Ignorance is Bliss

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Posts

  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2009
    man i am in the worst bind

    i hurt my right hand slam dunking a basketball yesterday and i can't grip things

    and lefty sucks

    but i won't get to sleep until i ejaculate

    Killjoy on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Really, though, I don't trust her judgment on food almost ever.

    She's a total vegetarian weirdo hippie.

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Killjoy wrote: »
    man i am in the worst bind

    i hurt my right hand slam dunking a basketball yesterday and i can't grip things

    and lefty sucks

    but i won't get to sleep until i ejaculate

    You gotta bend as faaaaaar as you can.

    And you gotta lick the tip.

    Until it gets you off.

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Use a clamp of some kind

    L|ama on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2009
    none of these options end in me getting a good night's sleep

    Killjoy on
  • nateknatek Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Killjoy wrote: »
    none of these options end in me getting a good night's sleep

    plastic bag, lotion, and some pillows

    natek on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Gafoto wrote: »
    And yes, Houk, people use the word snitch.

    The only people who use the word snitch are drug dealers. Seriously man.
    And they're people!

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Killjoy wrote: »
    man i am in the worst bind

    i hurt my right hand slam dunking a basketball yesterday and i can't grip things

    and lefty sucks

    but i won't get to sleep until i ejaculate
    Do you have a cat?

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    Get a misting spray bottle full of water, then give a slice of wheat bread one solid spray. Lightly sprinkle a standard cinnamon-sugar mix over the bread. Toast. After toasting, give the bread a light run of honey, eat by hand.

    DELICIOUS
    I guess I do the same thing, but use butter.

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Killjoy wrote: »
    man i am in the worst bind

    i hurt my right hand slam dunking a basketball yesterday and i can't grip things

    and lefty sucks

    but i won't get to sleep until i ejaculate

    Wow, so you hurt yourself my being amazingly awesome? Not gonna get a lot of sympathy here, I'm afraid.

    Also, ewwww. How can you be awesome AND masturbate? Those things just dont go together.

    Curly_Brace on
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    everyone masturbates
    some people are awesome
    some awesome people masturbate

    Robcham on
  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    curly are you suggesting that masturbation is bad

    because that is what I'm seeing here

    Snowbeat on
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  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    maybe she is 14

    Robcham on
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    That's like saying going to the dentist is awesome because many awesome people go to the dentist.

    And I'm saying masturbation is generally a pretty not-awesome activity. I am assuming a standard level of awesome, a level too low to make jerkin' it or otherwise touching yourself awesome.
    Robcham wrote: »
    maybe she is 14

    Pffft, I wish.


    wait... what? I just confused myself.

    Curly_Brace on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    what

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
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  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    what I'm saying is you can be awesome and masturbate

    Robcham on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Mutual masturbation is awesome sometimes.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    masturbating being awesome is something else entirely
    mutual masturbation feels nice

    edit: hivemind DP

    Robcham on
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    oh no I got
    opinions

    Robcham on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    oh no I got
    opinions

    what you NEED to got is
    drawing sexy optimus prime

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    but DP you already got sexy optimus

    Robcham on
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I dunno man, taken at their face value I would say mutual masturbation is even less awesome than masturbation. Phone sex, on the other hand, is clearly better/more awesome than either one.

    Also, where in the dark holes of the internet do you find this picture, DP?

    Curly_Brace on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    when you say mutual masturbation

    do you mean you're giving each other manual stimulation

    or that you're both rubbing one out at the same time?

    cause I gotta tell ya I would not be comfortable with the second one at all

    #pipe on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    but who knows? maybe in ten years I'll look back on tonight and say to myself, "ben, old bean, you should have gone partying instead of spending the night listening to hannah montana and insulting pooro"

    unlikely, though

    oh, you most certainly will feel you missed out, hard.
    you probably will lie pretty effectively about it, even to yourself, though, so it's not that much of a problem

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2009
    If you think masturbation isn't awesome you ain't doing it right.

    Run Run Run on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    but DP you already got sexy optimus

    Can never have enough.
    Also, where in the dark holes of the internet do you find this picture, DP?

    Some Japanese artist's site. Don't remember the URL.

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Also, the right thing to do about nude pictures in a relationship is for both partners to have them
    That way, you can keep up the fear of mutually assured social deconstruction

    and jesus your sig is horrible, %member number 7014%

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    My mother and I have reached that weird point where we talk like adults but she still has her "OMG MY LITTLE GIRL" moments.

    So a few weekends back, I took a (rare) night off of work to go see some Professional Bull Riding Built Ford Tough Series Lots of Capitalized Words Qualifying Events series with her.

    Later, with a bottle of wine in a hotel, we got onto the subject, SOMEHOW, of uncircumsized penises (which, by the way, I landslide prefer over the mutilated kind). She mentioned how she, too, prefers her penises to be un-cut and wished the hospital hadn't cut my brother when she was out after delivering him.

    Now, knowing my brother is cut = not a big deal. Lots of North Dakota swimming holes and whatnot growing up, I already knew THAT. But my mother has only slept with two people. My dad, and her recently-ex-husband. Believe you me, the weird knowledge that one is cut and one isn't has bothered me. And more than that, my brain's constant revisitation of the query as to whether it was my father or my step dad with the superior, un-mutilated member has been quite a bother. Because who cares.

    Apparently, me. If she wouldn't have brought that shit up, I would have NEVER thought of it.

    Ignorance could be bliss, if it meant I never had to think about my dad's cock.

    I might ask her on Easter.

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

    enforceruserbarsplitcro.png
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    oogmar wrote: »

    I might ask her on Easter.

    Paint the question on an easter egg

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    drgh.gif

    Robcham on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    NO CIRCUMCISION ARGUMENTS ALLOWED

    edit: rob that reminds me of a simpsons line that always made me giggle

    "Everything here is something"

    #pipe on
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    #pipe wrote: »
    NO CIRCUMCISION ARGUMENTS ALLOWED

    edit: rob that reminds me of a simpsons line that always made me giggle

    "Everything here is something"

    Ah Jesus, I was seriously about to make a long post vis-a-vi my opinions on male circumcision.

    Curly_Brace on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Don't. Just... don't.

    Practically half my infractions are from circumcision threads.

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    circumcision is fun!

    Robcham on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Don't. Just... don't.

    Practically half my infractions are from circumcision threads.

    cutting your posting in half!

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    i see, I see. Did mod intervention result in the threads getting
    cut short?

    EDIT: God damn it.

    Curly_Brace on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Geroge Costanza was right

    No Great Name on
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  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    oogmar wrote: »

    I might ask her on Easter.

    Paint the question on an easter egg

    I was thinking about carving it into the ham, since I won't be eating that dead pig anyway.

    Regarding circumcision: There is no argument. Nature got it right and science got it wrong. BUT, all dicks are fun regardless of what misguided science has done (or not done) to them. yaaay, dicks!

    PS: I'm sure if my mother loved the internet like I do, she could write PAGES about things she would have remained blissfully ignorant of if I had not started talking to her like I was an adult (i.e. rim jobs, tattoo processes, anal sex, vibrators, genital piercings, ritual suspensions, picking at third degree burns, flavored condoms, contraceptive jelly, etc. etc. etc.).

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

    enforceruserbarsplitcro.png
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Your mother sounds like she's a real kinky lady.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    That's how a woman doesn't argue about circumcision.

    No Great Name on
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