What's hilarious is that my first time D&D group got run through Tomb of Horrors and nobody fucking died because we paid attention to the fucking riddles.
Except for when we were leaving the dungeon and I put my head in the statue's mouth.
What's hilarious is that my first time D&D group got run through Tomb of Horrors and nobody fucking died because we paid attention to the fucking riddles.
Except for when we were leaving the dungeon and I put my head in the statue's mouth.
EDIT:But we "won" already.
Well, they did. After they looted your corpse, anyways. :P
delroland on
EVE: Online - the most fun you will ever have not playing a game.
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
Did nobody think to stick the end of one of the ubiquitous 10' poles that every adventurer has (in addition to chalk and 10' of rope) into the mouth before sticking your gol'durn head in there?
Nah, the Catoblepas is in the first Monster Manual.
Preceded by the Carrion crawler, and followed by "Cattle, Wild"
In case of stampede, I suppose.
But yeah, Catoblepas was a doozy. On a hit, 75% chance of stunning you 1-10 rounds. No save. And of course, the gaze that worked as a death ray spell. Because it was so stupid looking (long, weak neck) there was a small chance that it couldn't raise its head high enough to look at you.
Anyway, next post in a few minutes.
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UtsanomikoBros before DoesRollin' in the thlayRegistered Userregular
Occasionally, there are monsters so crappygay that they don't make it into subsequent editions. Entry C has plenty of these. The Cave Cricket. Catfish, Giant. Cooshee (Elven Dog). Yes, that last one is verbatim. But the worst is on page 22.
C is for Catlord. Lame.
Argh. I mean, it just sounds bad. It's like animes. Or furries. Or both. It's like something a 14 year old girl who reads Twilight compulsively would put in a dungeon. But more likely, an awful mid-thirties manchild. Who also wants to make out with Edgar Cullings or whatever the fuck that dude's name is.
moer like craplord mirite
Unfortunately, the Catlord will probably kick your ass. It's insult to injury. Casts as a 19th level magic user? Assholes. He also can:
Rule over all felines. Why he would want to do this, I am not sure.
I'm not sure this is a power, but... "Those who truly understand felines know that the cat lord is neither good nor evil but concerned with cat-things alone." Goddamnit.
Assume either a feline form or a cat form. He's more powerful in feline form. Of goddamn course.
Jump very far and always land on his feet. Always. He also always wins initiative. No roll.
At-will spell like powers including etherealness, haste, improved invisibility and teleport without error.
In feline form he may make a Spit attack. Let me say that again: spit attack. Always hits. No attack roll required. Save vs. spells or you are blind. This does not wear off. Only spells can cure your blindness... and only then if you can cast dispel magic adequately enough to beat a 19th level magic user.
Let forth a piercing yowl instead of a melee attack. It stuns all creatures in a 19-foot radius. Except cats. Nowhere is there a mention of saving throws or attack rolls. One might assume that once again the Cat Lord just doesn't have to roll dice. You will simply be unable to do anything for 1-4 rounds.
Lick his wounds. Let me say that again: lick his wounds. Yes, nine times per day the Cat Lord can heal himself by licking his wounds. This is almost the Worst Thing.
He always moves with 99% silence. fffffffffffffffff
Normal hearing and vision for the Cat Lord is five times that of normal human senses. Also, he has ultravision of 2 times the power of normal ultravision, and infravision of 5 times the power of normal infravision. Seriously, having double something that is already ULTRA friggin makes me froth at the mouth in anger.
Speak the language of goddamn near everything, including "the secret language of neutrals". I guess he was fixed.
Other than cats, his only known friend is the deity Xan Yae. He's even an asshole in his statblock.
Here's my favorite one: summoning. Now, the Cat Lord might be able to summon smilodons, or weretigers, or mountain lions. But by the odds, he is most likely to summon a whole bunch of angry housecats. This is the only power I feel he deserves.
I despise this monster unreasonably. Somebody very strange did this. Now... there's like two contributors and a few editors credited in the Preface. But Gary Gygax, you put your name on this book.
God rest your gentle soul, Mr. Gygax. But seriously someone better remind you of this once in a while to shame you, forever. Maybe Dave Arneson could have the honors, because he didn't get enough credit for his part in role playing games anyway.
Nah, the Catoblepas is in the first Monster Manual.
Preceded by the Carrion crawler, and followed by "Cattle, Wild"
In case of stampede, I suppose.
But yeah, Catoblepas was a doozy. On a hit, 75% chance of stunning you 1-10 rounds. No save. And of course, the gaze that worked as a death ray spell. Because it was so stupid looking (long, weak neck) there was a small chance that it couldn't raise its head high enough to look at you.
