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Pranksters or Government Cover Up

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    PaPaPaPa Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I was packed in to a small car with several friends once, completely lost on some rural Scottish back roads. There was no phone coverage, the roads were in such poor condition that we couldn't go above 10 mph without gouging out the bottom of the car, it had just started raining and it was getting dark.

    "This would be a terrible time for a zombie attack," I said.

    You could smell the fear.

    PaPa on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm designing a hybrid armored truck that scoops up zombies, dumps them safely into the back with an industrial chipper-shredder and grinds them into zombie paste. This way we drive around and remove the hordes of zombies. Sure, we may need some bait to get them to gather up in wide areas like parking lots or airports, but it will be worth it.

    Then we incinerate the zombie waste. After a few months, we salt the earth and rebuild.
    why not just drive a combine?

    I want something with more feeling. With spikes, gun turrets, and perhaps chainsaw bayonets on the front.

    im gettin all hot and bothered over here

    keep talking im almost done

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    apparently there is such a thing as combine demolition derby

    the youtube videos are incredibly boring

    Faricazy on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Oh hey I been jonesin' for a zombie thread

    Grey Ghost on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Faricazy wrote: »
    apparently there is such a thing as combine demolition derby

    the youtube videos are incredibly boring

    I HAVE BEEN TO ONE OF THESE

    they would have to run from all the way across the track to get a decent lick on each other

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    cyannidecyannide Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I LOVE zombies.

    cyannide on
    Twitter me @cyannide
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Darth, I am also a skilled sailor in case things on land go pear shaped.

    We could last for decades.

    The only thing we'd need to do is swing by an all-girls Catholic school, preferably a university, and pick up some chicks. Can't repopulate without 'em. Also, I find that females tend to be more adaptable to learning survival techniques. By way of hubris, most men tend to be fairly cocky about their knowledge base.

    Darth Waiter on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Darth, I am also a skilled sailor in case things on land go pear shaped.

    We could last for decades.

    The only thing we'd need to do is swing by an all-girls Catholic school, preferably a university, and pick up some chicks. Can't repopulate without 'em. Also, I find that females tend to be more adaptable to learning survival techniques. By way of hubris, most men tend to be fairly cocky about their knowledge base.

    sounds like you guys need a whacky sidekick on this boat

    i humbly volunteer my services

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    bongibongi regular
    edited January 2009
    I'm listening to The Planets suite for the first time since I was like seven and it is still pretty rad

    bongi on
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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    If zombies attacked right now I'd be safe for another month or so. Gives me time to prepare.

    Bucketman on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm designing a hybrid armored truck that scoops up zombies, dumps them safely into the back with an industrial chipper-shredder and grinds them into zombie paste. This way we drive around and remove the hordes of zombies. Sure, we may need some bait to get them to gather up in wide areas like parking lots or airports, but it will be worth it.

    Then we incinerate the zombie waste. After a few months, we salt the earth and rebuild.
    why not just drive a combine?

    I want something with more feeling. With spikes, gun turrets, and perhaps chainsaw bayonets on the front.

    im gettin all hot and bothered over here

    keep talking im almost done

    Can I get a seat on the back with a mounted M249?

    "You just lead them a little less!" :D

    Also I laud the achievement of whoever engineered this attack, because I wasn't there.

    I might have totally lost it had I been driving and seen it.

    MrMonroe on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    sounds like you guys need a whacky sidekick on this boat

    i humbly volunteer my services

    Plucky comic relief is always a plus; just don't go getting yourself into too much trouble.

    Darth Waiter on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    sounds like you guys need a whacky sidekick on this boat

    i humbly volunteer my services

    Plucky comic relief is always a plus; just don't go getting yourself into too much trouble.

    as long as we can bring along a black guy too so at least im not the absolute first one to die

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    sounds like you guys need a whacky sidekick on this boat

    i humbly volunteer my services

    Plucky comic relief is always a plus; just don't go getting yourself into too much trouble.

    Sounds like you guys need an easily expendable nervous guy. I don't mind that I'm cannon fodder, so long as I get a few days of awesome on the Love Boat and die how I was born: Naked and strapped down with explosives.

    Bucketman on
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    bongibongi regular
    edited January 2009
    Do you need a gay one

    bongi on
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    cyannidecyannide Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    All I can offer is geekiness and knowledge of zombies. Plus, I'm Canadian, so I'm sure that's a handicap.

    cyannide on
    Twitter me @cyannide
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I guess they'll need someone to cook and clean while all those catholic schoolgirls are babymakin.

    Ruckus on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    bongi wrote: »
    Do you need a gay one

    pfft

    but where will we find one of those

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    bongi wrote: »
    Do you need a gay one

    You always need a gay one.

