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Attempting Reconciliation

Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
edited June 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
Yesterday my boyfriend Karl and I had a bit of a falling out. See his brother was home from...wherever he was...for a few days, and according to Karl I was always staring at him. Apparently he thought I was interested in his brother, which is insane in itself because his brother is 23 years old. "Never a problem before," Karl had said "you're into older guys, or you wouldn't be with me." I tried to tell him I wasn't interested in his brother but he wasn't believing a word of it.

Now don't get me wrong, Karl's brother is hot, but only because he looks pretty much exactly like Karl himself.

So how can I convince Karl that I'm not interested in his brother?

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Stevie2Sxc on
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    HK5HK5 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Tell him you're not interested and don't flirt with his brother. Beyond that, Karl's insecurity is Karl's problem.

    HK5 on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    HK5 wrote: »
    Tell him you're not interested and don't flirt with his brother. Beyond that, Karl's insecurity is Karl's problem.
    I've told him that, and I didn't flirt with his brother.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    RazielRaziel Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    So the drama continues to unfold.

    Okay, no offense but teenagers are retarded drama queens. Give Karl a day or two to cool down, and then apologize to him for... I don't know. Something. Make something up, but approach him with contrition. Denying his accusation is just going to make things worse, since you're allegedly hot for his brother AND defying him.

    So, give it a day or two, apologize, and hopefully you two can kiss and make up.

    Raziel on
    Read the mad blog-rantings of a manic hack writer here.

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    Mr. QuarkMr. Quark __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Raziel wrote: »
    So the drama continues to unfold.

    Okay, no offense but teenagers are retarded drama queens. Give Karl a day or two to cool down, and then apologize to him for... I don't know. Something. Make something up, but approach him with contrition. Denying his accusation is just going to make things worse, since you're allegedly hot for his brother AND defying him.

    So, give it a day or two, apologize, and hopefully you two can kiss and make up.
    This.

    Also if Karl gets that upset by the idea of you finding his brother hot, he seems to have some sort of insecurity problem

    Mr. Quark on
    The accumulated filth of all their hackin’ and wackin’ will foam up about their waists, and when all the ghouls and wastlanders of Megaton look up and shout “save us!” I’ll look down and whisper…

    …Tunnel Snakes Rule
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    PaperPrittPaperPritt Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Buh..what?

    Okay, no offense but teenagers are retarded drama queens. Give Karl a day or two to cool down

    So far, so good! but then.....

    and then apologize to him for... I don't know. Something. Make something up, but approach him with contrition

    ehhh? what's this ? why would there be an apology for ? the boyfriend is acting like a complete idiot. Also if you start apologizing everytime he gets angry at something... worse, everytime he gets angry at something that doesn't even exist in the first place...well..uh.. i fear for the future of your relationship.

    Let him cool off sure. apologize for something you didn't do ? fuck no.

    PaperPritt on
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    Canada_jezusCanada_jezus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Yeah i'm going to add my voice to the don't apologize for something you didn't do crowd. Because seriously that would be the worst precedent to set ever.

    Canada_jezus on
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    Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    PaperPritt wrote: »
    ehhh? what's this ? why would there be an apology for ? the boyfriend is acting like a complete idiot. Also if you start apologizing everytime he gets angry at something... worse, everytime he gets angry at something that doesn't even exist in the first place...well..uh.. i fear for the future of your relationship.

    An apology is probably the single best way to diffuse a bad situation in a relationship. It isn't necessarily an admission of guilt; it's simply acknowledging that something went wrong, you're willing to work past it and that, even though you might think you didn't do anything wrong, the other person in the relationship was obviously hurt.

    Actually, OP could simply offer a non-apology. "I'm sorry you felt I was flirting with your brother."

    Richard_Dastardly on
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    Mr. QuarkMr. Quark __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    PaperPritt wrote: »
    ehhh? what's this ? why would there be an apology for ? the boyfriend is acting like a complete idiot. Also if you start apologizing everytime he gets angry at something... worse, everytime he gets angry at something that doesn't even exist in the first place...well..uh.. i fear for the future of your relationship.

