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PDA, yay or Nay?

24

Posts

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Actually, as long as the friends were hot and willing to go all the way in front of me I'd be okay with it.

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • Toxin01Toxin01 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Kagera wrote: »
    Actually, as long as the friends were hot and willing to go all the way in front of me I'd be okay with it.

    They are both pretty ugly.

    Toxin01 on
    Aiden Baail: Level 1 Swordmage: 19 AC 14 Fort 15 Ref 13 Will (Curse Of The Black Pearls)
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  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Toxin01 wrote: »
    Kagera wrote: »
    Actually, as long as the friends were hot and willing to go all the way in front of me I'd be okay with it.

    They are both pretty ugly.

    Then eat lots of chili before seeing them and if they get all annoying start letting out a symphony of flatulence.

    Nothing else can kill the mood faster.

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I don't mind pda's as long as they're ok with me looking directly at them the whole time.

    That's really my only problem with it is that kind of general desire to give them their privacy, even when they're doing it right in front of you.

    SageinaRage on
    sig.gif
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Elki wrote: »
    Low hanging fruit!

    Except when it's cold.

    :oops:

    JamesKeenan on
  • never dienever die Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Toxin01 wrote: »
    never die wrote: »
    Toxin01 wrote: »
    I have two friends that are dating, and I can't talk to them at all without them being all over each-other, and I find it kind of annoying.

    That can get annoying, yeah. I had friends who were dating and would be all, "hey, wanna hang out?" and then maybe ten minutes in they would be all over each other. Not cuddling or anything like that, it was hardcore snogging. That got old real fast.

    Well, it's not even anything hardcore, it's just CONSTANT.

    Like, I can't even finish a sentence without them giving eachother a peck on the lips while he they stand their wrapped around each-other.

    I mean fuck I just wanna punch them in the face ugh. I don't know, I just think it's rude.

    Meh, if they are doing it constantly and it gets on your nerves, perhaps mention it?

    The only time constant affection, besides the invite then ignore I mentioned previously, has bothered me was when I had two sets of friends dating each other, three of the four of whom were pretty close friends. I had been single for quite a long time, and just seeing them always together, smiling, arms around each other, etc just started to bother me for awhile, as it seemed I couldn't even be around my close friends without ever being reminded that I was single. I know it was mostly my problem and my insecurities, but it still got to me at times.

    never die on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    Casual Eddy on
  • Teslan26Teslan26 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    That must be tough.

    It should not be like that, and for me seeing gays being affectionate is just as cute as heteros, though both less hot that lesbians...

    Teslan26 on
  • Willy-Bob GracchusWilly-Bob Gracchus Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    There are limits. A friend of mine has been with his girlfriend for about 9 months or so. Once she has two drinks in her, she simply can't keep her hands, or lips, off him. At first, I thought it was kind of sweet, and I was delighted for my buddy that he'd hooked up with a really nice, really hot girl who clearly thinks the world of him. But it's got to the point where it's just plain uncomfortable sitting in the pub with them if it's a small group. If it's a bigger group, and I want to have a conversation with the guy, then I'd better have it in the first 45 minutes of arriving at the pub, because after that it's the next best thing to lap-dancing. I don't mind PDAs in general, but I find it fucking rude when I'm speaking to somebody and mid-sentence the person I'm addressing is heavy-petting and frenching 2 fucking yards away. I'm no Oscar Wilde, but my talk ain't that small. His girlfriend is great and all, and I get on fine with her, but I sure as shit wish she had gotten more hugs as a kid, or dated less assholes in the past, or whatever it is that requires her to convince herself that my buddy isn't going to disappear in a puff of smoke. Me and my buddy are both 31, she's 28 or so, at this stage I just expect people to have bit more self-control.

    /rant

    Willy-Bob Gracchus on
  • Toxin01Toxin01 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    never die wrote: »
    Toxin01 wrote: »
    never die wrote: »
    Toxin01 wrote: »
    I have two friends that are dating, and I can't talk to them at all without them being all over each-other, and I find it kind of annoying.

