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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories

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Posts

  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »

    Oddly, loving transformers and anime did wonders for my social standing at university.
    Just not with the ladies.

    Also since you guys are talking about bad prom experiences and this is the "god my ex was horrible" thread...
    Are you ready?
    It's pretty bad.
    I broke up with my girlfriend right before I was supposed to take her to prom night

    Yes, I was that monster.

    Not the best timing but I probably wouldn't have wanted to spend 8 hours with a person I no longer liked either.

    King Riptor on
    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • ChopperDaveChopperDave Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Underdog wrote: »
    Had you already purchased everything and arranged it all?

    Well, she had....

    That's pretty bad.

    What's worse was what somebody I know did: took the girl to prom, stayed cold and distant from her the entire time, confessed that he didn't love her anymore when they were alone at an after party, dumped her, and left her to cry with her friends (whose nights were also now ruined) to hang out with another girl.

    Fucking harsh.

    ChopperDave on
    3DS code: 3007-8077-4055
  • MelksterMelkster Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Melkster wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Melkster wrote: »
    Anti-catholic rant


    I sense some bias.

    Well his first paragraph is true. If I had to go through that shit I'd be pretty fucking biased too.

    Where does it say he went through it? All I see is a lecture on what 'real' Catholics believe/do, because obviously being raised catholic, going to a catholic school, being an assistant to the clergy until my late teens and having almost-universally Catholic friends until College doesn't give me a good perspective on Catholics.

    I did go through it, and I did say that here:
    Melkster wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    My girlfriend's a lapsed Catholic and I'm an agnostic atheist or "soft atheist." She doesn't go to church or try to convert me or anything. It's a dynamic that works pretty well, as long as we don't talk about beliefs. I actually don't really mind when she explains to me her religion (I find it fairly interesting), but she always gets REALLY pissed off when I try to expound on mine. She flipped a shit on me and accused me of "forcing my beliefs" on her when I tried to explain why I don't believe in heaven or hell— probably because she doesn't like hearing someone logically deconstructing the idea of paradisal afterlife when she believes her grandfathers are waiting for her up there. Sometimes I wish she's find a better belief system, though, because right now she's not-so-secretly convinced that she's going to hell for all the moral/grave sins she's committed in life.

    The only thing I'm worried about is if we ever get married and have kids. There's no fucking way I'm having a Catholic ceremony—my parents are Jews, and I think it's all a bunch of nonsense anyway—and she's pretty adamant on raising her kids Catholic. Why the fuck would I want my kids beating themselves up over every little thing the church defines as a sin, or believing in a system that tells them that they're filthy creatures who need to be saved? No disrespect to the girlfriend or any Catholics on the board, but I'd want my kids to have the choice before entering into such a potentially-masochistic belief system.

    I guess what I'm getting at is that there is a pretty serious and compelling reason for an atheist to try to "convert" the partner—even a moderately observant one, like my girlfriend— or at least get her to make her beliefs personal and not force them on future kids. A lot of atheists wish people "saved" from their own hurtful belief systems, and while most of us can respect an individual's right to religion, things can get iffy when marriage or children are thrown into the mix.

    (Maybe this is getting off-topic enough to warrant a new thread. Something on mixed-religion relationships, maybe?)

    Uh, maybe because Catholics don't think like that. I grew up in a Irish-Catholic household, went to church, was an altar boy, and sent to Catholic Primary and High Schools. It was boring and repetitive, but nothing worse. Even before I became an atheist I wasn't wrapped in self-loathing, whipping myself every time I looked down a girl's blouse. So whilst I'd rather they weren't, I wouldn't have a cow if my kids were given a "moderately observant" upbringing.

    It's tough to say "maybe because Catholics don't think that" - because it implies that you're saying all Catholics don't think that. That just isn't true, because if you actually follow and believe the teachings of the Church - presumably, that's what your Catholic schools want you to do - then you should be constantly worrying about sins. I mean, you do understand that Catholicism teaches that you will tortured in Hell forever and ever, for all eternity without end or a break, without any hope of salvation if you commit a mortal sin without repenting of it, right? That's some serious fucking shit. They basically tell you that if you do something bad, you are at serious risk of being thrown in a dark hole for the entirety of your existence (which, by the way, will never end) where you will be subject to torture and fire and pain for all time, forever, and you'll always be there - you'll never be allowed to leave. And you're at serious risk of this eternal damnation with every grave sin - masturbation, homosexuality, abortion, sloth, lust, pride, envy, etc etc etc etc.

    It is cruel to teach a child that.

    Just because you apparently did not take that threat seriously doesn't mean you ought to send your children to a school that will encourage that belief system, or raise them in an enviornment where that belief system will be taught. Because some kids, like myself, do take them seriously - and that can cause harm.

    As far as my post being a 'lecture' of what "real" Catholics believe, I was simply repeating the teachings of the Church. Look it up (links below). Hell and mortal sin are things taught to every child who goes into Sunday School, High School Youth Group, or adult who takes Adult RCIA, any college student who takes a Catholic studies class, or any kid who attends a Catholic elementary school.

    And here's my citation, straight from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Hell and mortal sin

    Yes, I'm aware of the idea of hell and mortal sin, or it wouldn't have been a very good religious school would it? Neither I nor any of the more religiously observant kids I grew up with fretted over the idea of sin any more than they did being caught running in the corridors. Your parents, teachers or whoever's duty it was to teach you this stuff obviously neglected to lecture you on Purgatory or the relevence of the New Testament vis-a-vis judgement and forgiveness. Sorry about that. But your concept of religion seems to be a mix of your own bad experiences and a Bill Maher rant.

    I'm a little confused - you were certainly not taught that Purgatory or something in the New Testament made it so that an unrepentant mortal sin did not send someone to hell, right? Because that's just not Catholic teaching.

    Please inform me on what exactly I was not taught about Purgatory or the relevence of the New Testament. I'd love to hear it.

    Edit: And I'm not saying that your experience was not authentic. I'm not saying you weren't taught something substantially different than what I was taught. Nonetheless, if you just look at the facts - what the religion teaches - it's really easy to see how a child/adult/person could see issues like hell and mortal sin as extremely grave threats. I mean, you think that smoking is bad because you might get cancer and die. But masturbation is definitely just as bad, because if you do it in full knowledge of it's gravity and with deliberate consent, it's a mortal sin - and one of those suckers, unrepented, has the potential to send you straight to hell... According to the teaching of the Church.

    To say that this doesn't have the potential to cause some Catholics a great deal of distress really isn't rational.

