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Teach me how to kiss (Update page 2)
Alt McAlty
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
alt because I'm embarrassed.
Anyway, I've finally gotten into my first real relationship with an awesome girl, and we've gotten to the stage where it's obvious some kissing needs to be involved. :winky:
I was in her apartment tonight and we were having a great time, and when I left I was kind of a pussy so I didn't do anything, but I really should have attempted to kiss her. We hugged but that was basically it. The problem is that I have no idea what I'm doing.
Tell me, H&A, what should I be going for for a first kiss? Closed mouth? Open mouth? A peck? Basically what I'm saying is I need advice.
Is all the advice in Hitch true about leaning halfway and closing the eyes? :P
Oh, and by the way, I know you all want to know. I'm 21, she's 19.
Anyway, I've finally gotten into my first real relationship with an awesome girl, and we've gotten to the stage where it's obvious some kissing needs to be involved. :winky:
I was in her apartment tonight and we were having a great time, and when I left I was kind of a pussy so I didn't do anything, but I really should have attempted to kiss her. We hugged but that was basically it. The problem is that I have no idea what I'm doing.
Tell me, H&A, what should I be going for for a first kiss? Closed mouth? Open mouth? A peck? Basically what I'm saying is I need advice.
Is all the advice in Hitch true about leaning halfway and closing the eyes? :P
Oh, and by the way, I know you all want to know. I'm 21, she's 19.
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Seriously though, don't overthink it. As hackneyed as it sounds, when the time comes you'll figure it out on your own. And if it's shitty, then it's an excuse for you two to practise some more.
Thank you, Rubacava!
My first kiss I messed up and kissed her eye.
She then tried and missed, kissing my ear.
I don't know what the fuck happened that night.
We weren't that great at it, until she recommended we kiss more for practice.
No worries. Just don't think about it. It'll ruin it. Let it happen and just try to kiss according to the mood. For a first kiss, not a peck. Not really clear on what closed vs open mouth means (your mouth will be open unless you're trying to vicegrip her lips). I guess you mean tongue? In which case, not unless she does.
What kind of relationship? girlfriend/boyfriend?
Your just going to have to do it.
Logistically, it's not that hard of a problem. Your lips have to meet hers. Optimally and recommended: you look into her eyes before hand. For first kiss, keep closed lips. It'll come naturally
The problem, more then likely; is that one or both of you are nervous. It's ok if that's the case. Sometimes it's ok to talk about it, specially if the feelings are mutual. Or just wait till it's the right moment...or just do it.
She obviously likes you, right? What's the worst that could happen? You kiss her "wrong"? Trust me, she'll forgive you if you some how manage to screw it up. It's also doubtful she'll reject your moves if you in a relationship, she's probably wanting and fretting over as much as you are.
If you still can't do it. Talk to her about it. Don't get all whiny about it; but do it in a playful or fun matter.
Also nothing say you have to go straight into a kiss. Get closer with her physically so you both get more comfortable in each other's space. If your not doing that already? Hug her more, put your hand on her knee/around her shoulders. Tickle her and goof around. Have her sit on your lap. Lay and cuddle on the couch together and watch a movie, etc.
Once you are both enjoying physical contact and being more intimate with each other, then a kiss is bound to happen naturally.
So, yea, I guess that is my advice. Become more intimate with her; just the small things. You'll both become more comfortable and relaxed when you used to sharing space and used to the other's touch. Then it should just "flow" and before you know it, your in make out city.
Don't go for tongue on your very first kiss with her unless she is being aggressive
I am assuming you're dating a girl
For the first, by "going 90", you are showing enough that is the action you want to do and when you get that close to someone, it is pretty obvious. By letting her do the final "10", it will give you an indication that she wants to in the end. If you just plant one on her, she might not have wanted it.
You can close your eyes, just go in slow (most of the way), and close them if you want when you are at "90".
For the second thing (doing something wrong), think about if she kissed you what would make you go "WTF was that???" (in a bad way). Flappin' your tongue around, biting, being very aggressive, trying to swallow her...some of these might be enjoyable if these are things you both enjoy...but you "might" want to avoid doing so the first time for you need to find out first if she (or even you) enjoy these.
Believe me, the nervousness will drop nearly completely after the first kiss, so be conservative and respectful and she will reciprocate.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Start slowly and work your way up to more. You'll figure out what you (both) like.
