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Xbox live - Remote Masseuse: seriously?

mojojoeomojojoeo A block off the park, living the dream.Registered User regular
edited February 2009 in Games and Technology
New Xbox live community "game" - Remote Masseuse

http://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/games/media/66acd000-77fe-1000-9115-d8025855018c/?p=1&of=1&sb=1#offers

This game enables players to control the speed and vibrations of other players controllers. Which they then... rub.......places?
"Solo mode lets you use your own controller to relax. Different vibration settings allow you to give the massage you want to give or receive. Supports voice chat so you can request the perfect massage. Great for long distance relationships."

http://kotaku.com/5153309/massage-your-love-over-xbox-live

Kotaku naturally points out - >
You can control the speed and intensity of your "friend's" vibration, while they apply it to their tense shoulder muscles, and not their crotch.

Is this real?

Genius idea or "how the world ends"?

Chief Wiggum: "Ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine."
mojojoeo on
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Posts

  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Welp, I'm off to work for the night

    Glad to know this exists

    :whistle:

    Crashmo on
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  • Nimble CatNimble Cat Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Next on Fox News, Sexxbox 2: Online Orgies.

    Nimble Cat on
  • EliminationElimination Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    What the hell...

    Elimination on
    PSN: PA_Elimination 3DS: 4399-2012-1711 Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/TheElimination/
  • urahonkyurahonky Cynical Old Man Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Huh. How much is it?

    urahonky on
  • MyNameIsWalrusMyNameIsWalrus Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    urahonky wrote: »
    Huh. How much is it?

    200 points

    MyNameIsWalrus on
  • mojojoeomojojoeo A block off the park, living the dream.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    urahonky wrote: »
    Huh. How much is it?

    200 pts. Or free demo of some sort....

    EDIT : damn your speedy fingers, MyNameIsWalrus! Damn them!

    mojojoeo on
    Chief Wiggum: "Ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine."
  • urahonkyurahonky Cynical Old Man Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    If anyone wants to add me...
    But seriously why not buy Rez?
    Isn't Rez the one with the "vibrator" add on?

    urahonky on
  • TheSuperWootTheSuperWoot Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Man, just throw in any FPS and get shot up a bunch. Bam, same effect for 200 points less!

    TheSuperWoot on
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    The future is awesome!

    TychoCelchuuu on
  • acidlacedpenguinacidlacedpenguin Institutionalized Safe in jail.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    oh come on, only 2 players?


    also demo is 15 seconds long with 5 minute breaks between demo runs so you can't enjoy it's full value for free. . .

    acidlacedpenguin on
    GT: Acidboogie PSNid: AcidLacedPenguiN
  • MyNameIsWalrusMyNameIsWalrus Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    urahonky wrote: »
    Isn't Rez the one with the "vibrator" add on?

    Yeah the Dreamcast version had that add on, and the 360 version lets you use extra controllers for the same effect.
    TheSuperWoot wrote: »
    Man, just throw in any FPS and get shot up a bunch. Bam, same effect for 200 points less!

    [strike]Unlimited[/strike] Infinite grind cheat in Tony Hawk FTW! :P

    MyNameIsWalrus on
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Phone sex in the HD era?


    I mean it was only a matter of time

    Khavall on
  • Kris_xKKris_xK Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    You know damn well some poor lonely bastard is going to do a DIY mod combining this and a fleshlight.

    Kris_xK on
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  • acidlacedpenguinacidlacedpenguin Institutionalized Safe in jail.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    already been done. . .
    fleshlight_fan.jpg

    acidlacedpenguin on
    GT: Acidboogie PSNid: AcidLacedPenguiN
  • MarikirMarikir Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    This is not a surprise. Also, the fact that it will be bought and used isn't a surprise. The fact that it could be incorporated into sex lives isn't a surprise.

    I must be getting old. Nothing about this shocks me. And I could care less if someone wants to use it.

    I'm just curious how long it will last before being removed.

    Marikir on
    steam_sig.png "Hiding in plain sight." PSN/XBL: Marikir
  • acidlacedpenguinacidlacedpenguin Institutionalized Safe in jail.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm interested in how much money they'll make from this app. This shit could be made in like, the same amount of time as all your coffee breaks in a single week...

    acidlacedpenguin on
    GT: Acidboogie PSNid: AcidLacedPenguiN
  • ZackSchillingZackSchilling Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    acidlacedpenguin wrote: »
    already been done. . .
    fleshlight_fan.jpg

    What could possibly go wrong?

    ZackSchilling on
    ghost-robot.jpg
  • Kris_xKKris_xK Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    acidlacedpenguin wrote: »
    already been done. . .
    fleshlight_fan.jpg

    That looks terrifying. The only way it could be worse is if it was attached to a blender instead of a fan.

    Kris_xK on
    calvinhobbessleddingsig2.gif
  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Kris_xK wrote: »
    acidlacedpenguin wrote: »
    already been done. . .
    fleshlight_fan.jpg

    That looks terrifying. The only way it could be worse is if it was attached to a blender instead of a fan.

    I really don't think a little fan like that would have the requisite horsepower to twist that thing around your noodle. A blender would be a better choice, in that regard. Perhaps a Blendtec Blender?
    This week on Will it Blend?: Your Penis!
    Yes, it blends!

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    AbsoluteZero wrote: »
    Kris_xK wrote: »
    acidlacedpenguin wrote: »
    already been done. . .
    fleshlight_fan.jpg

    That looks terrifying. The only way it could be worse is if it was attached to a blender instead of a fan.

