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Conspiracy Theories - I mean, shit.

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    chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    Drake wrote: »
    Kosenjou wrote: »
    The only movie where Val Kilmer was a badass was Tombstone. Also, when was he ever Snake Plissken?

    Yeah, Kurt Russel and Val Kilmer are two entirely different actors... or are they?

    Damn, I'm always getting those two confused.

    He was badass enough in tombstone to make up for it though.

    EDIT: Also, how the hell did those Batman costumes ever make it into a "family" movie? Is it SOP for superhero costumes to have huge, attention-grabbing crotch ornamentations (to say nothing of the nipples and unnaturally sculpted abs)?

    Double EDIT: Val Kilmer played Jim Morrison once in a really good movie about the Doors. I forgot about that.

    The Doors more than cancels out Top Gun. Everything's cool.

    And Real Genius and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

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    NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Has this classic one been posted yet?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee3bld4lTG0

    Nocturne on
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    Page-Page- Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Coast to Coast requires a membership for podcast downloads, but if you ever get the chance to hear a few shows it's usually worth it. George Noory is kind of a tool, especially compared to Art Bell, but he still interviews ALL of the crazies, and has such amazing people as Richard C. Hoagland as regular "scientific" advisers. If you're interested in what's new and hip in the world of UFO nuts and government cover-ups then it's really the place to be. The interviews are all long-form (2-3 hours), so you really get to dive into these wild stories. Plus, they start each show with an hour long call in segment where any random person can call in to talk about that one time they met their guardian angel or whatever.

    They also have fairly regular interviews with legitimately interesting guests like Dr. Michio Kaku and Seth Shostak.

    The show is pretty fun, and I've heard some amazing things on it. Noory tends to let the guests say whatever the hell they want, even if his questions aren't that great. Art Bell would let people go, but had better control and would call people out if they were being too ridiculous. He still had the better guests.

    Even though the guests aren't payed, because of the huge listener base they're all guaranteed a huge sales bump in whatever books or DVDs they happen to have available (Noory pretty much openly brags about how much they bump people up Amazon sales lists), so people will get on and say just about anything, from the guy who claimed he had a bottomless pit in his backyard that the Government wanted to kill him for, to this other guy who claims he was a part of the Philadelphia Experiment in his 20s and was catapulted forward in time, but into the body of an old man. There was a guy who claimed that he was being besieged by alien greys and had actually managed to kill one and wound another and was keeping them in the spare freezer in his garage, and there was another guy who said he'd build a time machine out of a bunch of conducting rods and wires and everything he'd pushed through the field came out as a small pile of ash a few seconds later and he was going to step through himself next month (and never called back).

    You should really try and hunt down some old shows or at least listen to current ones that have guests you're interested in (check the website), if you're interested in that sort of thing.

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    Kipling217Kipling217 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Asiina wrote: »
    This is truly the best thread. There's a lot of crazy out there.

    I had never heard of this Nibiru planet, but apparently a lot of crazy shit is related to it. It's all CONNECTED, MAN.

    One thing that wasn't mentioned that has a lot of theories surrounding it is the Dyatlov Pass incident
    The mysterious circumstances and subsequent investigations of the hikers' deaths have inspired much speculation. Investigations of the deaths suggest that the hikers tore open their tent from within, departing barefoot in heavy snow; while the corpses show no signs of struggle, two victims had fractured skulls, two had broken ribs, and one was missing her tongue.[1] According to sources, the victims' clothing contained high levels of radiation - though this was likely added at a later date, since no reference is made to it in contemporary documentation and only in later documents.[1] Soviet investigators determined only that "a compelling unknown force" had caused the deaths, barring entry to the area for years thereafter.[1] The causes of the accident remain unclear.[2][3]

    I mean, shit.

    Simplest answer: Hypothermia. People under the influence of hypothermia do crazy shit. Your body literaly feels like its on fire, your mind goes cuckoo(probably induced fever) and then you die.

