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Fuck My Life

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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    well I've seriously considered putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger this morning

    this can't be a good sign

    man, that was so last night

    it's all about hypomania now

    (I'm told this is called "rapid cycling" and I have to get used to it)

    hey hey

    talk to your doctor about zyprexa

    i'm on that, and it's keepin me pretty level

    Pony on
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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    well I've seriously considered putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger this morning

    this can't be a good sign

    water pistol filled with vodka wooop wooop

    The_Scarab on
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    Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    well I've seriously considered putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger this morning

    this can't be a good sign

    water pistol filled with vodka wooop wooop
    I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    Ness445 on
    4445.gif
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    FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Janson wrote: »
    Nads wrote: »
    What did he do, Rach. WHAT. DID. HE. DO?

    I spent today with a German au pair named Sandra

    Sandra was really, really looking forward to going out tonight. Hasn't been out partying in a while. She was going to drive the both of us there, but that would've meant she couldn't drink.

    So I decided to offer Mori's services. He doesn't enjoy drinking anyway, so I figure he could drive us and hang out with us and get to know Sandra too. So I'm extolling Mori's virtues to Sandra; how he's reliable, a safe driver, dependable, etc.

    We get set to go out. Mori has no suitable clothes, so I buy him a new outfit. We get to the pub/club and there's an entry fee. Sandra and I have the money, Mori doesn't. But that's okay, because Mori's hungry and The Counter is just across the street. Mori'll go get a burger and then meet us later.

    An hour later, Sandra and I are having a pretty good time. She's had just one drink, I've only had water. We're pacing ourselves. But Mori's nowhere in sight.

    We go outside, see he's still in The Counter. We figure he can't be long and Sandra's enjoying the fresh air, so we wait a little while. Eventually he comes out.

    He hands me his box of leftover burger + fries. He doesn't feel well so he goes to find a bathroom. I continue to wait outside with his box. The bathroom's closed. He returns and leaves to find another one. That's closed too. He leaves again. All this while I'm left like a lemon standing outside the club holding his leftovers.

    He finds a bathroom, and spends half an hour in it. Then he comes out. By now Sandra and I are pretty worried. I'm still holding his leftovers. He feels sick, but hasn't been able to throw up. Also, it turns out he had two White Russians in The Counter. So he's drunk more alcohol than the both of us put together. He says he's going back to the car, and asks if we're ready to leave. He thinks we're waiting to leave because we've been outside. We've been outside because we've been holding his leftovers waiting for him.

    Anyway, we left straight after that, dropped Sandra back home, and have promised she'll get to stay out next time.

    Lucky, lucky woman.

    Fiz on
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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    well I've seriously considered putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger this morning

    this can't be a good sign

    water pistol filled with vodka wooop wooop
    I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    Newsletter filled with vodka wooop wooop

    The_Scarab on
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    Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Ness445 wrote: »
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    well I've seriously considered putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger this morning

    this can't be a good sign

    water pistol filled with vodka wooop wooop
    I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    Newsletter filled with vodka wooop wooop
    this gets better and better.

    Ness445 on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Just the right amount of 'believable' to be worth repeating:
    Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
    Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
    Today, I saw two lovely ladies leave my neighbors house, a couple of minutes later he walked out. I made the male international "did you f**k her/them" hand gesture(horizontal fist pump) towards him. He proceeds to tell me they were his daughters. FML
    Today, I was expecting my parents over to my dorm when I realized that the room smelled like weed a little. Thinking that no one would recognize the smell, I didn't do anything. As soon as my parents and little sister walk in my room, my sister yells "It smells like weed in here!" She's 10. FML

    Darth Waiter on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    oogmar wrote: »
    Today (er, a few months ago), I was in the "18+ only" section of Spartacus (specialty sex shop in Portland), holding a few different types of oils, a cock ring, a new blindfold (the irony of losing a blindfold is not lost on me), and a plug-in extension for my bullet when I turned around and saw my big brother, who lives in a different city, holding the same brand of blindfold and eyeballing the cock ring in a rather stunned manner. As I don't have a cock, it obviously wasn't for me.