    An apology is probably the single best way to diffuse a bad situation in a relationship. It isn't necessarily an admission of guilt; it's simply acknowledging that something went wrong, you're willing to work past it and that, even though you might think you didn't do anything wrong, the other person in the relationship was obviously hurt.

    Actually, OP could simply offer a non-apology. "I'm sorry you felt I was flirting with your brother."
    I agree with this.

    And just noticed Karl mentioning he's an "older guy". How much older cause this could be a weird sort of relationship?

    Mr. Quark on
    The accumulated filth of all their hackin’ and wackin’ will foam up about their waists, and when all the ghouls and wastlanders of Megaton look up and shout “save us!” I’ll look down and whisper…

    …Tunnel Snakes Rule
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Mr. Quark wrote: »
    PaperPritt wrote: »
    ehhh? what's this ? why would there be an apology for ? the boyfriend is acting like a complete idiot. Also if you start apologizing everytime he gets angry at something... worse, everytime he gets angry at something that doesn't even exist in the first place...well..uh.. i fear for the future of your relationship.

    An apology is probably the single best way to diffuse a bad situation in a relationship. It isn't necessarily an admission of guilt; it's simply acknowledging that something went wrong, you're willing to work past it and that, even though you might think you didn't do anything wrong, the other person in the relationship was obviously hurt.

    Actually, OP could simply offer a non-apology. "I'm sorry you felt I was flirting with your brother."
    I agree with this.

    And just noticed Karl mentioning he's an "older guy". How much older cause this could be a weird sort of relationship?
    That seems a good solution, I'm just worried saying that might come off as a bit condescending or something, ya know. "I'm sorry you got the wrong idea" just sounds a bit demeaning to say to someone.

    And I'm 17, Karl's 19. So he's 2 years older than me

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Raziel wrote: »
    Okay, no offense but teenagers are retarded drama queens.


    This pretty much sums it up.

    RocketSauce on
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    ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I bet there is some history between him and his brother and another female; hence the insecurity.

    The non-apology is a good route to start the conversation and it's not demeaning because it's true. You ARE sorry he is being insecure and insane.

    Shawnasee on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    I bet there is some history between him and his brother and another female; hence the insecurity.

    The non-apology is a good route to start the conversation and it's not demeaning because it's true. You ARE sorry he is being insecure and insane.
    You do know I'm a guy right? Or am I just misreading that and getting the wrong idea?

    I know he's being insecure and insane, I'll admit that because that is his nature. But I dunno how it'll sound to him. He'll either see it as a genuine apology which will make him think I was interested in his brother, which I'm not, or he'll see it as a demeaning piss-weak attempt to get back in his good books.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    I bet there is some history between him and his brother and another female; hence the insecurity.

    The non-apology is a good route to start the conversation and it's not demeaning because it's true. You ARE sorry he is being insecure and insane.
    You do know I'm a guy right? Or am I just misreading that and getting the wrong idea?

    I know he's being insecure and insane, I'll admit that because that is his nature. But I dunno how it'll sound to him. He'll either see it as a genuine apology which will make him think I was interested in his brother, which I'm not, or he'll see it as a demeaning piss-weak attempt to get back in his good books.

    oops...missed that.

    You know whats funny is I even double checked when I was reading the OP to make sure you were a female! hahaha...reading incomprehension ftmfl!

    Shawnasee on
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    mysticjuicermysticjuicer [he/him] I'm a muscle wizard and I cast P U N C HRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    An apology is probably the single best way to diffuse a bad situation in a relationship. It isn't necessarily an admission of guilt; it's simply acknowledging that something went wrong, you're willing to work past it and that, even though you might think you didn't do anything wrong, the other person in the relationship was obviously hurt.

    Actually, OP could simply offer a non-apology. "I'm sorry you felt I was flirting with your brother."

