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goin in the Navy!!!

calibucalibu Registered User new member
edited February 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
so, me and my husband just got married. well, we got married on July 5, 2008. we have been together for over 3 years now and have worked at dead end jobs living from paycheck to paycheck. we decided to join the navy together to create financial stability for ourselves and so that when we are ready to have children they will be well supported. but, i'm scared that when we get into it we won't be together. i hear all the time from different people two different answers to this fear of mine. they say "oh sure, you'll be stationed together" and "no, you will never see each other". but, i hear these answers from people i actually know. i want to hear answers from people who have been there and lived it. people who are married and both in the service. i don't want sugar coated "protective" answers. i need to know if me and my husband can actually do this together.

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Life is a big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts don't complicate your mind. flee from hate mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts put your vision into reality.
calibu on

Posts

  • NastymanNastyman Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    You can be stationed together. You just can't be in the same chain of command (basically you can't work together) There are normally multiple units at each base. As long as you two aren't going into the same Rate it should be very easy to get you two stationed either together or close enough to live together.

    It's really all up to the detailer though. So both answers are right. It's up to one guy in D.C. who gets to pick your orders.

    Nastyman on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • theclamtheclam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Is it possible to specify in your contract that you have to stay together (assuming you haven't enlisted yet)?

    theclam on
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  • NastymanNastyman Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    They don't really do things like that. If one of them was staying a civilian and they had some sort of hardship then they could always keep them together/in certain area. There's really nothing to do to keep a married couple together.

    It's all based on the needs of the service. If they need one of you in Cali and one of you in Maine then that's where you're going... But most detailers aren't dicks like that. They look at your files and see that you two are married and most of the time they will try to keep you together.

    edit: actually I think that if you have a kid then they might be required to keep you together...

    Nastyman on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • calibucalibu Registered User new member
    edited February 2009
    geez, so my feeling all along was correct it seems. luck of the draw.

    calibu on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Life is a big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts don't complicate your mind. flee from hate mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts put your vision into reality.
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I've processed a lot of people and heard lots of sob stories about couples separated. It more or less is luck of the draw and also highly dependent on what your jobs are as some get stationed only in a couple places and could (possibly) be mutually exclusive. Or it could be the exact opposite and you end up spending twenty years together on the same base.

    Though if you wanted my bit of advice? I'd recommend only one of you join, at least for now. There's a lot neither of you know about the military, how you'll react to it, how it'll change you, and with both of you going through that it can be a major stress.

    Quid on
  • Limp mooseLimp moose Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    calibu wrote: »
    geez, so my feeling all along was correct it seems. luck of the draw.

    on thing though. If you are married and forced to live apart IE one in maine one in san diego. You get a pretty hefty chunk of change for it. GEO bachelor pay is no joke.

    Limp moose on
  • Iceman.USAFIceman.USAF Major East CoastRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    theclam wrote: »
    Is it possible to specify in your contract that you have to stay together (assuming you haven't enlisted yet)?

    Who...who told you that? That's...just incorrect *shakes head* I've never heard that one before.

    Edit: apologies, I read too quickly.

    No, that's not possible.

    Iceman.USAF on
  • LunysgwenLunysgwen Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Just one of you should join first - The military LOVES families, and provides plenty of support for them, they'll move you and your family wherever you are stationed. But you are not guaranteed to be stationed together if you join together, it can be attempted, but you are both at the needs of the Navy, and it's not always what you want. Don't let the recruiters wheedle you into joining the Navy with such promises, and if they try, get them to get it in guaranteed writing (Which can't be done to my knowledge anyways.)

    If you both can't stay seperated for extended periods of time (Deploying on a ship.) make sure you find a job that'll keep you shore based, or negotiate something with a detailer. Remember - YOU sign the final contract, make sure you are 100% happy with it. WALK AWAY if it's not what you want.

    Oh yeah. Even if it's guaranteed, I'm sure they'll find a million ways to work around it anyways. They did to my E-4 guarantee.

    Lunysgwen on
  • *Narket*Narket Registered User new member
    edited February 2009
    Don't worry sweet heart, I think we'll be fine. And if nothing else, we just may decide to have a little baby if they separate us! :)

    *Narket on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    That's a terrible, terrible reason to have a child and does not necessarily work as many a separated parent will tell you.

    Quid on
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited February 2009
    This content has been removed.

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