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Sam Raimi to direct World of Warcraft movie

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    LibrarianLibrarian The face of liberal fascism Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    xena.jpg

    I want Bruce Campbell to play all male characters and Lucy Lawless for all the female ones.

    Librarian on
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    mrflippymrflippy Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Qingu wrote: »
    2. I absolutely do think that people should avoid writing about graceful elven archers and stocky gruff miner dwarves. Think of something original, Christopher fucking Paoilini! That said, I am perfectly okay with satirical or at least silly takes on these tropes ... which is what I assumed Warcraft was doing from my limited experience with the series.
    The thing is that WoW uses only the common surface characteristics of the races -- elves are long-lived graceful tree-dwelling archers, and dwarves are short stocky cave-dwelling miners, but after that, they have their own histories.

    Maybe it's lazy, but it's also efficient design -- people instantly identify with elves and dwarves. To some degree, you don't always want to reinvent the wheel.

    WoW also has humans as the middle-of-the-road spunky-short-lived-but-makes-up-for-it-with-their-indomitable-spirit race too. Again, people expect humans to be the baseline "default" race in games like this. (And it does make some sense to put the familiar in this role)

    mrflippy on
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    L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    L|ama wrote: »
    Lynx wrote: »
    If this was based on pre-WoW Warcraft, then I could get behind it.

    WoW, with its stripper elves, neutered orcs, and freakish gnomes? No thanks.

    Spider-Man 3 didn't exactly thrill me either.

    Stripper elves? Are you sure you're not confusing the lore with what players do when they're bored? And I don't even know what you're talking about with "Freakish Gnomes".

    As for neutered Orcs, I guess that's just a difference of opinion. I prefer the Orcs as they are now, rather than the mindless "Horde" they used to be.

    A midget girl with pink pigtails shanking you is pretty freaky, in my opinion.

    I'm not questioning your opinions, as they are perfectly valid--however, I think pretty much every single MMORPG ever made, and say, at least three-fourths of popular video games, may bother you for similar reasons.

    Yeah, but they are mostly Japanese, and Japan already freaks me out for many other reasons.

    L|ama on
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    SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    L|ama wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    L|ama wrote: »
    Lynx wrote: »
    If this was based on pre-WoW Warcraft, then I could get behind it.

    WoW, with its stripper elves, neutered orcs, and freakish gnomes? No thanks.

    Spider-Man 3 didn't exactly thrill me either.

    Stripper elves? Are you sure you're not confusing the lore with what players do when they're bored? And I don't even know what you're talking about with "Freakish Gnomes".

    As for neutered Orcs, I guess that's just a difference of opinion. I prefer the Orcs as they are now, rather than the mindless "Horde" they used to be.

    A midget girl with pink pigtails shanking you is pretty freaky, in my opinion.

    I'm not questioning your opinions, as they are perfectly valid--however, I think pretty much every single MMORPG ever made, and say, at least three-fourths of popular video games, may bother you for similar reasons.

    Yeah, but they are mostly Japanese, and Japan already freaks me out for many other reasons.

    'Mostly' Japanese still means plenty of American MMORPGs with stripper elves and other creepy things. And T&A is easily a staple of American fantasy games going back to the days of Ultima. Besides, formulating one's determined image of a national culture of a hundred+ million people based on exported media may not be a good idea always. If I had done that, Carmageddon and Harry Potter would have been more than sufficient to keep me from emigrating to the United States. Then again, I am still afraid of Americans...at least a little...

    But that is neither here nor there! After forcing myself to watch the Lord of the Rings films on TV, I am not entirely convinced that comedic dwarven archeologists, gnomes with submarines, and stripper elves (okay, that last one is not unique to Warcraft) will be inherently any worse the hilariously [strike]homoerotic[/strike] folksy hobbits or angry, exclusively-white humans with not-quite-English accents. Obviously, the writing will not be the same quality, necessary, but given I found that aspect tremendously boring, I don't think Warcraft is too far behind all the rest of the over-rehearsed fantasy trash. The writing could still totally suck, but that's true for anything.

    Though seriously, why is everyone in those films white? Except, I guess, the orcs, but I think they're made of refined minerals. Why is that? Is all of Middle-Earth contained in a particularly white part of Denmark? Even Warcraft has different humans, elves and dwarves that are something other than lily white. I am actually curious if this is ever addressed in the considerable amount of material that accompanied the original novels....