    That can get annoying, yeah. I had friends who were dating and would be all, "hey, wanna hang out?" and then maybe ten minutes in they would be all over each other. Not cuddling or anything like that, it was hardcore snogging. That got old real fast.

    Well, it's not even anything hardcore, it's just CONSTANT.

    Like, I can't even finish a sentence without them giving eachother a peck on the lips while he they stand their wrapped around each-other.

    I mean fuck I just wanna punch them in the face ugh. I don't know, I just think it's rude.

    Meh, if they are doing it constantly and it gets on your nerves, perhaps mention it?

    The only time constant affection, besides the invite then ignore I mentioned previously, has bothered me was when I had two sets of friends dating each other, three of the four of whom were pretty close friends. I had been single for quite a long time, and just seeing them always together, smiling, arms around each other, etc just started to bother me for awhile, as it seemed I couldn't even be around my close friends without ever being reminded that I was single. I know it was mostly my problem and my insecurities, but it still got to me at times.


    Well, to be fair, my dating life can be summed up with this video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHIhzG66ONU&feature=related

    Toxin01 on
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  • never dienever die Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    I'll be honest with you, if I was sitting around two guys and one of them suddenly gave the other a quick peck, I would be weirded out(As living in southern Indiana, I don't see openly affectionate gays very often, it would take awhile for me to get used to it). Still, it shouldn't stop you from showing some affection to the person you care about, because that bothering me is my problem, not yours.

    never die on
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    There are limits. A friend of mine has been with his girlfriend for about 9 months or so. Once she has two drinks in her, she simply can't keep her hands, or lips, off him. At first, I thought it was kind of sweet, and I was delighted for my buddy that he'd hooked up with a really nice, really hot girl who clearly thinks the world of him. But it's got to the point where it's just plain uncomfortable sitting in the pub with them if it's a small group. If it's a bigger group, and I want to have a conversation with the guy, then I'd better have it in the first 45 minutes of arriving at the pub, because after that it's the next best thing to lap-dancing. I don't mind PDAs in general, but I find it fucking rude when I'm speaking to somebody and mid-sentence the person I'm addressing is heavy-petting and frenching 2 fucking yards away. I'm no Oscar Wilde, but my talk ain't that small. His girlfriend is great and all, and I get on fine with her, but I sure as shit wish she had gotten more hugs as a kid, or dated less assholes in the past, or whatever it is that requires her to convince herself that my buddy isn't going to disappear in a puff of smoke. Me and my buddy are both 31, she's 28 or so, at this stage I just expect people to have bit more self-control.

    /rant

    Do you have hemorrhoid problems and liver spots and kids always being on your damn lawn? :D

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • dispatch.odispatch.o Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I think there's a pretty big difference between affection and trying to fuck someone through the pants in the middle of a restaurant. I also find two men kissing repulsive, but I find a man and woman or two women kissing just as hideous.

    Why?

    Because I bet neither of them have brushed their teeth in half a day and it's not exactly an attractive thing to a bystander. There are plenty of things that are sort of fun to do, that are never fun to watch.

    dispatch.o on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    never die wrote: »
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    I'll be honest with you, if I was sitting around two guys and one of them suddenly gave the other a quick peck, I would be weirded out(As living in southern Indiana, I don't see openly affectionate gays very often, it would take awhile for me to get used to it). Still, it shouldn't stop you from showing some affection to the person you care about, because that bothering me is my problem, not yours.

    QFT

    Look, there are days when I'm lonely and I'm put off by seeing other people locking lips in public.

    But that's my own damn problem.

    Feral on
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  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Op's boyfriend is dumb, you should throw rocks at him.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    On the subject of PDA, normally if I'm alone with a girl and making out, I'll keep my eyes closed. Its standard, I got that.

    Question though, if you dont want to get caught making out with a girl, say outside the apartment door..or a little ways off from the group at the bonfire; is it ok to keep my eyes partially opened to make sure no one walks up on us?