Wild cats are found from subarctic to tropical regions. The smaller domestic variety has only 1 effective attack with forepaw claws, while the larger wild cat has 2 such attacks. Both gain rear claw rakes if forepaw claw attacks succeed in hitting the opponent.
All claw attacks from cats did 1-2 points of damage. Granted, they only had one hit dice but they could totally tear ass on a level 1 wizard.
Let's continue to page 61. We had to skip over a lot of Demons and Devils for that, which is how we suddenly went like 40 pages ahead. Maybe later you demon/devil worshipping Jack Chick stereotypes can clamor for them. Anyway...
D is for Duergar, sorta like Dwarfs.
Today's Duergar have a wide range of levels and roles... they can bring some tough business your way. I shall not post the statblock since we have a current edition that is actually functional without referring to three different books and shit like that. The 4e Duergar goes something like this:
Duergar delved too greedily, and too deep. They found a Hot Topic store.
Duergar, the short version:
Range from level 4 to level 14, and cover all monster roles.
Hit stuff with hammers or other blunt objects.
All Duergar can shoot beard quills... still not sure why, but hey.
Depending on role, they have effects that can cause fire and poison damage.
Higher level Duergar are seriously into the infernal thing. Asmodeus is popular with them.
Oh, and the lurkers can gain invisibility based on their environment, more or less.
WotC beefed up the Duergar something good. They were pretty bland in back in AD&D... let's have a look:
He looks pissed that you are on his lawn.
By contrast, old man Duergar goes like'a so...
They're "evil dwarves" that look basically like dwarves but emaciated and skinny. Not so threatnin'.
Mostly they hit stuff. like with a hammer. Even though the picture has an axe in it.
Not so tough... 1+2 hit dice, with a chance of there being higher level dudes if there's enough of them. Also there's a not so intuitive table that lets you know how to roll equipment for groups of Duergar.
Sometimes they have slaves? Like gnomes or kobolds or goblins... you roll for that too.
They surprise you most of the time... and you aren't likely to suprise them.
Have some psionic abilities but aren't really competent with them.
The AD&D Duergar... not so great unless you went to a deal of trouble to improve them. The 4e update to the Duergar is a nice change that makes them quite interesting... if you can deal with the shooting of beard quills thing. Also, you've got Duergar in Thunderspire Labyrinth to add to it.
Nice to see the Duergar get some new flavor and a good diversity of roles and unique powers in this edition.
Cat Lords - and further, Beast Lords - re-appeared in the Planescape campaign setting with some pretty awesome artwork done by one Tony DiTerlizzi. They were basically the protectors of their animal type, like the cucco storm you'd get in Legend of Zelda if you beat the crap out of too many cuccos, and hung out in the jungles of (appropriately) the Beast Lands.
A "catlord" also shows up in one of the side Dragonlance novels starring Caramon and Raistlin.
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All claw attacks from cats did 1-2 points of damage. Granted, they only had one hit dice but they could totally tear ass on a level 1 wizard.
I'm suddenly remembering a post on the old 3rd edition forums where someone rolled up a series of battles between Joe Average, 1st level commoner, and his pet housecat. The battles had varying conditions, like whether or not Joe was armed, who initiated hostilities, and so forth. I think it was proven that Joe had a fighting chance, assuming he was armed and prepared for battle, but just stumbling through the door after a hard day at work he'd get his head torn of before he could blink. o_O
Why the fuck weren't you people playing Traveller back then, I don't even know how you could stomach oD&D's rules.
In my case, it was because I was young enough that me and my friends didn't give a shit that we weren't really playing the game correctly. Faced with unplayable rules we just went with whatever worked at the time to keep playing our mans. I think it was a good thing that we were like 13 and gave not a shit for playing "correctly". We were having fun, which has usually been correct enough for me.
I mostly played 2nd edition but we somewhat reverted back to the AD&D "Immortals" content after our characters got to ridiculous levels and we were doing shit like fighting Tiamat in the Infinite Planes of the Abyss. Which is where my first character died, incidentally. Best death ever (he took that bitch with him).
Some friends of mine have really good memories of Traveler, and I wish I had played it back in the day. It seems like something that just sort of faded away.
In my case, because I didn't get into playing DnD until the mid-90s, when I was twelve or so. I'd never heard of Traveller until I got onto the internet and found out that other people played games I'd never heard of.
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Why the fuck weren't you people playing Traveller back then, I don't even know how you could stomach oD&D's rules.
Man, oTraveller had its own idiosyncrasies. You could die in character creation. Admittedly, that was awesome, but still, the game was so deadly you could die in character creation.
edit: there's also the flipside of rolling below ten on a percentile. sadness ensues.
