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Car collisions and why they are bullshit

12467

Posts

  • ZoelZoel I suppose... I'd put it on Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You're lucky that wasn't a popeyes.

    Zoel on
    A magician gives you a ring that, when worn, will let you see the world as it truly is.
    However, the ring will never leave your finger, and you will be unable to ever describe to another living person what you see.
  • PolagoPolago Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Stale wrote: »
    ONCE AGAIN, stale one-ups everybody else

    WHAT A SURPRISE, STALE

    It's not my fault I'm like a fucking magnet for terrible shit.


    It's just what I am.

    Am, do, close enough.

    Did they remove all the glass from your lungs or is there some Tony Stark shit going on there?

    Polago on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    unless your wheel pops off and does this, i am not impressed

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErDx0A7TF18

    Faricazy on
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    Ten wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    What do you want Ten?

    A fucking medal?

    With 'WORLDS BEST DRIVER' on it

    And 'ALSO HAS A BIG DICK' on the back

    I was more going for the joke that you went BRAKE and I answered.

    You've gotten used to Viv calling you that?

    :P

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I saw a dude on a bicycle get smoked by a van today.

    It was both of their stupid asses fault, since the guy in the van swerved into the right hand lane to pass some traffic stopped at a red light just so he could turn into an alley quicker, and the guy on the bike swerved through the said stopped traffic in the opposite direction in order to cross the road even though there was a controlled crosswalk a couple meters ahead.

    When the van hit him he did a nice barrel roll and got up a couple seconds later. He wasn't wearing a helmet or shirt and created a pretty meaty thud as they made impact, so that was kind of cool.

    I can enjoy these things more when I know no one got seriously injured and they were both to blame for being stupid.

    Unless he has internal bleeding in which case I'm kind of an asshole.

    Cristoval on
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Polago wrote: »
    Stale wrote: »
    ONCE AGAIN, stale one-ups everybody else

    WHAT A SURPRISE, STALE

    It's not my fault I'm like a fucking magnet for terrible shit.


    It's just what I am.

    Am, do, close enough.

    Did they remove all the glass from your lungs or is there some Tony Stark shit going on there?

    a few tiny pieces remain but they haven't caused any problems

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Cristoval wrote: »
    I saw a dude on a bicycle get smoked by a van today.

    It was both of their stupid asses fault, since the guy in the van swerved into the right hand lane to pass some traffic stopped at a red light just so he could turn into an alley quicker, and the guy on the bike swerved through the said stopped traffic in the opposite direction in order to cross the road even though there was a controlled crosswalk a couple meters ahead.

    When the van hit him he did a nice barrel roll and got up a couple seconds later. He wasn't wearing a helmet or shirt and created a pretty meaty thud as they made impact, so that was kind of cool.

    I can enjoy these things more when I know no one got seriously injured and they were both to blame for being stupid.

    Unless he has internal bleeding in which case I'm kind of an asshole.
    a cyclist not wearing a helmet or a shirt cuts dangerously across traffic?

    the internal bleeding is well deserved

    Faricazy on
  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    I told him that I didn't appreciate the tone he was taking with me, that I was the purchaser of this car, not my father, me and as such, he should treat me like a customer not some spoiled dick ruining some car his daddy bought him. I told him that I didn't appreciate having to bring my car back for things that couldn't be my fault, things like wires not properly connected or pulleys falling out. Then I told him not to worry because I couldn't wait to get rid of that piece of shit.

    He turned around and muttered, 'Good'.

    Such a rude dick hole.

    Wait so you didn't end up getting it fixed?

    No, this is when I came to pick the car up after they fixed it for the final time.

    Then, one day when I took a friend to get a tattoo in san jose, a truck lost control while driving, and spun out into my car, totaling it. This was five minutes after I was standing next to it, smoking a cigarette and thinking 'I hate you so fucking much, I wish I could get rid of you'.

    The money I got back from the total was $8,000 more than previous dealerships had quoted me for a trade in.

