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Posts

  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited December 2009
    The higher contrast of these pages is great. It may just be me, but I cant tell if the dudes eye is open and hes looking strait ahead or closed in the last panel. I'm also not sure about *scoffs* as a sound effect.

    Edit: nevermind, I can make out his eye in the pencils, something weird is going on the colors thats making me read his light upper lid as the white of his eyes, though.

    Iruka on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    I think the font needs to be changed. It's a cartoony font and doesn't fit the mood. The text needs more breathing room in the bubble as well. I think hand lettering and balloons would fit the best for this comic. At the very least, I think leaving the bubbles open on sides where it has a tangent with the panel would help. Like so:

    738306486_nMfjE-L.jpg

    NibCrom on
  • LaliluleloLalilulelo Richmond, VARegistered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Disagree about the font being too cartoony.

    Lalilulelo on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • NatriNatri Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    That is an awesome holidays card, Ken. You're getting really good with colour, I also like the way the comic is improving colorwise. Keep it up and happy holidays to you too!

    Natri on
    www.instagram.com/ceneven
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Page 7 is up, let us know what you think.

    2010-01-01-page7.jpg

    I really appreciate all the critiques so far guys. You have really been a big help.

    Mace1370 on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • Guy BellGuy Bell Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I think that the artwork is well done and suits the subject matter so I will only suggest a few tech things for future projects. Also, keep in mind that I'm much more in the "comic book" camp than the "graphic novel" camp.

    1. I couldn't figure out what was distracting me on your pages and then I realized it was the spacing in between your panels. Your horizontals are much wider than your verticals. This may be intentional but they are normally the same width.

    2. I understand that you are a professional with deadlines so the computer lettering is perhaps a must but I would still throw in a BOLD ITALIC word occasionally. It always makes a page more interesting. I know that this style of artwork probably won't work with tons of lettering and sound effects but a couple might add to the flow of the story.

    3. You may have seen it before since it's been on the internet forever, but Wally Wood's "22 panels that work" is a fantastic little guide for panel shots.

    Guy Bell on
  • Jake!Jake! Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Guy Bell wrote: »
    1. I couldn't figure out what was distracting me on your pages and then I realized it was the spacing in between your panels. Your horizontals are much wider than your verticals. This may be intentional but they are normally the same width.

    The problem with the spacing is that your panels (and convention) read left to right, then top to bottom. Your spacing groups the panels vertically, not horizontally, because you've got larger horizontal gaps than your verticals. This makes the page appear confused.

    Jake! on
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Thanks for the feedback, guys.

    I agree that hand lettering would look really good for this style of comic, but it is just impractical for our schedule. Kenny is a busy person, and I often make writing changes at the last minute. Perhaps in the future he can go through and hand letter them as he reworks previous pages, but we will have to stick with digital lettering for the time being.

    Also, I agree about the spacing between comics. That was a good catch and something I didn't notice at all.
    Also, keep in mind that I'm much more in the "comic book" camp than the "graphic novel" camp.

    Do you mean you just don't like the term "graphic novel"? Or do you view this project as more of a comic book than a graphic novel? I labeled it a graphic novel because I don't have the plot separated by issues (the standard 23 pages or whatever it is). It is instead organized into three larger segments (which I am calling "books" for lack of a better term. Volume could also work, I guess).

    Mace1370 on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Mace1370 wrote: »
    I just updated the bubbles to have rounded corners. I still think a few corners are tight and I'll work more on them later, but I think it's an improvement.

    Dee, should I border the bubbles with a gray? Other than that, I'm not sure what I could do to make them meld in more.

    If the panels had black borders that are the same width as the strokes on the balloons, it would help tie them together.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Page 8 is now up:

    2010-01-15-page8.jpg

    I think Kenny did a really great job with this one.

    Also, I think this comic would benefit from a few sound effects. I was thinking "FOWOOSH" next to the target dummy igniting in panel 3 and "CRACK" in panel 4. It turns out, however, that I'm pretty terrible at making sound effects. I've read over:

    http://www.balloontales.com/articles/tutorial/part2.html

    And a few other articles they have about lettering FX and it was helpful. My problem is not designing the letters as much as it is choosing the colors. Everything I try seems to stand out and not compliment the arty style or color palette. Any recommendations here would be very helpful. Thanks!

    Mace1370 on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Just wanted to chime in and say I don't see enough water color comics, let alone ones as nice and like yours. I might not be looking hard enough if that's the case. It's a love of mine to use watercolor so you, sir, inspire me to do great things. -Mild Applause-

    Arden Canelo on
  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I am trying to think of a helpful critique but all I can do is stare at page 7 panel 3 and bite my lower lip, fff, dose asses

    other than that, though, these are really, really lovely. I think the colours you've chosen really suit the style, though some off your contrasts are over exaggerated, like page 6, how his ribs go from white to black. Whereas it looks fine in the pencil sketches because it's grey-white and his hair is the darkest. Am in love with these faces.