Somehow, I survived... and so will you.
Just freaking kiss the girl, it's not rocket science. 8-)
Sometimes you just got to take the plunge.
If you don't know what to do with your hands, remember, the earlobe is the most sensitive part of the face after the lips.
Yes it's a girlfriend/boyfriend thing though it's not official (in the sense that we haven't explicitly talked about it in those terms). Yesterday was the second "date" (in the sense that it was just us doing stuff).
I'll just go for it next time. Arm around the shoulders will happen too.
Yeah I'm probably overanalyzing.
EDIT: She's a girl, I'm a guy, since there seems to be confusion.
This made me laugh far more than it should have.
Most of the time a first kiss with someone will come from some extended eye contact. This doesnt mean stare at her until your eyes bleed, but if you catch each others eyes just smile and enjoy the moment.
Basically this.
I mean, there are people who are varying degrees of good or bad at it, but for the most part is comes pretty naturally.
Don't freak out about it and you're good to go.
Also, no biting. Not at first anyway.
Or the follow-up NYTime article "Man cannibalizes 'girlfriend', faces 30 years in prison".
Also, to reiterate - dont go all out like they do in the movies for the first kiss. My first GF did this and it was aaaawkward and weird. Just a simple kiss, pressed lips - dont pucker too much like an old grandma though. Either way, itll be natural or whatever :P
*Edited for sexual clarity*
Just kiss her already.
My point is if you don't think of things as benchmarks you might have less worry. Girlfriends aren't games or sitcom episodes, theyre people, and if you can manage to treat each other as such you should be ok.
Thank you.
and then a ballgame of "Teach me to___" threads ending in only 1 place
teach me to
yeah my first kiss was with someone with a lot more experience than myself and it's terrifying as hell until you actually do it, then you realize that it's one of the most natural things and you were just being dumb about it.
relax and enjoy it
2. Go with the flow.
I did it (twice).
I went to her place last night and attempted somewhat awkwardly to kiss her, which she rebuffed (and had me kiss her on the cheek instead). So I left.
But it turns out she was just surprised by the whole thing and the next day I visited her at work and through an extremely cute set up, she made an excuse to kiss me.
Yay.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
(It was wetter than I expected :P )
Now you get to move on to much better lip locking things... :winky:
How wet are we talking about? You were probably a little sloppy but that will get better with time. Remember, lips to lips. You aren't eating her face.
but they're listening to every word I say
I just felt wetness upon contact. There was no residual liquid.
And on the second kiss we did the nose bump thing. :P
Oh don't worry about the nose bump...
I've had hot and heavy times with head/teeth bumping. Ain't no thing.
God teeth bumping hurts like a bitch.
Oh god the painful memories.
It's also important to sort out 'pecks' and real kisses. Pecks are what your parents give you on the cheek to show that they love you, while they have a place in romantic relationships (usually several placed from the neck to the cheek) they don't accomplish much. Go for a real kiss, mouth to mouth extended period and open lipped. Pecks are an easy way to make her think you're not confident or you're treating her like family.
Be sure not to slobber. The lips are ok but slobbering around them is generally disliked. Keep your mouth clean and go for it.
Kissing cements a relationship together, the more you do it the faster your and her attachment grows. I've yet to meet a girl who was unenthusiastic about spending inordinate amounts (hours upon hours) of time cuddling and kissing each other and it's a very good strategy for establishing a lasting bond with someone.
As you practice you'll get much better and if she's more experienced than you once you're confident enough ask her what she likes.
Most women also enjoy neck pecks and extended neck kissing (be careful about hickies). The cartoonish person kissing up her arm and her neck to her cheek is actually a good method to employ once the relationship has been established.
This bit amuses me to no end.
I'm assuming that you just hung around awkwardly for awhile and made small talk/whatever before you left, not that you stormed out because you were pissed she didn't let you kiss her.
But the latter is kinda what it sounds like from your post
What I would have done.
"well I'm not getting any" and leg it out of there
Ha, oh yeah, that doesn't sound that good.
It was actually at the end of the visit. We had just gone out somewhere and then come back to her place and hung out for a bit, and as I was leaving I went for it. Then just smiled and left after the awkwardness, saying normal goodbye things. Then we exchanged some goodnight texts later on once I got home.
It wasn't super awkward and I could half guess that she was just taken aback by it a bit.
It's not like a went over, went "KISS ME!" and then left. :P