    I happened to be one of those Catholics.
    Full disclosure: I actually hold a degree in Religious Studies from a Saint Edward's University in Austin, Texas. I taught Youth Group as a Youth Minister for my first two years of college. Before that I was heavily involved in Youth Group as a teen in High School. And before that, I went to a Catholic elementary school. I never missed a week of mass until my junior year in college, when I came to the difficult conclusion that the religion was simply not true.

    My experience of Catholicism is pretty deep. My education on the teachings of Catholicism is equally deep. I don't mention this to try and make it seem like my experience was any more authentic than your own. It's just, you expressed your experience, and so I thought I ought to express mine.

    Melkster on
  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »

    Oddly, loving transformers and anime did wonders for my social standing at university.
    Just not with the ladies.

    Also since you guys are talking about bad prom experiences and this is the "god my ex was horrible" thread...
    Are you ready?
    It's pretty bad.
    I broke up with my girlfriend right before I was supposed to take her to prom night

    Yes, I was that monster.

    Not the best timing but I probably wouldn't have wanted to spend 8 hours with a person I no longer liked either.

    That was pretty much it. I don't really have the inclination to go through the whole history of what led up to that point, but most of my posts so far have been "yeah that guy's a real asshole", so I thought it only fair to share that. :)

    Ed321 on
  • DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I'm glad my prom date and I had no emotional investment in each other whatsoever and both asked each other strictly out of convenience.

    I didn't get pissed when she left for the cabin party at 11:30, and she didn't get pissed when the a/c in my car died (100 degrees 90% humidity here folks - summer in KY for ya) or when I choked on my steak.

    Duffel on
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Melkster wrote: »
    I'm a little confused - you were certainly not taught that Purgatory or something in the New Testament made it so that an unrepentant mortal sin did not send someone to hell, right? Because that's just not Catholic teaching.

    Melkster why don't you make a religion thread and we can all tell you why your opinions are borderline insane there. This thread has been derailed enough.

    King Riptor on
    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Underdog wrote: »
    Had you already purchased everything and arranged it all?

    Well, she had....

    That's pretty bad.

    What's worse was what somebody I know did: took the girl to prom, stayed cold and distant from her the entire time, confessed that he didn't love her anymore when they were alone at an after party, dumped her, and left her to cry with her friends (whose nights were also now ruined) to hang out with another girl.

    Fucking harsh.

    that's like, I don't even know what to call that. That's like something that would happen in a bad teen movie and all the decent kids would plot revenge for.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
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  • MelksterMelkster Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Melkster wrote: »
    I'm a little confused - you were certainly not taught that Purgatory or something in the New Testament made it so that an unrepentant mortal sin did not send someone to hell, right? Because that's just not Catholic teaching.

    Melkster why don't you make a religion thread and we can all tell you why your opinions are borderline insane there. This thread has been derailed enough.

    :?

    My opinions and experiences are not borderline insane... On the contrary, the idea that a YOUNG CHILD can get SERIOUSLY DISTURBED when their parents and teachers and every authority figures tells them that you are at grave risk of burning in a lake of fire forever and ever is NOT insane or irrational. It's simply not. It's like telling a kid that monsters are real, they're out to get you, and unless you do what you're supposed to do, you'll get eaten right up every day of his life for all his childhood. If that didn't freak you out, you really just didn't take it seriously or were smarter than I was. I did take it seriously, and was not smart enough to reason out of it.

    But yeah, this thread is getting pretty derailed. So I guess I'll stop talking.

    Melkster on
  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    With the way that story went, I'm surprised he didn't light the house on fire and run over her dog on his way out.

    Robos A Go Go on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Melkster wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Melkster wrote: »
    Anti-catholic rant


    I sense some bias.

    Well his first paragraph is true. If I had to go through that shit I'd be pretty fucking biased too.

    Where does it say he went through it? All I see is a lecture on what 'real' Catholics believe/do, because obviously being raised catholic, going to a catholic school, being an assistant to the clergy until my late teens and having almost-universally Catholic friends until College doesn't give me a good perspective on Catholics.

    I did go through it, and I did say that here:
    Melkster wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    My girlfriend's a lapsed Catholic and I'm an agnostic atheist or "soft atheist." She doesn't go to church or try to convert me or anything. It's a dynamic that works pretty well, as long as we don't talk about beliefs. I actually don't really mind when she explains to me her religion (I find it fairly interesting), but she always gets REALLY pissed off when I try to expound on mine. She flipped a shit on me and accused me of "forcing my beliefs" on her when I tried to explain why I don't believe in heaven or hell— probably because she doesn't like hearing someone logically deconstructing the idea of paradisal afterlife when she believes her grandfathers are waiting for her up there. Sometimes I wish she's find a better belief system, though, because right now she's not-so-secretly convinced that she's going to hell for all the moral/grave sins she's committed in life.

    The only thing I'm worried about is if we ever get married and have kids. There's no fucking way I'm having a Catholic ceremony—my parents are Jews, and I think it's all a bunch of nonsense anyway—and she's pretty adamant on raising her kids Catholic. Why the fuck would I want my kids beating themselves up over every little thing the church defines as a sin, or believing in a system that tells them that they're filthy creatures who need to be saved? No disrespect to the girlfriend or any Catholics on the board, but I'd want my kids to have the choice before entering into such a potentially-masochistic belief system.

    I guess what I'm getting at is that there is a pretty serious and compelling reason for an atheist to try to "convert" the partner—even a moderately observant one, like my girlfriend— or at least get her to make her beliefs personal and not force them on future kids. A lot of atheists wish people "saved" from their own hurtful belief systems, and while most of us can respect an individual's right to religion, things can get iffy when marriage or children are thrown into the mix.

    (Maybe this is getting off-topic enough to warrant a new thread. Something on mixed-religion relationships, maybe?)

    Uh, maybe because Catholics don't think like that. I grew up in a Irish-Catholic household, went to church, was an altar boy, and sent to Catholic Primary and High Schools. It was boring and repetitive, but nothing worse. Even before I became an atheist I wasn't wrapped in self-loathing, whipping myself every time I looked down a girl's blouse. So whilst I'd rather they weren't, I wouldn't have a cow if my kids were given a "moderately observant" upbringing.

    It's tough to say "maybe because Catholics don't think that" - because it implies that you're saying all Catholics don't think that. That just isn't true, because if you actually follow and believe the teachings of the Church - presumably, that's what your Catholic schools want you to do - then you should be constantly worrying about sins. I mean, you do understand that Catholicism teaches that you will tortured in Hell forever and ever, for all eternity without end or a break, without any hope of salvation if you commit a mortal sin without repenting of it, right? That's some serious fucking shit. They basically tell you that if you do something bad, you are at serious risk of being thrown in a dark hole for the entirety of your existence (which, by the way, will never end) where you will be subject to torture and fire and pain for all time, forever, and you'll always be there - you'll never be allowed to leave. And you're at serious risk of this eternal damnation with every grave sin - masturbation, homosexuality, abortion, sloth, lust, pride, envy, etc etc etc etc.