    A "non-apology" is just an insult disguised as an apology: "I'm sorry you're a mess of insecurities and can't read basic social cues." I'm not saying you should apologize, but definitely don't pull this kind of bullshit, since it's just an escalation of what Karl's doing, which is picking a fight.
    Stevie2sxc wrote:
    I know he's being insecure and insane, I'll admit that because that is his nature.

    If it's come up before, how did you handle it then? Consider doing that again. I would also recommend telling him how his accusations have made you feel. "When you do X, I feel Y." Where I assume Y = resentment towards Karl for making you feel guilty about something you didn't do. Then, ideally you have a mid to long talk where you learn a little more about eachother and how you both think, what kinds of behaviour you find acceptable, and end up growing and clearing up any misunderstandings.

    Good luck.

    mysticjuicer on
    narwhal wrote:
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    I bet there is some history between him and his brother and another female; hence the insecurity.

    The non-apology is a good route to start the conversation and it's not demeaning because it's true. You ARE sorry he is being insecure and insane.
    You do know I'm a guy right? Or am I just misreading that and getting the wrong idea?

    I know he's being insecure and insane, I'll admit that because that is his nature. But I dunno how it'll sound to him. He'll either see it as a genuine apology which will make him think I was interested in his brother, which I'm not, or he'll see it as a demeaning piss-weak attempt to get back in his good books.

    oops...missed that.

    You know whats funny is I even double checked when I was reading the OP to make sure you were a female! hahaha...reading incomprehension ftmfl!
    Meh, don't worry about it. I get mistaken for a girl a lot. On the phone mostly. People always call me "miss", it's annoying.

    Plus I'll give you credit, you hear "boyfriend" people immediately assume the one talking about it is a girl.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    mfroggmfrogg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I dunno about you peeps, but when my ex gf would say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" in regards to "you're flirting with that guy!" or "why where you blowing him?!" I used to get even more angry. I took it as, "I'm not sorry you misunderstood, and I feel I did nothing wrong, and I'll do it again, even though I know it bothers you."

    She was the only girl who ever made me see red. That's a wierd sensation.

    My opinion: don't apologize for not staring at someone. Just find a way to remind him he's the one you think about.

    mfrogg on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2009
    mfrogg wrote: »
    Just find a way to remind him he's the one you think about.


    And so the weekly Stevie thread has been solved.

    Unknown User on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    mfrogg wrote: »
    I dunno about you peeps, but when my ex gf would say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" in regards to "you're flirting with that guy!" or "why where you blowing him?!" I used to get even more angry. I took it as, "I'm not sorry you misunderstood, and I feel I did nothing wrong, and I'll do it again, even though I know it bothers you."

    She was the only girl who ever made me see red. That's a wierd sensation.

    My opinion: don't apologize for not staring at someone. Just find a way to remind him he's the one you think about.
    See that's what I'm worried about. I just know he'll take it the way you do. And since he could, if he so desired, beat me to a pulp, I'm not big on the idea of possibly pissing him off. I know he never would beat me up, but I've seen him put a guy in hospital before when he was in a bad mood and the guy annoyed him.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    GrimmyTOAGrimmyTOA Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    It sounds to me like your boyfriend is just fishing for some attention. He wants to be told that he's your only guy, and that nobody's as hot as him, and that everything he does is wonderful and special and you're so sorry for having eyeballs.

    The quickest way to defuse this situation is to apologize again and tell him the above things (minus the passive-aggressive stuff at the end, of course). The problem is that doing such a thing will reinforce this sort of behaviour in his mind -- if you feed into this sort of stuff, it will recur every time another guy is in the room.

    By all means apologize, but you need also to firmly tell him that this sort of unfounded jealousy is unattractive and damaging to your relationship.

    GrimmyTOA on
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    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    He sounds like a jackass. Get a new boyfriend.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
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    GrimmyTOAGrimmyTOA Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Jebus actually raises a good point. This guy is a) irrationally jealous, b) emotionally manipulative (might almost say abusive) and c) physically intimidating at the very least.

