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Comical Comics About a Dude
rocketman00
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Any feedback, positive comments, and helpful critique would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!
The Treasures that May Not be Touched... In Your Pants
The Treasures that May Not be Touched... In Your Pants
rocketman00 on
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I'm guessing that this might be a blessing that there are no images or links...
INSTAGRAM
also: try adding a weeeee bit of order to the page layout.. right now it just looks like you drew something in one guy, scanned it and uploaded it.
compare what you drew to a typical comic you like to read.. Compare in what ways the page layout differs.
no discernable "grid" or thought in the page layout, no panels, no gutters (space between the panels).
if you'd present this stuff a bit nicer in photoshop, it'd look better.
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What? Childish taboos about touching your own dick are the hottest thing in comedy right now!
Thats so he can beg his puritanical protestant god for forgiveness as quickly as he can on sunday morning.
Well I got news, kid: If you clasp your hands in prayer and they stick together god doesn't want to hear those prayers!
Also masturbating isn't just for saturdays, it can be enjoyed everyday of the week.
Comedy gold!
I'm going to deconstruct this motherfucker starting from the "punchline" and working back. Once I get to that gold idol, that little bitch is mine.
Is there really some kind of sparkling trinket somewhere that shouldn't be touched? These guys obviously aren't at a museum, since the museum takes the effort to make their frames straight. I'm assuming that this strip takes place in someone's house and the object in question is sitting on a coffee table.
So the big question is: How the fuck did it get to a place where to normal buffoons could put their grubby mitts on it? Were the movers blessed by a priest before they moved the statue? Did the football jersey guy stuff it into the back of his Vega with the rest of his crap when he moved? And if it's too holy to touch, how the fuck did it get here in the first place? I can only assume that God Carved it on his day off and put it on the guy's coffee table and told them not to fuck with it. Judging by what I've read of the bible, this is a pretty plausible explanation, since the first time it happened, two people got kicked out of a garden and were made to wear clothes forever after.
In the end, what we have here is a Magical MacGuffin. Also known as a plot device, this strange board game peice, I can only guess is a cross between the knight from a chess set and a hungry hungry hippo, serves nothing other than to advance the "plot" in this story. You can't touch it, not because its holy, or even valuable, but because if you touched it, there'd be no story.
Other notable Magical MacGuffins include the briefcase from Pulp Fiction, Earth in the Battlestar Galactica series, and, of course, the apple that got the entire bible started.
LOLz thanks for all the nice comments, people :P The sparkly thing in the first panel is one of those Indiana Jones rigged treasures. He doesn't want him to take it cause it's rigged.
Rigged to suck, maybe.
Or because they seem to be floating in the blank white portion of the Matrix and the sparkly thing that disappears after 1 panel is their only point of reference and without it they wouldn't even be able to tell if they were falling into an infinite pit of nothingness.
This is all just the author's muddled subconscious fantasy. He suffers a lot of subconscious guilt for masturbating, and mixed with his latent homosexual crush on harrison ford in his indiana jones days, simply desires being chased by someone's huge balls as a "punishment" for touching things he shouldn't. Namely his own dick. Which is shaped like a cross between a chess peice and a hungry hungry hippo.
I had a gay dream about Indiana Jones a couple of months back. It was......confusing......sexually.
Though I probably would go gay for an early 80's Harrison or a 70's Newman. It's fairly safe to say that I'm pretty picky about who sticks their johnson in me.
You really don't seem THAT picky about johnson entry.
"...and then the dinosaur killed him in his own car!"
"Whoa. The dinosaur had a car?"
Cellular Cheese Block? Now there's an idea worth investigating, I've always wanted to call people and eat cheese at the same time.
Can we do it in Jarlsberg? Even better we could make the buttons and screen out of a delicious salted cracker materials
You called me gay. Seriously? Right after I called you gay first? You couldn't think of anything original? The only thing funny about this thread is you showing us how many different levels you can fail on.
The audience you're looking for are your friends who will lie and tell you it's funny.
Well not everything in this thread revolves around your overly bitchy mouth you know. Just saying, all the people with their Indiana Jones fetishes, just a teensy bit more than creepy.
Ouch that cut... But you're probably right. Another good audience would be the retarded group of kids in school.
There you go again. Your response isnt even a "No, you have an indiana jones fetish!" You're just taking what I said and parroting it back to me.
Know what pisses me off the worst about all this? You're basically telling me that you weren't even smart enough to draw this comic. That means that there's some other stupid fucker out there who drew this comic and you copied it.
There are two people on earth as stupid as this comic.
So are you going to come up with something original or are you just going to try to tell me that I'm as stupid as this comic strip? Or worse yet, just call me a parrot.
Good show folks!
No wonder he says all the same stuff you do.
How am I saying the same thing as you? You're saying I'm gay and can't a damn comic to save my life, and I'm saying your upper cockhole needs a fucking zipper. You know, being a total dick to people online isn't the best way to make up for your shit life. So what if my comic doesn't meet your fucking standards? You don't have to be a cock and laugh and insult me. "Oh I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you, who the hell are you to tell me that?" And I've probably said this enough, but you what? You know what? Fuck you, Metalbitch.
I think I'm going to sig this.
I don't expect praises, just respect for a fellow fucking human being. People should be respectful enough to the difference between an insult and critique.
You're just as bad as the other guy. You're putting damn words in my mouth. I never said anything about praises, just pointers. I never said I aimed to upstage any hard working artists, just show some work. I never said anything at all about my drawing being Metalbitch's fault, just that he was talking shit too much. Dicks like you and Metalbitch think so highly of yourselves that every inexperienced artist around is just some piece of shit you can make fun of and step on. Well fuck that.
Now I ask you, Scroll up, or look back at the first page. Did I ever even mention any of that you're accusing me of? Of course fucking not, so get a better argument. And the burn: Newsflash cockwad, learn to read.
and I know exactly what you were thinking when you came here. It's because we get one of you a week. People who can't draw, have very little interest in learning and just think they can start up a comic with zero experience.
If you really want to do this, then grab a sktech book and draw for at least an hour, every single day for the next month or two and then post back. I'll eat my words for you then and do it happily.
To be perfectly honest, the reason you haven't been getting any constructive criticism is because there isn't very much to work with, here. Everything, from the fundamentals of drawing to the joke (including its setup and execution) needs an awful lot of work. It's not going to cut it saying anything about stylized this or that, either; the drawings are bad, and that's that. The best we'd be able to do to help you is to repeat the advice we give a million times (and which, if I remember correctly, is on the first page of the questions thread), and say practice more, learn the fundamentals, and stop drawing comics until you've gotten good enough for it.
EDIT: Reading the thread again, you've actually got a lot of helpful crits, there, though from the look of it, that wasn't your complaint. As for your beef with Metal and (for some reason) Mustang, Mustang actually had a point in his first post; probably because of our particular location, we get a lot of webcomic threads, and seeing as starting a new thread for what is, let's face it, stuff better suited for the doodle thread, even when they're not about webcomics (which add another dimension of difficulty because of the writing--specifically that they should be funny), I hope you can forgive us for being a bit harsher than usual about it. Metal's an ass, sure, but he's actually got helpful critiques that just happen to be delivered via shit from [his] ass to [your] mouth. The point in his acerbic critiques was that your joke doesn't make as much sense as it should, and the execution of your drawing makes it even harder to understand.