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TV news: Animal Crossing is a haven for child molesters

2

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  • urahonkyurahonky Cynical Old Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    To be fair, many local TV news stations pull this kind of misrepresented, alarmist crap all the time.

    "Tonight on News 6, find out about 57 common household items that can kill you."

    WHATS IN YOUR FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD DRINK THAT COULD KILL YOU BY MORNING? Find out tonight at 11

    I...Just won't drink till 11. I could be killing myself slowly!

    urahonky on
  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    urahonky wrote: »
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    To be fair, many local TV news stations pull this kind of misrepresented, alarmist crap all the time.

    "Tonight on News 6, find out about 57 common household items that can kill you."

    WHATS IN YOUR FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD DRINK THAT COULD KILL YOU BY MORNING? Find out tonight at 11

    I...Just won't drink till 11. I could be killing myself slowly!

    The sad thing is, I did not make that up. That was actually something the news around here did a few years back

    Buttcleft on
  • urahonkyurahonky Cynical Old Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    urahonky wrote: »
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    To be fair, many local TV news stations pull this kind of misrepresented, alarmist crap all the time.

    "Tonight on News 6, find out about 57 common household items that can kill you."

    WHATS IN YOUR FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD DRINK THAT COULD KILL YOU BY MORNING? Find out tonight at 11

    I...Just won't drink till 11. I could be killing myself slowly!

    The sad thing is, I did not make that up. That was actually something the news around here did a few years back

    That makes me sad. So very sad...

    urahonky on
  • Brainiac 8Brainiac 8 Don't call me Shirley... Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    You know, seeing everyone in this thread making fun of an upright journalist just trying to protect the children is quite suspicious.

    What's the number to Chris Hansen? I now feel the need to turn all of you in. :x

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  • ViscountalphaViscountalpha The pen is mightier than the sword http://youtu.be/G_sBOsh-vyIRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Brainiac 8 wrote: »
    You know, seeing everyone in this thread making fun of an upright journalist just trying to protect the children is quite suspicious.

    What's the number to Chris Hansen? I now feel the need to turn all of you in. :x

    There is actually people looking for sexual predators and then there are horribly skewed stories like this. Something so badly mis-represented deserves a bit of satire.

    Viscountalpha on
  • Brainiac 8Brainiac 8 Don't call me Shirley... Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Viscountalpha wrote: »
    Brainiac 8 wrote: »
    You know, seeing everyone in this thread making fun of an upright journalist just trying to protect the children is quite suspicious.

    What's the number to Chris Hansen? I now feel the need to turn all of you in. :x

    There is actually people looking for sexual predators and then there are horribly skewed stories like this. Something so badly mis-represented deserves a bit of satire.


    I know, I was joking. :(

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  • GunstarGunstar Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I don't know if it's been brought up but Animal Crossing is one of the hardest games on the market to even play over wi-fi with a random person. I mean it's much easier for [strike]me[/strike] someone to just join a game in Halo 3 and then find the kids whose voices are really high and use [strike]my[/strike] their webcam to send dick pix.

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  • Brainiac 8Brainiac 8 Don't call me Shirley... Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Gunstar wrote: »
    I don't know if it's been brought up but Animal Crossing is one of the hardest games on the market to even play over wi-fi with a random person. I mean it's much easier for [strike]me[/strike] someone to just join a game in Halo 3 and then find the kids whose voices are really high and use [strike]my[/strike] their webcam to send dick pix.


    Hmmm....the changes in your story worry me.

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  • urahonkyurahonky Cynical Old Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    What's the PA comic with Tycho talking about not wanting to see Gabe's wang because of the 360 webcam? And when he logs into his 360 there's like 10 emails about random stuff, all presumably his wang.

    urahonky on
  • Toxic PickleToxic Pickle Thash grape! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Brainiac 8 wrote: »
    You know, seeing everyone in this thread making fun of an upright journalist just trying to protect the children is quite suspicious.

    What's the number to Chris Hansen? I now feel the need to turn all of you in. :x

    I've seen your little town you know. All those Nintendo devices just waiting to lure the young and innocent to THEIR DOOM.