    Synthesis on
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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    There's darkies in LOTR.

    Said darkies are evil and under Sauron's command.

    shryke on
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    SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    shryke wrote: »
    There's darkies in LOTR.

    Said darkies are evil and under Sauron's command.

    Yeah, the orc like things. Honestly, I'm not completely sure what they are, beyond the fact that they seemed to crawl out of a giant pot of cooked topsoil slurry. "Darkies" is as accurate a term as any for them.

    Synthesis on
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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    shryke wrote: »
    There's darkies in LOTR.

    Said darkies are evil and under Sauron's command.

    Yeah, the orc like things. Honestly, I'm not completely sure what they are, beyond the fact that they seemed to crawl out of a giant pot of cooked topsoil slurry. "Darkies" is as accurate a term as any for them.

    No, I mean there's honest to god humans with darker-then-white skin.

    You see some of them in the movies (TTT specifically) riding the giant elephant-things right before Faramir captures Frodo and Sam.

    They are dark skinned and they are under Sauron's command.

    shryke on
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    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I hope Bruce Campbell plays the Lich King.





    Not really.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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    DemiurgeDemiurge Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I think Bruce Campbell could pull off a convincing Edwin Vancleef.

    Demiurge on
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    -SPI--SPI- Osaka, JapanRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    shryke wrote: »
    There's darkies in LOTR.

    Said darkies are evil and under Sauron's command.

    Yeah, the orc like things. Honestly, I'm not completely sure what they are, beyond the fact that they seemed to crawl out of a giant pot of cooked topsoil slurry. "Darkies" is as accurate a term as any for them.

    No, not the uruk hai. The easterlings and haradrim.

    -SPI- on
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    SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    shryke wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    shryke wrote: »
    There's darkies in LOTR.

    Said darkies are evil and under Sauron's command.

    Yeah, the orc like things. Honestly, I'm not completely sure what they are, beyond the fact that they seemed to crawl out of a giant pot of cooked topsoil slurry. "Darkies" is as accurate a term as any for them.

    No, I mean there's honest to god humans with darker-then-white skin.

    You see some of them in the movies (TTT specifically) riding the giant elephant-things right before Faramir captures Frodo and Sam.

    They are dark skinned and they are under Sauron's command.

    ...I remember some guys riding giant elephants, but I could have sworn they were wearing armor.

    You know, dark armor.

    The shape of their heads and faces. o_O

    Synthesis on
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    Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    -SPI- wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    shryke wrote: »
    There's darkies in LOTR.

    Said darkies are evil and under Sauron's command.

    Yeah, the orc like things. Honestly, I'm not completely sure what they are, beyond the fact that they seemed to crawl out of a giant pot of cooked topsoil slurry. "Darkies" is as accurate a term as any for them.

    No, not the uruk hai. The easterlings and haradrim.

    IIRC, they come from "The South" or something like that, and given that middle-Earth is somewhat like Europe, I've always though Tolkien was essentially saying they're Africans.

    Nova_C on
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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    They also come from the East.

    There's Harad and Rhun and Umbar and such. Everything east and south.

    shryke on
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    HamHamJHamHamJ Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    You know what's really hilarious? Dunedain (ie Gondorians) and the Middle Peoples (ie Rohirim) both get +1 to two stats, while Men of Darkness (ie black people) get +1 Nimbleness, +1 Strength, -1 Wits.

    On the other hand, the Wild Men get +1 to three stats and skill bonuses.

    HamHamJ on
    While racing light mechs, your Urbanmech comes in second place, but only because it ran out of ammo.
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    TheBogTheBog Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Don't know if it's been brought up yet, but there needs to be a depiction or Barrens Chat somewhere in there. Like.. a couple of guys are riding by on horses and they see some dudes arguing and bickering and picking on someone and getting drunk. And then they pass a sign that says "The Barrens" and just keep going.

    TheBog on
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Non-racist Human Multicultural fantasy isn't an especially large part of pop culture, unfortunately. When it's present, it's often forced. A lot of this is because people tend to keep cramming fantasy into the mythical middle ages of Europe.

