As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

[Mini-phalla] Steampunk Epilogue: Village Wins

1356724

Posts

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    how in the world did you almost burn down your kitchen?

    lonelyahava on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    how in the world did you almost burn down your kitchen?

    Some people cook food, ahava.

    You should take note, lest you die an old maid.

    Nocturne on
  • SpectrumSpectrum Archer of Inferno Chaldea Rec RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    how in the world did you almost burn down your kitchen?
    I had a friend who used to cook pasta by throwing individual pieces into the boiling pot one by one before we taught him better.

    Spectrum on
    XNnw6Gk.jpg
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich Zahn wrote: »
    Metal Men, be not afraid!

    I am a tinkerer from the wonderful Wangcastle university, I have devoted my life to the manufacture of thinking machines, only to be confronted by rumors of their already existing, my goal is to study such beings so that I may create more!

    Additionally, anyone who finds my dueling gauntlets please give them to me.

    They're heirlooms, black, rather heavy.

    Neutral?

    .....let me translate into classical phalla language.
    I am a goomba from the wonderful Italy university, I have devoted my life to the recruitment of thinking mafioso, only to be confronted by rumors of their already existing, my goal is to study such beings so that I may create more (mafia)!

    I'm really really confused why you would announce that you think the bad guys are cool and you really want to make more of them.

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich, you should have edited that out and said it was a joke so you could go on living forever.

    Ask Gnersh about how it's done.

    Nocturne on
  • BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Night Zero: Tragedy

    The invited guests assembled, and slowly proceeded towards the main dining room of the Phallae. She was truly a magnificent craft, the height of exquisite design and masterly craftsmanship. Her walls stretched nearly as high as the eye could see; through decadent windows, one could observe the clouds passing by. A gentleman laughed, the monocle decorated with miniature clockwork twitching in his eye, as the alcohol flowed freely and inebriation began to set in.

    The workers aboard the ship obviously did not enjoy such festivities, for it was their lot in life to not enjoy the decadence that surrounded them. But who would care of those with no power in society? Surely not anyone of sufficiently high breeding to be invited aboard the Phallae.

    The monocled gentleman began to caress a rather beguiling young lady, when tragedy struck the Phallae. An explosion rocked her wings, and the guests were thrown from their feet. In the commotion, a shot was accidentally fired - and as a young noble threw his flintlock pistol to the floor in grief, he realised that the thing that he had just shot was not human.

    Lying in the centre of the Phallae's exquisite dining room, a corpse lay twitching. Its innards revealed clockwork, and steam hissed out from its clenched teeth; the poor creature exerted, trying to utter some last words, but the noble interrupted its vocalisations with a second pistol shot to the skull. Glass shattered in place of bone, and the twisted mockery of a man wound down for the final time.

    The assembled guests paused, in shock.

    A tragedy, and a mystery.

    Day One has begun.

    The main engine is in perfect condition.
    The secondary engine is in perfect condition.
    The cockpit is in perfect condition.
    The port wing has been badly damaged.
    The starboard wing has been badly damaged.
    The dorsal fin is in perfect condition.

    Day one shall end in roughly 24 hours' time, at 0100 GMT.

    Burnage on
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Dreadfully sorry, my family gauntlets are red and white, my memory is not what it used to be.

    I may have even given them away.

    I need them however, their construction will provide insight as how best to structure my prototypical automata.

    Edith Upwards on
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ....but they're the bad guys.

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    OH DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE THEY WROUGHT?

    Also, I would appreciate if Albedo and Rubedo were delivered to me.

    Edith Upwards on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I...


    What?

    Nocturne on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Kay wrote: »
    monoclewrexp.jpg: Barkley. The most interesting fights found me while in your company. Let us hope times continue to be interesting. ...Do you think there are fish in that ornamental pond? I am hungry.

    victorianbarkley.png: Sir Wrex, I daresay that very interesting fights will present themselves to us during our journeys. May we be spared from technical fouls.

    Erich Zahn doesn't seem interested in aiding the Phallae, but rather himself. Quite selfish of him, but these are merely off court shenanigans. We need to focus on the greater threat presented by the automata.

    Alas, my analysis reveals that !SpectralSpork is quite high on the MVP of Suspiciousness rankings. If he does not up his game like a gentlemen would, then there shall be quite a bandwagoning to be had.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • DaiusDaius Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Mary and Joseph EZ. Why would you do such a ridiculous thing.

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
  • ZellpherZellpher Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich Zahn Well, that was surprisingly easy.