    It is cruel to teach a child that.

    Just because you apparently did not take that threat seriously doesn't mean you ought to send your children to a school that will encourage that belief system, or raise them in an enviornment where that belief system will be taught. Because some kids, like myself, do take them seriously - and that can cause harm.

    As far as my post being a 'lecture' of what "real" Catholics believe, I was simply repeating the teachings of the Church. Look it up (links below). Hell and mortal sin are things taught to every child who goes into Sunday School, High School Youth Group, or adult who takes Adult RCIA, any college student who takes a Catholic studies class, or any kid who attends a Catholic elementary school.

    And here's my citation, straight from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Hell and mortal sin

    Yes, I'm aware of the idea of hell and mortal sin, or it wouldn't have been a very good religious school would it? Neither I nor any of the more religiously observant kids I grew up with fretted over the idea of sin any more than they did being caught running in the corridors. Your parents, teachers or whoever's duty it was to teach you this stuff obviously neglected to lecture you on Purgatory or the relevence of the New Testament vis-a-vis judgement and forgiveness. Sorry about that. But your concept of religion seems to be a mix of your own bad experiences and a Bill Maher rant.
    Underdog wrote: »
    Had you already purchased everything and arranged it all?

    Well, she had....

    I'm guessing he has, given that there is nothing in the old testament about hell.

    Scalfin on
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    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Melkster wrote: »
    I'm a little confused - you were certainly not taught that Purgatory or something in the New Testament made it so that an unrepentant mortal sin did not send someone to hell, right? Because that's just not Catholic teaching.

    Melkster why don't you make a religion thread and we can all tell you why your opinions are borderline insane there. This thread has been derailed enough.

    This totally reminds me of that joke site with the cutesy cartoon-comic written by an evangelical youth group leader, which grows increasingly dark and morbid as one of the characters begins to lose his faith until finally
    He rapes and murders all the other cartoon characters. The opening page of the comic was a newspaper posting of a youth minister going insane and killing himself or going on a murder spree or something. It's been a while.
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Underdog wrote: »
    Had you already purchased everything and arranged it all?

    Well, she had....

    That's pretty bad.

    What's worse was what somebody I know did: took the girl to prom, stayed cold and distant from her the entire time, confessed that he didn't love her anymore when they were alone at an after party, dumped her, and left her to cry with her friends (whose nights were also now ruined) to hang out with another girl.

    Fucking harsh.

    that's like, I don't even know what to call that. That's like something that would happen in a bad teen movie and all the decent kids would plot revenge for.

    Yeah sadly there's no such thing as justice in the world of dating.

    Although if this was one of those 80s teen movies I'd have slicked back black hair, a leather jacket, a truck full of jock friends and my dad would be the mayor.

    Hijinks ensue as our plucky heroes endeavour to treat me to my just desserts.

    Ed321 on
  • Mom2KatMom2Kat Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    First of all apologies for typos and spelling, formatting errors. I am typing this on a Blackberry at the beach. Also spoilers don't work on this phone, so warning its long!

    So my ex-boyfriend fell into the crazy ex catagory so firmly I think he may own it!

    So we met the year before on a band trip to Banff. The band teacher at my high school also taught at the high school the next town over and thought it would be awesome to take both bands on the yearly trip. Well my not yet BF/to be ex (Caley) ended up dating friend of mine during the trip and a few months after. But since it was a long (half hour drive) and we were in grade 10 we couldn't drive they broke up.

    A year after the trip my best friend and I had reconnected with him. I had the bright idea to invite him to a dance. Well of corse best friend and I both had crushes on him but decided to let him make his own choice. I was elated that it was me he spent the night cuddling.

    Well time goes on and we are quite the item. He was sweet and loving. However I also dicovered he had been banging aforementioned best friend while I ironed our cadet uniforms upstairs. I tossed a full tray of poppy pins at him when I found out. That was 6 months in.

    I kept him after that. Then came the call from his former ex that was friendly with me and her tale of why they broke up. Seems he confessed to her that "touched" a girl of 7 when he was 13. And well his ex had been abused as a small child by an uncle. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything. So he confesed to me that yes indeed it wass true and had happened 3 years ago. He was nearly done court mandated therapy and was listed extremly low risk to reofend (in canada no one is listed as no risk) I kept him, and infact he has never re offended.

    I also lost my virginity to him while he lied about it being his first time too, again I found our he diddled his ex from the ex. I kept him.

    He proposed to me a year after dating (grade 11) and I gave a tentative yes, in that if we were still together after high school of course I would.

    End of grade 12 we were each others dates to our respective grads. I moved 1 1/2 hous away but things were going good. Except the former ex and another friend had been telling me for months that on the grad band exchane he was screwing a girl from the coast. I kept him for 3 more months then he finaly admitted they weren't lying. Broke up with me the night he admitted it. And I missed the ass. 2 weeks before he was to move to be near the new girl friend we got together. We fucked like rabbits. He had not changed, I let him go.

    He is now twice divorced and his first ex wife is a manipulative harpy with a control streak. He has one son with each woman and is a tank mechanic in the canadian forces. And I still miss him at times.

    The coda to this story is that I met my ex-girlfriend because of him and she showed me what a truly good relationship with trust on both sides is like, ultimatly leading to my husband.

    EEEPPPP sorry so long

    TLDR: Ex was lying child molester and serial cheater, got his back from Karma and inadvertantly taught me important lessons.

    Mom2Kat on
  • Nakatomi2010Nakatomi2010 Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    First of all apologies for typos and spelling, formatting errors. I am typing this on a Blackberry at the beach. Also spoilers don't work on this phone, so warning its long!

    So my ex-boyfriend fell into the crazy ex catagory so firmly I think he may own it!

    So we met the year before on a band trip to Banff. The band teacher at my high school also taught at the high school the next town over and thought it would be awesome to take both bands on the yearly trip. Well my not yet BF/to be ex (Caley) ended up dating friend of mine during the trip and a few months after. But since it was a long (half hour drive) and we were in grade 10 we couldn't drive they broke up.

    A year after the trip my best friend and I had reconnected with him. I had the bright idea to invite him to a dance. Well of corse best friend and I both had crushes on him but decided to let him make his own choice. I was elated that it was me he spent the night cuddling.