    Element Brian on
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  • KilroyKilroy timaeusTestified Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Feral wrote: »
    never die wrote: »
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    I'll be honest with you, if I was sitting around two guys and one of them suddenly gave the other a quick peck, I would be weirded out(As living in southern Indiana, I don't see openly affectionate gays very often, it would take awhile for me to get used to it). Still, it shouldn't stop you from showing some affection to the person you care about, because that bothering me is my problem, not yours.

    QFT

    Look, there are days when I'm lonely and I'm put off by seeing other people locking lips in public.

    But that's my own damn problem.

    This.

    While I may fine certain levels of PDA personally distasteful, I'm not going to condemn anyone for it, because a.) it's their own damn business, and b.) I'd probably be doing the same thing if I were in their position.

    And seeing homosexual couples being openly affectionate makes me happy, because it means they feel comfortable, which is always something I strive for.

    Kilroy on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Op's boyfriend is dumb, you should throw rocks at him.

    Out of affection, of course. Just as a rule of thumb, anytime you would hug/kiss/hold hands with him, wing a rock at him instead.

    KalTorak on
  • AsiinaAsiina ... WaterlooRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Eh, I'm not against PDA in general either involving myself or having friends do it, but it really depends on the situation. I think it's really rude to be out with a small group of good friends and just decide that you can't contain yourself anymore so you have to spontaneously start making out. These are your friends and there's no way you can't tell that you are making them uncomfortable. Do you all value your friends so little?

    Like maybe your boyfriend knows one of your friends is feeling pretty down for being single. Or maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable. Holding hangs and hugging seem pretty tame.

    If you're just out with the two of you though, with nobody but strangers then I say who cares. It's only when you're with people you are friends with and will make them uncomfortable that you start to become insensitive and rather annoying.

    Asiina on
  • CervetusCervetus Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    What other people think is poppycock. Hell, I'm a completely straight male and just last Friday I had a tender public hug with a straight guy I hadn't seen in a while.

    At least I think he's straight.

    Cervetus on
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Cervetus wrote: »
    I don't feel comfortable with PDAs. I am a dude that is into other dudes and well the only time I ever feel comfortable even holding hands is when there is no one else around, or I'm fairly drunk at we're a party with friendly faces. Even if I know we aren't going to get harassed, I just can't do a PDA with my boyfriend unless it's something really fleeting like a shoulder squeeze or whatnot. I get too anxious and worried about what other people think.

    What other people think is poppycock. Hell, I'm a completely straight male and just last Friday I had a tender public hug with a straight guy I hadn't seen in a while.

    At least I think he's straight.

    Was his 'gun' digging into your hip?

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I know I shouldn't feel anxious about it, but I've never been able to go through with things like not caring what other people think. I would probably feel anxious about it if I were walking through the gay district of a city. It's something I've just trained myself to do. I could walk down the streets of chapel hill holding hands with the boy and I probably wouldn't get anything other than a few glances, but it wouldn't be worth how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

    Casual Eddy on
  • variantvariant Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Am I the only one who thought this was going to be about PDAs as in the device?
    I was gonna be all "Lawl, who uses those any more? My phone has more computing power!"

    variant on
  • DalbozDalboz Resident Puppy Eater Right behind you...Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm in a middle ground. I have no problems holding hands, hugging, or even kissing around other people. Maybe full on making out might be a bit much, but if the mood is right... :winky:

    I dated a girl who was very anti-PDA. When we were in my apartment, she had no trouble being all over me, with no scruples as to where he hands or mouth would be (I'm talking kissing, pervs; get your minds out of the gutter). But once we stepped out the door, she was reluctant to even hold my hand. If she was over at my place, I would always walk her out to her car when she needed to leave, and even then I could tell that she felt uncomfortable giving me goodbye kiss, to the point she'd usually give me more of a kiss before we walked out the door, but at her car it would usually be a quick peck at best.

