Expressing the right amount of interest (girl thread)

wenchkilla

Hey guys,

I really shouldn't be needing help at this age, but I was in a long term relationship for 3 years of college, leading to me learning a lot about relationships, but nothing about dating.

On Saturday I met a couple people to study for finals, including a girl I've talked to a bit in class and outside (she's often working cashier when I buy coffee for class) throughout the quarter, and ended up just talking to them more than studying. She was really fun and interesting to talk to, and asked me for a short ride home.

Now earlier I extended an invitation to the group for poker (one of our regulars dropped out), and she mentioned how cool it was that my friends and I had a poker night, but that she was busy. When I dropped her off she said that she would like to come to our next one if it was possible. I said sure, and asked if it was okay to call her (I didn't ask for her number, got it from her texting me earlier) and she said yeah.

Our next poker night is Wednesday (9 days from now). I'm going to call her back this Thursday or Friday (not because of any wait-to-call bullshit - it's finals week until then), but I'm unsure of whether I should also just ask her out for a date this weekend. I don't want her to think I'm not interested by not hanging out with her all the way until next Wednesday, but I don't want to possibly overwhelm her by asking her out too soon. Would it be better to ask her out after poker, so that she knows me a little better?


tl;dr: read bold. Sorry this ran a bit long.

Funny sidenote:

Friends: "Yeah, awesome, bring her!"
Me: "Okay cool, just making sure that's cool with you guys, I was worried it might not be"
Friends: "Nah it's totally cool, we don't care, haha....wait, you like this girl right?"
Me: "Yeah, she's awesome, I'm glad I get to hang out with her again!"
Friends: "Okay, then her attendance will cost you a fifth of tequila" 8-)
Me:

Tasteticle

You are over thinking. You want to ask her out? Ask her out. If she likes you she will say yes, regardless of the upcoming poker game. I promise.

DodgeBlan

I think Tasteicle summed it up pritty well.

SammyF

Since you have a spoilered funny sidenote, I'm going to use one, too, from back in the day when I learned about asking out girls:

Me: Hey by the way I'm going to this party thing Friday night if you happen to be free, so... :winky:
Girl: Um, no, that's okay. Plus I don't really date assholes. :x
Me: Huh?! What did I do?! o_O
Girl: If you're going to ask me to give up my Friday night and go to the effort of picking out an outfit, putting on makeup and going to this party where I'm not going to know anyone else to spend time with you, you could at least have the common goddamned courtesy to act like you actually want me to go.
Me: Oh. I see. Sorry.
Girl: It's fine. Forget it.
Me: Okay. So...I have this party thing I'm going to Friday night, it ought to be pretty fun but it'd be awesome if you would come, too. Would you like to go with me as my date?
Girl: In that case, I would love to.
Me:

Asking a girl out without overthinking things or prevaricating demonstrates two key things: (a) you're interested, and (b) you're confident enough that you're won't be shy about asking a girl out. Just go ahead and do it.

Sheep

Seems like you're gettin setup for a date.

Don't see why you wouldn't want to ask her.

Septus

Agreed. I don't think there's anything wrong with not calling her, and just seeing her at poker, and then asking her out later, since you already talked with her about seeing her then.

But if you like her, would you actually want to delay getting to know her better etc? It sounds like you've hung out with her more than enough for it to be an appropriate time to ask her out, since an appropriate enough time would have been when you first met her.

Sheep

She's comfortable enough to catch a ride home with him...

wenchkilla

Thank you guys, I knew I was just being paranoid about it. When I call her I'll ask her if she'd like to go see an improv comedy show and grab dinner on Saturday. I mentioned the improv place when we drove by it and she said she's never been to that one, but really likes that kind of stuff, so I think that's good idea.

See, my intuition was telling me that she seems to be at least somewhat interested, but I didn't know whether to trust it :P