    Well time goes on and we are quite the item. He was sweet and loving. However I also dicovered he had been banging aforementioned best friend while I ironed our cadet uniforms upstairs. I tossed a full tray of poppy pins at him when I found out. That was 6 months in.

    I kept him after that. Then came the call from his former ex that was friendly with me and her tale of why they broke up. Seems he confessed to her that "touched" a girl of 7 when he was 13. And well his ex had been abused as a small child by an uncle. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything. So he confesed to me that yes indeed it wass true and had happened 3 years ago. He was nearly done court mandated therapy and was listed extremly low risk to reofend (in canada no one is listed as no risk) I kept him, and infact he has never re offended.

    I also lost my virginity to him while he lied about it being his first time too, again I found our he diddled his ex from the ex. I kept him.

    He proposed to me a year after dating (grade 11) and I gave a tentative yes, in that if we were still together after high school of course I would.

    End of grade 12 we were each others dates to our respective grads. I moved 1 1/2 hous away but things were going good. Except the former ex and another friend had been telling me for months that on the grad band exchane he was screwing a girl from the coast. I kept him for 3 more months then he finaly admitted they weren't lying. Broke up with me the night he admitted it. And I missed the ass. 2 weeks before he was to move to be near the new girl friend we got together. We fucked like rabbits. He had not changed, I let him go.

    He is now twice divorced and his first ex wife is a manipulative harpy with a control streak. He has one son with each woman and is a tank mechanic in the canadian forces. And I still miss him at times.

    The coda to this story is that I met my ex-girlfriend because of him and she showed me what a truly good relationship with trust on both sides is like, ultimatly leading to my husband.

    EEEPPPP sorry so long

    TLDR: Ex was lying child molester and serial cheater, got his back from Karma and inadvertantly taught me important lessons.

    Scary part of this is that it's entirely possible this person knows my brother since he's also a mechanic in the Canadian military...

    Though I know it's not the same person since my brother went through high school in Florida...

    Still, small world....

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  • wenchkillawenchkilla Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ... I also dicovered he had been banging aforementioned best friend while I ironed our cadet uniforms upstairs.

    Oh...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ... "touched" a girl of 7 when he was 13.

    OH...

    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ...he lied about it being his first time too...

    OH...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    He proposed to me a year after dating (grade 11)...

    OH...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ... for months that on the grad band exchane he was screwing a girl from the coast....

    OH...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    He is now twice divorced and his first ex wife is a manipulative harpy with a control streak. He has one son with each woman ...

    BAM Karma! :lol:

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  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Bag of cocaine instead of prom story

    Wait, I've heard this story before I think in a Strange and Embarassing Moments thread. Still hilarious, but there was less notation last time. And I think you said something about buying a little bag and a big bag of cocaine or something.

    edit: Ah, here it is.

    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showpost.php?p=5847189&postcount=1057
    " For the money a prom would cost me I could get a hooker and a small bag of cocaine. Unless you have a large bag of cocaine I don't think this is going to happen." She was quiet for a moment so I took the oppurtunity to hang up.

    Double edit: Melkor, can't you just link to that Hijinks Ensue comic with the Hell House?

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  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Bag of cocaine instead of prom story

    Wait, I've heard this story before I think in a Strange and Embarassing Moments thread. Still hilarious, but there was less notation last time. And I think you said something about buying a little bag and a big bag of cocaine or something.

    edit: Ah, here it is.

    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showpost.php?p=5847189&postcount=1057
    " For the money a prom would cost me I could get a hooker and a small bag of cocaine. Unless you have a large bag of cocaine I don't think this is going to happen." She was quiet for a moment so I took the oppurtunity to hang up.

    Double edit: Melkor, can't you just link to that Hijinks Ensue comic with the Hell House?


    Yeah I posted it before. I didn't feel like digging up that one so I posted one I sent a friend of mine on OKC. I honestly don't remember exactly what I said anymore just that it involved cocaine. The events transcribed here are probably more accurate than in the other post.

    King Riptor on
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  • DracilDracil Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    wenchkilla wrote: »
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ... I also dicovered he had been banging aforementioned best friend while I ironed our cadet uniforms upstairs.

    Oh...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ... "touched" a girl of 7 when he was 13.

    OH...

    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ...he lied about it being his first time too...

    OH...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    He proposed to me a year after dating (grade 11)...

    OH...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    ... for months that on the grad band exchane he was screwing a girl from the coast....

    OH...
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    He is now twice divorced and his first ex wife is a manipulative harpy with a control streak. He has one son with each woman ...

    BAM Karma! :lol:

    Or idiocracy, given that he now has two offsprings with his genes. D:

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  • Mom2KatMom2Kat Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    nakatomi2010 - If your brother is stationed at CFB Edmonton he could very well know him, see if he knows a guy with the last name Heaver.

    Yeah well the military seems to have straightend him out some and his boys seem to be okay so far, both wives have custody of the kids so I fear for the child of the first but the second one is a nice woman and still friendly with him. ( I talk to him and his 2nd ex on occasion).

    Mom2Kat on
  • DemiurgeDemiurge Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Man you people, I've never had a solid relationship and in a way I'm glad. I'm so laid back I'd probably put up with any kind of crazy bar trying to kill me D:

    Demiurge on
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  • KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Prom stories...

    At my high school we had a separate junior and senior prom and only people in the correct grade can buy tickets, but they can buy tickets for anyone.

    My sophomore year I was the only sophomore in my chemistry class (3rd pd). About a week and a half before junior prom I am approached by two girls in the class that I know by name only. They ask me if I would be willing to go to junior prom with a guy we will call Matt. I have never met Matt but he does the morning loudspeaker announcements. They beg and plead b/c they promised they would find him a date before fourth period today and they haven't found anyone yet and all the other girls in the chemistry class are juniors and are already going with somebody else. I agree, prom sounds like fun... right? Besides most of my female friends are juniors and they are all going so I can hang out with them.

    First time I meet Matt is when he shows up at my door on prom night to pick me up. He tells me that we are going to dinner with a couple that are friends with him. We make some small talk on the way over to dinner and he is a nice guy and I start thinking this might end up being a really fun night. We show up to dinner and his friend, Evan, is a huge douchebag who was cheating on one of my good friends with the girl sitting next to him at dinner. We recognize each other on sight but apparently he didn't know my last name (I have a very common first name) so he agreed to go to dinner with Matt and I. That was the most uncomfortable dinner I have ever had. When it is over and we get in the car to go to prom Matt apologizes profusely and then tells me that he will be hanging out with Evan all night. So I dance with Matt once when we get to prom so he can prove he had a date and then I ditch him and hang out with my friends all night. One of them gives me a ride home.

