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terrible advice thread : no more new kitty edition

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I love kitties hypothetically, because they're fuzzy and they can be affectionate. On the other hand, I also think they're manipulative little schmucks who enjoy toying with their people. And I have Centi's allergy problem, so then I feel extra guilty because I can't pet them for very long without going to wash my hands.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    JoeUser wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I love cats. Most cats are fucking dicks, but I love them anyway.

    3753421480fba0d783ee.jpg

    Haha, yes. My parents' cat will walk in front of the monitor while my dad's using the computer. Sometimes he even just sits there.

    Well if a guy spends a lot of time staring at the strange picture screen, that's gonna be the best place to go to get a guy's attention.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Last night my cat killed a giant spider somewhere in the house, but kindly decided to leave it for me as a treat inside my shoe which was downstairs. That was nice of her.

    She was all proud of it too this morning when I discovered it. Like "hey there big guy, I help out around the house too, so continue feeding me and leaving out fresh water. Also make with the belly rub".

    d'awwwwwwwww

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    JoeUser wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I love cats. Most cats are fucking dicks, but I love them anyway.

    3753421480fba0d783ee.jpg

    Haha, yes. My parents' cat will walk in front of the monitor while my dad's using the computer. Sometimes he even just sits there.

    Well if a guy spends a lot of time staring at the strange picture screen, that's gonna be the best place to go to get a guy's attention.
    Most of my cats try and help me type, or just flop down on the entire keyboard or flop right next to it and kick the motherfucker off the desk when they stretch out.

    Darmak on
    JtgVX0H.png
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Darmak wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    JoeUser wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I love cats. Most cats are fucking dicks, but I love them anyway.

    3753421480fba0d783ee.jpg

    Haha, yes. My parents' cat will walk in front of the monitor while my dad's using the computer. Sometimes he even just sits there.

    Well if a guy spends a lot of time staring at the strange picture screen, that's gonna be the best place to go to get a guy's attention.
    Most of my cats try and help me type, or just flop down on the entire keyboard or flop right next to it and kick the motherfucker off the desk when they stretch out.

    Well yeah, that shit's gotta go if you're gonna get any rubs.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Jordyn wrote: »
    So wait

    Most people complain about cats being too aloof.

    Now you're complaining that they're not aloof enough.

    all the cats I have ever known are always getting right up in your face and climbing on your lap when you're trying to read a book or play video games or what have you

    this is actually also a thing I dislike about small dogs

    Centipede Damascus on
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    ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Jordyn wrote: »
    So wait

    Most people complain about cats being too aloof.

    Now you're complaining that they're not aloof enough.

    all the cats I have ever known are always getting right up in your face and climbing on your lap when you're trying to read a book or play video games or what have you

    this is actually also a thing I dislike about small dogs

    I dislike small dogs (most of the time) because fuck me are they clingy as shit, but not all cats do that, at least not all the time

    my cat keeps to herself mostly, but when she wants attention she knows how to get it

    Zombiemambo on
    JKKaAGp.png
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    cats are uppity and I don't care for them

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    so I read somewhere that the reason cats kill things and then deliver them to you isn't because they want you to be proud of their achievements

    it's because, as hunters, they never see you catching and devouring anything

    so when they bring you shit, it's because they're worried that you're not eating enough

    and I think that's goddamn adorable

    Shorty on
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    or because they think you aren't pulling your weight around this joint


    "look. look at what I did, in my spare time, go kill something you lazy bitch."

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
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    moocowmoocow Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Two out of three of my old roommates kitties used to sit on my lap (or in my window sill, which was right next to the side of my desk) when I was on the computer. And I was playing WoW in those days, so I was on the computer a lot. Kitties all watching me slay the dragon and get the loot. The third kitty was kind of shy (rescue kitty), and hardly ever voluntarily jumped up on a lap.

    I liked her kitties, they were not dicks at all.

    moocow on
    imttnk.png
    PS4:MrZoompants
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    moocow wrote: »
    Two out of three of my old roommates kitties used to sit on my lap (or in my window sill, which was right next to the side of my desk) when I was on the computer. And I was playing WoW in those days, so I was on the computer a lot. Kitties all watching me slay the dragon and get the loot. The third kitty was kind of shy (rescue kitty), and hardly ever voluntarily jumped up on a lap.