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INeedNoSaltwith blood on my teethRegistered Userregular
edited June 2009
duergar 4e: dark iron dwarves were pretty bitching.
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UtsanomikoBros before DoesRollin' in the thlayRegistered Userregular
edited June 2009
Yeah I'm not a big fan of the Duergar having projectile quills; it's like a porcupine if you were retarded and thought porcupines could actually do that.
I'd like to include them in a campaign with their own kingdom, but be a bit influenced by Warhammer's Chaos Dwarves. Don't know what I'd replace the quills with in that case.
Yeah I'm not a big fan of the Duergar having projectile quills; it's like a porcupine if you were retarded and thought porcupines could actually do that.
I'd like to include them in a campaign with their own kingdom, but be a bit influenced by Warhammer's Chaos Dwarves. Don't know what I'd replace the quills with in that case.
Pimp beards and obnoxiously huge hats?
delroland on
EVE: Online - the most fun you will ever have not playing a game.
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
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UtsanomikoBros before DoesRollin' in the thlayRegistered Userregular
edited June 2009
Precisely.
Now if this were 20 years ago I could just write up a chart for the rate they turn to stone every time they use magic and call it a day. I'll have to cook up something new and distinct, I guess.
Posts
Considering the 12 hit dice, a total party swallow was quite feasible.
EDIT: I mean look at that smirk. Who doesn't love that smirk?
ToH was Gygax's response to tournament players tellin him that he couldn't write a challenging module for the life of him. Let this be a lesson
I also picked up Chainmail this weekend. I'm a happy boy.
TRY TO WIN HARDER AT RPGS
ARGH UR DOIN IT WRONG
Except for when we were leaving the dungeon and I put my head in the statue's mouth.
EDIT:But we "won" already.
Well, they did. After they looted your corpse, anyways. :P
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
IOS Game Center ID: Isotope-X
I think I will just pick the worst one and go with it.
Wasn't Catoblepas (sp?) in MMII?
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
Preceded by the Carrion crawler, and followed by "Cattle, Wild"
In case of stampede, I suppose.
But yeah, Catoblepas was a doozy. On a hit, 75% chance of stunning you 1-10 rounds. No save. And of course, the gaze that worked as a death ray spell. Because it was so stupid looking (long, weak neck) there was a small chance that it couldn't raise its head high enough to look at you.
Anyway, next post in a few minutes.
Argh. I mean, it just sounds bad. It's like animes. Or furries. Or both. It's like something a 14 year old girl who reads Twilight compulsively would put in a dungeon. But more likely, an awful mid-thirties manchild. Who also wants to make out with Edgar Cullings or whatever the fuck that dude's name is.
Unfortunately, the Catlord will probably kick your ass. It's insult to injury. Casts as a 19th level magic user? Assholes. He also can:
- Rule over all felines. Why he would want to do this, I am not sure.
- I'm not sure this is a power, but... "Those who truly understand felines know that the cat lord is neither good nor evil but concerned with cat-things alone." Goddamnit.
- Assume either a feline form or a cat form. He's more powerful in feline form. Of goddamn course.
- Jump very far and always land on his feet. Always. He also always wins initiative. No roll.
- At-will spell like powers including etherealness, haste, improved invisibility and teleport without error.
- In feline form he may make a Spit attack. Let me say that again: spit attack. Always hits. No attack roll required. Save vs. spells or you are blind. This does not wear off. Only spells can cure your blindness... and only then if you can cast dispel magic adequately enough to beat a 19th level magic user.
- Let forth a piercing yowl instead of a melee attack. It stuns all creatures in a 19-foot radius. Except cats. Nowhere is there a mention of saving throws or attack rolls. One might assume that once again the Cat Lord just doesn't have to roll dice. You will simply be unable to do anything for 1-4 rounds.
- Lick his wounds. Let me say that again: lick his wounds. Yes, nine times per day the Cat Lord can heal himself by licking his wounds. This is almost the Worst Thing.
- He always moves with 99% silence. fffffffffffffffff
- Normal hearing and vision for the Cat Lord is five times that of normal human senses. Also, he has ultravision of 2 times the power of normal ultravision, and infravision of 5 times the power of normal infravision. Seriously, having double something that is already ULTRA friggin makes me froth at the mouth in anger.
- Speak the language of goddamn near everything, including "the secret language of neutrals". I guess he was fixed.
- Other than cats, his only known friend is the deity Xan Yae. He's even an asshole in his statblock.
- Here's my favorite one: summoning. Now, the Cat Lord might be able to summon smilodons, or weretigers, or mountain lions. But by the odds, he is most likely to summon a whole bunch of angry housecats. This is the only power I feel he deserves.
