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Advice Please :)
Ben6661
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He could have commitment issues, he could just be anxiety-prone.
You say he tends to be a worrier, has he considered counseling of any sort? If it's just little things, that's one thing, but if it's getting in the way of living his life, it might be helpful.
Unfortunately, if a relationship can't work because it is too stressful, that's how it goes. I never support ending a relationship because one of the people has a mental illness, but if he refuses to get counseling/get treated, there isn't much you can do.
Something more along the lines of, "You know, you don't have to figure all this out alone. Remember when you were considering counseling before? How do you feel about that idea?" might be better.
You two are both young enough that you might still be able to be covered under your parents' insurance (depending on which state you're in and sometimes if you're in college or not). So seriously consider a bit of counseling/encouraging counseling, a primary care doctor could probably come up with a recommendation/referral.
I don't want to be a complete Debbie Downer but you may consider taking a break yourself. He needs to clear his head (and perhaps get counseling) but you should take advantage of this too. This may sound horrible but you two are still really young, so maybe going so far as to see other people? I've been with my wife pretty much since we met in college. But early in our relationship (the first few years) we both had reservations about the idea of being the only partner the other had ever really had. It's something that I think may be a bit more problematic for us guys because of that genetic impulse to sow wild oats and all that. It's certainly something you can work through though, my wife and I are moving on four years of marriage and nine of being together as a couple. On the opposite side a college friend of mine and his wife who got married a little while after we did just split, so don't feel like this thing HAS to work or you'll never be happy again.
So, there's certainly hope for you guys, but at the same time maybe give other people a try or just take a break and trust him to work things out while you take things easy and try not to worry too much.
In many ways that's what a counselor will do, and I do think that counseling would help him, but that doesn't mean you can't also help counsel him.
In my opinion, you need to help him realize that while anxiety is normal, he has no reason to be pessimistic. If he's anxious about losing you, pointing out that "there's no reason for that, because you have me" and when he comes back with "yeah but what about 5 years from now" you come back with "well what about today? I'm with you today, and we're having today right now. Isn't today better than tomorrow? And guess what? I'll be with you tomorrow, too."
So you should be optimistic and, by doing so, gently point out how his anxiety is causing him to worry about a future point that is irrelevant, because he's ignoring the present.
The opposite point of view is that he's actually having second thoughts but isn't sure how to tell you, and he's doing this because he's not sure what HE wants and he thinks he doesn't want to be with you. But let's assume he's simply having anxiety and is worrying about the future needlessly.