    Toxic Pickle on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    This news report is awesome. I can insinuate that my friend's mother is a child molester, and this time I can say that I have proof.

    All kidding aside, I suppose it was only a matter of time before the alarmist media latched onto the new Animal Crossing. It's exactly this sort of shit why Nintendo has gimped their online capabilities, to our chagrin.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So essentially is the game literally invites you to venture into an unlocked strangers house, play with their possessions, and accept toys from them for nothing in return.

    Who's really the criminal here? The innocent people of the city or the new kid in town who raids and takes control of the town?

    Though truth be told I used to play Animal Crossing: WW and would invite people to my town through the use of Gamefaqs to give me fruit and stuff.

    One day someone asked for my age and I lied, because they said they were 10.

    I didn't play much after that.

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  • Brainiac 8Brainiac 8 Don't call me Shirley... Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Toxic Pickle wrote: »
    Brainiac 8 wrote: »
    You know, seeing everyone in this thread making fun of an upright journalist just trying to protect the children is quite suspicious.

    What's the number to Chris Hansen? I now feel the need to turn all of you in. :x

    I've seen your little town you know. All those Nintendo devices just waiting to lure the young and innocent to THEIR DOOM.


    But wait, it's not what you think! It's just an innocent basement of [strike]torture[/strike] super fun stuff!
    THEPAIN73 wrote:
    Though truth be told I used to play Animal Crossing: WW and would invite people to my town through the use of Gamefaqs to give me fruit and stuff.

    One day someone asked for my age and I lied, because they said they were 10.

    I didn't play much after that.

    That's the thing though. Kids that may be running in to trouble have to be getting friend codes from somewhere to interact with these people. This here is the crux of the whole thing. It is the parents responsibiltiy to know what their kids are doing and who they are interacting with online.

    I really hope Nintendo sues them for slander.

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  • GnomeTankGnomeTank What the what? Portland, OregonRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    My daughter just turned five months old, and the only good thing I take from stories like this is:

    Someday soon (or now for some of us), we will be the parents, and it's our responsibility to not fall victim to the same FUD as our parents before us. With the wide spread access we have to information these days, we should all make it our goal to never be "that" parent, who is so clueless and out of touch as to be affected by stories like this.

    GnomeTank on
    Sagroth wrote: »
    Oh c'mon FyreWulff, no one's gonna pay to visit Uranus.
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  • Toxic PickleToxic Pickle Thash grape! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    THEPAIN73 wrote: »
    Though truth be told I used to play Animal Crossing: WW and would invite people to my town through the use of Gamefaqs to give me fruit and stuff.

    One day someone asked for my age and I lied, because they said they were 10.

    I didn't play much after that.

    This is pretty much why there are only other PA members on my friends list. D:

    Toxic Pickle on
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  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    GnomeTank wrote: »
    My daughter just turned five months old

    Dude, what's her friend code

    Sir Carcass on
  • Brainiac 8Brainiac 8 Don't call me Shirley... Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    GnomeTank wrote: »
    My daughter just turned five months old, and the only good thing I take from stories like this is:

    Someday soon (or now for some of us), we will be the parents, and it's our responsibility to not fall victim to the same FUD as our parents before us. With the wide spread access we have to information these days, we should all make it our goal to never be "that" parent, who is so clueless and out of touch as to be affected by stories like this.


    Precicely. I have a six year old and a 1yr old. My daughter plays Animal Crossing and uses the internet for school. My computer is in a place where I can see what she is doing at all times, and the Wii is also in a place where I can see what she plays, and she doesn't use the online features of AC right now, unless her mother or I are in the room, and she only has the FC of friends of hers that we know.

    So yea, it's a parents responsibility to protect their children from harmful things like this. It sickens me that journalists instead point the finger at the companies who make the games such as this.

