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Depressed over leaving high school early.
altusername2468
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Hey all, sorry if theres not really a question here, I just need to get stuff out and I would like to here your view point.
I am a senior in high school right now taking only college classes. After sophomore year I joined a program that pays for college classes (the classes double as high school and college credit) and pays for my books.
However I've been feeling very sad lately (I think depressed) because I feel that I've missed out on half my high school career, which is obvious since I made that choice...its just hard because I know that I don't have those experiences. I still stay in touch with some of my friends from high school through swim team (I still go to the once a week meetings and participate in the meets), but I'm still not "one of them" anymore, you know?
Something that set this off for me, I think, was me not attending senior prom. My college program technically had one, but I know absolutely no one in the program so I didn't go. Thats not whats bothering me though...my high school had one a few weeks ago but I didn't go, mainly because a few of the people that I still talk to outside of swim told me it was lame, and plus I didn't have a date. I regret that now and it feels like I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I feel like I missed out on some experience that everyone can share, and now I can't...I don't know how to explain it, its just weird.
The funny thing is, all my high school friends are incredibly jealous of me. "Oh you get to go to classes whenever you want", "It must be so nice to be in college and out of high school", and it is, I'm not denying that. The freedom is great. But I DO miss having a set lunch time, or having Spanish class with Ms. Wilson, or even Varsity Quiz after it...I miss all of it. Even as I type this my throat is clenching up, and I don't really ever cry.
Is this normal? Can someone remind me why high school sucks? I don't know what I'm looking for...I think just reassurance that I made the right choice.
Any other type of advice is welcome as well. Anything that will make me feel better...it doesn't have to be reassurance, just help that makes it stop hurting.
I am a senior in high school right now taking only college classes. After sophomore year I joined a program that pays for college classes (the classes double as high school and college credit) and pays for my books.
However I've been feeling very sad lately (I think depressed) because I feel that I've missed out on half my high school career, which is obvious since I made that choice...its just hard because I know that I don't have those experiences. I still stay in touch with some of my friends from high school through swim team (I still go to the once a week meetings and participate in the meets), but I'm still not "one of them" anymore, you know?
Something that set this off for me, I think, was me not attending senior prom. My college program technically had one, but I know absolutely no one in the program so I didn't go. Thats not whats bothering me though...my high school had one a few weeks ago but I didn't go, mainly because a few of the people that I still talk to outside of swim told me it was lame, and plus I didn't have a date. I regret that now and it feels like I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I feel like I missed out on some experience that everyone can share, and now I can't...I don't know how to explain it, its just weird.
The funny thing is, all my high school friends are incredibly jealous of me. "Oh you get to go to classes whenever you want", "It must be so nice to be in college and out of high school", and it is, I'm not denying that. The freedom is great. But I DO miss having a set lunch time, or having Spanish class with Ms. Wilson, or even Varsity Quiz after it...I miss all of it. Even as I type this my throat is clenching up, and I don't really ever cry.
Is this normal? Can someone remind me why high school sucks? I don't know what I'm looking for...I think just reassurance that I made the right choice.
Any other type of advice is welcome as well. Anything that will make me feel better...it doesn't have to be reassurance, just help that makes it stop hurting.
altusername2468 on
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Oh and a bit of a news flash: not being "one of them" happens. Particularly after senior year. Everyone moves away to school and meets new people. You will retain all the good friends you've made in high school, and you might even be surprised at the amount of people who want to remain in contact, what with e-mail, facebook, etc. I wouldn't sweat the fact that you didn't go to high school as long as your friends did. In fact, I'd listen to what they say about it and be happy. It sounds like you just don't spend enough time with them. You don't have to be in the same school for that.
Your early twenties are probably gonna be a hell of alot more magical, and by magical I mean drunken.
Prom is just like any other high school dance with more bs tacked on
Bolded parts are highly related. :P
And yes, having a jump-start on life now will mean that you'll have that leg up later on.
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So are you in college now, or just taking college credits? If you're still going to a university, I would encourage you to go away fro school, as that's usually more missed than HS. Even if you stay local for college, try to get into the dorm or live with other students, as you'll have a much better time.
don't be. if you are of above average (and depending on the school even average) intelligence, you gain nothing from being in high school.
What got me over my social bump was the fact that the world is so much greater than high school.
Don't get me wrong I had fun in high school. Walking home from school and stopping by the gas station to pickup sodas and ice cream with a big group to go playing video games all weekend and arguing about ninjas and pirates and stupid stuff like that, throwing movie nights and so many other things that was burning time with anything I could. It came down to I had already experienced high school and there are so many more things to experience in the world.
I wanted to move out the house and I wanted to go to university despite my parents not being able to send me there. I wanted to climb mountains and canoe rivers and swim seas and see the world and write and do a bunch more stuff and and...
They're jealous of you because you're ahead. Its natural to long for good days that have passed but don't let that prevent you from making your life as a college student a great experience full of friends and laughter and love and even more days you can look back at as a great time of your life.