    The most likely explanation is that the Hiker's had been hit by an small avalance. Set up their tent to get warm and recuparate from their injuries. Got hypothermia and gone crazy. The tounge was probably eaten by a small animal after death.

    BTW I did not come up with this hypothesis myself. Got it from the Cracked website.

    Kipling217 on
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    ZythonZython Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Drake wrote: »
    Nocturne wrote: »
    One of the more interesting conspiracy theories I've heard was that Thomas Edison had built a device that allowed him to talk to the dead.

    He probably did. They just didn't talk back.

    He was too deaf to hear them if they did.

    Nikolai Tesla supposedly claimed he invented a device that allowed him to communicate with alien entities.

    He also tried to invent a death ray. No foolin'.

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    Page-Page- Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    It was actually a Peace Ray. Technically still a death ray, but for the good of all!

    Tesla was a little out there.

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    Clayton BigsbyClayton Bigsby Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I've got a good one.

    This past semester in school a speaker for this guy came to do a lecture at my college. Me and my friend went, thinking it was just gonna be some fun way to waste time on a slow monday, right?

    Hoooooooooooly shit.

    Here are a few of his more memorable claims:

    1.) Black holes aren't just those things that come out of collapsing stars. They also exist in all us living beings. I forget exactly how it came to this, but he basically asserted that we're all walking, talking black holes.

    2.) Throughout the lecture he kept assaulting us with ancient geometric shapes like these. Again, I'm fuzzy on the details but as far as they're concerned, all of it not only proves crap like the above, but even ties it in with the crap below.

    3.) He also made good mention of the ancient pyramids. Not just the ones in Africa, but the ones in China, Mesoamerica, underwater Japan, etc. The reason these pyramids are all downplayed by the media in favor of the ones in Egypt? Government coverup. Why cover it up? Well you see because....

    4.) Aliens. This guy actually said that aliens are the only (ONLY) rational explanation that the pyramids even exist, because it's just impossible that humans did it themselves. Plus, just look at the figures on those Hieroglyphs! They're fucking weird looking! So they MUST be aliens, right? And of course you can't talk about aliens on earth without mentioning...

    5.) Crop circles. Like I just said, this is one of those things that aliens have to be responsible for because it's impossible for us to have any involvement whatsoever (despite there being known, proven scam artists that make fake crop circles). It also helped to tie in with the sacred geometry stuff from point 2 and that just kinda seals it.

    6.) He cited the old testament, specifically the stuff about the Ark of the Covenant, as well as a few other likewise ancient texts and artwork to mention the possibility that the aliens have perfected some kind of black hole (as in from point 1) utilizing technology to create big, bright engines (presumably the Ark itself) that basically powered humanity out of the Stone Age.

    7.) He claimed that somewhat recently some people decided to send out a message to any listening extraterrestrials using (I think) radio waves. The kicker is that we actually got a RESPONSE, and fearing the ever-present possibility of government interference, we got our response in the form of (you guessed it!) A CROP CIRCLE. Him and his people or whatever translated the coded message and the result was some ambiguous crap like "BEWARE THE FALSE PROPHET". Apparently after coming home from giving us a hand this advanced alien civilization learned to tell the future with their alternative eco-friendly BLACK HOLE energy, but the only way they can describe the future to us is in the form of intergalactic fortune cookies. Who knew?

    Also along the way, just as an aside, he shared with us a couple of internet favorites: What'll happen when the Mayan Calender runs out; and also his personal views on what transpired on the events of 9/11. It was literally a melting pot of batfuck crazy.

    Here's the mastermind and part one of his complete theory on youtube: just remember to buckle your seat belts

    By the way, that's not a typo. There really are 45 parts to it. FORTY FIVE. So definitely don't watch if you don't wan't to hate life.

    Clayton Bigsby on
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    Clayton BigsbyClayton Bigsby Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I'm going to feel really silly if this has already been mentioned and discussed in the thread.

