Ignorance is Bliss

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Posts

  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Your mother sounds like she's a real kinky lady.

    Haha, hot and single, too.

    With a daughter who absolutely HORRIFIES her every time she mentioned rim-jobs as a normal thing. Poor lady.

    But still, I want to know which one was snipped and which one was whole.

    I'm going to assume the whole one was my dad. Because that means I came from the superior- OH GOD I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AGAIN.

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Just don't think about your mother giving your father a rim-job while she works his uncircumcised shaft with her hands at the same time.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2009
    Giving a rim job to a hairy asshole must be the worst thing.

    Run Run Run on
    kissing.jpg
  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Just don't think about your mother giving your father a rim-job while she works his uncircumcised shaft with her hands at the same time.

    That's a bit easier to think about than the possibility of my genetic makeup coming from a mutilated dick.

    Actually.

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

    enforceruserbarsplitcro.png
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    For a long time I avoided going out to clubs and bars and such because I thought I was "better" than that, but also because I felt intimidated by a side of life I hadn't really experienced and didn't understand.

    So, when I started at uni I went out to bars and clubs at least twice a week. I drank, I danced badly but enthusiastically, I kissed exactly one girl. And finally I realised that I was right the first time* and while I do enjoy socialising I only enjoy doing so in calmer, more mellow environments. So now I only go to bars every once and a while and I avoid night clubs like the plague.

    No regrets though!

    *Not the "being better" bit, that was just stupid.

    Butler on
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    A new born baby's skin is still porous, you can just leave them sitting in a bucket of blood and they'll soak up what they need.
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I learned that the company you keep matters more than the bar/clubs/bedrooms/places you go to

    Robcham on
  • ZoelZoel I suppose... I'd put it on Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Just don't think about your mother giving your father a rim-job while she works his uncircumcised shaft with her hands at the same time.

    You know, before the internet I would have been upset at the thought of my parents having sex.

    But now I know the truth; that worse things lurk in the heart of man.

    Zoel on
    A magician gives you a ring that, when worn, will let you see the world as it truly is.
    However, the ring will never leave your finger, and you will be unable to ever describe to another living person what you see.
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    That will DEFINITELY help!

    oogmar as an alternative to carving your question into questionable foods, you could always wait for the perfect spit-take moment. See if you can get her to shoot mimosa out her nose.
    Everyone else's family drinks on Easter, right..?

    Edit: Primus' idea will definitely help, that is

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Oh yeah, that reminds me:

    A good, long-time friend of mine has decided to become a stripper. She takes her clothes off for lonely men to turn a profit at the same club where a herpes-ridden bitch who ran off with my ex works.

    The shit I know about the industry in Portland has forever ruined my ability to just look at a naked girl and be like, "Cool! Tits and a drink!"

    FFS.

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

    enforceruserbarsplitcro.png
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Giving a rim job to a hairy asshole must be the worst thing.

    I think the hair could be the least of your concerns.

    Gafoto on
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  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Please tell us more of your problems

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
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  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    this has become a pseudo FUCK MY LIFE thing

    Robcham on
  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Hairy ain't half as bad as sweaty.

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

    enforceruserbarsplitcro.png
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    oogmar wrote: »
    Regarding circumcision: There is no argument. Nature got it right and science got it wrong.

    Girl you ain't never seen what my junk used to look like before a doctor put it in working order.

    Butler on
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    A new born baby's skin is still porous, you can just leave them sitting in a bucket of blood and they'll soak up what they need.
  • ZoelZoel I suppose... I'd put it on Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    this has become a pseudo FUCK MY LIFE thing

    more like fuck my fucks

    Zoel on
    A magician gives you a ring that, when worn, will let you see the world as it truly is.
    However, the ring will never leave your finger, and you will be unable to ever describe to another living person what you see.
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    can't shave sweat

    Meissnerd on
    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited April 2009
    sweaty ain't half as bad as covered in warts

    Knob on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    this has become a pseudo FUCK MY LIFE thing

    You got things I'd rather fuck than your life, cutie pie... :winky:

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Robcham wrote: »
    this has become a pseudo FUCK MY LIFE thing

    You got things I'd rather fuck than your life, cutie pie... :winky:

    D:

    Robcham on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    this has become a pseudo FUCK MY LIFE thing

    I don't think it's that bad! You said that thing about the company you keep, which I actually thought was very well-put and true, but quoting it wouldn't have involved the word fuck. So I didn't.

    Swears over schmaltz, that's me.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Robcham wrote: »
    this has become a pseudo FUCK MY LIFE thing

    You got things I'd rather fuck than your life, cutie pie... :winky:

    D:

    Yeah, keep your mouth open, just like that...

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    christ alive these new meds have rendered my porn watching abilities useless

    its not like it gave me e.d. but i'll just be watching a porn, think "this is stupid" and go play fallout or something

    Meissnerd on
    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I learned that drinking when depressed is not a good way to deal
    that's why I stopped drinking


    coz I got depression

    Robcham on
  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    christ alive these new meds have rendered my porn watching abilities useless

    its not like it gave me e.d. but i'll just be watching a porn, think "this is stupid" and go play fallout or something

    Tell me about. It's gotten quite ridiculous for me by now.

    Run Run Run on
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  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Drinking while depressed is a pretty bad idea. It starts out so well, with the woooo and the ahaha, and then it ends with a tepid, backwash-y gulp and staring at your ceiling in a funk while the world spins quietly around you.

    That is also what happens when you drink after taking Nyquil.

    I don't recommend either experience.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    a good way to stop watching porn is to only watch Japanese porn

    Robcham on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    christ alive these new meds have rendered my porn watching abilities useless

    its not like it gave me e.d. but i'll just be watching a porn, think "this is stupid" and go play fallout or something

    I'm just worried because it took meds to give you this realization.

    Secret truth:
    even good porn is really stupid

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    a good way to stop watching porn is to only watch Japanese porn

    massive bushes and crying/shrieking girls

    no thanks

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    christ alive these new meds have rendered my porn watching abilities useless

    its not like it gave me e.d. but i'll just be watching a porn, think "this is stupid" and go play fallout or something

    I'm just worried because it took meds to give you this realization.

    Secret truth:
    even good porn is really stupid

    Well I mean stupid may have been the wrong term. Boring would be better.

    Just losing that commitment? hard to explain

    Meissnerd on
    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Yeah, I don't mean to make fun. It sounds like a pretty lousy thing to have happen, even if you have Fallout as a back-up plan.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    an even better way to stop watching porn is to get into a relationship
    or was is to watch even more porn

    Robcham on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Robcham wrote: »
    an even better way to stop watching porn is to get into a relationship

    doesn't help much if you only see them a few times a year!

    ha ha ha......... ehn.

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited April 2009
    long distance relationship is just code for imaginary girlfriend

    Knob on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    This "girlfriend"... Does she... live in Canada, by any chance?

    Ooh oh, or is she a mail-order bride? I HOPE SHE IS.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    for the last time canadians are not imaginary you dorks!

    Meissnerd on
    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Long distance girlfriends only exist on the internet.

    Macro9 on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Knob wrote: »
    long distance relationship is just code for imaginary girlfriend

    If my girlfriend was a figment of my imagination then I wouldn't have to bother with condoms.

    DarkPrimus on
    dt3GeqU.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Canada sucks moose dick.

    Macro9 on
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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited April 2009
    Macro9 wrote: »
    Canada sucks moose dick.

    while we're on the subject of canada I HAVE LOADS OF SEX WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

    Knob on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    for the last time canadians are not imaginary you dorks!

    I know! I lived there for a year! I was sliding in an Avenue Q reference. It's a compulsion.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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