    Not exactly FML, because we laughed about it and got to talking brands and whatnot on a totally not creepy level.

    But awwwwwkard ten seconds or so there.

    The 18+ only section? Of a sex shop. So there's a section of a sex shop that's not for adults? What the fuck?

    Defender on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Pony wrote: »
    who goes to the doctor with their parents

    i stopped that shit when i was like 10

    Also doctors are generally not complete retards, and they tend to respect people's privacy and also not ask "so, you fuckin' yet" in front of a kid's parents since they actually want the correct answer.

    Defender on
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    Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Defender wrote: »
    oogmar wrote: »
    Today (er, a few months ago), I was in the "18+ only" section of Spartacus (specialty sex shop in Portland), holding a few different types of oils, a cock ring, a new blindfold (the irony of losing a blindfold is not lost on me), and a plug-in extension for my bullet when I turned around and saw my big brother, who lives in a different city, holding the same brand of blindfold and eyeballing the cock ring in a rather stunned manner. As I don't have a cock, it obviously wasn't for me.

    Not exactly FML, because we laughed about it and got to talking brands and whatnot on a totally not creepy level.

    But awwwwwkard ten seconds or so there.

    The 18+ only section? Of a sex shop. So there's a section of a sex shop that's not for adults? What the fuck?
    I'm kinda intrigued to what PG-13 type of sex shop they could have been discussing.

    Ness445 on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Just the right amount of 'believable' to be worth repeating:
    Today, I saw two lovely ladies leave my neighbors house, a couple of minutes later he walked out. I made the male international "did you f**k her/them" hand gesture(horizontal fist pump) towards him. He proceeds to tell me they were his daughters. FML

    i've made this same kind of mistake

    "whoa hey dude, that's a cute chick i saw you with the other day"

    "that's my niece."

    "oh... uh..."

    "if you say "is she single?" i will cut off your sack"

    Pony on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Defender wrote: »
    oogmar wrote: »
    Today (er, a few months ago), I was in the "18+ only" section of Spartacus (specialty sex shop in Portland), holding a few different types of oils, a cock ring, a new blindfold (the irony of losing a blindfold is not lost on me), and a plug-in extension for my bullet when I turned around and saw my big brother, who lives in a different city, holding the same brand of blindfold and eyeballing the cock ring in a rather stunned manner. As I don't have a cock, it obviously wasn't for me.

    Not exactly FML, because we laughed about it and got to talking brands and whatnot on a totally not creepy level.

    But awwwwwkard ten seconds or so there.

    The 18+ only section? Of a sex shop. So there's a section of a sex shop that's not for adults? What the fuck?

    Well to be fair I know a place that has the counter aisle, like this really small room with a clerk for collections etc., before it leads through a door and into the shop proper

    But yeah that seems a very strange thing to point out

    Edcrab on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Defender wrote: »
    oogmar wrote: »
    "18+ only" section of Spartacus (specialty sex shop in Portland)

    The 18+ only section? Of a sex shop. So there's a section of a sex shop that's not for adults? What the fuck?

    That's what happens when you don't grow up in a Puritanical environment like I did in the South: under 18 kids having sex with condoms and not getting pregnant or catching diseases.

    Lucky sex-having bastards.

    Darth Waiter on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Defender wrote: »
    oogmar wrote: »
    Today (er, a few months ago), I was in the "18+ only" section of Spartacus (specialty sex shop in Portland), holding a few different types of oils, a cock ring, a new blindfold (the irony of losing a blindfold is not lost on me), and a plug-in extension for my bullet when I turned around and saw my big brother, who lives in a different city, holding the same brand of blindfold and eyeballing the cock ring in a rather stunned manner. As I don't have a cock, it obviously wasn't for me.

    Not exactly FML, because we laughed about it and got to talking brands and whatnot on a totally not creepy level.

    But awwwwwkard ten seconds or so there.

    The 18+ only section? Of a sex shop. So there's a section of a sex shop that's not for adults? What the fuck?

    Most "joke/novelty" shops have an area out front that has all the tame stuff like gag gifts and lewd birthday cards and the like while the back room houses all the porn and explicit sex junk.