    Junior year neither my bf nor I could drive yet so a mutual friend (who was a senior and not missing her own prom) dressed up as a butler and drove us around and we ended up convincing her to come to prom with us b/c the guy she had a huge crush would be there alone. I got dumped two days later.

    Senior year my date showed up drunk to pick me up. So in a prom dress and barefoot I drove stick for the first time over to a mutual friend's house who had offered to make us a fancy dinner. She was drunk off her ass and served us papa johns pizza and a "fancy salad" that consisted mostly of sun dried tomatoes and pine nuts. Then he ditched me at the (school sponsored) after party and I had to call my mom at 4am to come get me.

    tldr: my prom experiences were generally entertaining but not fairytale in any way

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  • SkannerJATSkannerJAT Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    The chick involved here never actually was a girlfriend, was just a nutters girl.

    I went out with this girl once and even then I only went as I was under the idea that we were going to be hanging out with friends. It turned into her and I going to a movie and dinner with just the two of us. Afterwards she constantly bothered me to "hang out" at her place, with all the appropriate under-tones. I explained I did not dig her in that way and she seemed fine.

    Fastforward a few weeks. I talked to her sparingly in group settings and a little online. She comes to a party at my buddies new apartment. Somehow I fond myself being yelled at a couple hours later. We were both throughly drunk and she pulls me outside... on the balcony..... with a HUGE open window to talk in private. She goes on saying she needs a commitment out of me and I should stop leading her on. Everyone inside is just staring, watching her flip the fuck out. Im wasted and severly confused. I tried to save her embarassment and quietly explained that maybe we could talk about it later. What "it" was I had no clue but I tried to placate the woman.

    She passed out later that night, woke up to proclaim that I am an utter ass to all of MY good friends, and left. Never to be seen again.

    SkannerJAT on
  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I don't really have any problems with the Catholic faith (well, aside from the Vatican's politics anyway), and appreciate that people have complicated, individual reasons for being religious. I'd never want to force my girlfriend to change her belief system.

    The big problem is that her beliefs and mine—even in their "moderate" forms—engender pretty strong feelings when it comes to children. I don't want my kids brought up in any religion. I want them brought up in the morals we both believe, and taught the ideals we want them taught. When they're old enough, they can decide for themselves whether or not they want to enter into any particular religion (and at that point I'd want to expose them to many different religions, so that they can follow the creed that truly speaks to them). She, on the other hand, thinks that morals and religion go hand in hand, and that it's her moral responsibility to make sure her children are raised Catholic (she's said as much in conversations we've had on the topic). That bothers me, because while plenty of Catholics turn out OK and get positive experiences from their faith, plenty don't. I want religion to be a choice, not an imperative—not the sort of thing where my kid will say "it's the only thing I've ever known since birth, I couldn't ever believe anything else, you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Not to insult celandine, but it's exactly her kind of beliefs that I fear— the sort of religiosity so deeply ingrained that it actually becomes mentally painful and morally challenging to seriously consider other worldviews.

    It's a problem that's a long way off—neither of us plans on getting married or having kids in the next 5 years—but I can already tell that it's going to be a pretty nasty issue when it pops up.

    It will be a nasty issue. My wife and I divorced over it. If you can not get it clear before you get married, and you want kids, it will not end well.

    DoctorArch on
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  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Archgarth wrote: »
    I don't really have any problems with the Catholic faith (well, aside from the Vatican's politics anyway), and appreciate that people have complicated, individual reasons for being religious. I'd never want to force my girlfriend to change her belief system.

    The big problem is that her beliefs and mine—even in their "moderate" forms—engender pretty strong feelings when it comes to children. I don't want my kids brought up in any religion. I want them brought up in the morals we both believe, and taught the ideals we want them taught. When they're old enough, they can decide for themselves whether or not they want to enter into any particular religion (and at that point I'd want to expose them to many different religions, so that they can follow the creed that truly speaks to them). She, on the other hand, thinks that morals and religion go hand in hand, and that it's her moral responsibility to make sure her children are raised Catholic (she's said as much in conversations we've had on the topic). That bothers me, because while plenty of Catholics turn out OK and get positive experiences from their faith, plenty don't. I want religion to be a choice, not an imperative—not the sort of thing where my kid will say "it's the only thing I've ever known since birth, I couldn't ever believe anything else, you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Not to insult celandine, but it's exactly her kind of beliefs that I fear— the sort of religiosity so deeply ingrained that it actually becomes mentally painful and morally challenging to seriously consider other worldviews.

    It's a problem that's a long way off—neither of us plans on getting married or having kids in the next 5 years—but I can already tell that it's going to be a pretty nasty issue when it pops up.

    It will be a nasty issue. My wife and I divorced over it. If you can not get it clear before you get married, and you want kids, it will not end well.

    Goddamn.

    Ed321 on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Quick story, and no, this isn't insanely depressing like the last one.

    Went out on a few dates with a Filipino girl. She was about 4'9" and had a face like a 12-year-old, even at 26. (Fortunately she had significant curves so I didn't feel like a pedophile.)

    Now imagine that young-looking, angelic face passionately, gleefully and very seriously saying to me during a make-out session: "I want to bite you so hard you bleed!"

    And then I ran.
    PM me her phone number. Just kidding. [tiny](Not really.)[/tiny]
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    Highlights include being forced to lick her shoes and being held in a headlock for 20 minutes.
    Youtube Bas Rutten.

    Also, I've paid good money to be forced to lick a woman's shoes. [tiny](Not really.)[/tiny]
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    -sniffs my junk to make sure I haven't been with another woman
    I imagine myself turning around and farting so that she can make sure that I had breakfast burritos.

    GungHo on
  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    Personally, I don't see a problem with a parent taking children to church and then allowing them to make their own choice about it once they're old enough.

    Sheep on
  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Gonmun wrote: »
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Where's the pornstar boob story?

    I tried searching for it, now I will have all these weird keywords in my "search this thread" history.

    Hell, I just searched for Alyce and managed to get close and just scrolled up a few posts to find it. :P

    Speaking of which I just remembered I once actually rolled my girlfriend out of her own bed, causing her to hit her head really hard on the floor.

    Though that was an accident 'cause I was asleep at the time.

    Also she had a really heavy head.

    You monster.

    Honestly, she had a huge head, or at least that's how it appeared in photos. I didn't really notice until she started cutting her hair shorter.

    That's not why I left her or anything though.

    Should've said, "Sometimes I wish you had less head."

