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Quitting my job, maybe
Lavi
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hello, I posted here before and received some generally great advice.
Basically, I want to quit my job but I feel like a complete asshole if I do so.
Let me explain. Before I had a great job, it was a typical Mon-Fri, 9-5, day time, relatively easy, great supervisors and co-workers, weekends off, etc. The pay was minimum wage but I didn't care, I loved it. I'm a student and it was a temporary position so once it ended I had been hired on as a permanent but due to budget problems they had to let me go. I didn't really care and was fine with it.
But because I now have a girlfriend and some pressure from her and to an extent her family, I looked for another job and luckily I got it. Unfortunately it is not a job I wanted in the first place. It's basically a graveyard shift, Sun-Thurs, 10pm-7am, shitty supervisor, crappy co-workers, and it is an hour and half drive away from where I live.
The problem is that it is messing up my summer classes I'm taking. I've basically fallen behind in school work because I cannot get used to the work hours even though I've been here for a month. I really need to finish these classes so I can transfer out. Although not relevant, when my father passed, I basically took it out on my school work by taking two years off and falling behind, so I really want to "catch up" now.
I want to quit so bad and it's not that I come from a rich family. Far from it, we're not even middle class, but because my mom likes to say our family is from a long line of budget masters I get by quite nicely even with a girlfriend. I think I'm mostly blessed that I do not have to pay rent and my bills are mostly from personal expenses, except I also pay the cable, internet and telephone bill.
Basically I'm getting two different opinions on the subject.
The first one is my grandfather and his legacy he left on my entire family which is a weird philosophy in life, I think. For example, one of his more famous "sayings" was, "let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles", "so what if we don't have water, lets just wait for it to rain", "shit I was born naked, what I have on now is a gain". So everyone on my family is telling me to just quit if I don't like the job, something else will come along and I shouldn't worry about it because its bound to rain sooner or later.
The second one is from my girlfriend and her family. Basically they're telling me I should stick to it, that I should be thankful I even have a job in the first place when so many people do not have jobs. That I need to just work harder to accomplish my goals in life and not be a bum. She told me at least to not quit until I have another job lined up and not to count on my brother. She also doesn't want me to form a habit of "quitting" again since I told her I took a break from school for a while.
On one hand I want to go to work today and when I finish my shift flip off my supervisor, tell him I quit and I'll be back for my last check next week. But on the other hand, I want to go to work today, finish my shift and tell my supervisor I'll see him later that day.
I don't really know why I'm asking anonymous strangers for advice, but maybe different perspectives will help me see something I'm missing. Or at least give provide that happy middle-ground 3rd perspective I need.
Basically, I want to quit my job but I feel like a complete asshole if I do so.
Let me explain. Before I had a great job, it was a typical Mon-Fri, 9-5, day time, relatively easy, great supervisors and co-workers, weekends off, etc. The pay was minimum wage but I didn't care, I loved it. I'm a student and it was a temporary position so once it ended I had been hired on as a permanent but due to budget problems they had to let me go. I didn't really care and was fine with it.
But because I now have a girlfriend and some pressure from her and to an extent her family, I looked for another job and luckily I got it. Unfortunately it is not a job I wanted in the first place. It's basically a graveyard shift, Sun-Thurs, 10pm-7am, shitty supervisor, crappy co-workers, and it is an hour and half drive away from where I live.
The problem is that it is messing up my summer classes I'm taking. I've basically fallen behind in school work because I cannot get used to the work hours even though I've been here for a month. I really need to finish these classes so I can transfer out. Although not relevant, when my father passed, I basically took it out on my school work by taking two years off and falling behind, so I really want to "catch up" now.
I want to quit so bad and it's not that I come from a rich family. Far from it, we're not even middle class, but because my mom likes to say our family is from a long line of budget masters I get by quite nicely even with a girlfriend. I think I'm mostly blessed that I do not have to pay rent and my bills are mostly from personal expenses, except I also pay the cable, internet and telephone bill.
Basically I'm getting two different opinions on the subject.
The first one is my grandfather and his legacy he left on my entire family which is a weird philosophy in life, I think. For example, one of his more famous "sayings" was, "let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles", "so what if we don't have water, lets just wait for it to rain", "shit I was born naked, what I have on now is a gain". So everyone on my family is telling me to just quit if I don't like the job, something else will come along and I shouldn't worry about it because its bound to rain sooner or later.
The second one is from my girlfriend and her family. Basically they're telling me I should stick to it, that I should be thankful I even have a job in the first place when so many people do not have jobs. That I need to just work harder to accomplish my goals in life and not be a bum. She told me at least to not quit until I have another job lined up and not to count on my brother. She also doesn't want me to form a habit of "quitting" again since I told her I took a break from school for a while.
