin • FireSideWizard
    Critical Failures - Havenhold CampaignAugust St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Holy Shit, you guys. This is an abbreviated quote from an e-mail that my mom just sent me.
    From what I gathered in my conversations with him in the last couple months, your Aunt nor Cousin – none of them – nor any of Grandma's kids are interested in any of the weapons or re-loading equipment from McAllen. Grandpa has indicated that I will be receiving most of them if he doesn’t sell them before hand. So, that’s something to think about isn’t it…

    Zombie Survival at my place; I'll have access to a full machine shop plus reloading equipment and over fifty firearms and a log cabin in the hill country in Central West Texas (excellent white tail and boar hunting).

    WE'RE GOING TO LIVE.

    Darth Waiter on
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    We were sitting on the couch the other day, just watching some show on discovery channel when Chelsea turns to me and says:

    "I think your apartment building would make an excellent stronghold against a class 3 zombie outbreak."


    If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is.

    gotta worry about those stairs near the elevator

    Nope.

    From street level to get to the first flight of those stairs you have to go through a locked steel door. If you manage to get through that there is another locked fire door on the first floor. If you manage to get through that there is yet another locked fired door that leads to my floor.

    On the other end of the building is another flight of stairs, these are wood and can be taken out. However, if you don't have time to take them out there is another pair of heavy steel doors before you make it to my hall.

    i didnt look out your windows

    what is the situation out there?

    Well, large windows, which is a problem.

    However, i have a rooftop right out both of them. I can get to fire escapes by heading out them but they're 2-3 stories off the street depending on which direction you head.

    The pro AND con is that I can get to the rooftops of a few other buildings by heading out my own windows.

    DrZiplock on
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Holy Shit, you guys. This is an abbreviated quote from an e-mail that my mom just sent me.
    From what I gathered in my conversations with him in the last couple months, your Aunt nor Cousin – none of them – nor any of Grandma's kids are interested in any of the weapons or re-loading equipment from McAllen. Grandpa has indicated that I will be receiving most of them if he doesn’t sell them before hand. So, that’s something to think about isn’t it…
    Zombie Survival at my place; I'll have access to a full machine shop plus reloading equipment and over fifty firearms and a log cabin in the hill country in Central West Texas (excellent white tail and boar hunting).

    WE'RE GOING TO LIVE.

    I'm pretty solid at woods craft and a crack shot.

    I'm booking an open ended ticket for your place as we speak.

    DrZiplock on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    We were sitting on the couch the other day, just watching some show on discovery channel when Chelsea turns to me and says:

    "I think your apartment building would make an excellent stronghold against a class 3 zombie outbreak."


    If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is.

    gotta worry about those stairs near the elevator

    Nope.

    From street level to get to the first flight of those stairs you have to go through a locked steel door. If you manage to get through that there is another locked fire door on the first floor. If you manage to get through that there is yet another locked fired door that leads to my floor.

    On the other end of the building is another flight of stairs, these are wood and can be taken out. However, if you don't have time to take them out there is another pair of heavy steel doors before you make it to my hall.

    i didnt look out your windows

    what is the situation out there?

    Well, large windows, which is a problem.

    However, i have a rooftop right out both of them. I can get to fire escapes by heading out them but they're 2-3 stories off the street depending on which direction you head.

    The pro AND con is that I can get to the rooftops of a few other buildings by heading out my own windows.

    meh not bad

    what is your proximity to Ving Rhames?

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Holy Shit, you guys. This is an abbreviated quote from an e-mail that my mom just sent me.
    From what I gathered in my conversations with him in the last couple months, your Aunt nor Cousin – none of them – nor any of Grandma's kids are interested in any of the weapons or re-loading equipment from McAllen. Grandpa has indicated that I will be receiving most of them if he doesn’t sell them before hand. So, that’s something to think about isn’t it…
    Zombie Survival at my place; I'll have access to a full machine shop plus reloading equipment and over fifty firearms and a log cabin in the hill country in Central West Texas (excellent white tail and boar hunting).

    WE'RE GOING TO LIVE.

    I'm pretty solid at woods craft and a crack shot.

    I'm booking an open ended ticket for your place as we speak.

    Land yourself anywhere in the vicinity of Kerrville, Texas and the cabin is about sixty miles South-Southwest of that.

    Darth Waiter on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    The Zombies are only the first step - they are the elementals, like the weather.

    Raiders are the biggest threat.

    hey duder

    what is the weather like up there in Pburg?

    im supposed to drive past there today and i dont want it to be too shitty

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    We were sitting on the couch the other day, just watching some show on discovery channel when Chelsea turns to me and says:

    "I think your apartment building would make an excellent stronghold against a class 3 zombie outbreak."