    Kochikens on
  • Guy BellGuy Bell Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Nice work. Just curious..is this cmyk or rgb?

    Guy Bell on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • Guy BellGuy Bell Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Doesn't it have to be converted to cmyk for print? I've just recently started doing almost all coloring from a cmyk color wheel so I was wondering how you are dealing with it.

    Guy Bell on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Pretty cool looking pages bro. I really like the direction you guys went, it has a nice soft look to it.

    At first glance the digital letting seemed out of place to me as well. Even if you must use digital for times sake I would consider trying to work on getting them from being so jarring. Like mannon said it might help to have borders on the panels, because seeing borders on the word bubbles and nothing else kind of draws your attention away from the artwork.

    If not, I would at least try changing the color of the outline and the words to the darkest color in the panels instead of the blackest black. There isn't a lot of black in the pages so I would try replacing it with a dark, but not totally dark, brown since you have a lot of that in the comics. It might soften it up some and jive with the artwork better.

    earthwormadam on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    What I did in my altered book to keep the text from being jarringly black, I had it all set to multiply with an opacity of about 85%.

    Something similar could help here.


    Also mace, if you want soundfx, try having ken incorporate it into the artwork instead of you adding it digitally.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • Guy BellGuy Bell Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Oh, yeah for web comics RGB makes sense. I just hate converting because I always end up with problems. CMYK is more limited and my reds usually become rust and my blues really dull out. I've just started messing around with it because before I always just used RGB.

    Guy Bell on
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Guys, thanks for all the advice.

    We are going to try the next comic with black gutters and see how that looks. I'll post it as soon as we update!

    Mace1370 on
  • Faded_SneakersFaded_Sneakers Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Its easy to convert CMYK to RGB for Web Viewing. Problems that occur are problems going from RGB to CMYK and I dont know any printer that doesnt print in CMYK. That said the only real problems you run into with converting a RGB image to CMYK is usually going to be with extremely vibrant colors. As water colors tend to be muted by their nature I dont think youll find the CMYK version to be all that significantly different from the original RGB file.

    Faded_Sneakers on
    Instagram: fadedsneakers
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I think the second one would be strong if the face weren't visible, maybe a silhouette or at least in heavy shadow so that it doesn't read as a specific individual.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • MaximasXXZMaximasXXZ Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I'm not sure who you're marketing these toward, but I think the zombie-esque version of the Hatian reaching out of rubble might be a bit more morbid than people really want to see. I like the first one with the shattered head, like his whole world has just been shattered and is falling apart. I think that direction will probably be a bit more acceptable and well received.

    MaximasXXZ on
    zombiegirl8ki.gif
    TL_Sigblock.jpg
    PSN: MaximasXXZ XBOX Live: SneakyMcSnipe
  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I also support the first one. Like Maximas said, the second one is too morbid in a very real sense, and the second two are just not very good, IMO.

    Tam on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    .

    Kendeathwalker on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    One of the cracks should be in the shape of Haiti.

    MagicToaster on
  • PROXPROX Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I have mixed feeling of actually portraying a haitian suffering... but it does add emotion. These are good sketches.

    PROX on
  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I like the first one, and think what you're doing is really awesome, Ken.

    Kochikens on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I actually prefer the last one, compositionally it just works better.

    Mustang on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Yeah I'd go with one of the more metaphorical ones since the ones depicting acual buried people could be considered tasteless. Actually I think the 3rd one is pretty good, and it may just be seeing the dudes face that seems to be pushing the boundries.

    Either way you did a good job getting some good variety in your sketches.

    earthwormadam on
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Page 9 is now up. We are trying black gutters this time to see if that helps make the lettering blend in better:

    2010-02-01-page9.jpg

    Let us know what you think!

    Mace1370 on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Best page yet. The word balloons fit in better with the black gutters. The colors are great. You managed to make a "talking" page interesting, compositionally. There are a couple of places I want to bump the words down just a tad (first bubble on second panel), but the spacing around the words is pleasing.

    NibCrom on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    i love that lady's hands
    they are very expressive.

    beavotron on
  • DeeLockDeeLock Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Second to last panel is beautiful, her face and her hands really tell a story.

    DeeLock on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Love the composition on that first panel.

    Mustang on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    It looks really good on the black bground on the site. If you plan to print it, I'd suggest putting a black border around it the width of the gutters. I'd also suggest retrofitting the previous pages with this lettering and black gutters.

    ManonvonSuperock on
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