    Clayton Bigsby on
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    EWomEWom Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    That guy is quite possibly the worst public speaker I've ever heard. Regardless of his horrible topic, he really is just terribad.

    EWom on
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    Clayton BigsbyClayton Bigsby Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    EWom wrote: »
    That guy is quite possibly the worst public speaker I've ever heard. Regardless of his horrible topic, he really is just terribad.

    Truth. If I had to listen to him instead of the speaker he sent to us, I'd probably have shot myself.

    Clayton Bigsby on
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    DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Was there a whole posse of people who went there to jeer and throw the proverbial rotten tomatos at the stage?
    Lie to me if you have to. Please.

    EDIT: Also, I wonder to what degree these people are just exploitative frauds and to what degree they're batshit crazy and actually believe their own bullshit.

    Duffel on
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    RandomEngyRandomEngy Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    One fun thing you can do to people who claim that the building could not have possibly collapsed due to a plane hitting it is ask them to step through the NIST timeline of the structural failure. Of the stripping of the fireproofing from the beams, the floor buckling and redistribution of load, etc. Even if they claim to have read and "debunked" the report, I guarantee you they won't be able to tell you what the report says.

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    Dr SnofeldDr Snofeld Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Next time you meet a Mayan Calender Apocalypse guy, tell him something along the lines of the Roman calendar ending on December 31st, so they must have known something bad was gonna happen!

    The only difference being, the Mayans had the time to draw out hundreds of years all the way til 2012, wheras the Romans were busy subjugating ancient Europe, so they just made one reusable year.

    Or something like that.

    Dr Snofeld on
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    Clayton BigsbyClayton Bigsby Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    Was there a whole posse of people who went there to jeer and throw the proverbial rotten tomatos at the stage?
    Lie to me if you have to. Please.

    EDIT: Also, I wonder to what degree these people are just exploitative frauds and to what degree they're batshit crazy and actually believe their own bullshit.

    Oh yeah. By the end we had all thrown every kind of produce known to man!
    No. I was completely surrounded by hippies, and I really should have taken that as my cue to get the fuck out

    And about believing his own bullshit.....it just feels right to me that he does. If you've suffered through that biography I linked I think you could see what I mean. The dude's extensively going on about how he came up with all this when he was NINE YEARS OLD, but the elitist science institutions care more about their precious Status Quo! than entertain the poor CHILD GENIUS. Oh yeah, you know who else went against the status quo? Galileo and like every other great scientific mind ever (I'm just sayin'!). These are all telltale signs of a man who thinks his shit smells like rosewater.

    But especially given the subject matter, it also wouldn't surprise me one bit if this guy's building up his cult as we speak. So it could be anyone's guess, really.

    Clayton Bigsby on
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    DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Le sigh. I was afraid that was what happened. I imagine the urge to stand up and scream at the top of your lungs how retarded it all was overpowering.

    As far as the Mayan Calendar people goes, ask them to explain why the Mayans living in Mexico right now aren't going crazy. You think they'd be scared to death if they believed the world was going to end in about a thousand days or so, quite possibly to the point that there would be widespread anarchy and chaos in Mayan communities. Incredibly, this doesn't seem to be happening.

    Duffel on
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    Dr SnofeldDr Snofeld Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Oh yeah, you know who else went against the status quo? Galileo and like every other great scientific mind ever (I'm just sayin'!).

    THIS! This is what is wrong with the world, the concept that going against the status quo is always good. When a single scientist is going against the status quo for any length of time (by which I mean his peers disagree with him), it almost invariably means he is wrong! If the entire scientific community is saying he's wrong, odds are he is! But people latch onto "underdogs" and assume they MUST be Fighting the Power!

    That's how the whole "immunisations cause autism" debacle got started.

    /vent

    Dr Snofeld on
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    ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    Le sigh. I was afraid that was what happened. I imagine the urge to stand up and scream at the top of your lungs how retarded it all was overpowering.