    Filler Inc. on
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Polago wrote: »
    Stale wrote: »
    ONCE AGAIN, stale one-ups everybody else

    WHAT A SURPRISE, STALE

    It's not my fault I'm like a fucking magnet for terrible shit.


    It's just what I am.

    Am, do, close enough.

    Did they remove all the glass from your lungs or is there some Tony Stark shit going on there?

    WE HAVE CREATED A TINY GLASS-MAGNET TO KEEP THE SHRAPNEL FROM YOUR HEART

    IN A CAVE

    WITH SCRAPS

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Fatty McBeardoFatty McBeardo Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Seriously guys, buckle the fuck up, and punch your friends if you see them driving without buckling up.

    I would be dead if I hadn't of been wearing a seat belt, no exaggeration.

    Fatty McBeardo on
  • TenTen Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    Ten wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    What do you want Ten?

    A fucking medal?

    With 'WORLDS BEST DRIVER' on it

    And 'ALSO HAS A BIG DICK' on the back

    I was more going for the joke that you went BRAKE and I answered.

    You've gotten used to Viv calling you that?

    :P

    Oh man, I finally got the joke Blake was going for

    I am the least racist

    Ten on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You are the reast lacist ten.

    Blake T on
  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Seriously guys, buckle the fuck up, and punch your friends if you see them driving without buckling up.

    I would be dead if I hadn't of been wearing a seat belt, no exaggeration.

    "hadn't been" is sufficient, fyi

    Randall_Flagg on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Seriously guys, buckle the fuck up, and punch your friends if you see them driving without buckling up.

    I would be dead if I hadn't of been wearing a seat belt, no exaggeration.

    "hadn't been" is sufficient, fyi

    Goddammit I hate agreeing with Randall here, but yeah... uh.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    I abide the rules of the road and have not gotten into an accident.

    So there.

    Man, I've obeyed the rules of the road to and someone has still gone up my backside.

    Blake, please, what you do on the road and in the bedroom are totally unlrelated.

    hurf durf

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • ZachardeZacharde Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I have been lucky - aside from the inevitable parking lot scrapes I've never been involved in a serious automobile accident.

    But about 16 years ago I get a call at ridiculous o' clock in the morning from the hospital telling me they have my sister in surgery, and that I should get there VERY VERY quickly. I woke my parents up and we rushed down.

    When I got there they told us they had found the twisted remains of her car embedded in a rock face along the side of the highway. They had no way of telling how long she had been there before she had been spotted, and between the severity of the accident and the delay in getting her to treatment, things were looking very bad. I won't list the full extent of her injuries here, but at one point that day the surgeons were trying to remove fragments of her jaw from her lungs so they could re-inflate.

    Once I established that there was nothing further we could do but wait, I asked after her passenger. My sister does NOT drink, so she is always designated driver at a party. She almost certainly had a passenger.

    They checked with EMS and told me there was no sign of anyone else at the scene, and I must be mistaken. After 10 minutes of arguing, I got on the phone with the hosts of the party, and we established she had in fact been driving a friend home. A search party was organized, and about 2 hours later they brought in the passenger, who evidently had not worn her seatbelt, and was ejected clear of the vehicle. At which point it seems she got up, brushed herself off, and wandered in a confused daze through the bushes until found. Other than some cuts and bruises, she was essentially fine.
    It is possible that not wearing a seatbelt saved the passengers life in this one instance. But if you think this is an argument for not wearing YOUR seatbelt, I would direct you to the nearest emergency room, where any nurse will passionately explain the basic statistics to you. Don't be a dick. Wear your seatbelt.

    I knew staff at that hospital very well, thanks to a misspent youth and a lot of court mandated community service. So in the break between surgeries I wheedled my way in to seeing her. I've seen some bad things in my life, but I literally didn't recognize what they showed me as human, much less as family.

    8 weeks in intensive care - most of it touch and go. 6 additional months in hospital. 2 years of intense therapy and followup.