    I liked her kitties, they were not dicks at all.

    catliketypingdetected.gif

    JoeUser on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Stale wrote: »
    or because they think you aren't pulling your weight around this joint


    "look. look at what I did, in my spare time, go kill something you lazy bitch."

    I believe it's the opposite. You supply them with food and fresh water. You just set it out for them for free, so they must think you're doing alright. So whenever they bag a spider or a small rodent, they deliver it with the thought of "hey, I'm helping out too...here's a mouse".

    When my cat kills something, she always has this triumphant look about her and likes to get attention by making noise or carrying the carcass around the house. I usually give her a treat, because I hate spiders and she's my little furry engine of arachnid destruction.

    Hunter on
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Stale wrote: »
    cats are uppity and I don't care for them

    But cats and dogs can get along!

    catanddogsleep.jpg

    JoeUser on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    interspecies relations

    disgusting

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    My cats growl at each other over the toys.

    One can be playing happily with a mouse and the other will just walk up to sit and chill while playing cat gets all huffy and starts growling.

    Then they'll bring one of us the toy all "Look...I killed this fake thing for you. That other fucker? My brother? He didn't do shit. Except up in the loft about two hours ago...you want to go clean that up? Thanks."

    DrZiplock on
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    interspecies relations

    disgusting

    See what happens when you legalize gay marriage?!

    2622077945ca02b4992a.jpg

    JoeUser on
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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    interspecies relations

    disgusting

    Nine out of ten Captain Kirks disagree

    the tenth one is fucking a green chick right now

    Butler on
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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    JoeUser wrote: »
    moocow wrote: »
    Two out of three of my old roommates kitties used to sit on my lap (or in my window sill, which was right next to the side of my desk) when I was on the computer. And I was playing WoW in those days, so I was on the computer a lot. Kitties all watching me slay the dragon and get the loot. The third kitty was kind of shy (rescue kitty), and hardly ever voluntarily jumped up on a lap.

    I liked her kitties, they were not dicks at all.

    catliketypingdetected.gif

    Ahahaha. After a minute of thought, I have to confess that my typing style could be considered "catlike" in all the wrong ways! All of my chatlogs are full of "ffffffgfg"-like conversations, more or less at all times.

    Edit: No seriously, I am apparently some sort of gibberish-savant.
    The Lady Nelson: kgbndskhj
    Greg: Then I told them to shut their collective ass-mouths! "Hey shut your collective ass-mouths and go play a show in Chicago!"
    The Lady Nelson: Wow, you went way out of your way to swear at my favourite band!
    Greg: I do what I can!
    The Lady Nelson: mdbkjdfsgh

    Brett: Have you at least read the new All-Star Superman?
    The Lady Nelson: No.
    Brett: It was no am the Bizarro Unjustice League!
    The Lady Nelson: Sfkhbjhgsh

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    If I remember that site correctly it wasn't just going for gibberish, they were checking to see if the keys pressed were all in proximity to each other. Cause cat's paws are fat and mash all the keys.

    Cats with dialing wands could get past it though

    SoaL on
    DKFA7.gif
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    KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    so after telling me i could keep her, and being gone for three days, my dad's first words when coming through the door last night were "get rid of the cat"

    not even a fucking hello

    Kusuguttai on
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    so after telling me i could keep her, and being gone for three days, my dad's first words when coming through the door last night were "get rid of the cat"

    not even a fucking hello

    :(

    Why?

    JoeUser on
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    KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    because apparently he was under the impression i would keep a four month old kitten in my room 100% of the time without ever letting her out

    Kusuguttai on
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    tell him he's a douchenozzle

    no don't thats terrible advice

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Boo, that sucks!

    JoeUser on
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    Sir PlatypusSir Platypus Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Throw the kitten at him

    (Don't throw the kitten at him)

    Sir Platypus on
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    IvarIvar Oslo, NorwayRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    6153.MayorWestwithCatLauncher.jpg

    Ivar on
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    AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    JoeUser wrote: »
    moocow wrote: »
    Two out of three of my old roommates kitties used to sit on my lap (or in my window sill, which was right next to the side of my desk) when I was on the computer. And I was playing WoW in those days, so I was on the computer a lot. Kitties all watching me slay the dragon and get the loot. The third kitty was kind of shy (rescue kitty), and hardly ever voluntarily jumped up on a lap.

    I liked her kitties, they were not dicks at all.

    catliketypingdetected.gif

    Okay

    So what happens when the cat types "terminate human"?