    Zellpher on
  • SpectralSporkSpectralSpork Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Simonwolf for appearing characteristically innocent!

    And you, B:L, think you are gentlemanly enough for me? Poppycock, I am so undenaibly manly that Phallae herself trembles when I tough the walls of this vessel.

    SpectralSpork on
  • GrimmyTOAGrimmyTOA Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Unless there is a deeper plan at work here -- one unintelligible to me -- Erich Zahn has gone quite mad. He should probably be ejected from the Dockomatic Air-Locking device without further delay.

    Creating more of those soulless machines sounds like a consummation not devoutly to be wished, to this Aero-naut.

    GrimmyTOA on
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I was lying, about being a researcher.

    I desire nothing more than to kill automata and STOP THE TICKING, STOP THE DAMNABLE TICKING!

    I do not actually NEED the gauntlets nor do I have any more information on them, I posess the black one, Nigredo, knowing the naming convention and that such implements come in pairs I would like to trade it for a weapon capable of killing those who WEARING HUMAN FLESH THEY WALK AMONGST US.

    Edith Upwards on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    And you, B:L, think you are gentlemanly enough for me? Poppycock, I am so undenaibly manly that Phallae herself trembles when I tough the walls of this vessel.

    victorianbarkley.png: Nay, Count Spork. The vessel trembles under the weight of your sins.

    Unless Erich Zahn is conditioned to destroy the Phallae, he should be no concern of ours. At this moment in time, that should be the current damage to the wings. Given that I am Never Evil, I will offer to organize any engineers or mechanics with repair experience to tackle these immediate burning issues.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich Zahn has gone quite mad.

    HE IS ONE OF THEM, HE KNOWS WHAT I DID TO HIS MECHANICAL CONSORT!

    Edith Upwards on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich Zahn wrote: »
    Erich Zahn has gone quite mad.

    HE IS ONE OF THEM, HE KNOWS WHAT I DID TO HIS MECHANICAL CONSORT!

    victorianbarkley.png: To this point, I agree. !GrimmyTOA needs to be ejected from this court as he is personally foul.

    Count Spork shall have his trial some day, but not today.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • Kay2Kay2 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    B:L wrote: »
    Kay wrote: »
    monoclewrexp.jpg: Barkley. The most interesting fights found me while in your company. Let us hope times continue to be interesting. ...Do you think there are fish in that ornamental pond? I am hungry.

    victorianbarkley.png: Sir Wrex, I daresay that very interesting fights will present themselves to us during our journeys. May we be spared from technical fouls.

    Erich Zahn doesn't seem interested in aiding the Phallae, but rather himself. Quite selfish of him, but these are merely off court shenanigans. We need to focus on the greater threat presented by the automata.

    Alas, my analysis reveals that !SpectralSpork is quite high on the MVP of Suspiciousness rankings. If he does not up his game like a gentlemen would, then there shall be quite a bandwagoning to be had.

    monoclewrexp.jpg: Indeed, Barkley. One must however note that there was no malice in his voice. A shame, really. I could do with a spot of limb-rending right now. Besides, if he can make these [strike]Geth[/strike], ahem, these metal men, perhaps he could prove useful.

    You say that the Spork's Spectre is suspicious? Allow me five minutes alone in a room with him, and a firearm of dubious legality. I'm sure we will find out soon enough.

    Kay2 on
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    B:L wrote: »
    And you, B:L, think you are gentlemanly enough for me? Poppycock, I am so undenaibly manly that Phallae herself trembles when I tough the walls of this vessel.

    victorianbarkley.png: Nay, Count Spork. The vessel trembles under the weight of your sins.

    Unless Erich Zahn is conditioned to destroy the Phallae, he should be no concern of ours. At this moment in time, that should be the current damage to the wings. Given that I am Never Evil, I will offer to organize any engineers or mechanics with repair experience to tackle these immediate burning issues.

    This is a bad idea folks.

    Right now we have two damaged locations and absolutely no reason to trust B "No, no, that guy who said he likes automatons is a horrible choice for no reason" :L with the list of people who could stop this vessel from plummeting to the earth.

    We really need to preserve those who can repair or else the phalla side of this is going to be irrelevant. Right now if you can repair, flip a damn coin and wait until we have some way of establishing some trust. Even if it's just a day of voting patterns or some such.

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • SpectralSporkSpectralSpork Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    B:L wrote: »
    And you, B:L, think you are gentlemanly enough for me? Poppycock, I am so undenaibly manly that Phallae herself trembles when I tough the walls of this vessel.

    victorianbarkley.png: Nay, Count Spork. The vessel trembles under the weight of your sins.

