Guinea pigs from outer space

WaldFliegerWaldFlieger Registered User regular
edited April 2009 in Artist's Corner
Hello folks!

I write a comic featuring talking guinea pigs from a planet lightyears away from Earth. The current storyline, called "Suffering & Death," has them accidentally winding up in 19th century Russia via a wormhole combined with wacky hijinx.

I would love to hear some honest and critical feedback about said comic; called, strangely enough, "featuring Talking Guinea Pigs!" (exclamation point being part of the title)

As I'm already well into the third chapter, I'm just going to post the first five pages of the first chapter and the first five pages of the latest chapter. I think that should be a pretty decent example of the art and writing style.

The rest of the comic can be found at JoeGP.com if you are kind enough to read more.
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ch1p2.gif
ch1p3.gif
ch1p4.gif
ch1p5.gif
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Thanks!

WaldFlieger on

Posts

  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    My lord! What luck, a good comic to read. I don't even have to critique it!

    I'm particualrly fond of the "I'm a cat!" page.

    Mustang on
  • Solid BonesSolid Bones Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Hehe, I deeply enjoyed that.

    Solid Bones on
    Tea and Scrabble
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i'm a caaaaaat
    i like this comic
    it has my stamp of comic approval

    beavotron on
  • Mr Sgt SirMr Sgt Sir Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Im a cat is excellent.

    Mr Sgt Sir on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Oh man, the left frame of the first page 5 is fantastic.

    NotASenator on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    You are a funny man/woman.

    I tried to come up with a critique, but I've got nothing really.

    Kendeathwalker on
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I also loved the cat pages.
    I also laughed out loud at the "that would suck" Then the blank stare.
    Good stuff man.
    It kinda reminds me of a modern funny mouseguard.

    NakedZergling on
  • WaldFliegerWaldFlieger Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Awesome, I appreciate the positive feedback! Thanks guys!

    But ... is there really nothing to critique? I almost feel like putting up more pages, maybe I just showed the good ones or something... One of my big fears with this storyline is whether I'm simply indulging myself by delving into 19th century Russian characters. I'm trying to keep things funny, and sometimes it's a challenge to walk that balance when I'm also sort of trying to keep an accurate (although extremely superficial) portrayal of my experience with Russian literature (well, Dostoevsky).

    I posted a few of those pages with those characters, I could post more. Or am I just on the right track and should just not worry about it?

    WaldFlieger on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    The first thing that bugged me was the first panel of the first page! First!

    The way the platform deviates from the horizon makes it look a lot closer than it should, expecially since you have smaller guinea pigs in the background, but that doesn't help the scale. It breaks the illusion you'd have. Also desaturating it giving some atmospheric haze would add to the distance effect.

    And the only other small thing I have to say right now is the profile shots of them talking took me a minute to realize that their mouths were open and that the lips weren't just lumps on their necks.

    bombardier on
  • RubberACRubberAC Sidney BC!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    I'm a Cat!
    I'm a cat!
    oh god that was very funny.
    How come Pyotr has reversed eyes

    RubberAC on
  • ObsObs __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm a cat!
    I'm a cat!
    suck my diiiiick
    I'M A CAT!

    Obs on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited March 2009

    But ... is there really nothing to critique? I



    ..I mean your writing and pacing is pretty damn good

    Art wise Im not the biggest fan of the style. Your inking just feels a bit shaky without a whole lot of variation in line width. Id like to see some of the technical objects drawn with actual straight lines and not a sort've wobbly almost straight line.

    I feel your characters could be given a bit more personality (guinea pigs) as in.. short one.. thin one fat one.. etc. You have that going a little bit, but it should really be pushed.

    But I still really enjoyed reading it.

    Kendeathwalker on
  • WaldFliegerWaldFlieger Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Thanks, I appreciate the crits so far. I'm glad the writing is being enjoyed, and so far I pretty much agree with all the critiques of the art. I'm really working on line variation now that I've switched to a tablet. I inked for two years using a brush and ink and never got comfortable enough to be that controlled over my line variation, but I feel like putting in the time has helped me switch to the new digital input faster than perhaps I would have without it. Also, character variation is something I definitely need to work on with the guinea pig characters. The comments about the wonky perspective in the first panel were right on the money, and I will consider that in the future, too.

    Thanks guys! I appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback.

    WaldFlieger on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    As for variation in the character design, a good rule of thumb in cartooning is to make sure that each character is immediately identifiable by their silhouette. examples.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • WaldFliegerWaldFlieger Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    The point about the silhouettes is well-taken. My trick originally was trying to figure out how to retain the basic guinea pig shape and still have that apply. When I make some new designs, I'll try playing with it a bit more.

    I have a quick site-related question, if that's cool.

    I'm redesigning my website to be more "comic-book" oriented because I feel like the way its organized now is more the standard for comic strips. Something along these lines I think would be cool. But I'm wondering how satisfying my comic is one page at a time. And then I began wondering about the possibilities of posting two pages once a week instead of one page twice a week. I'd either do this by uploading two separate files, or by making a wide image with two pages per update.

    What would be more satisfying for you, as a webcomic reader? Would you rather have updates to check throughout the week, or would, in the case of my comic's content, it be more satisfying to only have one check per week but with two pages (probably more closely tied together)? It's a challenge to gauge this stuff without outside input.

    WaldFlieger on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I would rather have a weekly check of 2-3 pages. It also keeps you from having to force a gag out of every page, which can weaken a story when read as a whole Mcninja being an example of something that reads well a couple of pages at a time, but not in a sitting.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Agreed.

    Kendeathwalker on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    As for the silhouettes, hamtaro comes to mind. All of their characters aren't easily defined by silhoette, but a lot of them are from ear placement/size, head-to-body proportion, permanent accessories, etc.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • WaldFliegerWaldFlieger Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Yeah, the forcing a gag per page thing was really what motivated me to want to try something new. It would be so much nicer to have even one extra page to push a concept. So if most webreaders are like you two fine gentlemen, then I guess I'm set!

    Also, looking at Hamtaro is a good suggestion. Thanks!

    WaldFlieger on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    As a reader, I usually check webcomics once a week or so anyway, and having from 2-5 pages to read each week would be awesome.

    ManonvonSuperock on
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