    Fix'd

    Edit:
    Ohhh dear that's a bit of a gravedig

    X Pr3dat0R X on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Archgarth wrote: »
    I don't really have any problems with the Catholic faith (well, aside from the Vatican's politics anyway), and appreciate that people have complicated, individual reasons for being religious. I'd never want to force my girlfriend to change her belief system.

    The big problem is that her beliefs and mine—even in their "moderate" forms—engender pretty strong feelings when it comes to children. I don't want my kids brought up in any religion. I want them brought up in the morals we both believe, and taught the ideals we want them taught. When they're old enough, they can decide for themselves whether or not they want to enter into any particular religion (and at that point I'd want to expose them to many different religions, so that they can follow the creed that truly speaks to them). She, on the other hand, thinks that morals and religion go hand in hand, and that it's her moral responsibility to make sure her children are raised Catholic (she's said as much in conversations we've had on the topic). That bothers me, because while plenty of Catholics turn out OK and get positive experiences from their faith, plenty don't. I want religion to be a choice, not an imperative—not the sort of thing where my kid will say "it's the only thing I've ever known since birth, I couldn't ever believe anything else, you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Not to insult celandine, but it's exactly her kind of beliefs that I fear— the sort of religiosity so deeply ingrained that it actually becomes mentally painful and morally challenging to seriously consider other worldviews.

    It's a problem that's a long way off—neither of us plans on getting married or having kids in the next 5 years—but I can already tell that it's going to be a pretty nasty issue when it pops up.

    It will be a nasty issue. My wife and I divorced over it. If you can not get it clear before you get married, and you want kids, it will not end well.

    It's not all doom and gloom. The key word is communication. I'm marrying a churchgoing but not-devout Catholic in less than a month, and we've had the kids conversation. It turns out that there are many Catholics who have married non-Catholics, and through discussion, respect and compromise, they can raise happy families together. The Catholic church where we're having our ceremony even has a "so you're marrying a non-Catholic" pamphlet amongst all the marriage materials, and somehow it doesn't condemn non-Catholics to hell automatically. It just advocates a willingness to be open to your partner's beliefs.

    In our case, we're going to take our future children to her church one Sunday and my church (Unitarian Universalist) the next. Heck, we're even planning on baptizing them at both (well, the UU "baptism" is more a commitment ceremony, but same difference). So it can be done.

    But again, we made sure to talk about it before we got engaged to make absolutely sure we could make it work.

    cloudeagle on
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  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nuns did it for me. I'm not 100% against my future wife taking my kids to church, because I can recognize the good it's done to me, but I'm not sure how I feel about any kids I have being completely dedicated and/or defined by their religion.

    Malkor on
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  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Mom2Kat wrote: »
    He was nearly done court mandated therapy and was listed extremly low risk to reofend (in canada no one is listed as no risk) I kept him, and infact he has never re offended.

    That made me giggle. Sorry.

    X Pr3dat0R X on
  • Penguin_OtakuPenguin_Otaku Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Sheep wrote: »
    Personally, I don't see a problem with a parent taking children to church and then allowing them to make their own choice about it once they're old enough.


    This is what happened with me. I feel my faith is a lot stronger for having not been forced into it.

    I still believed and everything, just don't go to church all that often. I don't see it as necessary.

    Penguin_Otaku on
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  • celandinecelandine Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My 0.02 on the Catholicism debate, especially the Ed/Melkster spat:

    Some kids will take religious teaching "harder" than others. In the same Sunday school, one kid will get really stressed out over his own sinfulness, while another will just learn the prayers and not take it too personally. (I'm not Catholic, but I was definitely one to take religion personally and worry about it; my sister wasn't.) Whether it's damaging depends on the type of religious instruction, but also on the kid. Sometimes the worrying kid grows up to be an adult who's constructively preoccupied with religious/philosophical issues (say, Simone Weil.)

    There really does seem to be a range between "valuable to me to this day," "dull but no problem," "made me miserable at the time, but I'm fine now" and "abuse that made it difficult for me to lead a normal life." The last is an absolute no-no, of course, but the first three also exist.

    celandine on
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  • MT_MaxMT_Max MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    celandine wrote: »
    My 0.02 on the Catholicism debate, especially the Ed/Melkster spat:

    Some kids will take religious teaching "harder" than others. Whether it's damaging depends on the type of religious instruction, but also on the kid. Sometimes the worrying kid grows up to be an adult who's constructively preoccupied with religious/philosophical issues (say, Simone Weil.)
    o_O
    "abuse that made it difficult for me to lead a normal life." The last is an absolute no-no, of course, but the first three also exist.

    Like taking Father Smedley's cock in the ass on a weekly basis kind of abuse? Yea that'd be a no-no alright.

    MT_Max on
  • WulfWulf Disciple of Tzeentch The Void... (New Jersey)Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Well, hasn't this be existential! Have we really run out of crazies?

    Wulf on
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  • celandinecelandine Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Yeah...
    or denying a kid a quality education, restricting access to books that contradict a religion, trying to isolate him from the outside world -- you know, bad stuff. Truly stunting the capacity for independent thought.
    The bad stuff happens. Physical and emotional abuse happens. Often in the context of religion. Your garden-variety Sunday school is not in that category, most of the time.

    celandine on
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  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Speaking of religion, I once started dating a girl I met through my Unitarian church. She was tall, striking and fun, or at least it seemed at first. She was going through a lot of stress when we first got together (graduating college, moving, living with a mentally unstable relative, trying to find a job, etc.), so she sometimes felt down and needed extra support. I was happy to give it to her, but as the months passed by, she kept getting down and kept needing reassurance on a daily basis. It turns out she was very depressive and pessimistic by nature, not by the things that were happening around her. I just couldn't give her the energy to keep going on a daily basis... it was just too draining.

    On top of that, her severe pessimism caused her to often be a pre-emptive jerk. By which I mean she automatically assumed that her feelings of doom were correct, that person X really didn't like her, and so she was rude to them. Naturally, more often than not the random person didn't dislike her or even liked her, so having my ex be rude and snippy came as a big surprise. When person X reacted to the pre-emptive jerkiness by avoiding her, that just fed into her pessimism.

    That's not the crazy part. That's just background for the sexual hy-jinx.
    By her choice, we went several months without having sex. She wasn't a virgin, she just wanted to wait. That's fine, I went along with it and was respectful even though I tried to subtly give her vibes that I was really into her that way. She talked about having sex. She wanted to. We even got condoms one night before she backed out at the last minute.