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    AMP'd wrote: »
    JoeUser wrote: »
    moocow wrote: »
    Two out of three of my old roommates kitties used to sit on my lap (or in my window sill, which was right next to the side of my desk) when I was on the computer. And I was playing WoW in those days, so I was on the computer a lot. Kitties all watching me slay the dragon and get the loot. The third kitty was kind of shy (rescue kitty), and hardly ever voluntarily jumped up on a lap.

    I liked her kitties, they were not dicks at all.

    catliketypingdetected.gif

    Okay

    So what happens when the cat types "terminate human"?

    Please. If a cat wants to kill you, i'll do it itself, with its bare paws.

    Or maybe by like... knocking an expensive vase off a shelf onto your head or something.

    Framling on
    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
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    IskanderIskander Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    guys guys guys i am getting a dog in two weeks yay!

    Iskander on
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    AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Iskander, now is not the time

    Go to the Twilight thread for that

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    So I've started leaving my bedroom door open at night because my cats get all whiny when I don't. Woke up last night to a strange warmth behind my head - one cat was sitting on my pillow just behind my head, and the other was just chilling on the other pillow.

    Also Shadow (the female) is starting to become very vocal, with a lot of little 'mrrow's every time she thinks she sees something interesting. Spike is still the strong but silent type.

    And Kusu, that sucks, dude. Sorry to hear that :(

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    vsove wrote: »
    So I've started leaving my bedroom door open at night because my cats get all whiny when I don't. Woke up last night to a strange warmth behind my head - one cat was sitting on my pillow just behind my head, and the other was just chilling on the other pillow.

    Also Shadow (the female) is starting to become very vocal, with a lot of little 'mrrow's every time she thinks she sees something interesting. Spike is still the strong but silent type.


    d'awwwwwwwwwwww

    DrZiplock on
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    Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    My wife's cat Smokey is an asshole and a cockblocker. If he senses me making the moves on his woman in our bed, he jumps on whichever hand of mine has offended his high moral standards and claws the shit out of it. He won't claw her, that's his woman, and spousal abuse isn't cool. When he's on her lap, he gives me the smuggest looks, as if to say, "She's mine now, look at this shit." I'll wake up in the middle of the night with Smokey laying on her stomach, making biscuits on her chest. This motherfucker has the balls to look me in the eyes while he cops a feel on my wife. Fuck that cat.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Iskander wrote: »
    guys guys guys i am getting a dog in two weeks yay!

    Yay! Do you get to bring him to work?

    JoeUser on
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    FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    My wife's cat Smokey is an asshole and a cockblocker. If he senses me making the moves on his woman in our bed, he jumps on whichever hand of mine has offended his high moral standards and claws the shit out of it. He won't claw her, that's his woman, and spousal abuse isn't cool. When he's on her lap, he gives me the smuggest looks, as if to say, "She's mine now, look at this shit." I'll wake up in the middle of the night with Smokey laying on her stomach, making biscuits on her chest. This motherfucker has the balls to look me in the eyes while he cops a feel on my wife. Fuck that cat.

    Oh jesus, at first I thought "making biscuits" was code for pooping.

    Framling on
    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
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    FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    vsove wrote: »
    Also Shadow (the female) is starting to become very vocal, with a lot of little 'mrrow's every time she thinks she sees something interesting. Spike is still the strong but silent type.

    Yesterday, I was reading this code sample, and in the sample, they declared a MethodRow object and called it "mrow."

    I couldn't fucking read past that, I just kept thinking about cats.

    Framling on
    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
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    AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Framling wrote: »
    My wife's cat Smokey is an asshole and a cockblocker. If he senses me making the moves on his woman in our bed, he jumps on whichever hand of mine has offended his high moral standards and claws the shit out of it. He won't claw her, that's his woman, and spousal abuse isn't cool. When he's on her lap, he gives me the smuggest looks, as if to say, "She's mine now, look at this shit." I'll wake up in the middle of the night with Smokey laying on her stomach, making biscuits on her chest. This motherfucker has the balls to look me in the eyes while he cops a feel on my wife. Fuck that cat.

    Oh jesus, at first I thought "making biscuits" was code for pooping.

    Making biscuits is code for being adorable

    When a cat does it to you

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    3689208802_f8473b8718.jpg

    Oh to dream.

    NotASenator on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    that room is in either some Lego corporate office somewhere or the house of an autistic person

    MrMonroe on
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