    Today, thanks to doctors and surgeons who never even once considered giving up, nurses who noticed every detail, and plain old fashioned miracle, my sister is once again a healthy, attractive woman with a wonderful family. The total cost to my family for her care? Less than $200.00 CAN to cover the ambulance ride.
    Oh, did I mention I am Canadian? Today I live in the USA, and lately every time my nationality comes up in conversation some misinformed ass seems compelled to lecture me on how messed up socialized health care is, and to drone on about some mythological waiting list. If that happens to be you at the time, please know that I'm doing my best not to punch you in the face.

    So yeah, accidents are bullshit. But they happen. And every one you walk away from is a good one.

    Zacharde on
    "For future reference, I was sort of hoping for a suggestion that didn't sound like it came from that Bolshevik Muppet with all the dynamite."
  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    It is still not legal for me to drive.

    HOW OLD YOU FEEL NOW?!

    I Win Swordfights on
    lfYVHTd.png
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    So really, if she was drunk she would have had that accident would she?

    There is a lesson here to be learnt folks.

    (seriously though that sounds like a messed up accident, was she left with any bad scaring or anything?)

    Blake T on
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Today at work the fuel delivery truck was was stuck in two and a half hours of traffic because of a collision on the interstate. A car swiped another car - the word is that the driver of the swiper was perhaps driving under the influence. The car that was swiped was packed full, like six people, none of which were wearing seatbelts. The car lost control and did all sorts of crazy shit and just started ejecting people - two of the passengers were children.

    Parents of the Goddamned year right there.

    Here's the article.

    Goddamn.
    http://www.khq.com/Global/story.asp?S=10507098

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • ZachardeZacharde Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    So really, if she was drunk she would have had that accident would she?

    There is a lesson here to be learnt folks.

    (seriously though that sounds like a messed up accident, was she left with any bad scaring or anything?)

    Surprisingly little scarring on the face, especially considering that they pretty much rebuilt her jaw from the pieces. My sister likes to joke that she even looks a little better now than she did before, and the kicker is, she may well be right. The plastic surgeon who handled the reconstructive work was way way better than we could have hoped for.

    There's some nasty scarring elsewhere, but clothes cover that, so who cares. Of course, the reconstructive work surgery is one of the last things they do, so there were a few horrific months first.

    My mother once said that the doctors saved my sisters life, but it was the plastic surgeons who made her want to live it again. That may sound shallow, but my sisters recovery didn't really begin until she could look at herself in the mirror and recognize what she saw. No one wants to look like a monster, and an extended hospital stay can be pretty de-humanizing.

    Zacharde on
    "For future reference, I was sort of hoping for a suggestion that didn't sound like it came from that Bolshevik Muppet with all the dynamite."
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Goddamn.

    I try and imagine something like that happening to a close friend or loved one whilst I'm out on the road and pretty much any thoughts of driving like a dick disappear instantly.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    When late for work one morning I took a corner too fast, lost control, and ended up taking out a long section of someone's fence before making it back on the road.

    I work in fencing, and I'm pretty sure they came in later that day to buy supplies to repair it.

    Soon after passing my test, I also got stuck on a busy intersection set on a hill. Messed up my hill start half a dozen times in a row, creeping backwards a few more inches each time.

    By the time I managed it, my car was resting against the bumper of the one behind.

    Nothing exciting.

    Yet.

    Sunday_Assassin on
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    One time in high school I was driving home from a friend's house and took a turn waaaaay too fast. I spun into the ditch on the other side of the road and came to a stop about three feet from a telephone pole. I would have t-boned it on the passenger side if I'd started the spin half a second later. Fortunately, some dudes I knew just happened to drive by with a pickup and a chain five minutes later and there was exactly zero damage to my car.

    It still runs great to this day.

    I swear to god, nothing can stop a '93 Geo Prizm.

    Shorty on
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    the OP is why I use my handbrake at traffic lights

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You mean you have your footbrake down and your handbrake active at the same time?

    Cause otherwise, man, a handbrake on its own doesn't do that much extra does it? I mean, it could probably be just enough if the car behind you doesn't hit with too much force, but at a certain speed it doesn't really matter I would imagine.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • GlorfindelGlorfindel Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    who would you sue if you got hurt not wearing your seat belt?

    that's like suing if you got hurt not wearing your bicycle helmet

    Remember the lady who sued because her coffee was too hot?

