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[Mini-Phalla] Party Games - RESULT
Posts
!Zot
Wheeee!
oh that's right I guess you did
your move, village
or are you saying you're
linked with someone
of course
I didn't give you a reason to think either way
maybe you should have thought of that, huh
D'awww, that's so CUTE! Wait. I don't even know what that word means. But this party's still better than the man-village. Not as good as the jungle, though.
gggrrudge
And so they went about their business. The business of parting.
One party goer was getting into things a little bit too much. You see Doxa was running around, taking her top off all the time, telling everyone they looked fabulous and offering her lady-garden to anyone that would come near.
"I'll even let you film me, if you promise not to put it on the internet" said Doxa with a cheeky little wink.
Minutes later Doxa was found dead, decapitated, two swords laying by her side, and the words: 'To right a wrong' daubed in her blood on the wall.
"Now listen, I know that you all think I'm a bad guy - but I just wanted my things. My belongings. My memories. Remember me in Naked Gun? Wasn't I great?! I'm so glad you got me out of jail, just for tonight, so I could come to this party" said Kime
Abotkin said nothing in return.
"Now, did I ever tell you about the time I didn't kill my wife?"
"For fuck's sake shut up. Seriously. You're not allowed to talk any more. Get the fuck out. You're banned. You're not even funny" said abotkin.
Many saw this little exchange, many wondered where this unprovoked aggression had come from? Was abotkin dangerous? They all knew Kime had a bit of a history - would he disappear off for five minutes to fetch a 'surprise' for abotkin that he could deliver when he definitely wasn't anywhere near kime whatsoever?
No one saw the real result coming.
Minutes later, Kime and abotkin were both found dead - they'd had the Greatest Hits of Barry Manilow pumped into their ears on constant loop, at an un-natural volume, destroying their sanity, and then killing them outright.
"Looks like we made it" said one of the baddies, to another.
Three people dead, and no baddies found. Looks like it was time for the vote.
It was close, but Cold Salmon and Hatred came out on top.
"Looks like we're going to have to torture you"
screamed TheLawninator
"What the hell?"
"Fuck it. Let's torture them both"
Both TheLawninator and Cold Salmon and Hatred failed to survive the torture process.
It Burns was sitting there, in his favourite chair, playing with his chaste-silver knives, watching the situation unfolding - planning what to do from here.
"Do you mind if I come and sing and dance around you?" asked one party-goer.
"Piss off you fucking weird ginger freak" said It Burns.
The ginger freak was undeterred.
:whistle:Inside we both know whats been going on:whistle:
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
:whistle:We know the game and were gonna play it:whistle:
It Burns brandished his knife: "OUT, I SAY. OUT!"
The weird ginger freak left - but his dancing had not been in vain. No! You see, the baddies had tried to take down It Burns at that very instant - but, appalled and disgusted by a boy with te voice of a man, with the world's worst collection of polo-neck jumpers, they decided to abandon their plan. It Burns was safe.
Kime - Oj Simpson - Found Murdered
Abotkin - Cardboard Tube - Found Murdered
Doxa - Paris Hilton - Killed. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
Cold Salmon and Hatred - Gregory House, MD - Voted off
TheLawninator - Stephen Hawking - Couldn't bear to live without Zot
OoOoO
Hmmm.... I never would have thought House and Hawking would be connected like that.
fucking magikarp.
*Splash*
Also, thanks for saving my bacon.
In other news, Seer News Network reports !Witch Doctor as a party poooping douche pooping our party. This claim will be proven truth for when he dies his identity will be that of the Dark Knight. (You can go ahead and say "I'M BATMAN!!" Witch Doctor)
I don't even think I had an evolve mechanic.
A cell went missing in my spreadsheet, and everyone moved up one, so I fucked something up big style.
Luckily, it won't affect the game at all.
**********
Toxic Toys was NOT Stephen Hawking
The LAwninator was Stephen Hawking, and died in exactly the same way that I attributed to TT.
Thus, the narration should have said:
Kime - Oj Simpson - Found Murdered
Abotkin - Cardboard Tube - Found Murdered
Doxa - Paris Hilton - Killed. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
Cold Salmon and Hatred - Gregory House, MD - Voted off
TheLAwninator - Stephen Hawking - Couldn't bear to live without Zot
************
TT is still alive.
I'm sorry for this confusion.
Well, that wasn't very good - you lost your easy lay; a doctor to patch you up and the smartest man on the planet. And you let the admin of the boards die, so pretty soon there won't even be a....
*********
Let's keep playing while we still can! Vote as normal.
House!? There was a House!? He's my favorite!
It wasn't me! I'm innocent!
OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOO
3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
Steam profile
For shame Witchdoctor, you've let Gotham down.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
!WITCHDOCTOR WILL PAY FOR THIS
And we have a claimed vig in It Burns who seems to be at least not on the baddies team (since they targeted him and he was protected), but who didn't bother to confirm himself by making and calling a kill.
Or did I miss you actually doing something with those knives?
Still, !Witchdoctor. Let's test your seer.
Do we know the order of actions? Which is to say, does the vote trickle down?
Don't you people know 70% of all attacks come from the rear? Be alert at all times!
Woah, woah woah hold the phone. I would check my sources if I were you.
I may not have posted that much material to go on, but it doesn't necessarily take a genius to figure out that I'm Batman. For instance: enlightenedbum is Tom Cruise! Wildcat is Tyler Durden! I really don't know who the hell Kay is. I, too, can make a claim that any of them are party crashers.
Figuring this out does not make me a seer.
But the fact remains that you, despite your claims of being a vigilante, did not call your kill tonight, and the village has absolutely no reason to believe you are who you say you are. The reason I didn't call the kill on Doxa was because it's completely fine with me to have the bad guys think someone else is the vig, and waste their time trying to kill him.
Now you've convinced me that you're part of the Mafia, and that their attempted kill on you was just a gamble that the guard, without any better targets, would save you from being tortured tonight. Why the fuck else would anyone claim to be the vig that early in the game without any provocation? And now you can claim to be a network head without needing any proof. Wow, that's really convenient. Hell, that means you wouldn't even need the seer to contact you. If we did actually have a seer that dumb, it'd just be icing on the cake for the bad guys.
It was a good try, !It Burns, but the Mafia didn't count on the person you accused of actually being the vigilante, did you?