    If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is.

    gotta worry about those stairs near the elevator

    Nope.

    From street level to get to the first flight of those stairs you have to go through a locked steel door. If you manage to get through that there is another locked fire door on the first floor. If you manage to get through that there is yet another locked fired door that leads to my floor.

    On the other end of the building is another flight of stairs, these are wood and can be taken out. However, if you don't have time to take them out there is another pair of heavy steel doors before you make it to my hall.

    i didnt look out your windows

    what is the situation out there?

    Well, large windows, which is a problem.

    However, i have a rooftop right out both of them. I can get to fire escapes by heading out them but they're 2-3 stories off the street depending on which direction you head.

    The pro AND con is that I can get to the rooftops of a few other buildings by heading out my own windows.

    meh not bad

    what is your proximity to Ving Rhames?

    I live next to the largest concentration of Amish in the country. I don't need Ving Rhames, I have friends whose people have been living on the technological fringe of civilization FOR CENTURIES.

    DrZiplock on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    amish people dont have guns though do they?

    how will they fight the horde?

    raise a barn around them?

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    You are all fools. Repent your evil, non-brain-eating, ways and join the horde. Sure you smell a little, and talk all mmmmhhhbrrrrraaaaaaiins, but on the plus side, Tuesdays is pot-luck night at the mall.

    Sticks on
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    tallgeezetallgeeze Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    But will the Amish accept guns? I know they like their pitchforks and fire, but what is their stance on guns?

    Edit: cracked beat me to it.

    tallgeeze on
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    cyannidecyannide Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    amish people dont have guns though do they?

    how will they fight the horde?

    raise a barn around them?

    LOL

    I hear they can raise one pretty quick, and zombies move pretty slow, so it may work.

    cyannide on
    Twitter me @cyannide
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    amish people dont have guns though do they?

    how will they fight the horde?

    raise a barn around them?

    They have them yes, but they are pacifists. Also religious. So in the name of our Lord I'm pretty sure they'd take up arms.

    Also, a pitchfork to the head is effective and these are people who are in better physical shape than any of us could hope to be.

    Stores of jarred and canned goods for year, no need for electricity, relative seclusion, warm quilts...

    It's perfect.

    DrZiplock on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    i'm on a heavily populated island

    i'm pretty much fucked

    Faricazy on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Faricazy wrote: »
    i'm on a heavily populated island

    i'm pretty much fucked

    Get on a boat and wait it out.

    Darth Waiter on
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Darth, I am also a skilled sailor in case things on land go pear shaped.

    We could last for decades.

    DrZiplock on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Faricazy wrote: »
    i'm on a heavily populated island

    i'm pretty much fucked

    Get on a boat and wait it out.
    people in brooklyn don't have boats

    Faricazy on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'm designing a hybrid armored truck that scoops up zombies, dumps them safely into the back with an industrial chipper-shredder and grinds them into zombie paste. This way we drive around and remove the hordes of zombies. Sure, we may need some bait to get them to gather up in wide areas like parking lots or airports, but it will be worth it.

    Then we incinerate the zombie waste. After a few months, we salt the earth and rebuild.

    Hunter on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm designing a hybrid armored truck that scoops up zombies, dumps them safely into the back with an industrial chipper-shredder and grinds them into zombie paste. This way we drive around and remove the hordes of zombies. Sure, we may need some bait to get them to gather up in wide areas like parking lots or airports, but it will be worth it.

    Then we incinerate the zombie waste. After a few months, we salt the earth and rebuild.
    dibs on driving

    Faricazy on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm designing a hybrid armored truck that scoops up zombies, dumps them safely into the back with an industrial chipper-shredder and grinds them into zombie paste. This way we drive around and remove the hordes of zombies. Sure, we may need some bait to get them to gather up in wide areas like parking lots or airports, but it will be worth it.

    Then we incinerate the zombie waste. After a few months, we salt the earth and rebuild.
    why not just drive a combine?

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    cyannidecyannide Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'm in Canada, I'm hoping the cold and snow and ice, and endless acres of forest between towns will stop them, or at least slow them down.

    Or else, I know of a cabin secluded in the woods.

    cyannide on
    Twitter me @cyannide
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm designing a hybrid armored truck that scoops up zombies, dumps them safely into the back with an industrial chipper-shredder and grinds them into zombie paste. This way we drive around and remove the hordes of zombies. Sure, we may need some bait to get them to gather up in wide areas like parking lots or airports, but it will be worth it.

    Then we incinerate the zombie waste. After a few months, we salt the earth and rebuild.
    why not just drive a combine?

    I want something with more feeling. With spikes, gun turrets, and perhaps chainsaw bayonets on the front.

    Hunter on
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