    The burgler that hurt himself and sued the home owners of the house he broke into?

    This is America son.

    Wayyyyyyy late, but...

    People ragging on the McDonald's coffee case kind of annoys me. In a quick and basic way of putting it, McDonald's had known for quite sometime that they were serving their coffee at temperatures way too hot. Despite the magnitude and severity of risk of extreme scalding, McDonald's never took the simple precaution of serving their coffee at a lower temperature.

    That's how negligence works, right across countries that have a common law system and tort law. That case could have happened in the UK, Australia, New Zealand, etc and the outcome would have likely been the same. I

    Fuck that post comes across as anal, but it is annoying as a law student to hear people go 'olol stupid coffee woman' without understanding the reasoning behind the case.

    Glorfindel on
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You mean you have your footbrake down and your handbrake active at the same time?

    Cause otherwise, man, a handbrake on its own doesn't do that much extra does it? I mean, it could probably be just enough if the car behind you doesn't hit with too much force, but at a certain speed it doesn't really matter I would imagine.

    It doesn't do much extra but the main problem is that people feel compelled to take their foot off the brake when something smashes into the car, keeping the handbrake up ensures that it's at least going to be less of a clusterfuck.

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2009
    You mean you have your footbrake down and your handbrake active at the same time?

    Cause otherwise, man, a handbrake on its own doesn't do that much extra does it? I mean, it could probably be just enough if the car behind you doesn't hit with too much force, but at a certain speed it doesn't really matter I would imagine.

    It's taught in the UK that when you're sat still (at a traffic light or otherwise) to have the car in neutral (for manuals, anyway) and your handbrake on. Then when the light starts to change you can put it in first and get your clutch ready to move away.

    That doesn't mean that people still won't sit with their brake lights on blinding everyone behind but it's what you're meant to do.

    SporkAndrew on
    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    also WHY ARE NOBODY'S LIGHTS PROPERLY ALIGNED

    so many times I've flashed some guy for coming up with what I presume to be his full beams on, then he flashes back and it's like a goddamn solar flare

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I was in an accident bad enough that 6 cars were involved and it closed down 95 North just outside of Baltimore on a Friday at 5pm for 45 minutes in two Augusts ago.

    Can you begin to imagine how many miles the traffic backed up? I don't think you can.

    DrZiplock on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I was waiting for a car to merge at a particularly busy intersection, and I saw their brake lights dim, turned my head to see that the single truck coming was in the far lane, and pushed on my gas pedal as I turned my head to find that the PT Cruiser in front of me had not, in fact, gone anywhere. Luckily you can't get much acceleration in 2 feet and all I did was bump them around a bit. My record is still clean, hooray!

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Polago wrote: »
    Meiz wrote: »
    Polago wrote: »
    On new year's eve on my way out to mully's place (I think), I was smoked by an asian driver who slowed down for me to walk across a crosswalk, gassed when I was in the center of the road, then sped away after I rolled over his hood and off the windshield. Guessing he was drunk cause asians and alcohol in riced integras on new year's, lol stereotypes. Walking home and resting on the couch felt pretty good after that.

    Jesus christ! Are you like an asshole magnet or something that people keep having to pull this shit?

    I'm guessing you should start carrying a gun.

    Nah, it's overwhelmingly good happy encounters with people, so these few bad apples are ok.

    Reminds me of a while back though on Canada Day in 2006. Gertbeef told me to go out and get stupid instead of spending the night in and working on business related paperwork. I headed out to Whyte Ave and had a good time people watching, carousing and having a couple pints o' Guinness. Nearing the end of the night, I struck up a conversation with an attractive and well spoken dyed blonde lass. This lasted 5 minutes until her "boyfriend" and his friend appeared out of nowhere and tried to get violent. I didn't want any trouble, bid them goodnight, and headed out. They followed me trying to pick a fight. Long story short, they wouldn't piss off, got physical, "boyfriend" ended up with a shattered nose in his forehead, and I ended up with a bottle shattered on my head. Three cheers for Canada Day!

