Running interference/damage control

Stevie2Sxc

For a bit of backstory you might want to read this thread.

But if you can't be bothered to read all that random crap, I'll summarise it:

A mate of mine was dating a guy that I had the hots for. They broke up and she took it badly, then he was outted as gay. She moved to Scotland and he and I started dating. She got engaged up there recently.

Now, she is coming back to town with Terrence, her fiancé, for him to get her parents' permission to marry her (they're somewhat old-fashioned).

But here's what I need a bit of help with. She took her and Karl's (her ex, my boyfriend) breakup badly, and even though she says she's fine with me dating him and says she doesn't have any feelings or resentment for him, I've known her long enough to read between the lines with her.

And when she asked on the phone (when she told me her and Terrence are coming down) if it's all good with me and Karl, I could detect a bit of annoyance and coldness in her voice.

So I need to know how, if it all possible, to casually prevent her from bringing up old demons and making a bit stink about the situation. Because I admit it's an odd situation not unlike something from an old soap opera.

eternalbl

If you think she'll essentially be trolling, just don't take the bait. Easy as that.

Maybe read the paper or some other news so you have lots of good topic changers if the conversation is going south?

Or talk to her about it beforehand.

Sentry

You should also consider the possibility that, no matter how well you know her, you could be ascribing feelings or emotions to her that just aren't there. Having read your last thread, it's clear you are still kind of insecure about this new relationship, which could be clouding your judgement.

Raziel

Easy. If she brings up old demons and makes a bit of a stink about the situation, change the topic. Act like an adult, and she'll follow your lead - nobody wants to look like the whining teenager in a social situation.

Thylacine

Hopefully, considering she's engaged, she should be long over the old breakup. If not, maybe just mention how 'Yeah, that must have sucked but it all worked out for the best because you found Terrance!"