Cover Letter - Proof read

Figgy

I'm putting together an application package for an internship program at a daily newspaper, and I was hoping a few of you folks could look over my cover letter and point out any bullshit I might squeezed in there. I've written a metric fuckload of these things, and I fear I am falling into a rut of writing the same cliched crap over and over.

[FONT=&quot]Dear Mr. XXXXXXXX:[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I am writing with regards to the one-year internship with the XXXXXXX. Please find enclosed my resume, detailing my experience, education, and background. I have also included eight clippings which demonstrate my reporting and writing abilities. This has been provided in triplicate.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I have six years experience in the journalism field, working for various print and online publications. Most recently, I am working as a part-time intern at the XXXXXXXX in [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Hamilton[/FONT][FONT=&quot], [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Ontario[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. This position has allowed me to work in a professional news room, covering important local issues in the Hamilton and Halton regions. I also served as the managing editor for XXXXXXX newspaper at [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Mohawk[/FONT][FONT=&quot]College[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. Leading a team of writers and editors, I successfully produced an award winning publication and acquired valuable people skills, leadership, interviewing, and multi-tasking skills.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]In April, I graduated with an Advanced Diploma in Print and Broadcast Journalism. Before Mohawk, I attended the [/FONT][FONT=&quot]University[/FONT][FONT=&quot] of [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Western Ontario[/FONT][FONT=&quot] and earned my Honours Bachelor of Arts in English and Visual Arts. I also completed specified writing courses to obtain the Certificate in Writing from the university. Upon graduation, I received several awards from both institutions, including the Andy Award from [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Mohawk[/FONT][FONT=&quot]College[/FONT][FONT=&quot] and the University Gold Medal from Western. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I believe that both my education and experience make me well suited for an internship at the XXXXXX. I find writing for news a challenging and rewarding endeavour, and my background has prepared me for the high-pressure environment and tight deadlines involved. I would appreciate an opportunity to meet with you in person to discuss this position further. I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Thank you for your time and consideration.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]Sincerely,[/FONT]




[FONT=&quot]XXXXXXXXX[/FONT]

Esh

Stop saying "I" so much.

Figgy

Esh wrote: »

Stop saying "I" so much.

How do I get around that while still highlighting what I need to?

Shazkar Shadowstorm

i wouldn't just state the things that they can probably see in your resume anyway without saying maybe how it applies to this position specifically

might wanna toss in why this paper specifically / this internship specifically appeals to you

Sentry

Shazkar Shadowstorm wrote: »

i wouldn't just state the things that they can probably see in your resume anyway without saying maybe how it applies to this position specifically

might wanna toss in why this paper specifically / this internship specifically appeals to you

Yeah, this. The cover letter is not just restating your resume. Say why the internship appeals to you, but more importantly, what you can do for them.

Esh

Figgy wrote: »

Esh wrote: »

Stop saying "I" so much.

How do I get around that while still highlighting what I need to?

It's a pain, but you can do it. You can use "I", just don't start every sentence with it. Maneuver it into the middle somehow.

EDIT: And yeah, what they said. You've basically just restated your resume. Tailor the letter to this specific job. Let them know why you want it and what you can do for them.

Figgy

I am writing with regards to the one-year internship with the XXXXXX. Please find enclosed my resume, detailing my experience, education, and background. I have also included eight clippings which demonstrate my reporting and writing abilities. This has been provided in triplicate.

With six years experience in the journalism field, I have worked for various print and online publications. Most recently as an intern at the XXXXXXXX in Hamilton, Ontario, I have covered important issues in the Hamilton and Halton regions. As an intern at the XXXXXXX, I will transfer this experience to develop my abilities as a journalist in a much larger city.

My experience as managing editor for XXXXXXXX newspaper at Mohawk College has provided me with the people skills essential to excel as a journalist. At the XXXXXXXX, this will be invaluable in interviewing sources as well as working as a team with my co-workers.

Both my education and experience make me well suited for an internship at the XXXXXX. Writing for news is a challenging and rewarding endeavour, and my background has prepared me for the high-pressure environment and tight deadlines involved. I would appreciate an opportunity to meet with you in person to discuss this position further, and I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time.

Is this better?

rfalias

That reads much better.

Just glancing over them, as many interviewers do, the latter is leaps and bounds better.

Figgy

Great. Thanks for the help guys!

Deebaser

Figgy wrote: »

I am writing with regards to the one-year internship with the XXXXXX. Please find enclosed my resume, detailing my experience, education, and background. I have also included eight clippings which demonstrate my reporting and writing abilities. This has been provided in triplicate.

With six years experience in the journalism field, I have worked for various print and online publications. Most recently as an intern at the XXXXXXXX in Hamilton, Ontario, I have covered important issues in the Hamilton and Halton regions. As an intern at the XXXXXXX, I will transfer this experience to develop my abilities as a journalist in a much larger city.

My experience as managing editor for XXXXXXXX newspaper at Mohawk College has provided me with the people skills essential to excel as a journalist. At the XXXXXXXX, this will be invaluable in interviewing sources as well as working as a team with my co-workers.

Both my education and experience make me well suited for an internship at the XXXXXX. Writing for news is a challenging and rewarding endeavour, and my background has prepared me for the high-pressure environment and tight deadlines involved. I would appreciate an opportunity to meet with you in person to discuss this position further, and I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time.

Is this better?

The first one was good. This is much better.

oldsak

With six years experience in the journalism field, I have worked for various print and online publications.

This sentence needs work. It doesn't quite make sense.

Maybe,

"As a six year veteran of the journalism field, I have worked for various print and online publications."

or

"Over my six year career in journalism, I have worked for various print and online publications."