    Still a fun night out. :D

    Wait, where in Canada are you?

    Meiz on
  • HoA-playerHoA-player Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I rear ended three cars so far. Twice some random guy on a rain slick road and once the wife of the guy who owns the workshop where we always brin our cars. Right in front of the workshop too so at least I didn't have to get towed.
    Always on the way home from work because I get tired as fuck while driving after work. But as soon as I get home and step out of my car I'm wide awake again.

    To avoid this in the future I took the first chance I got an moved so close to work that I can take public transpotation to get there. Which now is both cheaper and faster then driving. Hooray for German trains running on time. :P

    HoA-player on
  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    God damn, Stale is such a fucking badass.

    msuitepyon on
  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I've t-boned somebody that sped through a stop sign. I didn't have my license at the time so I ran home (about two blocks away), and came back with my oldest brother. The police thankfully decided that he was in the passenger seat which made it okay for me to be driving (had my permit and he was a licensed driver over 21). It was pretty rad besides the car being totaled and walking to work for the next few months.

    Last summer I fell asleep at the wheel, and woke up to find myself hopping the curb on the opposite end of the road going about 60, and went into a ditch. I'll miss you, my precious little Kia.

    Crashmo on
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  • Teslan26Teslan26 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Few years ago, I was unemplyoed and nearly broke,. A deer jumped out right in front of my car, about 150m after I had slowed down and avoided 2 others. I was still going 30mph and the damn thing just jumps out, and does £450 worth of damage.

    Gashtastic

    Teslan26 on
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    and people wonder why I don't have my licence yet

    L|ama on
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    I was in an accident bad enough that 6 cars were involved and it closed down 95 North just outside of Baltimore on a Friday at 5pm for 45 minutes in two Augusts ago.

    Can you begin to imagine how many miles the traffic backed up? I don't think you can.

    Oh man, people were probably detouring through fucking NYC to save time. That sounds horrendous.

    Gafoto on
    sierracrest.jpg
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    so I lived on a big hill in middle and high school, rode my bike in every morning

    one day in sixth grade, I'm coming down the hill a little fast, and came to this nice blind s-curve in the road

    turns out a rather large truck was coming up the hill at the same time

    so I have about a quarter-second to decide what to do, and I elect to aim for the bushes to the left of the truck rather than the 80-foot ravine to its right

    I didn't make the bushes, but the driver of the truck says I bounced backwards off the hood of his truck by easily ten feet

    good times

    MrMonroe on
  • fshavlakfshavlak Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Glad you & your friend are OK. I hope your friend got all the insurance info, etc. from everyone.

    Some dumbass girl hit me just months after I bought my car too. Busy Chicago street, waiting in traffic and she decides to turn right into me. Pushed me forward into a cab.

    It's bulllshit cars are designed essentially to fall apart at the tiniest bump. Goddamn "crumple zones" just means you're replacing your car for what would have been a paint scratch 15 years ago.

    This is true, but it also means that you are walking away a little dazed from what would have been a trip to the morgue 15 years ago.

    Crumple zones are absolutely a good thing.

    I guess I'll contribute. No accidents outside of once hitting a truck's hitch at a stoplight, no damage, no report. Actually, the license plate holder of my (bitchin) 1991 Sable was all mangled, as was the plate. I was 16, and I parked it close to the wood pile that evening so my parents wouldn't notice (I was stressed that entire day at school). The next day my older sister was driving the car and rear-ended someone in traffic much harder (still no real damage to either car) but she freaked out and called home about it. I guess I'll tell everyone in my family that story someday, but I got away clean!

    My biggest close call was driving from Houston to San Antonio. I was making this drive a couple times a week due to my work situation. long story short, I was tired and fell asleep at the wheel. I woke up still on the highway but with my tires on the warning strip. I have no idea how long I had been asleep. At least a half mile, possibly much longer. That could have easily been the last day of my life. I took the next exit, parked at a gas station and took a nap. When I woke up I bought (my first) cup of coffee and continued. I guess it makes sense that the day sleeping almost kills me is the day I started my coffee addiction.

    fshavlak on
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