    Unless Erich Zahn is conditioned to destroy the Phallae, he should be no concern of ours. At this moment in time, that should be the current damage to the wings. Given that I am Never Evil, I will offer to organize any engineers or mechanics with repair experience to tackle these immediate burning issues.

    This is a bad idea folks.

    Right now we have two damaged locations and absolutely no reason to trust B "No, no, that guy who said he likes automatons is a horrible choice for no reason" :L with the list of people who could stop this vessel from plummeting to the earth.

    We really need to preserve those who can repair or else the phalla side of this is going to be irrelevant. Right now if you can repair, flip a damn coin and wait until we have some way of establishing some trust. Even if it's just a day of voting patterns or some such.

    Perhaps someone can get their epic reveal on? :winky:

    SpectralSpork on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    B:L wrote: »
    And you, B:L, think you are gentlemanly enough for me? Poppycock, I am so undenaibly manly that Phallae herself trembles when I tough the walls of this vessel.

    victorianbarkley.png: Nay, Count Spork. The vessel trembles under the weight of your sins.

    Unless Erich Zahn is conditioned to destroy the Phallae, he should be no concern of ours. At this moment in time, that should be the current damage to the wings. Given that I am Never Evil, I will offer to organize any engineers or mechanics with repair experience to tackle these immediate burning issues.

    This is a bad idea folks.

    Right now we have two damaged locations and absolutely no reason to trust B "No, no, that guy who said he likes automatons is a horrible choice for no reason" :L with the list of people who could stop this vessel from plummeting to the earth.

    We really need to preserve those who can repair or else the phalla side of this is going to be irrelevant. Right now if you can repair, flip a damn coin and wait until we have some way of establishing some trust. Even if it's just a day of voting patterns or some such.

    This man speaks the truth.

    Nocturne on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Nocturne wrote: »
    B:L wrote: »
    And you, B:L, think you are gentlemanly enough for me? Poppycock, I am so undenaibly manly that Phallae herself trembles when I tough the walls of this vessel.

    victorianbarkley.png: Nay, Count Spork. The vessel trembles under the weight of your sins.

    Unless Erich Zahn is conditioned to destroy the Phallae, he should be no concern of ours. At this moment in time, that should be the current damage to the wings. Given that I am Never Evil, I will offer to organize any engineers or mechanics with repair experience to tackle these immediate burning issues.

    This is a bad idea folks.

    Right now we have two damaged locations and absolutely no reason to trust B "No, no, that guy who said he likes automatons is a horrible choice for no reason" :L with the list of people who could stop this vessel from plummeting to the earth.

    We really need to preserve those who can repair or else the phalla side of this is going to be irrelevant. Right now if you can repair, flip a damn coin and wait until we have some way of establishing some trust. Even if it's just a day of voting patterns or some such.

    This man speaks the truth.

    victorianbarkley.png: Duke Apathetic has never trusted me. But it is not because I am suspicious, but because he is envious of my B-Ball ability.

    One day, you'll be able to dunk like a star. Until then, keep practicing your layups and let the pros handle this.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • The DagonThe Dagon Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    By the gods, is this thing going to fall out of the sky?!?

    If man were meant to fly, he'd have been granted wings. Not that this monstrous contraption isn't quite impressive, but when it comes to traveling, I'd much prefer a horse or camel that can be tamed and domesticated. Why even one of those great elephants of Africa, with it's giant lumbering feet and sizable mounds of feces, would be much more pleasant than plummeting to the earth like a bird's droppings. I mean, really!

    The Dagon on
    Steam ID : TheDagon
    PSN : TheDagon
    Pretty much every game ever : TheDagon
  • DaiusDaius Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Sir B:L, this appears to be mutiny.

    Step down, lest ye wish this vessel to spiral into anarchy.

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Daius wrote: »
    Sir B:L, this appears to be mutiny.

    Step down, lest ye wish this vessel to spiral into anarchy.

    victorianbarkley.png: Have you lost your mind? I am not the captain, but merely a passenger of The Phallae who wants to make sure we don't get a shot clock violation.

    We need to buy as much time as we can to score over the automatons, and some repairs are set. The rest I'll leave to you.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My word, Squire Dagon.

    If you were so adversed to flying, whyever did you decide to join us upon this journey? It is a deliciously beautiful chance to learn just what it is the tiny birds see as they glide upon the winds.