    Admittedly, I'm not the best at holding hands because I get tunnel-visioned. I was holding the hand of this same girl once when we were walking along and started crossing the street. She tripped and fell, but for some reason I was so focused on getting across the street that I kept walking while holding her hand and started dragging her along. She yelped which brought me to my senses, and I helped her up and got her across the street. Fortunately, she wasn't hurt or anything, and actually started laughing so hard her eyes were tearing up.

    Dalboz on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    There are only two reasons I can imagine someone being super against PDA of any kind.

    1. They are gay and don't want to get weird looks or get stoned(if you are in the midwest)

    2. They aren't that into you, because if they were they wouldn't care what other people thought, to a point, and that point would be pretty far past holding hands.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
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  • HozHoz Cool Cat Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    never die wrote: »
    I'll be honest with you, if I was sitting around two guys and one of them suddenly gave the other a quick peck, I would be weirded out(As living in southern Indiana, I don't see openly affectionate gays very often, it would take awhile for me to get used to it). Still, it shouldn't stop you from showing some affection to the person you care about, because that bothering me is my problem, not yours.

    I have a gay brother and I get weirded out by gay pda. It's like instinctual homophobia or something. The feeling doesn't go away you just get used to ignoring the feeling.

    Hoz on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    mcdermott wrote: »
    I do this at traffic lights.

    Yeah we're not past that stage yet.
    Do you really want to get past that stage?
    No, but I assume it has to happen someday.
    It'll happen if only because you'll get lazy and grow tired of the paranoia. You'll be all like "well if you're going to kill me, I suppose now would be a good moment to go out on."

    Hacksaw on
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I can't say I'd be weirded out by it but then again I've never really had to deal with it so maybe I would.

    Hell for all I'd know I'd try to join in. :P

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Hoz wrote: »
    never die wrote: »
    I'll be honest with you, if I was sitting around two guys and one of them suddenly gave the other a quick peck, I would be weirded out(As living in southern Indiana, I don't see openly affectionate gays very often, it would take awhile for me to get used to it). Still, it shouldn't stop you from showing some affection to the person you care about, because that bothering me is my problem, not yours.

    I have a gay brother and I get weirded out by gay pda. It's like instinctual homophobia or something. The feeling doesn't go away you just get used to ignoring the feeling.

    hell, I'm certainly surprised whenever I see two guys/girls doing a PDA

    definitely still do a double take

    Casual Eddy on
  • HozHoz Cool Cat Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Sounds like heterophobia to me. Bigot.

    Hoz on
  • chaosbearchaosbear Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    My wife and I are both really affectionate, like we think nothing of hugs, holding hands, light kisses in public. In lines, she loves to lean against me and have my arms wrapped around her. I know that in many ways it's selfish of us and I really don't wish to make others uncomfortable, but I love how warm touching her makes me feel and I love knowing that she wants me to touch her, that me wanting to touch her makes her feel loved. So that ends up being the biggest consideration for me.

    chaosbear on
  • GoodOmensGoodOmens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Overall, I don't mind people PDA'ing. Depending on context, I don't even mind stumbling across two people snogging; it kinda does your heart good to see two happy folks laying in a park on a nice warm day having fun.

    That said, it does bug me when my students (high school) are sucking face in the hallway. First because they tend to be so bad at it, and also because they get in the fucking way. I'm trying to get to the Xerox machine, Mr. Pimple Face Boy and Ms. Kleenex for a Skirt!

    GoodOmens on
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  • MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm generally fairly anti-PDA.

    What really gets to me more than PDAs, though, is fighting in public. I'm big on suppressing your real feelings and then dealing with them in private. I've been witness to some nasty fights between my friends and it's not something I'd like to repeat--the amount of awkward that occurs when being in the same room as two people fighting, one of whom is crying, well, it's pretty extreme.