    As far as the Mayan Calendar people goes, ask them to explain why the Mayans living in Mexico right now aren't going crazy. You think they'd be scared to death if they believed the world was going to end in about a thousand days or so, quite possibly to the point that there would be widespread anarchy and chaos in Mayan communities. Incredibly, this doesn't seem to be happening.

    Well, it's not like there's very much stuff out there that could be worse than the conquistadors.

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    mxmarksmxmarks Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    There's a great podcast from "Stuff You Should Know" about how real Myans are pretty pissed that people are distorting thier calender. They go on to say they have tons of calendars, and this is just the end of one of them, and how it's actually a CELEBRATED event when the calendar ends, because it means the end of a cycle, and the beginning of a new one, and people making it DOOMSDAY when they're planning on having a huge new year's-esque party, sucks.

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    MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    All these conspiracy theories got me thinking about post-apoc survival.

    Check this out

    http://www.thereadystore.com/freeze-dried-foods/1-year-supplies/readyfamily-1-year-food-storage-kit-4-person

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    Dr SnofeldDr Snofeld Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    mxmarks wrote: »
    There's a great podcast from "Stuff You Should Know" about how real Myans are pretty pissed that people are distorting thier calender. They go on to say they have tons of calendars, and this is just the end of one of them, and how it's actually a CELEBRATED event when the calendar ends, because it means the end of a cycle, and the beginning of a new one, and people making it DOOMSDAY when they're planning on having a huge new year's-esque party, sucks.

    Man, maybe I should have a New Cycle party myself!

    Dr Snofeld on
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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    We're gonna party like it's 1150bc!

    Let's get our ancient mesoamerica on up in here.

    override367 on
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    BurtletoyBurtletoy Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    All these conspiracy theories got me thinking about post-apoc survival.

    Check this out

    http://www.thereadystore.com/freeze-dried-foods/1-year-supplies/readyfamily-1-year-food-storage-kit-4-person

    Ten thousand four hundred and ninty nine american dollars.

    Burtletoy on
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    maximumzeromaximumzero I...wait, what? New Orleans, LARegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    Was there a whole posse of people who went there to jeer and throw the proverbial rotten tomatos at the stage?
    Lie to me if you have to. Please.

    EDIT: Also, I wonder to what degree these people are just exploitative frauds and to what degree they're batshit crazy and actually believe their own bullshit.

    Oh yeah. By the end we had all thrown every kind of produce known to man!
    No. I was completely surrounded by hippies, and I really should have taken that as my cue to get the fuck out

    And about believing his own bullshit.....it just feels right to me that he does. If you've suffered through that biography I linked I think you could see what I mean. The dude's extensively going on about how he came up with all this when he was NINE YEARS OLD, but the elitist science institutions care more about their precious Status Quo! than entertain the poor CHILD GENIUS. Oh yeah, you know who else went against the status quo? Galileo and like every other great scientific mind ever (I'm just sayin'!). These are all telltale signs of a man who thinks his shit smells like rosewater.

    But especially given the subject matter, it also wouldn't surprise me one bit if this guy's building up his cult as we speak. So it could be anyone's guess, really.

    I think I would have just started laughing as loudly as I could, stood up, and walked out the door

    ...only for the door to close behind me, after which I would proceed to peek my head in one last time for a final outburst of laughter before I made my exit.

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    Andrew_JayAndrew_Jay Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Big Post
    I think I would have just started laughing as loudly as I could, stood up, and walked out the door

    ...only for the door to close behind me, after which I would proceed to peek my head in one last time for a final outburst of laughter before I made my exit.
    No, what you do is you show up conservatively dressed, preferably with sunglasses, maybe even a khaki trench coat or something - just look out of place. Hang around the back of the auditorium and half-conspicuously whisper into a pretend mic in your collar. Let the flakes around you overhear your reports about "the subject", estimates of the size of the audience, random jargon about back up teams, monitoring and tracking devices, etc. etc. etc.

    That or rent a black helicopter and buzz the event.