    I do declare, if you do not wish to fly, then how do you get to be upon this fine ship?

    Unless, of course, you are one of those that wish to bring this beautiful ship crashing to the ground.

    Is that the care, dear Squire?

    Do you truly wish us all to perish?

    lonelyahava on
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I have a confession to make.

    I Daius D. A. esquire am not in fact a professor. Or an engineer. Or a gentleman. I am also not an automata.

    That said the acursed ticking is ge

    ...

    Oh dear.

    Edith Upwards on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My word, Squire Dagon.

    If you were so adversed to flying, whyever did you decide to join us upon this journey? It is a deliciously beautiful chance to learn just what it is the tiny birds see as they glide upon the winds.

    I do declare, if you do not wish to fly, then how do you get to be upon this fine ship?

    Unless, of course, you are one of those that wish to bring this beautiful ship crashing to the ground.

    Is that the care, dear Squire?

    Do you truly wish us all to perish?

    victorianbarkley.png: Perhaps it may seem nightmarish now, but it was once a dream.

    They believe they can fly.
    They believe they can touch the sky.
    They dream about it every night and day.
    Spread their wings and fly away.

    I wouldn't fault Dagon in his present state, as this is a most exhilerating yet exasperating experience, even to experts.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Exhilerating it is indeed.

    Most enticing, Sir Barkley, truly.

    Whom did you suspect again, Sirrah?

    Other than the lunatic in the corner, whom you say is not a danger to us all?

    lonelyahava on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Exhilerating it is indeed.

    Most enticing, Sir Barkley, truly.

    Whom did you suspect again, Sirrah?

    Other than the lunatic in the corner, whom you say is not a danger to us all?

    victorianbarkley.png: Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I do not fear that lunatic. He may quite possibly be dangerous, but I would expect these automatons to be a little bit more discreet in their proceedings. My prognosis is that it is much more likely that he is an idiot.

    As for suspicions, GrimmyTOA had been acting suspicious earlier, but in recent memory...

    !Duke DevoutlyApathetic may be sabotaging The Phallae with either his unwarranted paranoia or his devious deceits. We are in quite a bind right now, and the only way to secure our ship and our safety is to work together, and to trust those who can be trusted. As he is an enemy of the people, he is a friend of the automata.

    B:L on
    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich Zahn seems to not have his personality chip in order. I saw we bash him on the head with a hammer until the gears come out.

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Lawinator, what slight have I committed to be worthy of your wrath?

    Edith Upwards on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My word.

    Oh, my word my word my word.

    A mere idiot. Well, I suppose that there is some comfort to be held there, that he is no more dangerous than that.

    It is quite unusual though, for one such as him to have booked passage upon this fine vessel. But I suppose as the majestic eagle flies, so too does the craven vulture.

    But you, Sir Barkley, I do believe that you are no mere sparrow. And as such, and with your confidence so secure, I believe I shall place myself and my vote with your opinion.

    Let the !Duke Devoutreous Apathetica come forth and answer for these suspicions that have been placed at your feet.

    lonelyahava on
  • Dunadan019Dunadan019 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    bendersteam.jpg: hmm, I do say that these robotic invaders are a troublesome bunch.

    Me? Why no sir, I am Titanius Englesmith, Fancy-Man of Cornwood! and I have nothing to do with these evil blokes.

    I do declare that the fellow godmode should die for shoving me out of my rightful place as player nineteen as we were boarding this glorious vessel. such barbarism should not be tolerated by gentlemen of our persuasion.

    Dunadan019 on
  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Man, I should have signed up for this one.

    Infidel on
    OrokosPA.png
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I SHALL PROVE MY INNOCENCE BY MURDERING THAT GRIMY, TICKING ABOMINATION GRIMMYTOA WITH MY IRON FIST.

    Uh.

    I did not express that properly.

    I also would be quite convenienced by my gauntlet's mate, Albedo. Sadly I do not think that I will continue to live much longer, so the posessor of Albedo should state some details about the matched pair of gloves, their construction, and which hand it is worn on I shall vouch for them in my will.

    Edith Upwards on
  • The_ReflectionThe_Reflection Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My good sirs, it matters no to me who dies, as long as there be metal and wiring under their skin. To that end, I do believe I heard whirling of servos in the chest of one Mr. SpectralSpork Esq.

    The_Reflection on
  • Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I wish not to die due to the machinations of the MECHANICAL MONSTROSITIES arrayed against me.

    Anyway, is there a tailor aboard?

    Edith Upwards on
Sign In or Register to comment.