    One night, we finally decide to do the deed. Make-outs are had, the excitement grows, my pants come off... and then suddenly she jumps backwards as if my shorts were filled with spiders. She is literally TERRIFIED of my penis. She just swears up and down that it's far too big compared to her last boyfriend and that I'll hurt her. I'm gifted shall we say, but I'm nowhere near a freak of nature and I've never hurt anyone with it. Not to mention my ex was well within normal within her panties. It's all in her head, and her ex must have been hung like a gerbil. But her fear is absolutely crippling, not to mention a mood-killer. Yet she still wants sex.

    So began three our four months of improvised sex therapy. Nights where she just held me. Nights where our bare crotches just laid on top of each other. Nights where I barely pushed into her a centimeter. Nights where I entered her and then stayed in there, unmoving. All the while I was constantly reassuring her that I'm being gentle, that we are physically compatible, that things don't have to work. We gradually inch forward, and just when we're finally able to have something resembling real sex... she "conveniently" comes down with a urinary tract infection. That kept her from having sex. For over a month.

    To be fair, I suspect she was abused sexually as a child based on the vaguest of hints that she dropped, which I'm sure could cause issues. But still, goddamn. For over half a year my balls and entire boxer area were solid cobalt.

    tl;dr: Partner's feelings of doom wind up dooming our relationship, not to mention happy fun sexy time.

    cloudeagle on
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  • NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I got one. This is a tale of monumental stupidity on everyone's part.

    So, when I was...21 maybe, I was in love. DAAAAWWWWWWW. It was a girl I'd met while I was visiting some friends out of state. We met, got off to a good start. First girl to ever give me those lovey googly eyes you get when someone is falling for you hard.

    But nothing happens then. We just kinda took an interest and didn't talk about it. We played a lot of online games together after that point. This girl was crazy shy. And she also was a bit schizoid about certain things. Not religious at all, but she did seem to inherently think that sex and alcohol were wrong or dirty. Hard to really describe since I'm a horribly obscene person, and any interest she may have shown in sex may have just been her reflecting my own adolescent enthusiasm for it.

    At some point along the road, we started a relationship, in so far as you can when you've met a person once and then mostly talked or played games on the internet. I make plans to visit her between semesters during Christmas. I tell my parents, my mom flips her shit, but accepts that I'm in love (DAAAAAAAWWWWW) and comes to terms with me spending Christmas with another family.

    Except I don't. This girl doesn't even tell her parents about me. She decides she needs to hide me from her brother since he's also home for the holidays and she doesn't want to be affectionate with me around him. Like at all. Like she doesn't know me if he's in the room. I actually stayed with the same mutual friends I stayed with the first time around.

    And then, there was the whole thing about us planning on losing our virginities to one another. Because we were both about 21-ish and thinking we were about due. Yeeeaaaaah. This went as horribly as you can imagine. Me with months and months of "FUCK YEAH, FINALLY HAVING SEX" pent up, and her, well, regretting ever having gotten that far.

    It never happened in fact.

    The relationship was on life support for a few months after that and finally, thankfully, ended when she basically just decided she didn't love me anymore, and the fact that I still loved her annoyed the SHIT out of her.

    This after I'd already bought non-refundable plane tickets to come see her and try to patch things up. It was also her birthday so I'd gone all out with her friends to put together a new computer for her. I spent about $600 on it myself with her friends chipping in parts. These plans were made before we'd broken up. I also put it all together, got it up and running, and installed all her favorite games for it. When we gave it to her she completely ignored me while fawning over her friends.

    In retrospect, what the fuck was I thinking? I knew the relationship was on its last legs, hell, it'd probably been over long before she finally told me it was. It was a fool errand flying out there again, or spending all that money on her birthday. Ah to be young, foolish and inexperienced.

    Namrok on
  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    By her choice, we went several months without having sex. She wasn't a virgin, she just wanted to wait. That's fine, I went along with it and was respectful even though I tried to subtly give her vibes that I was really into her that way. She talked about having sex. She wanted to. We even got condoms one night before she backed out at the last minute.

    One night, we finally decide to do the deed. Make-outs are had, the excitement grows, my pants come off... and then suddenly she jumps backwards as if my shorts were filled with spiders. She is literally TERRIFIED of my penis. She just swears up and down that it's far too big compared to her last boyfriend and that I'll hurt her. I'm gifted shall we say, but I'm nowhere near a freak of nature and I've never hurt anyone with it. Not to mention my ex was well within normal within her panties. It's all in her head, and her ex must have been hung like a gerbil. But her fear is absolutely crippling, not to mention a mood-killer. Yet she still wants sex.

    So began three our four months of improvised sex therapy. Nights where she just held me. Nights where our bare crotches just laid on top of each other. Nights where I barely pushed into her a centimeter. Nights where I entered her and then stayed in there, unmoving. All the while I was constantly reassuring her that I'm being gentle, that we are physically compatible, that things don't have to work. We gradually inch forward, and just when we're finally able to have something resembling real sex... she "conveniently" comes down with a urinary tract infection. That kept her from having sex. For over a month.

    To be fair, I suspect she was abused sexually as a child based on the vaguest of hints that she dropped, which I'm sure could cause issues. But still, goddamn. For over half a year my balls and entire boxer area were solid cobalt.

    tl;dr: Partner's feelings of doom wind up dooming our relationship, not to mention happy fun sexy time.

    eagle you have been wanting to tell that story for ages, havn't you?

    Ed321 on
  • MelksterMelkster Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    celandine wrote: »
    My 0.02 on the Catholicism debate, especially the Ed/Melkster spat:

    Some kids will take religious teaching "harder" than others. In the same Sunday school, one kid will get really stressed out over his own sinfulness, while another will just learn the prayers and not take it too personally. (I'm not Catholic, but I was definitely one to take religion personally and worry about it; my sister wasn't.) Whether it's damaging depends on the type of religious instruction, but also on the kid. Sometimes the worrying kid grows up to be an adult who's constructively preoccupied with religious/philosophical issues (say, Simone Weil.)

    There really does seem to be a range between "valuable to me to this day," "dull but no problem," "made me miserable at the time, but I'm fine now" and "abuse that made it difficult for me to lead a normal life." The last is an absolute no-no, of course, but the first three also exist.

    Yes, exactly. That's what I was trying to say. I was definitely the kind of kid who took everything my authority figures told me quite seriously. I believed what they said. So, I took the religion quite seriously.
    celandine wrote: »
    denying a kid ... access to books that contradict a religion, trying to isolate him from the outside world -- you know, bad stuff. Truly stunting the capacity for independent thought.
    The bad stuff happens. Physical and emotional abuse happens. Often in the context of religion. Your garden-variety Sunday school is not in that category, most of the time.