    TankHammer on
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    FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Any teenager who thinks their parents have never even smelled weed is dumb enough without it.

    Fiz on
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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2009
    Defender wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    who goes to the doctor with their parents

    i stopped that shit when i was like 10

    Also doctors are generally not complete retards, and they tend to respect people's privacy and also not ask "so, you fuckin' yet" in front of a kid's parents since they actually want the correct answer.

    I don't remember how old I was, maybe 10 or 12, but a doctor has asked that before with my parents in the room.

    Larlar on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i remember my doctor asking me that when i was 13, and when i responded in the affirmative he just nodded like it ain't no thing and asked "do you use condoms?"

    "yes"

    "good"

    and that was all he said on the matter. not judging, just telling me that i should regularely get STD tests even if i use condoms

    he was a good doctor

    Pony on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Larlar wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    who goes to the doctor with their parents

    i stopped that shit when i was like 10

    Also doctors are generally not complete retards, and they tend to respect people's privacy and also not ask "so, you fuckin' yet" in front of a kid's parents since they actually want the correct answer.

    I don't remember how old I was, maybe 10 or 12, but a doctor has asked that before with my parents in the room.

    I hope you or your parents said something about that

    My relatives in the health service would burst a blood vessel if that happened in their presence

    Edcrab on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I remember this one being the topic of much debate in the last FML thread:
    Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

    Darth Waiter on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Fake, my lord.

    Edcrab on
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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2009
    Edcrab wrote: »
    Larlar wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    who goes to the doctor with their parents

    i stopped that shit when i was like 10

    Also doctors are generally not complete retards, and they tend to respect people's privacy and also not ask "so, you fuckin' yet" in front of a kid's parents since they actually want the correct answer.

    I don't remember how old I was, maybe 10 or 12, but a doctor has asked that before with my parents in the room.

    I hope you or your parents said something about that

    My relatives in the health service would burst a blood vessel if that happened in their presence

    Nobody really batted an eye. I don't even look back on it with incredulity.

    Larlar on
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    zimfanzimfan Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    they are both still living with their parents and they obviously aren't good at wording is my guess

    zimfan on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I don't think it's fake so much as misspoken or even a situation where the parents say, "Call us Dad and Mom."

    Still funny in it's own way.

    zimfan edit: I'm more specific and varied with my answer, so I clearly win.

    Darth Waiter on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    In which case it's still a terrible FML, except for just being boring rather than incestuous

    Also Larlar a doctor who asks that question of a kid in front of said kid's parents and expects a straight answer is a pretty strange doctor, yikes

    Edcrab on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    a friend of mine told me that when she was 14, she had a yeast infection for the first time ever and went to the doctor about it

    the doctor asked her if she was sexually active, and she told him yes, as a while prior she had started having sex with her boyfriend

    apparently the doctor called her mother after the appointment and told her about it

    so her mother completely freaked, grounded her, forbid her from seeing her boyfriend, and all the standard things parents do when they over-react to their kids having sex

    it pretty much destroyed her faith and trust in that doctor and she never saw him again, instead she'd take the bus to the local walk-in clinic if she needed a doctor.

    it wasn't until years later she realized what a massive breach of ethics her doctor committed and how she should've seriously done something about it

    Pony on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Edcrab wrote: »
    In which case it's still a terrible FML, except for just being boring rather than incestuous

    Which is why it caused so much debate the last time. Familiar, isn't it?

    Darth Waiter on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Larlar wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    who goes to the doctor with their parents

    i stopped that shit when i was like 10

    Also doctors are generally not complete retards, and they tend to respect people's privacy and also not ask "so, you fuckin' yet" in front of a kid's parents since they actually want the correct answer.

    I don't remember how old I was, maybe 10 or 12, but a doctor has asked that before with my parents in the room.

    What kind of retard country are you from?

    Defender on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Edcrab wrote: »
    In which case it's still a terrible FML, except for just being boring rather than incestuous

    Which is why it caused so much debate the last time. Familiar, isn't it?

