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Twilight: The Movie
GuerillaDust
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, I'm not really a 14 year old girl, and yet, I thought the movie was surprisingly enjoyable. Which is weird considering I was bored out of my skull by Harry Potter. Anyone else read these books or watch the movie. The best thing about the movie, regardless of the story, was that it looked absolutely beautiful. Just an amazingly well shot film considering the target audience.
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Everything else in it was bland as rice. Just like the goddamn books. Though, I think that the movie was probably better than the book, as in the book Bella only talks to about 3 people and spends the rest of her time inside her head. All of her "dialogue" with Edward is "Try not to die." "OK, I won't", "You are infuriating", "No, you are", "I love you", "Don't ever leave me", "OK, I won't" repeated 49 times.
I laughed my arse off at hearing the opening line about "I never really thought about how I would die" - my brother said "Whatever, emo" and then the people behind us asked each other "Wait, is this a comedy?"
Also, the special effects with Edward jumping on trees was not great.
Perhaps my favourite plotpoint in the movie (which was changed from the book) is when Bella looks up the myths of the Indian tribe in the area and finds a website which documents them. Nice work, Indians, if you never told anyone how the hell did they make a website about it? Can't trust them, I tell you.
I will agree, the flying looked terrible. He was like some kind of moon gravity squirrel.
The whole emo obsessive stalker thing?
Yeah, it is creepy.
Add into that that it's a controlling emo obsessive stalker and we're talking some serious nonsense.
The book is hilarious though, they really play up the fact that what sets her apart is how much she smells llike she'll taste nice. The SPECIAL thing about her which sets her apart which they allude to so much throughout the book is ultimately nothing but she makes him really hungry. It's just fucking terrible.
Apparently it's also a gentle introduction to Mormon theology, but I haven't really seen that. Of course, I could only really stomach the first book out of morbid curiosity.
I thought it really was that bad, and would have probably walked out if it wasn't for the fact that my sisters bought the ticket for me.
EDIT: The only real redeeming factor was the soundtrack. It was so good I might actually pick up the soundtrack. And the main male lead has quite a nice voice.
This is true.
But that's fairly faint praise.
Beautiful.
A dig at Anne Rice in a Twilight thread by Dan Brown.
wait... you're saying the way to a woman's heart isn't to destroy her financially then manipulate her emotionally until you introduce her broken shell to your golden retriever?
Hmm... that actually might explain a lot..
Too late, huh?
Much more enjoyable if you replace 'vampires' with 'heroin addicts'
I really feel bad for the actor who had to play Edward. I'm surprised he didn't puke, having to choke out some of those lines.
Really, the whole thing reminds me of some shit written by a 14 year old in some fantasy roleplaying game. All fucking Mary Sue/Gary Stu bullshit. I despise how much attention Twilight gets. It does not deserve it.
Do... Re... Mi... So... Fa.... Do... Re.... Do...
Forget it...
I hated this book
Not only because it was terrible derivative LCD muck (which it was)
But because it's possibly the most anti-feminist thng I've ever read ever and Edward is a controlling stalker, not an "ideal man"
Also, I'd get compared to him by my female friends and I should have been more like him
More like a controlling asshole? Got it, guys *rollseyes*
Also, comparing me to a fictional character? Bitch, they're fucking fictional for a reason. Goddamn. They don't fucking exist you harpies. Stop telling me to be more like him.
During the Dark Times (also known as high school when this shit was popular) I was strongly tempted to bring a Playboy to school and wonder aloud why my female friends weren't more like the centerfolds (thinner, prettier, nicer, better-looking, and completely non-existent on personality besides delusional stereotypes)
Funny you should say that - in an interview about the role, the actor (Robert Patkinson, i think?) said pretty much the same thing you did about the writing. How it sounded like Stephanie Meyer just wrote down some of her crazy fantasies and went back and replaced "I" with "she" and "Stephanie" with "Bella."
This is why they are paying attention to it. It speaks to a simple poorly written time in a somewhat reclusive girls life.
haha, yeah I've been wondering about the writing. I've been yet to see the books, but Steven King who usually isn't a big dick, said her writing pretty much sucked hard.
Book 5 of Harry Potter was the shittiest
Why?
Because all Harry does is bitch about his whole life and everything that happens and is generally a cuntbucket
Maybe it was true-to-puberty, but it was irritating to read and repetitive
Now, if you took all the annoying parts of book 5 (every time Harry opens his mouth) and made a 4 book series out of those annoying parts and added a dash of creepy Mormon indoctrination, Voila you got Twilight
Ugh.
Fuck in it's stupid sparkly ass
God
The baseball scene was hilarious in that it was completely ridiculous, but it was still retarded. They have to play in a thunderstorm because their hits sound like thunder? Really? Really? Fuck you
Though it made me realize I would watch a movie about vampires playing various sports
Vampire Football
Vampire Soccer
Vampire Volleyball
Vampire Golf
Vampire Table Tennis (Paint the Line 3: Transylvania Tournament)
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
It makes him sparkle.
EDIT: WTF
It makes him sparkle.
Riced with glitter.
Now, if it had been Solar Flares, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX-wvioPiGg&feature=related
Does anyone have a video of this? I got so curious I braved YouTube search, but OH GOD THE FAN-MADE MUSIC VIDEOS!
Just go watch this hilariously awesome movie instead:
In fact, everyone should watch that movie, right now. It's fantastic like all Stephen Chow movies, but I think it's his best one.
Oh and as for Twilight...the movie made me grin a few times and even laugh because of how awful it is, so if you're a bit like me who can watch a movie if it's bad enough just for the kicks then maybe I could recommend it (not really, there are "better" bad movies). It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth to do so, though.
Just don't read the books, my girlfriend read some of them and when I told her about the movie I wasn't sure if she was laughing or crying.
The book has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The writing never gets so bad it'd actually be funny. It's just... bad. The kind of writing that leaves you with no other feelings than a vague sense of having been cheated. Then you feel confused upon remembering that this shit is popular. Then comes the rage: you want to go on a rampage, viciously paper-cutting 14-year old girls while shouting "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
And while you're being taken away by the police, the girls will stare at their paper cuts, dreamy-eyed, imagining a sparkling vampire adonis valiantly struggling to control his lust for their exposed blood. Then they'll go preorder the next book in the series.