    Yeah, that's what happened to me my sophomore year of High School after my Catholic parents found a post made by me on an internet forum (not this one, it was back in 2001) about coming out to a friend as both gay and an atheist. Parents allowed me no internet, was restricted access to friends, no telephone for about a year, plus mandatory Youth Group attendance. For my junior and senior years, all my activity on the internet was very restricted (e.g., every website was blocked besides a pre-approved Pro-Catholic list). But by that point I didn't care, because I believed everything they told me.

    That was the "abuse." I had little choice but to believe the crap I was fed, and it took years for me to break free of it again. Not that it was all their fault, maybe I should have been stronger or smarter or rebelled against them or something. But I didn't. You guys were probably stronger than me as a child.

    Melkster on
  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Melkster wrote: »
    celandine wrote: »
    My 0.02 on the Catholicism debate, especially the Ed/Melkster spat:

    Some kids will take religious teaching "harder" than others. In the same Sunday school, one kid will get really stressed out over his own sinfulness, while another will just learn the prayers and not take it too personally. (I'm not Catholic, but I was definitely one to take religion personally and worry about it; my sister wasn't.) Whether it's damaging depends on the type of religious instruction, but also on the kid. Sometimes the worrying kid grows up to be an adult who's constructively preoccupied with religious/philosophical issues (say, Simone Weil.)

    There really does seem to be a range between "valuable to me to this day," "dull but no problem," "made me miserable at the time, but I'm fine now" and "abuse that made it difficult for me to lead a normal life." The last is an absolute no-no, of course, but the first three also exist.

    Yes, exactly. That's what I was trying to say. I was definitely the kind of kid who took everything my authority figures told me quite seriously. I believed what they said. So, I took the religion quite seriously.
    celandine wrote: »
    denying a kid ... access to books that contradict a religion, trying to isolate him from the outside world -- you know, bad stuff. Truly stunting the capacity for independent thought.
    The bad stuff happens. Physical and emotional abuse happens. Often in the context of religion. Your garden-variety Sunday school is not in that category, most of the time.

    Yeah, that's what happened to me my sophomore year of High School after my Catholic parents found a post made by me on an internet forum (not this one, it was back in 2001) about coming out to a friend as both gay and an atheist. Parents allowed me no internet, was restricted access to friends, no telephone for about a year, plus mandatory Youth Group attendance. For my junior and senior years, all my activity on the internet was very restricted (e.g., every website was blocked besides a pre-approved Pro-Catholic list). But by that point I didn't care, because I believed everything they told me.

    That was the "abuse." I had little choice but to believe the crap I was fed, and it took years for me to break free of it again. Not that it was all their fault, maybe I should have been stronger or smarter or rebelled against them or something. But I didn't. You guys were probably stronger than me as a child.


    Woah woah woah, if all you've been saying is "well moderate stuff is acceptable but extremism is bad for kids" there would've been no point in your taking issue with original reply to my post, because I'd already said that stuff the page before and was replying to chopper dave:
    The only thing I'm worried about is if we ever get married and have kids. There's no fucking way I'm having a Catholic ceremony—my parents are Jews, and I think it's all a bunch of nonsense anyway—and she's pretty adamant on raising her kids Catholic. Why the fuck would I want my kids beating themselves up over every little thing the church defines as a sin, or believing in a system that tells them that they're filthy creatures who need to be saved? No disrespect to the girlfriend or any Catholics on the board, but I'd want my kids to have the choice before entering into such a potentially-masochistic belief system.

    I.e. the very fact she wanted her kids raised Catholic was unnacceptable to him, which I took issue with but added:
    Also where do you live Chopper? Because I can understand your position on this if your definition of "moderate" is by a different set of standards.

    Then you launched into a lecture on how Catholic teachings are inherently cruel to children. I don't want to argue that particular point now, but it's completely different to "extremism is bad m'kay", which is what you claim you were saying all along. If you'd really been saying what you're saying now we never would've had this argument.

    Ed321 on
  • MelksterMelkster Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Melkster wrote: »
    celandine wrote: »
    My 0.02 on the Catholicism debate, especially the Ed/Melkster spat:

    Some kids will take religious teaching "harder" than others. In the same Sunday school, one kid will get really stressed out over his own sinfulness, while another will just learn the prayers and not take it too personally. (I'm not Catholic, but I was definitely one to take religion personally and worry about it; my sister wasn't.) Whether it's damaging depends on the type of religious instruction, but also on the kid. Sometimes the worrying kid grows up to be an adult who's constructively preoccupied with religious/philosophical issues (say, Simone Weil.)

    There really does seem to be a range between "valuable to me to this day," "dull but no problem," "made me miserable at the time, but I'm fine now" and "abuse that made it difficult for me to lead a normal life." The last is an absolute no-no, of course, but the first three also exist.

    Yes, exactly. That's what I was trying to say. I was definitely the kind of kid who took everything my authority figures told me quite seriously. I believed what they said. So, I took the religion quite seriously.
    celandine wrote: »
    denying a kid ... access to books that contradict a religion, trying to isolate him from the outside world -- you know, bad stuff. Truly stunting the capacity for independent thought.
    The bad stuff happens. Physical and emotional abuse happens. Often in the context of religion. Your garden-variety Sunday school is not in that category, most of the time.

    Yeah, that's what happened to me my sophomore year of High School after my Catholic parents found a post made by me on an internet forum (not this one, it was back in 2001) about coming out to a friend as both gay and an atheist. Parents allowed me no internet, was restricted access to friends, no telephone for about a year, plus mandatory Youth Group attendance. For my junior and senior years, all my activity on the internet was very restricted (e.g., every website was blocked besides a pre-approved Pro-Catholic list). But by that point I didn't care, because I believed everything they told me.

    That was the "abuse." I had little choice but to believe the crap I was fed, and it took years for me to break free of it again. Not that it was all their fault, maybe I should have been stronger or smarter or rebelled against them or something. But I didn't. You guys were probably stronger than me as a child.


    Woah woah woah, if all you've been saying is "well moderate stuff is acceptable but extremism is bad for kids" there would've been no point in your taking issue with original reply to my post, because I'd already said that stuff the page before and was replying to chopper dave:

    I never said that, and I don't believe it. Teaching children to believe in mortal sin and hell is cruel because a certain percentage of kids will actually believe you and take it seriously.

    (Unless, of course, it's actually true, in which case, yeah, you should teach them what's true, and they should [appropriately] be worried about it.)

    Where did I say that "moderate stuff is acceptable?" =x

    Melkster on
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