I despise this monster unreasonably. Somebody very strange did this. Now... there's like two contributors and a few editors credited in the Preface. But Gary Gygax, you put your name on this book.God rest your gentle soul, Mr. Gygax. But seriously someone better remind you of this once in a while to shame you, forever. Maybe Dave Arneson could have the honors, because he didn't get enough credit for his part in role playing games anyway.
Do not insult egyptian mythology.
you heard me
which is probably what dwarfs should have been named in the first place
tolkein i'm looking at you
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
All claw attacks from cats did 1-2 points of damage. Granted, they only had one hit dice but they could totally tear ass on a level 1 wizard.
The best bit would have to be it being able to lick itself 9 times per day though. Just silly.
Today's Duergar have a wide range of levels and roles... they can bring some tough business your way. I shall not post the statblock since we have a current edition that is actually functional without referring to three different books and shit like that. The 4e Duergar goes something like this:
Duergar, the short version:
- Range from level 4 to level 14, and cover all monster roles.
- Hit stuff with hammers or other blunt objects.
- All Duergar can shoot beard quills... still not sure why, but hey.
- Depending on role, they have effects that can cause fire and poison damage.
- Higher level Duergar are seriously into the infernal thing. Asmodeus is popular with them.
- Oh, and the lurkers can gain invisibility based on their environment, more or less.
WotC beefed up the Duergar something good. They were pretty bland in back in AD&D... let's have a look:He looks pissed that you are on his lawn.
By contrast, old man Duergar goes like'a so...
- They're "evil dwarves" that look basically like dwarves but emaciated and skinny. Not so threatnin'.
- Mostly they hit stuff. like with a hammer. Even though the picture has an axe in it.
- Not so tough... 1+2 hit dice, with a chance of there being higher level dudes if there's enough of them. Also there's a not so intuitive table that lets you know how to roll equipment for groups of Duergar.
- Sometimes they have slaves? Like gnomes or kobolds or goblins... you roll for that too.
- They surprise you most of the time... and you aren't likely to suprise them.
- Have some psionic abilities but aren't really competent with them.
The AD&D Duergar... not so great unless you went to a deal of trouble to improve them. The 4e update to the Duergar is a nice change that makes them quite interesting... if you can deal with the shooting of beard quills thing. Also, you've got Duergar in Thunderspire Labyrinth to add to it.Nice to see the Duergar get some new flavor and a good diversity of roles and unique powers in this edition.
I'm guessing this is smarter than plain old Ultra Genius, but just a bit dumber than Giga Genius.
from low to high (based on ability scores):
A "catlord" also shows up in one of the side Dragonlance novels starring Caramon and Raistlin.
They just got gayer.
I'm suddenly remembering a post on the old 3rd edition forums where someone rolled up a series of battles between Joe Average, 1st level commoner, and his pet housecat. The battles had varying conditions, like whether or not Joe was armed, who initiated hostilities, and so forth. I think it was proven that Joe had a fighting chance, assuming he was armed and prepared for battle, but just stumbling through the door after a hard day at work he'd get his head torn of before he could blink. o_O
In my case, it was because I was young enough that me and my friends didn't give a shit that we weren't really playing the game correctly. Faced with unplayable rules we just went with whatever worked at the time to keep playing our mans. I think it was a good thing that we were like 13 and gave not a shit for playing "correctly". We were having fun, which has usually been correct enough for me.
I mostly played 2nd edition but we somewhat reverted back to the AD&D "Immortals" content after our characters got to ridiculous levels and we were doing shit like fighting Tiamat in the Infinite Planes of the Abyss. Which is where my first character died, incidentally. Best death ever (he took that bitch with him).
Some friends of mine have really good memories of Traveler, and I wish I had played it back in the day. It seems like something that just sort of faded away.
Man, oTraveller had its own idiosyncrasies. You could die in character creation. Admittedly, that was awesome, but still, the game was so deadly you could die in character creation.
Added the appropriate number values for each level of intelligence.
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
and this is to say nothing of percentile increases.
I totally didn't fudge the 18/00 strength my barbarian had when I rolled him. Not at all.
edit: there's also the flipside of rolling below ten on a percentile. sadness ensues.
I'd like to include them in a campaign with their own kingdom, but be a bit influenced by Warhammer's Chaos Dwarves. Don't know what I'd replace the quills with in that case.
Pimp beards and obnoxiously huge hats?
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
Now if this were 20 years ago I could just write up a chart for the rate they turn to stone every time they use magic and call it a day. I'll have to cook up something new and distinct, I guess.