    Darth Waiter on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    sounds like you guys need a whacky sidekick on this boat

    i humbly volunteer my services

    Plucky comic relief is always a plus; just don't go getting yourself into too much trouble.
    look, you guys are going to need some racial diversity so that the gene pool doesn't get all stale.

    you have to bring me along to help with that particular problem. also I don't eat much, am a good shot and have excellent driving reflexes.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    look, you guys are going to need some racial diversity so that the gene pool doesn't get all stale.

    Come one, come all.

    Darth Waiter on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    The place where I work is an old building with only 3 viable points of entry (no windows on the first floor) and two of those can be firmly secured by enormous, heavy doors that roll on tracks for easy-closing. The third door has a massive, 3-piece dead-bolt and a tiny window. It looks like it belongs in a prison.

    The up-side is that there's plenty of room for people and storage and even a metal fire-door on the second floor for a second tier of defense.

    The down-side is that there's no food so we'd have to run a supply-raid on the super-market on the other side of the turnpike.

    TankHammer on
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    Am I allowed on the boat

    I figure you guys could throw me to the zombies first so I guess I'm not totally useless

    Me Too! on
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    cyannidecyannide Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I don't have a passport, is one required in times of zombie attacks? Or can I just sneak across and get on the boat?

    cyannide on
    Twitter me @cyannide
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    vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I offer my survival training and the ability to bring calm in times of panic. Because it's either I join up with you guys or I end up leading a group of bandits.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Zip, are you skipper of the S/V SE++? I'll do bow!

    Usagi on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I would be a great addition to any zombie-fighting force. I'm a pretty big dude with a good amount of natural strength, I keep a remarkably-cool head in panic situations and I have a little experience with both firearms and bow-and-arrow.

    I can also carry very heavy things and crack some good jokes to keep up morale.

    TankHammer on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    The down-side is that there's no food so we'd have to run a supply-raid on the super-market on the other side of the turnpike.

    If you've ever done a panty-raid, you can do a supply-raid.

    Wiggin, you can come, but the first time you don't pull your weight, I'm tossing you into the sea as shark chum.

    Darth Waiter on
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    The down-side is that there's no food so we'd have to run a supply-raid on the super-market on the other side of the turnpike.

    If you've ever done a panty-raid, you can do a supply-raid.

    Wiggin, you can come, but the first time you don't pull your weight, I'm tossing you into the sea as shark chum.

    Ha

    Shark rodeo, first place, three years running

    Bitch

    Me Too! on
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    vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Oh, and I swing a mean machete.

    Plus I have long studied the zombies and can perfectly imitate each of their calls, thus giving us an immeasurable advantage over the other survivors.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    Shark Rodeo is vaguely like regular rodeo except when you fall off you get eaten

    Me Too! on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    First things first: if you don't know how to find, collect and distill water, find out how.

    Darth Waiter on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    First things first: if you don't know how to find, collect and distill water, find out how.
    you just need a dowsing rod and some prayer, right?

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Marathon wrote: »
    "The city isn't laughing, it's moaning and slowly shuffling towards pressing charges on the youths and their delicious brains."

    And the win!

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    First things first: if you don't know how to find, collect and distill water, find out how.
    you just need a dowsing rod and some prayer, right?

    Look, if you can't find water, figure out how to distill booze. We'll be able to use it to trade with other surviving communities. It's also a great way to loosen up after a long day of zombie whackin'.

    Darth Waiter on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    My only contribution would be that I am the dude who will run a crazy suicide mission (i.e. anything involving explosives, or vehicles, or vehicles loaded with explosives) if you get me drunk enough

    Grey Ghost on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    First things first: if you don't know how to find, collect and distill water, find out how.

    I can do that, especially on a boat.

    I was a Boy Scout!

    MrMonroe on
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    SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I think I'm pretty well set for a zombie invasion, if I can react quickly enough. If I can get a small amount of food and some guns(which the family has in town) and get out of the city limits before the roads go to hell, I'm good to go. There are enough roads out west that I can probably avoid horrible traffic jams, and my destination would be largely devoid of human life so we'd probably only get the occasional stray zombie to shoot.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    First things first: if you don't know how to find, collect and distill water, find out how.
    you just need a dowsing rod and some prayer, right?

    Look, if you can't find water, figure out how to distill booze. We'll be able to use it to trade with other surviving communities. It's also a great way to loosen up after a long day of zombie whackin'.
    wait, are we on a ship yet or still on the land, I don't imagine we'd run into many water-walking zombies.

    i mean there's only been one in recorded history

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    wait, are we on a ship yet or still on the land

    It's important to be flexible, so both really need to be in your contingency plans.

    Darth Waiter on
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