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Surviving being Short
CronoEdge
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
I'm not going to lie, I'm a pretty short dude. I'm 5'6, 140 lbs, and 22. I'm constantly being mistaken for 15 or 16, but I never let it get to me really, until now it seems. I've never been one to whine about my height or care really. I'm not one of those napoleon complex guys who lift weights and act pissed off to try and compensate for their stature. But I dunno I'm starting to feel angry and frustrated about it. I haven't dated in 2 years after a bad break up of a long term relationship. Since then, I got it back together and stayed in college. ( I graduate next year) But, now when i walk around on campus I just don't feel confidence in myself. I cant help but notice everyone walking around is half a foot taller than me at least. Its hard knowing that every girl (short and tall) is looking for a guy that's taller than them, like its some sort of social atrocity if the guy is the same height or shorter. I guess I'm ultimately finding it difficult to stay positive about it.
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I can't fit in the back seat of most compact cars. People can't sit behind me when I drive, because I have to put the seat all the way back.
I was once asked to get adult diapers off a shelf by a complete stranger as I was tall enough to reach them.
I can never find pants in my size, the legs are either too short or too baggy.
My feet hang off the end of a king size bed if I don't curl up.
I cannot put my knees together sitting in an airplane seat. The gap between the front of my seat and the back of the seat in front of me isn't wide enough for me to sit with my back against my seat and my knees together. I have to sit sideways, or with my legs spread. Try doing that for 11 hours flying to Italy. It sucks.
Everyone wants something they don't have, because they think the other side has it better. Just be happy being who you are, that's how you'll attract the right person.
:edit: Edited out an unintentional pun.
I am 5'7 and like Matt said, everything has its advantages and...disadvantages. I like the additional mobility of being shorter and I more than spry enough to reach things if that is ever an issue.
That, or hang out with more asian people. I used to hang out with a group comprised entirely of south asian and asian folk in high school and I was taller than all of them.
I'm 6'8". Don't forget the constant basketball questions, or jokes about weather.
5'6" is a little short, but it's hardly scrawny. Don't get a chip on your shoulder because of it, because it's no different than getting pissed off over the shape of your ears or the size of your dick -- you can't do anything about it. If everyone was tall, then it wouldn't be tall anymore. I'm not going to give you a motivational pep-talk, but unless you act like an angry short dude, people aren't going to care.
I'm 6'3", and I can definately relate to all of these things.
Celing fans sometimes scare the shit out of me cause I know that quite a few of them in older houses are right at the height of my forehead.
About girls liking taller men: That maybe be true, but Lail is probably right, you don't want girls who have that as a primary criterion. Also, I don't get hit on or flirted with too often, but when I do the girls more often that not are taller than me by a good 3-5 inches, so don't lose hope.
My personal experience might not make you feel better, but at least we don't have to be afraid of ceiling fans like biohaz.
Some Fun Facts:
I worked at a middle school last a couple years ago where teachers often thought I was a student skipping class.
Every girl I have ever dated has been taller than me. 2 inches, 3 inches, 1 inch, and my current girlfriend is about one to two inches taller than me.
Height is of little concern if you have enough charisma, enough passion, and enough confidence (whether that be through humor, how you talk about your hobbies, or kindness) to overshadow any concern I, or someone else, might have about my height.
In the event of a house collapsing, you are more likely to escape than a lumbering giant. This will surely be of use in the event of a nuclear holocaust, unless you were at the center of said nuclear holocaust.
And at the very least, ask yourself why you care about something that you ultimately cannot change aside from "heightening." My girlfriend wishes she was shorter since all the girls she know are tiny. Me? I'm happy the way I am and choose to focus on things that I can change, rather than something I was born with.
Height is really just icing on the cake that is you.
I'd actually suggest a bit of a Napoleon complex.
You're worried about girls because you feel inferior to taller guys. Lift some weights, learn to fight (or watch some UFC or whatever). It's sort of a primitive thing but you feel better as a man if you're confident in a physical confrontation. Some comic did a bit on the first thing guys think when they meet another guy is, "could I kick his ass?" But it's true.
Once you stop feeling inferior physically to other guys you'll stop worrying about the girl thing.
I'd say his focus doesn't necessarily need to be physical, or more specifically fighting, since that's pretty useless unless you're a cop or whatnot.
I personally recommend climbing trees - excellent way of getting into shape - and you'd be surprised how many people will join you if you do this in a populated area with friends.
Or you know, academic pursuits. But the thing is making yourself interesting by finding something your passionate about, whether it be something completely dorky or "manly."
Everybody - no matter what height they are - has something about their appearance they don't like, might even hate. Try to remember that, and try not to let it bother you.
EDIT: And yeah, I think the "learn to fight" stuff is kind of pointless. There's plenty of hobbies you can get into that don't have shit to do with your height. Learning a musical instrument, doing stuff outdoors, writing, reading, anything really.
And I've found people shorter than me! The only time being short sucks is when you can't reach the high shelves. :P
Otherwise, being short can be a blessing! In the military, I never had to duck under the wing of a plane, or worry about smacking my head on something. :P
Now that sucks.
you on the other hand get to.
And I guarantee you are tall enough to ride on all the rides at the fair.
Basically you are using your height as the reason why you don't get any action when in actuality you lack the confidence to do so.
Satans..... hints.....
Also, one of the guys most successful with the ladies that I have known is only 5'3; he is extremely confident, and that definitely works in his favour!
But seriously, I'm terribly unconfident. Being tall doesn't help if the person doesn't have a tall spirit. Or something.
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No.
Three ways to read his post:
1.) Being short sucks. I don't like being short.
Answer - As stated many times it's not that bad, can't change it, get over it.