    The passage "And since he could, if he so desired, beat me to a pulp, I'm not big on the idea of possibly pissing him off. I know he never would beat me up, but I've seen him put a guy in hospital before when he was in a bad mood and the guy annoyed him" is pretty worrying.

    GrimmyTOA on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    GrimmyTOA wrote: »
    Jebus actually raises a good point. This guy is a) irrationally jealous, b) emotionally manipulative (might almost say abusive) and c) physically intimidating at the very least.

    The passage "And since he could, if he so desired, beat me to a pulp, I'm not big on the idea of possibly pissing him off. I know he never would beat me up, but I've seen him put a guy in hospital before when he was in a bad mood and the guy annoyed him" is pretty worrying.
    I feel I made him out to be worse than he is. I said he could. Then again everybody could since I have no strength in any part of my body. It wasn't a "I'm scared of him" comment it was a "he's stronger than me" comment that came across as being a bad description of him.

    And he's probably only jealous here because it's his brother and they've got a big sibling rivalry thing going on, like a private inner war between them. He's not manipulative. He just got a bit insecure about the possibility of me being attracted to his brother, that doesn't make him emotionally manipulative. He's a great guy, it's just this one time he's been a bit of a dick, but I can't blame him for that.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    An apology is probably the single best way to diffuse a bad situation in a relationship. It isn't necessarily an admission of guilt; it's simply acknowledging that something went wrong, you're willing to work past it and that, even though you might think you didn't do anything wrong, the other person in the relationship was obviously hurt.

    Actually, OP could simply offer a non-apology. "I'm sorry you felt I was flirting with your brother."

    A "non-apology" is just an insult disguised as an apology: "I'm sorry you're a mess of insecurities and can't read basic social cues." I'm not saying you should apologize, but definitely don't pull this kind of bullshit, since it's just an escalation of what Karl's doing, which is picking a fight.

    Yeah, if you say it like a jack-ass then the non-apology can be an insult. However, used properly it's an acknowledgment that you may have possibly done something that the other party interpreted as hurtful while not actually admitting guilt. It's a great way to begin reconciliation talks after a fight.

    I think that, since being in a relationship means sharing your life with the other person, that ending a needless argument quickly and moving on trumps any personal pride or righteousness.

    Ayway, I'd cut a gay teenager a bit more relationship slack than a straight one, since I'd imagine being out, young and perhaps inexperienced in dating can become the trifecta of insecurity.

    Richard_Dastardly on
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    ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    I bet there is some history between him and his brother and another female; hence the insecurity.

    The non-apology is a good route to start the conversation and it's not demeaning because it's true. You ARE sorry he is being insecure and insane.
    You do know I'm a guy right? Or am I just misreading that and getting the wrong idea?

    I know he's being insecure and insane, I'll admit that because that is his nature. But I dunno how it'll sound to him. He'll either see it as a genuine apology which will make him think I was interested in his brother, which I'm not, or he'll see it as a demeaning piss-weak attempt to get back in his good books.

    oops...missed that.

    You know whats funny is I even double checked when I was reading the OP to make sure you were a female! hahaha...reading incomprehension ftmfl!
    Meh, don't worry about it. I get mistaken for a girl a lot. On the phone mostly. People always call me "miss", it's annoying.

    Plus I'll give you credit, you hear "boyfriend" people immediately assume the one talking about it is a girl.

    You give me too much credit I'm afraid. This is H/A so I specifically looked to make sure it wasn't a gay thread...like I said, I failed miserably. o_O

    Does the sibling rivalry involve going after each others SO? Or is the older brother straight?

    Shawnasee on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    I bet there is some history between him and his brother and another female; hence the insecurity.

    The non-apology is a good route to start the conversation and it's not demeaning because it's true. You ARE sorry he is being insecure and insane.
    You do know I'm a guy right? Or am I just misreading that and getting the wrong idea?

