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Strain 121
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Okay so this is ridiculous.
All right so as of today, it's been two weeks since my ex broke up with me. It was her first relationship ever and all that. She said she just stopped being attracted to me (Made a thread about that and everything). But now she's acting strange, and I don't really understand it.
Last week ago today, I was sick from school, and when she got home we talked completely normally. She had to go, but before she did she made sure to ask if I was going to be at school the next day. I said "Yeah why?" and she just signed off. I told myself it was nothing and moved on.
The next day I was acting normally and we talked a bit, but it was hard because like... it just seemed like there was some sort of tension between us. That was normal and all. But Thursday, whenever I talked to her it turned into her either trying to ignore me or her just making fun of me in a not quite joking way. I was like "uhh okay" and chalked it up to her having a bad day. That night we talked on AIM and she seemed a combination of distant and annoyed. Friday morning, I sat next to her in the library (none of our other friends were there), where she completely ignored me even sitting down. I eventually asked where everyone else was as a sort of "jeez why isn't there anyone else here haha" kinda thing and she just said "Probably somewhere else, like upstairs" and went back to her work.
Either that night or Saturday night, I sent her an email basically just asking what was up, if she was mad at me, if she needed more time, or if it was nothing. I worded it very non-aggressively, and everyone I've showed the email to agrees that I didn't say anything "bad" in it. Since then we haven't exchanged a word (online or otherwise) or even really made eye contact. She seemed to completely ignore the email.
I've stopped being attracted to her. I'm not really awkward around her except for when I feel like I have to be absolutely perfect or else she'll insult me and leave. That kind of makes things hard. So what can I do? I really don't know why she's suddenly started acting so different, but it's really bothering me and I feel there's nothing I can really do. One of my friends suggested just giving up on trying to be her friend for a while - that seems retarded to me. I've kind of asked our mutual friends if she's mentioned anything at all about me lately and they have all said no. So...
How do I find out what's wrong? I already tried just sending a little email, but I don't want to make a big scene and make it all awkward by saying "WHY DON'T YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME?!?!?!" or something like that.
How do I fix it? It just seems like everything I do right now is bad to her. How do I change this?
All right so as of today, it's been two weeks since my ex broke up with me. It was her first relationship ever and all that. She said she just stopped being attracted to me (Made a thread about that and everything). But now she's acting strange, and I don't really understand it.
Last week ago today, I was sick from school, and when she got home we talked completely normally. She had to go, but before she did she made sure to ask if I was going to be at school the next day. I said "Yeah why?" and she just signed off. I told myself it was nothing and moved on.
The next day I was acting normally and we talked a bit, but it was hard because like... it just seemed like there was some sort of tension between us. That was normal and all. But Thursday, whenever I talked to her it turned into her either trying to ignore me or her just making fun of me in a not quite joking way. I was like "uhh okay" and chalked it up to her having a bad day. That night we talked on AIM and she seemed a combination of distant and annoyed. Friday morning, I sat next to her in the library (none of our other friends were there), where she completely ignored me even sitting down. I eventually asked where everyone else was as a sort of "jeez why isn't there anyone else here haha" kinda thing and she just said "Probably somewhere else, like upstairs" and went back to her work.
Either that night or Saturday night, I sent her an email basically just asking what was up, if she was mad at me, if she needed more time, or if it was nothing. I worded it very non-aggressively, and everyone I've showed the email to agrees that I didn't say anything "bad" in it. Since then we haven't exchanged a word (online or otherwise) or even really made eye contact. She seemed to completely ignore the email.
I've stopped being attracted to her. I'm not really awkward around her except for when I feel like I have to be absolutely perfect or else she'll insult me and leave. That kind of makes things hard. So what can I do? I really don't know why she's suddenly started acting so different, but it's really bothering me and I feel there's nothing I can really do. One of my friends suggested just giving up on trying to be her friend for a while - that seems retarded to me. I've kind of asked our mutual friends if she's mentioned anything at all about me lately and they have all said no. So...
How do I find out what's wrong? I already tried just sending a little email, but I don't want to make a big scene and make it all awkward by saying "WHY DON'T YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME?!?!?!" or something like that.
How do I fix it? It just seems like everything I do right now is bad to her. How do I change this?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Strain 121 on
0
Posts
Leave her the hell alone for a good, long while. Few months. THEN try coming back and doing the friends thing, if you still feel like it.
*EDIT*
STOP TRYING TO FIX SHIT! She's her own person. Leave her the hell alone. Sometimes leaving someone alone IS the way to "fix" it.
- Adam Savage, 'Mythbusters'
That said, I know just how much that sucks for you.
But yeah. As I said, it's gonna be hard because she's made herself part of my group of friends and so I guess I'll be seeing her every day without doing anything at all. Like hanging out with a ghost or something. Whatever. I suppose I can do that.
I guess I just assumed that since we only went out for 6 weeks and we just held hands and cuddled occasionally, it would be relatively easy to phase back into just being friends. I mean, I'm cool to hang out with her now. But everyone's different I guess. Now I'm more confused as to why she was normal for a week after but THEN decided to go all stonewall on me. Ah well. Not much I can do about that now. I guess I'll just leave her be as much as possible then...
And as for why I want to be friends with her again, it's because she was a really cool person BEFORE we went out as well as during. And at one point she made sure to remind me that we were good friends as well as SO's. I figured that meant afterwards it would be easier for her to be my friend.
Whateva.
She MIGHT be having second thoughts about the breakup. Sometimes it's not like a lightswitch "Relationship ON/OFF" for some people. IF that's the case, then your very PRESENSE is the problem. Dig?
Then again, maybe her dog died or she watched a freaky TV show or has a hangnail. Who fucking knows?
- Adam Savage, 'Mythbusters'
stop being so fucking juvenile and leave her alone. she's not being very subtle about not wanting to be friendly with you, so don't even talk to her unless she initiates a conversation.
you were right to describe this as ridiculous, because that's exactly how you're acting.
Canker sores put me in the worst of fucking moods for as long as they last. Fucking things.
Quit messing with it Strain. I "went out" with one girl who was my best friend at the time and after a quick break up, it was a whole year before we could talk normally again. And then in another case with similar happenings, we were back to normal by the 2nd day after. Different people, different reactions. Let her work her shit out. If you see her often, give a cursory 'Hello' and leave it at that.
Not to be overly harsh, but if you honestly think it's that easy to switch back to friendship mode right after a romantic relationship (regardless of how short it was) then you're kidding yourself.