2.) I want some chicks.
Answer - There are billions of girls, everyone gets a girl eventually.
3.) I feel physically inferior to taller guys.
Answer - You can't change your height but you can set yourself up to feel like you're their physical equal otherwise which will make you feel much better about it.
I covered #3. Playing a trumpet will not cover #3. I was not suggesting an arbitrary hobby. I was suggesting a way to not feel subpar physically. As someone with somewhat of a Napoleon complex and having grown up with other short guys who went with the inferiority complex I am very glad I went the route I did. I would rather be sort of scrappy than miserable and gazing at my shoes the second anyone bigger than me looked at me funny like some of my friends growing up did.
I'm thinking this is more about not dating for a couple years than your actual height. Are you getting shot down or are you simply nervous and insecure and not asking anybody at all? Ease back into it - ask that cute girl from your freshman quad out to lunch to catch up, or that girl in your history class to help study for the midterm. College dating at least for me was really organic - do things with people you enjoy and pretty soon something clicks. If it doesn't, then at least you've made some new friends.
Cmon, it ain't that bad being short.
You get certain advantages too.
Eg. like how girls can't complain about u looking at their boobs.
:P
Since it's not your fault to begin with for doing it due to the height difference.
The best way to deal with it is just to ignore it...what else can you do?
If you've ever met a trumpeter, you'll know that they never feel inferior, ever, about anything. Quit the opposite really.
Ninja edit:
Yeah, I went to school with a dude who was just tiny (in height and build) and he got (and still gets I'd wager, given school was only a few years ago) a lot of attention from the ladies.
This.
6'2". Airplane seating is the bane of my fucking existence. ALL of this stuff, honestly. All of it dead-on.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
Right, but you're taken way more seriously professionally and personally (on average you're going to be making tons more cash, something like 10k more for each inch above six foot). Seen as more masculine and attractive etc etc. The tradeoffs is clearly clearly worth it. So let’s not bullshit here. Catching Crouch jokes and having trouble finding well fitting clothes isn’t all that bad compared to the benefits.
As for the "women aren't looking for guys taller than them", they look for other qualities. This is half true, the man being taller is the only universally attractive traits across all cultures. However, firstly 5”6 really isn’t all that short. That’s the average height of a women so seeing them as all being taller then you is likely a psychological thing. Secondly yes confidence is going to help immensely. Because if you’re constantly worrying about how you’re smaller than them it’s going to show, and that really will be a turn off.
Edit: And for all these "I know some woman who's ten feet tall and with a little person" anecdotes. Think honestly of every single couple you know, and count how many of them actually have the guy being shorter? It's vanishingly rare.
develop yellow fever (err... umm... assuming you're not yellow from birth)
asian chicks are generally shorter, and you'll find a huge population of very attractive girls that are about 5' in height
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
Basically what I found works is to find stuff you're good at and you enjoy regardless of how tall/short you are. I was good at baseball when I was younger because even though I was small, I could actually play a decent 2B/SS, and I had an uber small strike zone.
Just find stuff you're good at. Do that stuff. Build up your confidence and let it transfer into other areas of your life.
To the OP: Sometimes it's tougher to be short, but take comfort in the fact that when you do find someone that's right, you'll know full well that she's the kind of person that doesn't heed the ludicrous barriers of society, and is a far better woman for it.
And as I said earlier, it's present world wide (and back through history). It's not just a western thing. So I doubt it's a product of our culture.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Napoleon Bonaparte.
Seriously, you should see your doctor about surgically removing the huge chip on your shoulder.
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
Everything else someone has already said
When i was like 13 years old, bunk bed + ceiling fan = hospital.
If you have any concerns about being hit with a ceiling fan, get wooden blades, preferably thick blunt ones, not sharp steel ones
Also, short man complex, don't take your height so seriously, it's a detriment to your personality, and if someone doesn't like you because of your height, you've now got a terrible attitude to add to that.
I do, however, know more than a handful who prefer guys right around their same height. Like Mysst said, it's all about confidence. Everything is about confidence. You could be the smartest, most attractive and personable person out there, but if you aren't confident in yourself you aren't going to get anywhere.
However, this does not necessarily mean that women will only date taller men, just because that is who they happen to date.
Secondly, a lot of people will state their preferences and then will go out with someone completely different anyway. I mean, I actually always said that I prefer tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed men (and I still do, in many ways). Well, uh, as I said earlier, my husband's an inch shorter than me, and while I have dated guys who have been taller than me, precisely none of them were dark haired or dark eyed. What people look for and what people end up with don't always correspond.
I have friends, too, who state they'd like to be with a taller man, but it hasn't prevented them from going on dates with men who are their height or shorter.
Being short is not something I know about, being 6'4" myself. I never even heard about the girls like tall guys phenomenon until a couple years ago when I started dating a girl who was 6'4". She always talked about how she was relieved to finally not be looking down at someone. I think you might be giving that idea too much creedance though, as I had a hard time in high school getting any kind of steady girlfriend, despite my height and popularity. There are a lot of things that are more important, that aren't immediately obvious, which is why you're probably so concerned with height. Self confidence is a big one, and it sounds like you might be struggling there.
1. why they aren't getting laid
2. why "bad boys" are getting laid
given that nerdy scientists generally have more money and higher social status.
conclusion:
"bad boys" have confidence and ask tons of girls out, they get turned down all the time, but since they approach so many women even their low success rate per encounter ultimately gives favorable results.
The social stigma preventing women from asking men out was also said to factor into this effect, in that if you ask enough women out you are bound to ask one who was thinking of asking you out but hasn't done so because she was shy and social values are such that generally the man does the asking/approaching (although this effect is lessening in recent years).
Your problem is confidence, not height.