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Girlfriend looks/stares
DoopHQ
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I need help/advice.
When I'm alone with my girlfriend, watching TV or having some alone time, she sometimes looks/stares into my eyes and says nothing. Most of the time I just look back at her and smile. I'm getting the impression that I should be saying something. Or maybe she's curious about what I'm thinking about because she always ask most of the time. So my questions are:
What should I be saying back to her when she looks deeply into my eyes?
Do most women ask what their boyfriend/husbands are thinking about?
When I'm alone with my girlfriend, watching TV or having some alone time, she sometimes looks/stares into my eyes and says nothing. Most of the time I just look back at her and smile. I'm getting the impression that I should be saying something. Or maybe she's curious about what I'm thinking about because she always ask most of the time. So my questions are:
What should I be saying back to her when she looks deeply into my eyes?
Do most women ask what their boyfriend/husbands are thinking about?
DoopHQ on
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Typically when this happens between my wife and I the other person says "what" and that gets some conversation going. If she's doing something that prompts you to consider yourself, you shouldn't assume she means anything by it. What you're free to do is to question it and bring it up. If she's making some gesture (whether it's staring or hinting or whatever), you should feel comfortable just saying "what, what are you doing" or "why are you doing that" and make her speak up. Most likely it's nothing, or just something sweet & meaningless, so you shouldn't dwell.
And you should afford the same comfort to her. If you catch yourself staring or pausing for a weird reason, you'll likely realize that it's because your own brain is working, and you should speak up if she notices you and gives you a funny look ;D
Be prepared for her to ask a question where the answer seems completely simple and innocuous, but requires further, seemingly senseless discussion in her opinion.
Again, semantics and all, I'm just sayin'.
...
She's taking long loving looks into your eyes. I'm guessing with this and the "do girlfriends/wives ask what you're thinking" question that you're fairly new to relationships. :P
Yes, they do this often. Usually they want to ask you something, as Eggy/Honky said, but sometimes she just wants to look and be happy.
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If you two are 16 or so, then she probably really likes you and wants you to be spending more time with her or paying attention to her. If you guys are a bit older, and your relationship has calmed down a bit, then she probably has something on her mind but doesn't know how to bring it up.
I just say "I love you too".
This should prompt her to be more comfortable asking the question she has rolling around in her head or, as the Falcon alluded to, she'll be glad that you haven't cottoned on that her staring isn't looks of adoring love but mental measuring of how far your skin will stretch out when she peels it from your body.
Good luck bro!
/highfive!
/overherhead
Or it may be that she's sick of sitting between you and Chanus.
But seriously, just say "hi" or any other of the many suggestions.
but they're listening to every word I say
Probably.
A girl I dated used to do that all the time, especially when watching movies or tv, or maybe reading a book, and it drove me up the wall, making it impossible to really become engrossed in anything. She never wanted anything other than for me to look at her. Seriously. I would finally look at her, she would smile, maybe say "I love you" and that was it and she would look away, but there was never any context, and it was always horrible timing, right when I would just be getting into something and she would have to go and pull me out of it.
She wasn't really saying "I love you", you see. She only said those particular words because she knew she was annoying the hell out of me and she knew I'd feel like a dick if I expressed annoyance at her looking at me and telling me she loves me. But what she was really saying was this:
"I need to know that, no matter how interested or engrossed you are in something else, I am able to command your attention at any given moment, even for no reason other than comforting my fragile self esteem and/or to exercise my control over you because you are my plaything and solely exist to fulfill my needs and to amuse me. I resent the fact that something else has captured your attention, even for a moment, and I feel the compulsion to remind you that I am your priority and all of your attention belongs to me. If you pay attention to anything else, it is only because I have allowed it. Now, go on, continue watching your cute little movie or whatever meaningless trifle it is that you're paying attention to, just remember that I own you and will command you as I see fit."
So.... yeah... thanks for the therapy, that felt good to get out...
Good luck with your situation, hopefully the optimists are right on this one.
I wonder if I can sig this?
edit: Damn you 500 characters! Damn you!
Smile, look her in the eyes and maybe kiss. Sounds like she is just enjoying your company.
Personally, I often ask my SO what he's thinking. Never got an answer yet, but I don't mind! It's a girl thing :-)
Look on the bright side.
You were smart enough to make her an ex-girlfriend.
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
It's usually over food. We've established that when you're chewing across the table from someone, typically you end up looking at them but are unable to say anything because, uh, you're eating. But it still happens at other times too. You can also get away with simply smiling when you make eye contact, which says "hello I see that you are staring at me but I don't think you're a creeper"
"...yet"
My wife stares at me or looks into my eyes and says nothing. I ask, "What?" she says, "Can't I just look at you?"
I am dead sexy.
Personally, I think he was reading just a liiiiitle bit too much into a sweet glance. What, he'd prefer she scowled at him or ignored him? If so, I suspect there are a lot of women out there who'd make him a happy gentleman, and best of all, a lot of them are single!
She obviously wants you to initiate things with her sexually.
TV/Show time is just a filler for spending time with each other. She's attempting to subcommunicate, through body language, that she's DTF. It's up to you to escalate things from there.
She's just having a perv, in a dumbly unsubtle way. Welcome to how a lot of women regularly feel in public! Feel free to deal with it as such (throwing pillows and the previously mentioned finger-in-ear trick for the win; the deathglare/nutpuch combo one applies on the train probably won't get you cuddles).
2. I don't know if most women ask their boyfriends what they're thinking but I know I tend to. I always want to know the answer of course, but there is usually one of two other motivations involved. The first is that it's too quiet and I can't think of anything else to say so I say the only think I can think of that might start a conversation because I am occasionally uncreative. Other times I've got something on my mind that I want to say but feel stupid about so I'm hoping that after he answers my question, he asks the same back. Somehow it's not as hard to say what I'm thinking if I've been asked. If she's asking the question often, the second one might be your answer.
In this case, and I say this for all women, please find a hobby. We like quiet time.
(Yes, I mean this in jest... but yes, I'm serious =P)
Honestly, you're going to have to ask your girlfriend why she stares, cause it could be out of attention (which she is unlikely to admit), or it could be because she's thinking about something completely unrelated to you, or it could be because she thinks you looks good and she's admiring certain physical things about you.
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Bah. Get a lurking den or video game lair if you want alone time. Women still can't read minds!
I dunno... I can sit in a room with guy friends for hours without saying a single word, and no one seems to mind.
The truth is, you gals can read minds, we just aren't actually thinking anything most of the time.
Seconded, for serial.
If more women understood that "being together" does not mean "spending every waking moment possible together" I suspect there would be more happy couples.
My husband still looks at me though... my problem isn't with him looking, but rather with his timing. He tends to look at me in the car. While he's driving. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, sometimes I really wish he was a bit more focused on the road. :?
If you think about it, it's really a flattering gesture I guess.
a non emotional stare could be a bit awkward but, my automatic reaction would be to either smile or say something.