    I know he's being insecure and insane, I'll admit that because that is his nature. But I dunno how it'll sound to him. He'll either see it as a genuine apology which will make him think I was interested in his brother, which I'm not, or he'll see it as a demeaning piss-weak attempt to get back in his good books.

    oops...missed that.

    You know whats funny is I even double checked when I was reading the OP to make sure you were a female! hahaha...reading incomprehension ftmfl!
    Meh, don't worry about it. I get mistaken for a girl a lot. On the phone mostly. People always call me "miss", it's annoying.

    Plus I'll give you credit, you hear "boyfriend" people immediately assume the one talking about it is a girl.

    You give me too much credit I'm afraid. This is H/A so I specifically looked to make sure it wasn't a gay thread...like I said, I failed miserably. o_O

    Does the sibling rivalry involve going after each others SO? Or is the older brother straight?
    The older brother is straight, but Karl is bi, so they've been brought into conflict once or twice over this sort of issue. So even though I'm a guy as so not even a possibility of getting together with his brother Karl's natural insecurity about this sort of thing is still there.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Whether or not he's stronger than you should have absolutely no bearing on how you relate to your boyfriend. If it does, something's wrong.

    Six on
    can you feel the struggle within?
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Six wrote: »
    Whether or not he's stronger than you should have absolutely no bearing on how you relate to your boyfriend. If it does, something's wrong.
    It doesn't, I was just pointing it out. Merely an observation

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Six wrote: »
    Whether or not he's stronger than you should have absolutely no bearing on how you relate to your boyfriend. If it does, something's wrong.
    It doesn't, I was just pointing it out. Merely an observation

    No, you said you don't want to piss him off because he could beat you up.

    That's not a very healthy way of looking at things.

    Six on
    can you feel the struggle within?
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Six wrote: »
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Six wrote: »
    Whether or not he's stronger than you should have absolutely no bearing on how you relate to your boyfriend. If it does, something's wrong.
    It doesn't, I was just pointing it out. Merely an observation

    No, you said you don't want to piss him off because he could beat you up.

    That's not a very healthy way of looking at things.
    Note: "could" not "would" or "will". He could beat me up. That's just the way it is. He could but I doubt he ever would. I'm not gonna hold that as a negative because anybody could beat me up.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Six wrote: »
    Stevie2Sxc wrote: »
    Six wrote: »
    Whether or not he's stronger than you should have absolutely no bearing on how you relate to your boyfriend. If it does, something's wrong.
    It doesn't, I was just pointing it out. Merely an observation

    No, you said you don't want to piss him off because he could beat you up.

    That's not a very healthy way of looking at things.
    Note: "could" not "would" or "will". He could beat me up. That's just the way it is. He could but I doubt he ever would. I'm not gonna hold that as a negative because anybody could beat me up.

    Yes, I know what you said.

    The fact that this concerns you is a pretty big red flag. Why should it make a difference whether he could beat you up or not?

    Six on
    can you feel the struggle within?
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    mysticjuicermysticjuicer [he/him] I'm a muscle wizard and I cast P U N C HRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Yeah, if you say it like a jack-ass then the non-apology can be an insult. However, used properly it's an acknowledgment that you may have possibly done something that the other party interpreted as hurtful while not actually admitting guilt. It's a great way to begin reconciliation talks after a fight.

    It would drive me up the wall to have someone say, "I'm sorry you felt that way." It's like, if I accidentally break someone's lamp, and they get pissed at me, how is "I'm sorry you're mad about the lamp" going to make them feel? More pissed. I don't think it would be a good idea to apologize to Karl in this circumstance. I can understand those who think it is a good idea. But a non-apology would be the worst idea.
    I think that, since being in a relationship means sharing your life with the other person, that ending a needless argument quickly and moving on trumps any personal pride or righteousness.

    Ayway, I'd cut a gay teenager a bit more relationship slack than a straight one, since I'd imagine being out, young and perhaps inexperienced in dating can become the trifecta of insecurity.

