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The Great Outdoor Phalla! GAME OVER! MacGuffin, "The Human Plot Device," wins!

Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchscritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
edited February 2009 in Debate and/or Discourse
3 DAYS! 3 ACRES! 3 THOUSAND MEN!
WATCH MAN DESTROY MAN AT THE 2009 GREAT OUTDOOR PHALLA


GaG.png
Hey there, Barry heads! This is Barry King, blogging from outside the Great Outdoor Phalla! Seeing as my blog's so bleedin' funny, the organizers have agreed to let me in, so this year I'll be able to supply you with all the latest and greatest Phalla news as it's happening! I'm here with my best mate, Feckless Ted Cob, and he's looking around for someone to talk about Arsenal with.

It's looking to be a great Phalla this year. Why, just look at all the great names that are on the roster!

1. One Thousand "Raging" Dicks
2. enlightened "Gonna make you piss through your eyesockets" bum
3. Gosling "of the Sonuvabitch Clan"
4. Jason "Full of Fury" Todd
5. Ohtsam "who will kick your ass so hard you don't even know"
6. Malkor "the merciless man"
7. Astra "Fuck Your Bullshit" Phobia
8. Casual "Ass-Kicker" Eddy
9. Ludious "who has beaten several men to death"
10. HamHam "Eats his Opponents" J
11. The "Big Burly Fucking" Lawinator
12. PRËTËNTIÖüS "who will kill you with umlauts"
13. Power "Gonna Rape your Grandma" Puppies
14. "Holy" JebusUD
15. Zek, "The Man that Might Kill You"
16. LewieP's "Consumed her son to gain his courage" Mummy
17. gundam "you should see what happened to the first 469" 470
18. oldman "Has mauled 3 generations of assholes" ken
19. Oski "who has three testicles"
20. Mike "I don't need a fuckin' nickname" Danger
21. The "the" roo
22. Element "Kickassium" Brian
23. evil "Fought his Way Out of the Womb" bob
24. behemoth, "The Man With a Larger Body Than You"
25. DasUber "Stronger Than His Father" Edward
26. MacGuffin, "The Human Plot Device"
27. FunkyWalt "Destroy a Man with Style" Dogg
28. kime, "The Man Who Did Not Kill His Brother, In Spite of Any Allegations to the Contrary"
29. Speedy "Gonzalez" Swaf
30. Variable, "The Man Who Punches People"

Reserves:
1. Gooey
2. chamberlain

Rumor even has it that one of these blokes is secretly the son of Rodney Leonard Stubbs, the greatest man to ever grace the Phalla!

I'll keep you posted as the news comes in, Barryheads!


Welcome to The Great Outdoor Phalla! This game is going to play a little differently from a standard Phalla.

Firstly, there is no village and there is no evil organization. Everyone is going to be for themselves. However, two factions will be created shortly after the game forms. Early on, it will be in your favor to work with one of these factions, but ultimately you're going to need to kill every person but yourself.

LIVING PLAYERS:

Element "Kickassium" Brian
Speedy "Gonzalez" Swaf
evil "Fought his Way Out of the Womb" bob
FunkyWalt "Destroy a Man with Style" Dogg
One Thousand "Raging" Dicks
Casual "Ass-Kicker" Eddy
kime, "The Man Who Did Not Kill His Brother, in Spite of Any Allegations to the Contrary"
DasUber "Stronger Than His Father" Edward
enlightened "Gonna make you piss through your eyesockets" bum
Mike "I don't need a fuckin' nickname" Danger
Zek, "The Man that Might Kill You"
oldman "Has mauled 3 generations of assholes" ken
LewieP's "Consumed her son to gain his courage" Mummy
Jason "Full of Fury" Todd
HamHam "Eats his Opponents" J
Gosling "of the Sonuvabitch Clan"
Oski "who has three testicles"
MacGuffin, "The Human Plot Device"
"Holy" JebusUD
Power "Gonna Rape your Grandma" Puppies
Ludious "who has beaten several men to death"

ELIMINATED PLAYERS:
Pretentious, "Who Will Kill You With Umlauts (that I did not bother to type this time)"-Given a Honky-Tonk-Style Blowjob by Country Western music star, Cody Travis.
Astraphobia, aka Perfect Ron Sipes- beaten down by enlightenedbum's army
Malkor, "The Mericiless Man"- Busted down to his component pieces by Son of Rodney.
gundam470 was beat down by enlightenedbum's army.
TheLawinator was shown the inside of his lower digestive system by Son of Rodney.
Ohtsam was given a Honky-Tonk-Style Blowjob by Country Western music star Cody Travis.
The "the" Roo was beaten down by the mob.
Behemoth, "The Man Who Is Larger Than You," set the record for the most pain experienced by one person, thanks to Son of Rodney.
We don't talk about what happened to Variable, "The Man Who Punches People."

Speed Racer on
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Posts

  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Word to the wise: check out this thread. D&D has a semi-established Phalla-ing schedule.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • One Thousand CablesOne Thousand Cables An absence of thought Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Sign up! This dude will have no mercy.

    One Thousand Cables on
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Word to the wise: check out this thread. D&D has a semi-established Phalla-ing schedule.

    The reason I made this thread was because I was contacted and told to by Richy!

    Speed Racer on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Oh, alright then. In that case, !sign up

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fresh out the box. Stop, look and watch. Ready yet? Get set, I'm alllllll that.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Fresh out the box. Stop, look and watch. Ready yet? Get set, I'm alllllll that.