    Andrew_Jay on
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    Clayton BigsbyClayton Bigsby Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Dr Snofeld wrote: »
    Oh yeah, you know who else went against the status quo? Galileo and like every other great scientific mind ever (I'm just sayin'!).

    THIS! This is what is wrong with the world, the concept that going against the status quo is always good. When a single scientist is going against the status quo for any length of time (by which I mean his peers disagree with him), it almost invariably means he is wrong! If the entire scientific community is saying he's wrong, odds are he is! But people latch onto "underdogs" and assume they MUST be Fighting the Power!

    That's how the whole "immunisations cause autism" debacle got started.

    /vent

    See, it's not even really that. Yeah, we're supposed to accept the status quo, treat it as an absolute in experiments and research and all that, but at the same time be at least a little open to the possibility that it's wrong. I'm oversimplifying, but in my limited knowledge that's what science should be: 99.99% percent of the time it's people following the established line of thinking, and then .01% of the time it's some guy going, "Wait maybe it's like this" and then the community goes "Well that's interesting but because of this, this, or that it's probably wrong." the lone guy hangs his head in shame, everyone goes out to drink and then they go back to work the next day. And then, if the lone guy keeps at it, gathers enough VIABLE EVIDENCE (this is key) and gets it passed through enough journals, the community can gather together and say ".......Maybe." In THAT sense alone, I'm not really bothered that they're going against the mainstream.

    What DOES bother me is that they ignore basically every other part of makes good scientific research. They go to the community with their half-assed alien black hole theory or whatever and when they tell him "You're full of shit" they go right back and go "NO FUCK YOU HOW DARE YOU NOT SEE MY GREATNESS that's ok though I guess you're scared of me rocking your precious boat that's what happens when you're ahead of the times like I am so I don't even need you guys and anyway I'm off to be the next Darwin later losers 8-)"

    In the end they don't give a shit about what they're researching, they just want to be the NEXT BIG THING and show all those FATCATS IN WASHINGTON! I mean, did anyone else see how the first 6 minutes of the video I posted was him just talking about how he was about to BLOW ALL OUR GODDAMN MINDS? It's this kind of arrogant posturing that I'm sure causes real scientists no small amount of grief.

    Also,I'm somewhat unfamiliar with the whole "immunizations cause autism" thing, other than it's something Jenny McCartney's pushing around. Is there like a conspiracy theory around that, or were you just making an example?

    Clayton Bigsby on
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    joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    people got their panties in a twist because they forgot that correlation =/= causation.

    joshua1 on
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    ZythonZython Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Also,I'm somewhat unfamiliar with the whole "immunizations cause autism" thing, other than it's something Jenny McCartney's pushing around. Is there like a conspiracy theory around that, or were you just making an example?

    I think Jim Carrey's also on board.

    Basically, it was about how they thought that mercury in vaccines caused autism. Really, the more likely story is that we just have better diagnosing techniques.

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    KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Zython wrote: »
    Also,I'm somewhat unfamiliar with the whole "immunizations cause autism" thing, other than it's something Jenny McCartney's pushing around. Is there like a conspiracy theory around that, or were you just making an example?

    I think Jim Carrey's also on board.

    Basically, it was about how they thought that mercury in vaccines caused autism. Really, the more likely story is that we just have better diagnosing techniques.

    Re medical stories - I rather like the Guardian's Ben Goldacre - he writes a column called Bad Science. Last week he also linked a NHS (National Health Service) medical news analysis service as well - basically it reviews a lot of the medical stories in popular media and usually explains the underlying story in a comprehensive manner

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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Andrew_Jay wrote: »
    Big Post
    I think I would have just started laughing as loudly as I could, stood up, and walked out the door

    ...only for the door to close behind me, after which I would proceed to peek my head in one last time for a final outburst of laughter before I made my exit.
    No, what you do is you show up conservatively dressed, preferably with sunglasses, maybe even a khaki trench coat or something - just look out of place. Hang around the back of the auditorium and half-conspicuously whisper into a pretend mic in your collar. Let the flakes around you overhear your reports about "the subject", estimates of the size of the audience, random jargon about back up teams, monitoring and tracking devices, etc. etc. etc.