    I really don't think a little fan like that would have the requisite horsepower to twist that thing around your noodle. A blender would be a better choice, in that regard. Perhaps a Blendtec Blender?
    This week on Will it Blend?: Your Penis!
    Yes, it blends!

    I can't view the image here at work but my imagination is already working overtime and it's horrifying.
    :winky:

    Darmak on
    JtgVX0H.png
  • schmadsschmads Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Wow. In some ways, I'm pleased that the community games system isn't shooting down every game that might be a little strange. On the other hand, this just seems... wrong somehow. It will be interesting to see if Microsoft does anything about it, or just leaves it to flounder and hopefully not sell all that well.

    Speaking of which, are they still going to show us exact sales figures (or any at all) for Community Games come March?

    schmads on
    Battle.net/SC2: Kwisatz.868 | Steam/XBL/PSN/Gamecenter: schmads | BattleTag/D3: Schmads#1144 | Hero Academy & * With Friends: FallenKwisatz | 3DS: 4356-0128-9671
  • Kris_xKKris_xK Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    On the plus side a blender would be dishwasher safe, making for easy cleanup!

    Kris_xK on
    calvinhobbessleddingsig2.gif
  • mooshoeporkmooshoepork Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Now I have to worry about everyone I share my xbox with, using it to masturbate.

    Thanks Microsoft.

    mooshoepork on
    Flickr!
    1_s.jpg2_s.jpg3_s.jpg
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    From the desciprtion:
    This game was classified by the community with the following category scores - Violence=0/3, Sex=0/3, Mature Content=0/3. Take control of someone else's controller to give them a soothing massage, either locally or over XBox Live. Solo mode lets you use your own controller to relax. Different vibration settings allow you to give the massage you want to give or receive. Supports voice chat so you can request the perfect massage. Great for long distance relationships.

    Achiement unlocked?

    chamberlain on
  • fragglefartfragglefart Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    This is actually the second dubious wanky game I've seen. The first went straight to number 2 in the CG charts after a couple of days, so I guess we should expect to see plenty more now.

    Also, you could always control the rumble via Live Cam as a built in feature, heh... D:

    fragglefart on
    fragglefart.jpg
  • EliminationElimination Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    No, i dont want to barrow your contoller anymore. It's sticky.

    Elimination on
    PSN: PA_Elimination 3DS: 4399-2012-1711 Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/TheElimination/
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Elimination wrote: »
    No, i dont want to barrow your contoller anymore. It's sticky.
    Well I can't shove it up my ass without it getting that way, now can I?

    Darmak on
    JtgVX0H.png
  • Zilla360Zilla360 21st Century. |She/Her| Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    AbsoluteZero wrote: »
    Kris_xK wrote: »
    acidlacedpenguin wrote: »
    already been done. . .
    fleshlight_fan.jpg

    That looks terrifying. The only way it could be worse is if it was attached to a blender instead of a fan.

    I really don't think a little fan like that would have the requisite horsepower to twist that thing around your noodle. A blender would be a better choice, in that regard. Perhaps a Blendtec Blender?
    This week on Will it Blend?: Your Penis!
    Yes, it blends!
    Wang Smoke! Don't breathe this!

    Zilla360 on
    |Ko-Fi Me! ☕😎| Steam. | PSN | ♾ (C.H.I) Ltd. |🏳️⚧️♥️
  • Kris_xKKris_xK Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Also, this game needs Xbox Live Camera support.

    For you know, talking.

    Kris_xK on
    calvinhobbessleddingsig2.gif
  • AlienCowThatMoosAlienCowThatMoos Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    20080109.jpg

    AlienCowThatMoos on
    SpidermanSig.jpg
  • DyvionDyvion Back in Sunny Florida!!Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Bow chicka chicka!

    Dyvion on
    Steam: No Safety In Life
    PSN: Dyvion -- Eternal: Dyvion+9393 -- Genshin Impact: Dyvion
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    That Fan-Fleshlight better be lubed real good or it's going to hurt like hell.

    Djiem on
  • AlienCowThatMoosAlienCowThatMoos Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Djiem wrote: »
    That Fan-Fleshlight better be lubed real good or it's going to hurt like hell.

    ...Says the stern voice of experience?

    AlienCowThatMoos on
    SpidermanSig.jpg
  • RizziRizzi Sydney, Australia.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

    Rizzi on
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I know a few girls who would be interested in this actually...

    Khavall on
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    AlienCowThatMoos wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    That Fan-Fleshlight better be lubed real good or it's going to hurt like hell.

    ...Says the stern voice of experience?

    Trust my shattered and sore penis.

    Actually, it was the voice of reason. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to imagine the chaffing potential.

    Djiem on
  • Raiden333Raiden333 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Djiem wrote: »
    That Fan-Fleshlight better be lubed real good or it's going to hurt like hell.

    Man, I don't care if you use fucking industrial machinery lubricant, that bastard is going to chafe.

    Raiden333 on
  • BroktuneBroktune Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I live in Vegas, who's in with me in developing dildos, ben-wah balls, double dongs, French ticklers, vibrators, fists, anal beads that can be controlled by the 360? Anyone.....anyone?

    Broktune on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Great idea? Or greatest idea?

    chasm on
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    XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
  • acidlacedpenguinacidlacedpenguin Institutionalized Safe in jail.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Broktune wrote: »
    I live in Vegas, who's in with me in developing dildos, ben-wah balls, double dongs, French ticklers, vibrators, fists, anal beads that can be controlled by the 360? Anyone.....anyone?

    you take care of the hardware I'll develop the software, we'll sell it and become millionaires!

    acidlacedpenguin on
    GT: Acidboogie PSNid: AcidLacedPenguiN
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Penny Arcade Forums› Games and Technology