On one hand I want to go to work today and when I finish my shift flip off my supervisor, tell him I quit and I'll be back for my last check next week. But on the other hand, I want to go to work today, finish my shift and tell my supervisor I'll see him later that day.
I don't really know why I'm asking anonymous strangers for advice, but maybe different perspectives will help me see something I'm missing. Or at least give provide that happy middle-ground 3rd perspective I need.
Lavi on
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Do whatever you've gotta do to be happy. Obviously I don't mean happy just for the moment, I mean being happy with plans/thoughts for the future. If you think you'll get another job, then quit. If you're worried you won't be able to, then don't. You ought to know what's best for you. You know your plans and backup plans. I'm sure you don't need a pro/con list because you already know it. Just make a decision and stick to it.
None of the above is permanent. Things can change, and they often do. My advice is to stick it out with this job while you look for something else. Obviously, you should not stay in an environment you hate, but don't quit just because you don't like it and it's inconvenient.
I agree with your girlfriend in that you don't want to get into a habit of turning tail whenever you don't like something. There seems to be no harm in working at this place while you secure something better for yourself.
Think of it this way: you can quit right now and never go back to this place again. If it took you an entire month to find a job and for the pay to start rolling in (that's a pretty generous estimate), how would you feel? That's an entire month with no pay, doing basically nothing during that time, and quite possibly sinking into a rut.
Your family seems to be a bit too laid back at the moment, and I don't think it's entirely a good idea to just shrug your shoulders and assume everything will turn out okay. At the very least, find a slightly-less-shitty job while you look for something better, but don't quit with nothing lined up.
You never know what is going to happen.
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You may of course be more polite about it depending on how much you like them.
If you can afford to quit, I say do it. Your school is an investment and should be a priority.
To be honest, as far as I'm concerned, unless you guys are engaged, her family doesn't get to have a say in any of your personal affairs. They can go to hell, and they sound like meddling fuckers to me. She gets some influence, but not them.
It's probably easier if we play the Worst Case Hypothetical game. This usually sounds flippant, but I find it can help sometimes.
If you keep the job, the Worst Case Scenario is that you fail your summer classes, and when you're working a full-time job with a 3 hour round-trip commute, that is pretty likely, let alone the fact it's a night gig. If you fail your classes, you're either going to have to enroll for another semester, which is a huge chunk of change, or you just flunk out of school and have no degree, and all you have to show for it is a job you hate. A job with no career prospects.
If you ditch the job, the Worst Case Scenario is you have less disposable income. This job isn't paying towards your schooling, as that doesn't pay enough. You didn't say you needed it to survive, so I'm assuming it's disposable. So you forego eating out, some new video games, whatever you spend it on. You get to finish school and hopefully get a decent job.
I don't see how anything makes sense but to ditch the job. If it was you not wanting to do it, but it had no effect on other, more important things, that's one thing. But if it's helping you fuck up school, and let me remind you, doing a full-time job at the same time as tertiary education is brutally hard already, (and I would recommend no-one actually does that), it's a no brainer.
Well it is none of their business, they are partially right.
The OP's family seems to be shrugging their shoulders and telling their son to do whatever he feels like. It may make him happy today, but in the long run he's going to find himself in a shitty financial situation, and where will his grandfather's witty sayings get him then?
I get the feeling that there's more to the OP's feelings towards his family than he's saying, and doesn't want to trust them. I expect they have not made an attempt to better themselves in their lives, and the OP is worried about becoming like them.
This is a healthy thing, and a good reason to have drive to become a successful person!
But the road to success is a good education, not working a night shift.
I can't imagine the OP's girlfriend having a problem with him quitting a graveyard-shift job if he truly doesn't need the money at all. She probably sees how his family lives and wants him to have a better life.
I can relate to that feeling, and if you can manage a job and your education at the same time, then all the power to you. It's great the come out of school with an education and as little debt as possible.
Even working throughout post-secondary, I graduated with quite a heavy debt-load because my family was in no position to help.
I think this bit is important:
because it suggests the OP's brother is paying for something. Will this last? I'm thinking the girlfriend is trying to keep her boyfriend better safe than sorry.
The funny thing about this line of thinking is its fairly short term itself. School takes maybe 5-6 years if you don't take a full course load. Then, unless you're unmotivated or unlucky or a little of both, you have built yourself a better foundation for the rest of your life.
but they're listening to every word I say
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Prioritize school. Edumacation is the most important thing you can have, and it WILL significantly increase your job prospects down the line.
