Fuck.
So this morning there were like 10 wild turkeys in the backyard tearing up the lawn so I went out to chase them off. In doing so I noticed there was a scratching noise coming from under the grill cover. Not wanting anything to come flying out at me if I investigated I decided to ignore it and hope whatever it was left.
Cut to a few minutes ago and I hear the scratching again, so I gingerly remove the cover. Nothing. I lift the lid on the grill and there's a field mouse sitting on the rocks. Fucker. No big deal, I'll just chase him out.
But this mouse couldn't make it that simple. As I'm removing rocks it skitters around the bottom of the grill. I get to the final corner it's hiding in and see some of the fire retardant fibers from the grill cover tucked into the corner. Fucker was making a home in there. But that's not the shit. As I remove a bigger stone from over it the mouse flees from the corner and in the process knocks a fucking baby mouse out as it goes.
This shithead mouse has not only made a nest in the grill but also had babies in there. What the fuck.
On the one hand this is fucked up not only because the mouse has made an aggressive move into my territory, but also that's not sanitary in the grill, dammit. And on top of that I wage war with them during the winter when they try to live in my ceiling and I keep having to drive them out to the forest in humane traps.
On the other hand awwwwww.
So what do I do? Do I just make sure nobody uses the grill until the mice move out and then purge the thing with cleaner and fire? Do I try to trap the mother in a humane trap, nudge the babies in a box with some nesting material, put the mother in there, then drive them out to the forest? Do I turn the grill on and teach them a lesson? (Answer to that one is no, but they're lucky I love animals.)
Fucking mice.
(edit.. I'm leaning towards just making sure nobody uses the grill and letting them live their short, mousey babiness out until they're old enough to leave/be chased out. As of now they're kind of big but still hairless. It's just that as much as I like mice and all they're a nuisance and that shit is gross in my grill.)
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If I were in your shoes, I would take the whole grill out into the woods and dump it upside down, spilling both the rocks and the mouse nest. Pick up the rocks, and take your grill back.
There is a chance the mouse fucked up your grill by tearing out all the fluffy material to use as its nest also, so you might want to inspect it after before firing it back up.
You have to think of them as pests. Would you coddle roaches if they were doing the same? If you don't get them away from your house they'll become winter guests inside once it gets cold (as you know).
Okay, so you've convinced me to not leave them alone. I've put some peanut butter in a humane trap and put it in the grill. I figure a mother mouse will probably be eager to eat so hopefully she'll go in before too long.
I've got a small cardboard box set up with some paper towel in it and a plastic spoon standing by. When mother goes in the trap I'm going to remove the rest of the rocks and bottom grill piece and I'm going to spoon the mice into the box. Then I'm going to walk them down to the woods behind my house, open the trap, set it next to the babies, walk away, and hope the mother is willing to drag them off somewhere nearby rather than abandon them.
I'll go back for the trap tomorrow and hopefully I won't be greeted by baby mouse corpses.
(And yes I know I should take them further away but it brings with it other complications. Mouse wasn't in my house so I'm not as worried about it.)
Though after just going out to check on it, hearing the mouse on the trap, lifting the lid a bit and seeing it sitting on the top plate looking at me, running off, and then finding the inside of my trap filled with mouse piss I do grow more churlish.
I just can't outright condemn the babies to death because the mother is a stupid cunt.
So I said fuck it this is annoying and went inside and got a small toilet paper tube sized box to scare the mother into. I took out the rest of the outside rocks and removed the lower grill piece leaving her exposed. I set the box down and kind of tried to shoo her in there but she's dumb as a mouse and ended up dropping her baby in a corner and exited via the bottom.
Now she's sitting on a thin piece of metal of questionable purpose under the grill and didn't seem inclined to be scared back into it.
So rather than scare her away I left the box in there, closed the lid, and came back in. In 20 minutes I'm going back out there. If she's not sitting outside still I'm taping off the exits and this ends one way or another.
I imagine she'll probably go back in once she calms down so I can force her into the box when she has no other exit and then the plan proceeds as normal. But if she's just decided to take off fuck it I tried. The babies are going in a box, then they're going down to the woods, then they can die a baby mouse's death abandoned by a stupid shitty mother who decided to nest in the most idiotic spot possible.
(Really, what the fuck. If I hadn't heard her picking apart the grill cover for the fiber they all would have been cooked alive because they were completely out of sight at the bottom of the grill under the rocks.)
Went back out and the mouse wasn't in sight. I taped up the holes on the bottom of the grill (pain in the ass) then opened the top. The mouse was in fact back inside. Idiot refused to be hardcore chased into the box, kept randomly grabbing babies from outside, pulling them under the burner, then moving them back to a corner.
Oddly the mouse didn't seem to be super afraid of me really, it was more scared of me being aggressive. (It would calmly sniff my finger if I put it near it.) So given that I put the box entrance next to its nest, then for some reason when I stopped chasing her she kind of looked inside then crawled in to check it out.
Snatched the box up, taped it shut, spooned up the babies (pain in the ass, they're all fragile and the bottom of the grill is covered in rust flakes and shit and I couldn't touch them with my hands for fear of my scent being on them), put them in the other box, and brought them down to the woods next to a big ass rock and a tree next to some flatland, some foresty area, and some swampy area. So the mouse has lots of real estate choice.
Opened the mother's box, angled it so she'd have to run past her babies when she exited, and left to go clean up.
I shall return to see what happened in a couple hours or so. Hopefully she'll drag them off to a better home.
If you want them to stay gone, drive them a good bit away. If you can walk it, they or their progeny will be back soon enough.
See here's the thing. I live right next to a super woodsy area. Mice are around regardless of this one. The only problem with this one is that she tried to make a nest hidden inside a fucking grill.
Really they don't pose any issue until it gets cold (I live in CT), but so long as I trap them immediately it doesn't turn into a problem. Two winters ago I started trapping mid-winter and had to catch probably a dozen or so. This past winter I put up traps as soon as I heard them and only ever had to deal with two.
So it's not an issue of "shit you got mice around your place," it's an issue of, "random mouse picked the dumbest fucking spot to have some kids." Just a temporary solution for a temporary problem. Winter mice do get driven about a mile away to the state forest.
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But I'd clean it first just to be sure. Or turn on the heat, let it cool, clean it, and then heat it again.
Sunlight will kill viruses so you can also leave the grill open to the sun for a few hours tomorrow and not have to worry about being infected while you clean it. Grill heat should also kill both bacteria and viruses but theoretically it is possible to transfer some to the tongs or something that isn't getting cocked and get infected that way. (I would still clean it)
Getting cocked eh? Who ISN'T getting cocked these days...
But in all seriousness, I for some reason am very interested in this story. Make sure to let us know what happens to these mice.
As for the mouse, as of a couple hours after relocation I went back down there yesterday and she was just huddled in the corner of the box with the babies. Sometime over the night though she, her babies, and her nesting material have all disappeared so I believe she's moved to a new home.
So turkeys bad, mouse is good.
You should invite the turkeys over on Thanksgiving, see if you can't reconcile and get over your differences.
I do.