    Brainiac 8 on
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  • GnomeTankGnomeTank What the what? Portland, OregonRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Sir Carcass wrote: »
    GnomeTank wrote: »
    My daughter just turned five months old

    Dude, what's her friend code

    Oh sure, it's 1345-0912-argahsdglkajsdsasfg

    GnomeTank on
    Sagroth wrote: »
    Oh c'mon FyreWulff, no one's gonna pay to visit Uranus.
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  • SirUltimosSirUltimos Don't talk, Rusty. Just paint. Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Sir Carcass wrote: »
    GnomeTank wrote: »
    My daughter just turned five months old

    Dude, what's her friend code

    Hansen.jpg

    Why don't you take a seat over there?

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  • MinionOfCthulhuMinionOfCthulhu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Rehab wrote: »
    Alright, this is the last fucking time I'm going to say this. Seriously.

    The Animal Crossing Fan Club that I've arranged to meet at the community center on weekends is purely innocent. Just leave us alone already. :cry:

    Perhaps you shouldn't have named it National Animalcrossing Members Belief in Lawful Amazingness.

    MinionOfCthulhu on
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  • LBD_NytetraynLBD_Nytetrayn TorontoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    urahonky wrote: »
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    To be fair, many local TV news stations pull this kind of misrepresented, alarmist crap all the time.

    "Tonight on News 6, find out about 57 common household items that can kill you."

    WHATS IN YOUR FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD DRINK THAT COULD KILL YOU BY MORNING? Find out tonight at 11

    I...Just won't drink till 11. I could be killing myself slowly!

    The sad thing is, I did not make that up. That was actually something the news around here did a few years back

    Really? I'd swear I heard that line on The Simpsons...

    I'd also swear that no one in that report even came close to getting the game online. They were probably spooked at the sight of the blue light from the disc drive like natives seeing a man light a zippo for the first time.

    And after their new god failed to provide them with riches and cure their diseases, they turned on it and made this piece.

    LBD_Nytetrayn on
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  • BearhardtBearhardt Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    As I grow in years I see more and more how the news and media work hard to make ignorant people panic. It's like seeing an expose about how the violence in Gears of War is making children more aggressive (Erm, children shouldn't be playing an M-Rated game).

    On a side note, I also love the antibacterial soap commercials that show gigantic, man-eating CGI bacteria wriggling all over everything. It's fun to encourage uneducated parents to sterilize their children, preparing them for the future extinction of all mankind by a mutation of the cold and flu virus.

    Bearhardt on
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  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So apparently my wife is a pedophile.

    What do I dooooooo

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
  • Bionic MonkeyBionic Monkey Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    Crashmo wrote: »
    So apparently my wife is a pedophile.

    What do I dooooooo

    Dress up in a school boy outfit.

    Bionic Monkey on
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  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Bionic Monkey wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    So apparently my wife is a pedophile.

    What do I dooooooo

    Dress up in a school boy outfit.

    Of course! You, sir, are a genius.

    edit: Hopefully I won't end up having to dress up like a school girl.

    Nah, it'd probably still be worth it.

    Crashmo on
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  • Nimble CatNimble Cat Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I always knew Tortimer was up to something...

    Nimble Cat on
  • ArkanArkan Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Bionic Monkey wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    So apparently my wife is a pedophile.

    What do I dooooooo

    Dress up in a school boy outfit.

    Of course! You, sir, are a genius.

    edit: Hopefully I won't end up having to dress up like a school girl.

    Nah, it'd probably still be worth it.

    Don't lie, we've known dressing up as a school girl has been your secret desire for years.

    Arkan on
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  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'd dress up as a school girl, and have, kind of.

    Oh uhm, boo media!

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  • troublebrewingtroublebrewing Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Sir Carcass wrote: »
    GnomeTank wrote: »
    My daughter just turned five months old

    Dude, what's her friend code

    baaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

    that was terrible.

    troublebrewing on
  • Toxic PickleToxic Pickle Thash grape! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    LBD_Nytetrayn wrote: »
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    The sad thing is, I did not make that up. That was actually something the news around here did a few years back

    Really? I'd swear I heard that line on The Simpsons...