    Incenjucar on
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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Well, Tolkien was also trying to build a mythology for England, so naturally the white people from the North-West of the world are the good guys.

    shryke on
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    JJJJ DailyStormer Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Bruce Campbell for VanCleef.

    JJ on
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    SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Non-racist Human Multicultural fantasy isn't an especially large part of pop culture, unfortunately. When it's present, it's often forced. A lot of this is because people tend to keep cramming fantasy into the mythical middle ages of Europe.

    Middle Earth is the new Normandy.

    Synthesis on
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    Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    TheBog wrote: »
    Don't know if it's been brought up yet, but there needs to be a depiction or Barrens Chat somewhere in there. Like.. a couple of guys are riding by on horses and they see some dudes arguing and bickering and picking on someone and getting drunk. And then they pass a sign that says "The Barrens" and just keep going.

    It wouldn't be authentic unless they were talking about Chuck Norris and how Obama is a socialist.

    EDIT: Ugh, terrible top post.

    So I'll put in some speculation

    1. The movie will be about an event in the warcraft history (not an upcoming event) not yet directly covered by a game or book.
    2. It'll have to involve at least the Orcs and Humans, and probably the dwarves and some flavor of elves and trolls. (If it weren't for hte Orcs, I'd suggest the movie would be about hte first alliance between Humans and Elves that beat back the Amani Trolls and eventually made humanity go from tribal race to the Arathi Empire)
    3. The only exception to this is MAYBE the first Warcraft game; as it's flow has been retconned a zillion times and it's no longer available for purchase.

    My guess, in order to provide for the maximum number of race exposure, it'll be something stupid that takes place in the four years inbetween War3 and WoW.. probably the escalation of conflict that leads to "war" between the alliance and horde after Proodmoore tears up the Horde (War3 expansion) and the Night Elves get all pissed off about the Orcs tearing up Warsong Gulch. (Cycle of Hatred novel.)

    Undead Scottsman on
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    SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    TheBog wrote: »
    Don't know if it's been brought up yet, but there needs to be a depiction or Barrens Chat somewhere in there. Like.. a couple of guys are riding by on horses and they see some dudes arguing and bickering and picking on someone and getting drunk. And then they pass a sign that says "The Barrens" and just keep going.

    It wouldn't be authentic unless they were talking about Chuck Norris and how Obama is a socialist.

    EDIT: Ugh, terrible top post.

    I do remember the Chuck Norris discussions, though I must have missed the Obama is a Socialist ones. Despite the fact that some of the [strike]best[/strike] most entertaining conversations I've ever had in WoW were in the Barrens, I wasn't really inclined to return there after I got past 30 or so (it's been a while, it might have been higher).

    But yeah, a rather mundane conversation would be a humorous tip of the hat. God knows every movie has to have a dragged out mundane conversation anyway.

    Synthesis on
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    Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    TheBog wrote: »
    Don't know if it's been brought up yet, but there needs to be a depiction or Barrens Chat somewhere in there. Like.. a couple of guys are riding by on horses and they see some dudes arguing and bickering and picking on someone and getting drunk. And then they pass a sign that says "The Barrens" and just keep going.

    It wouldn't be authentic unless they were talking about Chuck Norris and how Obama is a socialist.

    EDIT: Ugh, terrible top post.

    No no. The dudes have to be looking for Mankrik's wife.

    Nova_C on
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    tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Nova_C wrote: »
    TheBog wrote: »
    Don't know if it's been brought up yet, but there needs to be a depiction or Barrens Chat somewhere in there. Like.. a couple of guys are riding by on horses and they see some dudes arguing and bickering and picking on someone and getting drunk. And then they pass a sign that says "The Barrens" and just keep going.

    It wouldn't be authentic unless they were talking about Chuck Norris and how Obama is a socialist.

    EDIT: Ugh, terrible top post.

    No no. The dudes have to be looking for Mankrik's wife.

    Yeah, they go into the village, and there is a group of weaker looking adventurers being told by Mankrik to go look for his wife, and they are all scoffing at how easy this will be. Then about 45 minutes later they're in the barrens again and they stumble across their corpses having been killed by the boar dudes while fighting over a map.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
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    Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    And written in blood "Where is Mankirk's(sic) wife?"

    Nova_C on
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