    Maybe one of us will actually be evil! Or a special, though I'm way more likely to be a special in D&D Phallas for whatever reason.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I think here I don't need to worry much about that. It's a last-man-standing game, after all. Ultimately, everyone's evil but me.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • Jason ToddJason Todd Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    oh fuck yes

    !hella sign up

    Jason Todd on
    filefile.jpg
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    I think here I don't need to worry much about that. It's a last-man-standing game, after all. Ultimately, everyone's evil but me.

    Oh...right. I fail at reading.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • AstraphobiaAstraphobia Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !SIGN UP

    Meowmix meowmix please deliver

    Astraphobia on
    You: GOD NEVERMIND, I'LL JUST CALL THE FUCKING WONDER TWINS MAYBE THEY CAN UNITE TO FORM A FUCKING CLUE FOR YOU
  • OhtsamOhtsam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !sign up

    Ohtsam on
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Yesss.
    Yessssssssss
    I am the dude that is excited by this. Plus I !sign up

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • oldmankenoldmanken Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !sign up

    oldmanken on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !All about this

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Also, SSM is totally a bad guy. Isn't that right, trusted ally Eddy?

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !signup

    Ludious on
  • HamHamJHamHamJ Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !Sign Up

    HamHamJ on
    While racing light mechs, your Urbanmech comes in second place, but only because it ran out of ammo.
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Also, SSM is totally a bad guy. Isn't that right, trusted ally Eddy?

    how about you leave the talking to me this time

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Also, SSM is totally a bad guy. Isn't that right, trusted ally Eddy?

    how about you leave the talking to me this time

    suspicious u r

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Order! Order, I say. We must not be rash. We must divorce ourselves from our prejudices and appeal to our higher reasoning.

    This is the speaking banana. Everyone will get a chance to speak. And only then will we make our decision. Malkor, my friend. You are first.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I will eat this banana. You now must touch me in order to speak.

    For I am quite mad you see.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    THAT DUDE DID IT!

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !Sign up

    Bring the pain!

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2009
    !sign up you glorious assholes

    Medopine on
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I see three people that did not touch Malkor.

    This game is off to a suspicious start.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !Sign up

    What have I gotten myself into?

    Powerpuppies on
    sig.gif
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    WTF is this phalla about!

    !Signup

    JebusUD on
    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JebusUD wrote: »
    WTF is this phalla about!

    !Signup

    http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01252006

    Speed Racer on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I hate you for referencing achewood. What a terrible comic.

    Worst phalla ever! I'm still playing though. :.P

    edit: yeah, I just read like seven of those comics. 0 out of seven were funny so far.

    JebusUD on
    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JebusUD wrote: »
    I hate you for referencing achewood. What a terrible comic.

    Worst phalla ever! I'm still playing though. :.P

    edit: yeah, I just read like seven of those comics. 0 out of seven were funny so far.

    So how does it feel to have an automatic day one vote-out?

    Must feel great.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    I hate you for referencing achewood. What a terrible comic.

    Worst phalla ever! I'm still playing though. :.P

    edit: yeah, I just read like seven of those comics. 0 out of seven were funny so far.

    So how does it feel to have an automatic day one vote-out?

    Must feel great.

    pft. We all know malkor is evil first of all.

    JebusUD on
    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    I hate you for referencing achewood. What a terrible comic.

    Worst phalla ever! I'm still playing though. :.P

    edit: yeah, I just read like seven of those comics. 0 out of seven were funny so far.

    So how does it feel to have an automatic day one vote-out?

    Must feel great.

    pft. We all know malkor is evil first of all.

    shit
    shit shit shit
    How did you know?

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JebusUD wrote: »
    I hate you for referencing achewood. What a terrible comic.

    Worst phalla ever! I'm still playing though. :.P

    edit: yeah, I just read like seven of those comics. 0 out of seven were funny so far.

    Recognizing things that are good is not your strong suit!

    Speed Racer on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    I hate you for referencing achewood. What a terrible comic.

    Worst phalla ever! I'm still playing though. :.P

    edit: yeah, I just read like seven of those comics. 0 out of seven were funny so far.

    So how does it feel to have an automatic day one vote-out?

    Must feel great.

    pft. We all know malkor is evil first of all.

    shit
    shit shit shit
    How did you know?

    Shorn told me. I'll make sure to put my redirect on you tonight.

    JebusUD on
    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • ZekZek Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !sign up so hard

    Zek on
  • LewieP's MummyLewieP's Mummy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm here with my best mate, Feckless Ted Cob, and he's looking around for someone to talk about Arsenal with

    I can do that, as long as he's willing to talk about Workington Town, too!

    Oh, and sign up!

    I hope I don't regret this one.

    LewieP's Mummy on
    For all the top UK Gaming Bargains, check out SavyGamer

    For paintings in progress, check out canvas and paints

    "The power of the weirdness compels me."
  • oldmankenoldmanken Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I posted right after Malkor, yet I am not on the player list yet. So in case it's not clear:

    !SIGN UP

    oldmanken on
  • gundam470gundam470 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    !sign up

    gundam470 on
    gorillaSig.jpg
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2009
    look I don't really want to rape anyone's grandma here gosh

    Medopine on
  • PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Medopine wrote: »
    look I don't really want to rape anyone's grandma here gosh

    Hey you got off easy. D:D:D:D:D:D:

    Powerpuppies on
    sig.gif
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