The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
Please vote in the Forum Structure Poll. Polling will close at 2PM EST on January 21, 2025.
Orgasm problem
Talka
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I'm a guy. I haven't had sex in a few months, but I suspect it's about to happen with this one new girl pretty soon. I'm worried that a problem I've had intermittently in the past has gotten worse recently, and it's making me nervous to think about doing the deed with this new woman with this problem in the back of my mind.
It takes me a very long time to be able to orgasm. The fastest I can do it is when I'm masturbating, and in the past this would take me about twenty five minutes. For some reason, however, recently it's been taking me upwards of forty minutes (at which point it's not even really enjoyable anymore, and I'm just bored and want to do other stuff). When I'm with a lady, it can take even longer. Like, the norm is about an hour or so. And some days it takes longer than that. Which means I normally stop after awhile and just go to work finishing myself off in order to save time (but it still takes a while). I've learned a few tricks a girl can do to get me off faster (I won't go into details, but stuff like tongue in the ear, etc). However, when I'm with a new girl for the first time it can get a little weird when I'm not only taking forever to get off, but I also have to ask for these very specific turn-ons. I worry girls think I'm not attracted to them, and so I feel I have to assure them that I actually do think they're quite sexy, but I think my saying that only makes them worry more.
Having lots of stamina can be fun at times, but it creates way more problems than it solves. Sometimes things are winding down for the girl and I haven't finished yet and it's like I have to choose between not finishing at all or going through another half hour of half-hearted fooling around on both our parts. Or if on the first time with a girl I don't actually orgasm? I don't know, it can get awkward. And truthfully, sometimes it feels like for the part of sex when I'm between 50% and 98% of the way there, I'm not even really enjoying it.
So, any tricks for making it happen sooner? Or if not, advice for dealing and talking with girls about my situation when we're about to get to it? Communication is normally the best, but like I said it gets... weird when I say something like "if I don't cum it's not because you aren't sexy."
It takes me a very long time to be able to orgasm. The fastest I can do it is when I'm masturbating, and in the past this would take me about twenty five minutes. For some reason, however, recently it's been taking me upwards of forty minutes (at which point it's not even really enjoyable anymore, and I'm just bored and want to do other stuff). When I'm with a lady, it can take even longer. Like, the norm is about an hour or so. And some days it takes longer than that. Which means I normally stop after awhile and just go to work finishing myself off in order to save time (but it still takes a while). I've learned a few tricks a girl can do to get me off faster (I won't go into details, but stuff like tongue in the ear, etc). However, when I'm with a new girl for the first time it can get a little weird when I'm not only taking forever to get off, but I also have to ask for these very specific turn-ons. I worry girls think I'm not attracted to them, and so I feel I have to assure them that I actually do think they're quite sexy, but I think my saying that only makes them worry more.
Having lots of stamina can be fun at times, but it creates way more problems than it solves. Sometimes things are winding down for the girl and I haven't finished yet and it's like I have to choose between not finishing at all or going through another half hour of half-hearted fooling around on both our parts. Or if on the first time with a girl I don't actually orgasm? I don't know, it can get awkward. And truthfully, sometimes it feels like for the part of sex when I'm between 50% and 98% of the way there, I'm not even really enjoying it.
So, any tricks for making it happen sooner? Or if not, advice for dealing and talking with girls about my situation when we're about to get to it? Communication is normally the best, but like I said it gets... weird when I say something like "if I don't cum it's not because you aren't sexy."
Talka on
0
Posts
Just relax, explain the situation in a way that avoids stigmatising the problem and just have fun. It'll come when it comes (haha).
Should increase friction and cause it to happen.
but they're listening to every word I say
Sounds like that is what you are doing unintentionaly. You are checking the time, or thinking of other things during sex. Or trying to do this that or the other thing, or focusing on how you can bring it up to get her to do those things.
Have you tried focusing more on the moment and how everything feels, and focus on the sensations you are experiencing? (another avenue, check the orgasm self help books for women, since they often have the same problems achieving orgasm).
Also, try switching up either your viewing material or your positions for masturbating. If you do it sitting, try laying on your back, etc.
MWO: Adamski
not necessarily. some dudes just have delayed ejaculation. this is probably just this guy's pace.
http://adam.about.com/encyclopedia/infectiousdiseases/Delayed-ejaculation.htm
I'm kinda the same way, shes on 2 or 3 and I'm working hard for mine. But if we really get it heated up before hand, it goes a lot quicker. Spend more time fooling around beforehand and get all worked up, have her get hands on before the train gets to the station
You sir are a twisted perverted deviant who shouldn't be allowed out in polite society.
Marijuana can affect this drastically as well, some people go longer most people go shorter so give it a try if you're that bothered by it.
An unorthodox but effective approach is to attempt 'male kegeling'. Both men and women have the same pelvic floor muscle. In women it greatly affects the 'tightness' of their vagina. Though in both sexes it's primary function is to close the uninary tract after peeing. As a man you can get a feel for where this muscle is and the difficulty in using it (initially) by interupting your urination mid stream, by practicing this you can immensely strengthen the pelvic floor muscle, and once you figure out which muscle to flex you can practice any time durring the day. This muscle almost certainly will then contribute to stronger erections, longer orgasm distances (if you measure that sort of thing) and better stamina, if you strengthen it to the point of being able to stop your orgasm itself you can also find the holy grail of male sexual arousal, the male multiple orgasm. Since it makes your orgasms far stronger though I'm betting in this case you'll get the benefit of reduced stamina.