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She didn't love his nuts.

Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLYT O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
edited March 2009 in Social Entropy++
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

Vince, the guy who brought us ShamWow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRISkyV_B8

and the Slapchop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs

Got into a meth fueled brawl with a hooker.

Now obviously Billy Mays is quite pleased about this, as he wants to have a fistfight with Vince.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPLrm3Omkjg&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edlisted%2Ecom%2Fnode%2F30680&feature=player_embedded

Now, what if Vince had won the fight? And he needed to grind up her corpse? He could try the Magic Bullet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtpKjgwi4Sc

Even worse, what if goosebumps crawled up his skin at night at the thought of murdering the hooker in a meth fueled rage? He could wear a Slanket and answer his phone or watch his own infomercials without any hassle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU4MpwoWIKQ

And the Bowflex will help him keep in shape for future brawls.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qFoSJEX4tg

Clearly, infomericals help us in all aspects of our life. Let's talk about their glory.

Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
«13456

Posts

  • ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... ... and hard.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So the Discovery Channel is starting a new series with Billy Mays in a few weeks, apparently.

    This is getting ridiculous.

    ASimPerson on
    redoctober2.pngSE++ Forum Battle Archive
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The look on her face is priceless.

    slapchopvincearrested.jpg

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    YES CASS YES

    Brolo on
    Hey Satan!
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    already posted that in another thread, but I can't repel an OP of that magnitude

    TheySlashThem on
    Eidolon PLaytest! Teenagers With Attitude! Audio Entropy! My Twitter!
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I wonder how much searching it would take for Billy Mays/Vince Rule 42

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i wanted to say this was amazing

    but accurate seems to work better

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The chick in the Magic Bullet infomercial is also in a commercial for one of those erectile dysfunction tablets that you get by mail.

    Magic Bullet indeed.

    DarkPrimus on
    usnTyq4.jpg
    Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I gave my fat clothes to my fat friends.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    he is a terrifying-looking man outside of shamwow commercials

    satansfingers on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    ASimPerson wrote: »
    So the Discovery Channel is starting a new series with Billy Mays in a few weeks, apparently.

    This is getting ridiculous.

    what's it gonna be about?

    because I'm not ashamed to admit I think Billy Mays is awesome

    TheySlashThem on
    Eidolon PLaytest! Teenagers With Attitude! Audio Entropy! My Twitter!
  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Also funny, Billy Mayes was on Kevin and Bean earlier this week and totally called him out.

    Doodmann on
    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    I like to ART
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    http://www.clipser.com/watch_video/429676

    This is an effective infomercial. They hire genuine whores off the street to talk about their product. She's definitely got a lot of whore credibility, and that gives me confidence in her evaluation of these herbal penis enlargement pills.

    Brolo on
    Hey Satan!
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLs5CONwOrg
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8lEQCV3Keg
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ituM7sueZp8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mob5oo_rXM
    THE SECRET IS IN THE INTERNET CONNECTION

    TheySlashThem on
    Eidolon PLaytest! Teenagers With Attitude! Audio Entropy! My Twitter!
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I started listening to that radio show clip but stopped halfway because I have never been so bored.

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    I started listening to that radio show clip but stopped halfway because I have never been so bored.

    Well excuuuuuuuse me Princess

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i got a slapchop device years ago

    not an actual slapchop

    that thing is the shit

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    holy shit that one commercial with the motel is great

    the only time we will ever hear him not yell

    Dely Apple on
    feets.jpg
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    billymayes.png

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I want a PedEgg soooo bad.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Phonehand wrote: »
    i got a slapchop device years ago

    not an actual slapchop

    that thing is the shit

    man I wish I had more things that needed dicing

    Brolo on
    Hey Satan!
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    man it IS late; I actually want a ShamWow now!

    Although I'm sure I'll realize the thing doesn't work and is a sham and they'll say it was in the name.
    Why didn't I see it coming :(

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    neville wrote: »
    man it IS late; I actually want a ShamWow now!

    Although I'm sure I'll realize the thing doesn't work and is a sham and they'll say it was in the name.
    Why didn't I see it coming :(

    JUST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER GOD

    Brolo on
    Hey Satan!
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot wrote: »
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    I started listening to that radio show clip but stopped halfway because I have never been so bored.

    Well excuuuuuuuse me Princess

    Perfect response.

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited March 2009
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqdZ4t1cft4

    DJ Eebs on
  • WoodroezWoodroez Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Huh, I didn't think Vince was 44. That he went whoring, though, not so surprising.

    Woodroez on
    858213-butcher-2.jpg
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    Oxyclean really is some sort of alchemist's brew capable of turning stains into gold, though

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i fucking love billy mays beard

    Projeck on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    neville wrote: »
    man it IS late; I actually want a ShamWow now!

    Although I'm sure I'll realize the thing doesn't work and is a sham and they'll say it was in the name.
    Why didn't I see it coming :(
    they're not a sham, it's just that the same product has been around for a couple of decades and you can get it cheaper

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    man it IS late; I actually want a ShamWow now!

    Although I'm sure I'll realize the thing doesn't work and is a sham and they'll say it was in the name.
    Why didn't I see it coming :(
    they're not a sham, it's just that the same product has been around for a couple of decades and you can get it cheaper

    Tell me more

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    without any pressure, there's 50% of the semen, neville

    we're gonna do this in real time

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    man it IS late; I actually want a ShamWow now!

    Although I'm sure I'll realize the thing doesn't work and is a sham and they'll say it was in the name.
    Why didn't I see it coming :(
    they're not a sham, it's just that the same product has been around for a couple of decades and you can get it cheaper

    tell me again how it's not a sham

    TheySlashThem on
    Eidolon PLaytest! Teenagers With Attitude! Audio Entropy! My Twitter!
  • Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Those Yakuza businessmen didn't want to hear any of it

    Dely Apple on
    feets.jpg
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Woodroez wrote: »
    Huh, I didn't think Vince was 44. That he went a-whorin', though, not so surprising.

    this is the proper term

    Zombiemambo on
    JKKaAGp.png
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Geebs that is amazing.

    DarkPrimus on
    usnTyq4.jpg
    Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    shortcuttomillionstinamilano.jpg.jpg

    Brolo on
    Hey Satan!
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited March 2009
    NOW THAT IS THE POWER OF MIGHTY PUTTY

    DJ Eebs on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Rolo wrote: »
    shortcuttomillionstinamilano.jpg.jpg

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVhEprAlBgY

    hooray there it is

    Brolo on
    Hey Satan!
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited March 2009
    lookit them titties

    DJ Eebs on
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    BREASTS

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited March 2009
    You wonder how people can be so damn dumb as to fall for a con man's outlandish nonsensical pitch.....and then you realize those same gullible people elected Obama.

    DJ Eebs on
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