    Waiter what happened to you man you used to be cool

    Also I'm trying to figure out why the hell I have memories of your posting in my pre-signup lurking days when we actually joined in the same month

    Edcrab on
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    RocketScienceRocketScience Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I don't think a doctor's ever asked me that before. They must have just assumed I wasn't. FML.

    RocketScience on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Edcrab wrote: »
    Edcrab wrote: »
    In which case it's still a terrible FML, except for just being boring rather than incestuous

    Which is why it caused so much debate the last time. Familiar, isn't it?

    Waiter what happened to you man you used to be cool

    Also I'm trying to figure out why the hell I have memories of your posting in my pre-signup lurking days when we actually joined in the same month

    I'm still cool. And you just may be smoking too much of that diggity dank. Or maybe I'm just really tired and pissy of a morning, which is probably the most logical explanation. I also haven't had my fist cigarette of the day, trying to extend that until later and later each day.

    Gotta cut back, shit's getting expensive.

    RS edit: Wassup, homey?

    Darth Waiter on
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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2009
    Defender wrote: »
    Larlar wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    who goes to the doctor with their parents

    i stopped that shit when i was like 10

    Also doctors are generally not complete retards, and they tend to respect people's privacy and also not ask "so, you fuckin' yet" in front of a kid's parents since they actually want the correct answer.

    I don't remember how old I was, maybe 10 or 12, but a doctor has asked that before with my parents in the room.

    What kind of retard country are you from?

    Hello and welcome to logical induction.

    Larlar on
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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I had a doctor ask if I drank (I was 15 at the time) in front of my mom.
    But that was because it would affect medication I was taking
    And I don't drink (even if I did my mom wouldn't mind :P )

    So it wasn't a big deal

    unintentional on
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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited March 2009
    I'm not actually sure that is a breach of ethics. Until you're a certain age over here your doctor is responsible for informing your parents of important medical snafu.

    Tube on
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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm not actually sure that is a breach of ethics. Until you're a certain age over here your doctor is responsible for informing your parents of important medical snafu.

    I will go ask my medical ethicist mother

    unintentional on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I had a doctor ask if I drank (I was 15 at the time) in front of my mom.
    But that was because it would affect medication I was taking
    And I don't drink (even if I did my mom wouldn't mind :P )

    So it wasn't a big deal

    No, see, that is a big deal. Because what if you did drink and you knew your mom would flip out about it? Then you lie to the doctor because he asked you a private/personal question in front of another person, and then he potentially doesn't give you all of the information that you need.

    Defender on
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    MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    pony has been driving himself to the doctor's since he was 10. Therefore England sucks

    Monkeyfeet on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm not actually sure that is a breach of ethics. Until you're a certain age over here your doctor is responsible for informing your parents of important medical snafu.

    i don't think "your daughter is having sex by the way" is an important medical issue

    to be honest, i'm not actually sure what rights minors in this country have to medical confidentiality from their parents

    but it seems awfully wrong for a doctor to ask you if you are sexually active, and then turn around and call yo momma when you leave to rat you out

    seems to me something is definitely amiss there.

    Pony on
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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    pony has been driving himself to the doctor's since he was 10. Therefore England sucks

    or, you know, taking the bus or walking. but that's just silly

    Caulk Bite 6 on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Pony wrote: »
    I'm not actually sure that is a breach of ethics. Until you're a certain age over here your doctor is responsible for informing your parents of important medical snafu.

    i don't think "your daughter is having sex by the way" is an important medical issue

    to be honest, i'm not actually sure what rights minors in this country have to medical confidentiality from their parents

    but it seems awfully wrong for a doctor to ask you if you are sexually active, and then turn around and call yo momma when you leave to rat you out

    seems to me something is definitely amiss there.

    Specifically that the patient now has no confidence in the doctor and will give dishonest answers in the future, resulting in improper medical treatment.

    Defender on
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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    OKAY I asked my mom who is a medical ethicist:

    -Its not a clear cut situation
    -If the doctor feels that nothing they can say will impress upon the minor the risks of sex (pregnancy especially) then they can make a judgement call to inform the family
    -Depends on the country as well
    -If the minor turns out to HAVE an STD/STI then the doctor may tell them that he has to inform their parents

    unintentional on
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