Furthermore, don't let your GF's family dictate to you what you do; resentment will arise, and that's not a good thing. Put it to them reasonably, though- you're quitting your job which TAKES 3 FUCKING HOURS OUT OF YOUR DAY TRAVEL TIME THAT COULD BE SPENT STUDYING. If you stay in the job, from what you're saying, your life will continue to feel miserable, and your studies will go down the toilet.
If you can manage without the job, then quit it- to me it seems that your entire internal conflict is coming from worrying about a hypothetical situation, and also worrying about whether your GF and her family will think you're some kind of dropout bum.
On the other hand, if you subsequently try to drop out of your studies as well, so help me i will organise the forumers here to form an angry mob with me, and we'll beat you like a redheaded stepchild.
Get that education! Best of luck!
2. If you want a different job with normal hours, start looking for one ASAP.
3. The worst thing that could happen is that you fail your classes. Paying money for school and getting nothing to show for it is a bad deal. So make sure you do what you need to do to get your work done and pass your classes. If that means taking fewer hours at work, so be it.
Where do you live?
The first one is my grandfather and his legacy he left on my entire family which is a weird philosophy in life, I think. For example, one of his more famous "sayings" was, "let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles", "so what if we don't have water, lets just wait for it to rain", "shit I was born naked, what I have on now is a gain". So everyone on my family is telling me to just quit if I don't like the job, something else will come along and I shouldn't worry about it because its bound to rain sooner or later.
I don't see how your Grandfather's sayings imply you should quit the job at all. Don't these mean roughly "whatever cards life deals you, take and be grateful"?
It seems to me like the real ~best~ solution is for you to buckle down, do the job, and do your schoolwork. Things may be tough, but there is no real reason you can't do both unless there is a specific schedule problem (I.E. your job prevents you from going to class, rather than you don't go to class because you are tired or want to do something else in between).
I think your girlfriend and co have it right. Sure, like a lot of folk say in here, it's none of her business or whatever, but it dosen't sound to me like she is trying to control you, only to ensure you don't get stuck on a habit of quitting when times are rough. You may not get another job, and is it fair to your brother to place your burden on his shoulders when you can carry your own weight?
"let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles"
You cut the power on yourself with your decisions. Light some candles, and study by candlelight. You can do both if you try. If you don't like your job, at least get another, better scheduled one or talk with your shift supervisor and see if something can be arranged. Things will be rough for a time, but at least you will be standing on your own two feet.
I say if you can pay your bills for up to 4 months w/o a job, and this one is making classes harder, then quit. Non-skilled jobs are always around. downturns in the economy don't really affect McJobs, their turnover is always going to be there and you'll be able to find something, IF YOU REALLY LOOK. Just know that it probably won't pay well or be as sweet as that temp job you had.
Yeah my oldest brother is a fuck up. Everyone continuously bails him out of every situation he has and to an extent my other sister and brother. I do hold a bit of resentment towards my siblings in general, lets just say I hate being the youngest.
I don't really want to get into everything because I've been told the job ends at the end of July so I think I'm going to "rough it out" for 4 weeks or attempt to. I'm going to look for a job with better hours at least in the meanwhile even if its only several hours a week.
I do have $7k saved up (I've worked since I could work) so that was never really an issue for the time being.
Also just to clear it up, I never meant to imply my girlfriend was being controlling. I know she cares about me and simply didn't want me to fall into a rut of quitting. One of her close friends quits at everything she does and it really gets to her.
Finally, I can't ask for better hours, I've talked to my shift supervisor and in a few words he simply stated that I should quit if I didn't like it.
You have a cushion, so you can afford to stop working at the first place for a while... but 1) you don't want to piss away that money, and 2) it will go faster than you think.
On the other hand, don't rule it out as an option. UIB is not like public assistance, it is an insurance that you and your employer pay directly into, for your use, and is not "needs based" as public assistance is. The amount you are eligible for is based on your gross earnings over the last 5 quarters, and if you don't take advantage of the money that's there, it's lost to you (for example if you lost your job, and out of spite didn't file uib for a year and a half, then went and filed for it they would say "too bad/so sad" despite having accrued 50 quallifying quarters in your life.)
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If you're living with your mom still, you have money saved, and you only have 1 or 2 abbreviated semesters left before you transfer, then most definitely quit and deal with the school stuff first. I've seen far too many of my friends drop out of school to work their shitty dead-end jobs forever (one at Burger King, one at Wendy's, one at Walmart). It seems to me if you fall behind in school quite drastically, or even have to take a semester off, it will totally fuck someone. Once people drop school, they tend to drop it for years, if not forever.