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Girl Question (#69, lolo)
Penguin_Otaku
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So my buddies and me decided to go eat and see The Hangover tonight, awesome.
I invited this girl who just back into Norman after a stay in Florida for some health issues (depressed and was anorexic/bulimic) and is now back. She said that'd be awesome and would love to come.
So just a quick question, should I buy her ticket? We've known each other... just a bit. We had a bowling class, bowled together a few times but never really conversed. She sought me out and added me on FB and we started chatting a bit and made sure to let me know she was back in town for the summer.
I'm fairly sure there's some interest there. Before school was out we had dinner plans, but she backed out because she was still getting over her ex and I told her I appreciated the honesty and we'd try again sometime. She kept talking to me which was a surprise because usually when someone backs out on me there's an awkwardness there the other never really overcomes and we have an awkward acquaintanceship with one another.
Anyway, I'm sure I'm blowing this WAY out of proportion... I just don't want to make a rookie mistake. It's been ever so long since I've really been out with anyone I didn't know pretty will since my last two relationships took up the last... 4 years or so of my dating experience. Thanks in advance.
I invited this girl who just back into Norman after a stay in Florida for some health issues (depressed and was anorexic/bulimic) and is now back. She said that'd be awesome and would love to come.
So just a quick question, should I buy her ticket? We've known each other... just a bit. We had a bowling class, bowled together a few times but never really conversed. She sought me out and added me on FB and we started chatting a bit and made sure to let me know she was back in town for the summer.
I'm fairly sure there's some interest there. Before school was out we had dinner plans, but she backed out because she was still getting over her ex and I told her I appreciated the honesty and we'd try again sometime. She kept talking to me which was a surprise because usually when someone backs out on me there's an awkwardness there the other never really overcomes and we have an awkward acquaintanceship with one another.
Anyway, I'm sure I'm blowing this WAY out of proportion... I just don't want to make a rookie mistake. It's been ever so long since I've really been out with anyone I didn't know pretty will since my last two relationships took up the last... 4 years or so of my dating experience. Thanks in advance.
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First situation I'd say pay, second I'd say not pay.
I suppose it depends... if she's a stable, chill person I'd say just buy her the ticket. Don't be weird about it, just tell her you picked it up for her. If she offers to/insists on paying you back just be casual about it.
If she's the jumpy type don't pay this time. Just go to the movie with her and if you have a good time let her know that you had a good time and you'd like to hang out again sometime, perhaps just the two of you. :winky:
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
To be chivalrous?
And it was the latter of the situations, so that's why I don't want to make her feel... trapped like I lured her into a date or something.
Ninja Edit: So wait, if we go to dinner do I pay for that too? Fuck. Too many variables.
well she is buying food now... But seriously, there is zero reason for you buy the ticket. Womyn are equal yo.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Relax.
Don't care what it is, unless you've previously established that you are in a relationship with someone a woman who pays for her own ticket is less likely to realize you think of her as a girlfriend unless it's been explicitly acknowledged...
By buying the ticket for her you're implying "I'm interested in you and I this is a date", at which point you'll need to keep consistant and keep paying for things throughout, buying a ticket to a movie and not paying for her dinner implies "Hey, I like you, but you're not worth much more than a movie", or something to that effect...
Again, unless you've gotten things previously established about the conditions of the relationship, which it does not sound like you have...
I would casually ask if you could buy her her ticket just to be safe, if she says no then you know she's just not that into you, if she says yes then you know things are on the level...
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I always buy tickets for my female friends, but it's easier for me to do because I'm not poor and have few female friends that go to movies.
You know what? I think too much is being read into this. Oftentimes when I invite a friend, or if my wife and I invite couples out we will pay for them. We invited them out. We wanted to enjoy their company and treat them to something. We have seen this reciprocated amongst our friends as well.
It does not have to be more complicated than the above. Hey, do you want to go see a movie with us? I'll pick up the ticket for you. Welcome back to town.
That is my opinion.
Nothing has been established as far as us being a relationship in any sense. It does seem as though the thought of one is not beyond her seeing as she said she wasn't ready before. It's not some attempt to simply hook up with her because she seems like a cool girl and one, in any sense, that I'd like to be good friends with.
Thank you guys for the advice. It will probably be a game time decision, but I'm thinking of just paying for it in then end. Not to say that she can't or is unable to, but simply to try and be a gentleman.
Noquar; I like your situation and explanation. Thank you.
Pay if you want. Just don't be that guy who gets stuck paying for everything cause you think its what you ought to do. And I suggest you letting her buy it this time and then in the future if anything develops then treat her or have her treat you. That feels pretty good.
Go get coffee with her, buy her that, and sit and chat. Very informal pre-date.
Problem is, buying her everything can sometimes be frowned upon because it creates a certain expectation. It's like, he just spend $30 on me, does he expect me to kiss him now?
Like "Hey wanna come to see this movie with me?" then she says "nah, im broke" then you say "It's cool, i'll pay."
Otherwise it is weird. So, no, don't buy the ticket. You don't need to buy to make it a date either. If she is into you she will be into you either way.
but they're listening to every word I say
Look just say,"Hey want to share some popcorn?" and buy the popcorn. Maybe get a big drink with 2 straws....
Some women like it when you buy things for them all the time...MOST of them are not worth your time. If a girl likes you romanticly it is not gonna come down to "did he buy my movie ticket?" for her to decide if she wants to date you. If it does, then you know what type of woman she is.
My personal preference now is to be generous and pay for a date when I first invite a woman out. However, I don't go around paying for everything. If you have to pay for everything all the time for the girl to come, then they aren't interested in you. They just want the free stuff.
Anyways good luck and hope your jitters clear up.
If she doesn't bring it up, don't assume you're on a date now. She could just not be thinking, or could expect people to pay for her, or maybe she thinks they were won in a contest or were free passes, or who knows what.
I've paid for other people's movie tickets all the time (and had mine paid for) cause sometimes one person goes and buys tix for the group; everything gets sorted out later (unless all your friends are mooching douchebags). I've bought for people I don't know and it works the same way.
You're thinking about this way too much. This is usually a bad thing if you're trying to impress someone. The payment arrangements for the tickets are just details, don't get hung up on that shit if you're thinking her pants are something in which you want to get.
Buy the ticket. Tell her you picked it up for her. It isn't a big deal
Seriously.
That's ridiculous.
Sure, it could potentially be a problem, but so could anything. Assuming she's been treated, she could be perfectly fine.
It'll be perfect. Hopefully - probably, if she's like most girls - she'll love the surprise, and most importantly, it will be a "hey, I'm into you." As for dinner - if it's in a big group, probably not, since it's more of a tip-off than a date. Follow up after dinner, or if you talk with her during dinner primarily - almost to the point it is a date - you could go ahead and pay for it and say you want to do it again but just the two of you.
I mean, it's 6 bucks, and I don't think any girl is going to be offended by it unless she's crazy.
GM: Rusty Chains (DH Ongoing)
Exactly. It's 6 bucks . Just buy the ticket.
I am very lucky to be alive after tonight though, that... date or whatever it was was a goddamn train wreck.
If this is a group think she is coming to(which it seems to be), then pay for her ticket but make sure your other friends talk to her some too. Its not that complicated... people like to be around happy other people. Be a happy other person, show your personality some, and be done with it. If she is into you, you guys can go out alone later. If shes not, she probably will just kind of disappear.
In short:
Buy her ticket. Its 2009, men don't have to buy tickets anymore.. so do it anyways, because its nice.
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Ha! Now I want to hear the details!
I bet he didn't pay for the ticket.
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