    MrMister on
  • MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I know I shouldn't feel anxious about it, but I've never been able to go through with things like not caring what other people think. I would probably feel anxious about it if I were walking through the gay district of a city. It's something I've just trained myself to do. I could walk down the streets of chapel hill holding hands with the boy and I probably wouldn't get anything other than a few glances, but it wouldn't be worth how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

    A: Do you live in Chapel Hill? Because UNC Chapel Hill is a really good school for philosophy, and I know at least one person going there for their grad degree.

    B: Story this reminds me of: recently I was at a party at a friend's place near berkeley, and one of the guys who was trying to teach me flip cup said that it was a lot like fingering a girl. I was like "well... kinda gay over here." He laughed a bunch and was cool about it, and I remember feeling so grateful, and liking him so much for that. Of course, why should I be grateful that he wasn't grossed out by me? I deserve that, there's no need for gratitude on my part. But it's really hard to get out of the mentality, and that's what I was reminded of by what you said--the social conditioning against the gays makes it really hard to feel fully confident in yourself and all that.

    MrMister on
  • Willy-Bob GracchusWilly-Bob Gracchus Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Kagera wrote: »
    There are limits. A friend of mine has been with his girlfriend for about 9 months or so. Once she has two drinks in her, she simply can't keep her hands, or lips, off him. At first, I thought it was kind of sweet, and I was delighted for my buddy that he'd hooked up with a really nice, really hot girl who clearly thinks the world of him. But it's got to the point where it's just plain uncomfortable sitting in the pub with them if it's a small group. If it's a bigger group, and I want to have a conversation with the guy, then I'd better have it in the first 45 minutes of arriving at the pub, because after that it's the next best thing to lap-dancing. I don't mind PDAs in general, but I find it fucking rude when I'm speaking to somebody and mid-sentence the person I'm addressing is heavy-petting and frenching 2 fucking yards away. I'm no Oscar Wilde, but my talk ain't that small. His girlfriend is great and all, and I get on fine with her, but I sure as shit wish she had gotten more hugs as a kid, or dated less assholes in the past, or whatever it is that requires her to convince herself that my buddy isn't going to disappear in a puff of smoke. Me and my buddy are both 31, she's 28 or so, at this stage I just expect people to have bit more self-control.

    /rant

    Do you have hemorrhoid problems and liver spots and kids always being on your damn lawn? :D
    gran-torino-clint-eastwood.jpg&usg=AFQjCNGqNEb2d1oTRloITl7hBCqHBwRuGA:P

    It goes a little something like this:

    Buddy: Hey Willy-Bob, what happened with that job interview?
    Me: Really good, I think I'll get called back on the next round.
    Buddy: What's the job spec?
    Me: Well, I'd be based out in Citywest in their...
    <oh, right, so she's gone from holding his hand to stroking his upper thigh and frenching him>
    Me: ...
    Me: ...
    <and now she's climbing into his lap. In a quiet, old-fashioned pub. It's 5pm. She's had a glass and a half of Sauvignon Blanc. They're the ones who suggested going for a drink.>
    Me: ...
    <oh for fuck's sake...>
    Me: I'm going to the bar.
    Buddy: Slopslobslop... Ahem, uh, can you grab me one while you're at it? Slopslobslop

    Willy-Bob Gracchus on
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2009
    I wish my boyfriend wasn't so against it, because it's incredibly harmless, and our friends know we're dating, so why can't they see us being happy? I understand what he's getting at, btu I don't understand at the same time.

    And who cares if strangers sees us holding hands? .... ????
    I'm probably late, but the key fact here is that he's an idiot. Tell him the internet says so.

    The Cat on
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  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    The Cat wrote: »
    I wish my boyfriend wasn't so against it, because it's incredibly harmless, and our friends know we're dating, so why can't they see us being happy? I understand what he's getting at, btu I don't understand at the same time.

    And who cares if strangers sees us holding hands? .... ????
    I'm probably late, but the key fact here is that he's an idiot. Tell him the internet says so.

    The Canadian Internet concurs with the Australian Internet.

    PeregrineFalcon on
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