    Some arguments need to be had. That said, this doesn't have to be framed as an argument. It shouldn't, in fact. Karl is insecure, and his insecurity is only going to hurt any kind of relationship he and Stevie have. If they are going to share their lives with eachother, they're going to have to actually talk this through and see if there's a way of resolving the issue to their mutual satisfaction. Apologizing and moving on will just guarantee that it keeps happening.

    Edit: I just wanted to clarify: I think that, "files his nails too loudly" or "likes watching gross out comedies" is something you can (and should) forgive in a relationship that's based on more than bangin' eachother. "Is insecure about my fidelity", not so much. That needs solving. That's only going to happen with honest, constructive communication.

    mysticjuicer on
    narwhal wrote:
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    Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    That's only going to happen with honest, constructive communication.

    That's only going to happen once OP acknowledges that his partner may have misinterpreted his body language. Honest dialogue doesn't begin with, "You're wrong, I'm not."

    OP: Where you actually looking at the dude's brother for what someone else might interpret as too long?

    Richard_Dastardly on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    That's only going to happen with honest, constructive communication.

    That's only going to happen once OP acknowledges that his partner may have misinterpreted his body language. Honest dialogue doesn't begin with, "You're wrong, I'm not."

    OP: Where you actually looking at the dude's brother for what someone else might interpret as too long?
    I looked at him for a while, but mostly cause he looked really similar to Karl. It felt like an episode of the Twilight Zone or something. I wasn't looking at him in the "hot damn he's gorgeous" way I look at Karl

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    What was the setting when you were staring at him? Were you guys all having a conversation? Were you watching a game on the tube? Playing video games?

    Shawnasee on
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    Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    What was the setting when you were staring at him? Were you guys all having a conversation? Were you watching a game on the tube? Playing video games?
    Me and Karl were watching Deadwood and Jake (that's the brother's name) just wandered in, said "hi" then just sat down to watch with us. Admittedly I shouldn't of kept glancing over at him so much, but I was just trying to get my head round the fact that the two looked ridiculously similar. They could have passed for identical twins, it was creepy.

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2009
    You probably should have said that at the time.

    Unknown User on
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    RazielRaziel Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    PaperPritt wrote: »

    ehhh? what's this ? why would there be an apology for ? the boyfriend is acting like a complete idiot. Also if you start apologizing everytime he gets angry at something... worse, everytime he gets angry at something that doesn't even exist in the first place...well..uh.. i fear for the future of your relationship.

    Let him cool off sure. apologize for something you didn't do ? fuck no.

    No, dude, apologize for pissing Karl off. I know it sounds weak and submissive, but honestly, a simple "I'm sorry, dude" is step one to being the bigger man, and reconciling the situation. As in "I'm sorry we were fighting." It was pride that got them into this mess, and the last thing Steve needs to do is add to that.

    Look, guys will get jealous. We're wired for it. Even if you barely made eye contact with Karl's brother, if your beau was feeling insecure that day it wouldn't take much to get him worrying. But in future, try to control your boy-starved impulses. This 17 year old sex drive of yours is going to get you into more and more trouble, bud.

    Raziel on
    Read the mad blog-rantings of a manic hack writer here.

    Thank you, Rubacava!
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    Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    He might've overreacted. I dunno. But, given that scenario it's understandable that you looking at his brother in that particular situation might upset him, given that he isn't a telepath and wasn't privy to your thought process at the time.

    Richard_Dastardly on
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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I've never been a fan of apologizing if you haven't done anything wrong. It dulls when you really are sorry about something. Don't use it just to appease someone and diffuse a situation without resolving the actual issue.

    Non-apologies are just a dick thing to do, because it's a condescending way to cast blame. Ask him why he doesn't believe you when you say you have no interest in his brother and work from there.

    Javen on
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    ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    robothero wrote: »
    You probably should have said that at the time.

    This my young friend, this.

    Hindsight and all that...

    Shawnasee on
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