Appreciate those memories as memories. Look back at them not with longing for good days long gone but as a comforting thought of what good days are when you're having bad days. The past has an everchanging claim on the future and it is you who helps define that.
Distance in time lends two things to memory:
- Perspective
- Distortion
The further you are, time-wise, from your high-school age years, the more you're going to be able to see them for what they were. Plus, because you didn't have the "full high school experience", you're going to have less distortion to deal with. You won't have as much to romanticize when you're engaging in nostalgia.This is not a bad thing. This is a good thing.
Because what you're already dealing with, the rest of your peer-group is going to be dealing with in the next couple of years. High school, while it can feel like the most important thing that's ever going to happen to you during that few years, is a tiny tiny fraction of the person you're going to become and the life you're going to lead. Most of the friends you know in high school you'll never see again afterward (or for more than a few years afterward.) You can see this as a sad thing, but it's just a thing. It's a life thing.
tl;dr version:
You're better off for not having burdened yourself with two more years of high school in an effort to stop and smell roses that will only smell sweet when you remember them 20 years down the road.
You're problem is that you need to meet some of the people in your placement classes and hang out with them. You're getting a massive leg up on the people still in high school, seriously take full advantage and enjoy it. College is the time you really get to have fun and find yourself, don't hamstring yourself by wishing you hadn't missed some arbitrary event in high school.
Quoted for Truth.
I took a ton of advanced classes too, but I really only had two true friends in High School I like and understood me, made more friend in college and had the Magical High School Experience that 90210 shows on T.V.
Just use a condom.
And it only gets better after freshman year. Trust me.. high school isn't all that great.
Nah.
It was expensive for the suit and the flowers and the corsage and driving 30 miles for dinner (I went to high school in the mountains) and then paying for an overpriced dinner and then driving 20 more miles to the dance and then...you get my point. Hell, even the tickets cost 25 dollars each. That's a good chunk of change for a guy working at a pizza place.
It doesn't seem that way now, but I'd consider you lucky for not going to your prom.
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kid is depressed over leaving school -> kid as zanny adventure -> kid is ok with leaving high school and learns about the meaning of live and everything
Look forward to college, and be grateful you are getting your education now, before living in the dorms ruins it when your new best friend from across the hall, (because you won't realize your roommate is actually a pretty decent guy until a semester in when you smoke with him for the first time) wakes your ass up to go to a party where the girl to guy ratio is 3:1 and they are already drunk.
'
Just let that thought guide you to college.
Shit like that never happens in High School.
High School was more like... lets go to target, again.
Oh and in regards to prom....
I went to two, of a possible three. Total Cost: Prob around 600 bucks overall, for two completely forgettable nights for me.
Prom is more of a girls thing, kind of like the pre-screening of what a wedding will be like.
You're just expected to show up and pay.
Oh but there are. This may be a scenario only really seen in small towns. But pretty much every super cool person who went to my high school, inevitably couldn't let go, they still live there, only now they populate dive bars instead of gas station parking lots. That's not to say I don't still have a few friends from high school, and I still wander back home to hang with the parents from time to time. There's really nothing pathetic about staying in the place you've grown up, but yeah, I have to wonder when I go home and meet the basketball star from my class who's paunchy and selling used cars, you can see it in his eyes, he's still living that dream...
Yeah, I think part of the problem is that I'm going to college but still treating it like high school, in a way. Like, I don't live on campus, I socialize mainly with my friends in high school, etc, so I don't really have a chance to see how much better college is than high school. I'm kind of in a stasis.
Next year I'm definitely going to be experiencing it fully...I'm transferring from my current school to Berkeley in Fall and I'll be living on campus. I guess its just nostalgia.
Like I said, it was just the experiences that I missed.
Oh, I don't disagree that there are people who peaked in high school and spend the rest of their lives being Al Bundy about it.
I'm just disagreeing with the contention that the only people who wish they could go back (temporarily anyway) to their high school days are said pathetic man-children.
I hear ya, I was only fifteen (nearly sixteen) when I graduated high school. Sometimes I wonder about 'the Prom', and what would have happened if I had gotten to know some of those people better. It would have been cool to share in some of those moments.
As it was, college was better. I was where I was supposed to be, and the people around me were more my speed. I got to choose my friends, by merit rather than location, and I've been in touch with them ever since. The lack of those high school experiences were an opportunity cost, and there is something to be said about the feeling you get when you lack an experience that many other people have had- like you're missing out, or have less in common.
Consider though, that you are where you are because you are not common. You just happen to be going through some of the first experiences and feelings that bring that divergence home to you on a real level. You're already aware of the upside, and I'd encourage you to keep focused on the things you get to do that most people won't. Just like you feel you might be missing out on some of thier things, they'll be missing out on yours. It's a balance, and it makes itself right in the end.
Don't be worried about leaving the beaten path, other people have that covered. Set your mind forward on where you need to go, and you'll meet others going the same way soon enough.