    You may have heard that line on The Simpsons, but there are actually news teasers that start off very much like that. I used to listen to Opie & Anthony, and one segment they did on their show was playing news teasers just like this, to show how absolutely insane it has gotten.

    It's pretty important for people to understand that the news media is not about investigating and telling the truth... it's about ratings and money. Always.

    Toxic Pickle on
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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I just feel sorry for this detective.

    Poor sod must think that he sees child molesters every day, like some kind of depraved Where's Waldo.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • troublebrewingtroublebrewing Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I just imagine them sitting in some mission control environment.

    "DAMMIT MAN WE CAN'T GET A TRACE ON TORTIMER, CONTACT HIS ISP"

    troublebrewing on
  • Toxic PickleToxic Pickle Thash grape! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    tortimer.jpg

    So, what color are you underpants, little boy?

    Toxic Pickle on
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  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    What is it with people destroying Animal Crossing for me

    Now I'm playing with Tom Nook the serial killer and Tortimer the child rapist.

    Sir Carcass on
  • jeddy leejeddy lee Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    I just feel sorry for this detective.

    Poor sod must think that he sees child molesters every day, like some kind of depraved Where's Waldo.

    It's probably Rorschach

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  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    MinionOfCthulhu wrote: »
    Rehab wrote: »
    Alright, this is the last fucking time I'm going to say this. Seriously.

    The Animal Crossing Fan Club that I've arranged to meet at the community center on weekends is purely innocent. Just leave us alone already. :cry:

    Perhaps you shouldn't have named it National Animalcrossing Members Belief in Lawful Amazingness.

    BAHAHA

    Nambla, thats good! :lol:

    Buttcleft on
  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Sir Carcass wrote: »
    What is it with people destroying Animal Crossing for me

    Now I'm playing with Tom Nook the serial killer and Tortimer the child rapist.

    Well, what did you think would happen if you didn't get the home loan paid off? He basically has all of the other animals by the balls being that he is the only game in town.

    You want this new fishing net huh? Well I'll take your bells after you kill that motherfucking deadbeat that just moved in. KILL HIM SO THAT I CAN TAKE BACK ALL OF HIS SHIT AND RESELL IT! BWAH-HA-HA-HA!

    Rehab on
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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    jack eddy wrote: »
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    I just feel sorry for this detective.

    Poor sod must think that he sees child molesters every day, like some kind of depraved Where's Waldo.

    It's probably Rorschach

    Dog carcass in plaza this morning, bus tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are covered in grass and the grass is being worn by repeated running, and when the flowers are no longer planted, all the greenery will die. The accumulated filth of all the turnip farming and fishing will will foam up about the animals' waists and Nook and Tortimer will look up and shout, "First off, I want you to go plant some trees and flowers around my shop."

    And I'll look down and whisper, "No." Then go and fish for eight hours.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • FireWeaselFireWeasel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    jack eddy wrote: »
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    I just feel sorry for this detective.

    Poor sod must think that he sees child molesters every day, like some kind of depraved Where's Waldo.

    It's probably Rorschach

    Dog carcass in plaza this morning, bus tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are covered in grass and the grass is being worn by repeated running, and when the flowers are no longer planted, all the greenery will die. The accumulated filth of all the turnip farming and fishing will will foam up about the animals' waists and Nook and Tortimer will look up and shout, "First off, I want you to go plant some trees and flowers around my shop."

    And I'll look down and whisper, "No." Then go and fish for eight hours.

    This is undiluted awesome.

    Good show, sir.

    FireWeasel on
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  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    jack eddy wrote: »
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    I just feel sorry for this detective.

    Poor sod must think that he sees child molesters every day, like some kind of depraved Where's Waldo.

    It's probably Rorschach

    Dog carcass in plaza this morning, bus tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are covered in grass and the grass is being worn by repeated running, and when the flowers are no longer planted, all the greenery will die. The accumulated filth of all the turnip farming and fishing will will foam up about the animals' waists and Nook and Tortimer will look up and shout, "First off, I want you to go plant some trees and flowers around my shop."

    And I'll look down and whisper, "No." Then go and fish for eight hours.

    *slow clap*

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