    That or rent a black helicopter and buzz the event.

    This is a fantastic idea.

    Go to one of these things and even dress like them, but with a military haircut and just act like you said. If you can get someone with a black suv to have guys with suits and sunglasses drive by at some point it would also be quite amazing.

    I mean it would be fantastic to just fulfill one of their theories. What the hell would they do? Okay yes, the government is controlled by a secret shadow council and all the shit you've heard is true. They have so much power and control that they could have everyone in the world put into camps if they wanted.

    You've been vindicated! .... Now what


    Anyway on that contrary science thing, the reason people accept the status quo is because the theories that go against it are wrong like a million times more than they are right. An idea does not have merit because it goes against the grain, an idea has merit because it stands up to scrutiny.

    override367 on
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    Clayton BigsbyClayton Bigsby Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Clayton Bigsby on
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    Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Anyway on that contrary science thing, the reason people accept the status quo is because the theories that go against it are wrong like a million times more than they are right. An idea does not have merit because it goes against the grain, an idea has merit because it stands up to scrutiny.
    This reminds me of that stupid Earthquake miniseries on TV a few years back, which was absolutely in love with the 'maverick is always right' trope that bad TV and movies love so much. The scientist was one of those ostracized-because-her-ideas-were-just-too-radical with her 'hidden fault line' theory which was particularly dumb, because her hidden faults existed at a depth too deep to be detected, and operated counter to conventional theory so who knows how she even came up with the idea in the first place.:P

    Gabriel_Pitt on
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    DemiurgeDemiurge Registered User regular
    edited May 2009

    Man I love the end bit there :lol:

    Demiurge on
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    GoodOmensGoodOmens Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Burtletoy wrote: »
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    All these conspiracy theories got me thinking about post-apoc survival.

    Check this out

    http://www.thereadystore.com/freeze-dried-foods/1-year-supplies/readyfamily-1-year-food-storage-kit-4-person

    Ten thousand four hundred and ninty nine american dollars.

    But reduced from almost 15 grand, so that's a bargain right there. And, if the ad is to be believed, it comes with a photogenic, unthreateningly upper-middle-class family that you can sell into slavery and recoup some of the cost.

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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    We should all get together and buy a decommissioned missile silo. If we can take care of the deepcrows it'd be an awesome post-unspecified disaster shelter.

    override367 on
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    Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    The... deepcrows?

    Edit: Oh, wait. Disregard. Shit.

    Richard_Dastardly on
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    DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I don't think any of us is qualified to handle a deepcrow.

    Duffel on
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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    I don't think any of us is qualified to handle a deepcrow.

    We just need to bring enough people where we can use Zap Brannigan's killbot strategy. We engorge the deepcrow until it passes out from being too full, and kill it while it sleeps.


    Edit: Whoa there are actually people who believe the jews were behind 9/11? What possible motivation, in even the most ridiculously secondary way, could "the zionist agenda" have?

    override367 on
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    DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    What we actually need to do is go on one of the CT websites and say we've actually heard rumors about deepcrows infesting some of the old decommissioned silos.

    The reason they're selling them off is because the deepcrows kill the new occupants and then of course the gov't confiscates their money (because of course they can just confiscate all their money for no reason) and pretty soon there will be nobody rich enough to buy a silo left and THEY WILL OWN OUR MINDS

    Duffel on
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    Professor PhobosProfessor Phobos Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    We should all get together and buy a decommissioned missile silo. If we can take care of the deepcrows it'd be an awesome post-unspecified disaster shelter.

    You don't need to go that far. A good solid house in a rural area, with a basement, can be entirely adequate for most apocalypses.

    Professor Phobos on
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    BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    But it's not as cool.

    BloodySloth on
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