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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories

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Posts

  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Cokebotle wrote: »
    So, does having a girlfriend who is annoyed by the act of squatting so much so that she will run down an aisle and slide tackle you so you will no longer be squatting count? Like, "squat down to look at something on the bottom shelf" sort of thing.

    I assume she's Japanese( as in nationality) and you're not?

    I would guess that's because of the old fashioned toilets they have. Which I guess would be considered embarrassing mimic.'
    Nope, not at all. People squat in Japan all the time.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Cokebotle wrote: »
    Cokebotle wrote: »
    Cokebotle wrote: »
    So, does having a girlfriend who is annoyed by the act of squatting so much so that she will run down an aisle and slide tackle you so you will no longer be squatting count? Like, "squat down to look at something on the bottom shelf" sort of thing.

    I assume she's Japanese( as in nationality) and you're not?

    I would guess that's because of the old fashioned toilets they have. Which I guess would be considered embarrassing mimic.'

    Good guess, but no. She's Taiwanese, and grew up in Australia from when she was a baby.

    Well Aussies don't squat in general what with all the snakes and spiders that had evolved to kill Steve Irwin

    Australia is the only country that scares me to visit. I wanna go someday, but seriously. What the fuck?!

    I believe Australia has the highest ratio of poisonous/venomous plants, animals and insects to people on Earth.

    Canada, not so much, but the way one girlfriend lost her shit when she walked into a spider web while we were at the cottage, you'd have thought she had been jumped by a hundred deadly arachnids. Took me rushing her to the street (away from all trees and overhangs) and about ten minutes to calm her down.

    And that was the first time I got to deal with a powerful phobic response. Felt I handled things pretty well at 16, but wow, she went from calm and pleasant to utterly freaking out in about a second flat.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I'm amazed at how common spiderphobic reactions are among some people. I've got a job where we have to work in the woods and as a result we're literally walking through spider webs all the time. Somehow, this bothers people more than the fact that we're also in areas that have poisonous snakes like rattlesnakes and copperheads. Several of the people I work with say they would much rather deal with the snakes than the spiders.

    I mean, seriously? More afraid of a tiny non-poisonous spider (I guess there's a few poisonous spiders out there, especially brown recluses, but they don't build webs or go in most places where we work IIANM) than a four-foot rattlesnake with a bad attitude? If a spider gets on you all you have to do is just brush it off. Don't get me wrong, I don't really like them and it's never fun getting a big mouthful of web while you're trucking through the woods but it sure beats having a rattlesnake strike at you from the middle of nowhere. I know everybody has their phobias but I really don't get it.

    Not a crazy ex story, but still, this just mystifies me.

    Duffel on
  • CrownAxeCrownAxe Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Cokebotle wrote: »
    So, does having a girlfriend who is annoyed by the act of squatting so much so that she will run down an aisle and slide tackle you so you will no longer be squatting count? Like, "squat down to look at something on the bottom shelf" sort of thing.

    I assume she's Japanese( as in nationality) and you're not?

    I would guess that's because of the old fashioned toilets they have. Which I guess would be considered embarrassing mimic.'
    Nope, not at all. People squat in Japan all the time.

    Its probably because it's associated with going to the bathroom that it's embarrassing (just a guess)

    CrownAxe on
    AwesomeSig.jpg
  • CokebotleCokebotle 穴掘りの Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    People in Japan squat waiting for things all the time. Even schoolgirls, wearing skirts. Like, middle school girls. It's really odd, and vaguely disturbing.

    My gf says it's related to something her parents said about it being rude or something while she was growing up, but I'm still confused as to how "rude" equates with "shove the person over".

    Cokebotle on
    工事中
  • NostregarNostregar Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    I'm amazed at how common spiderphobic reactions are among some people. I've got a job where we have to work in the woods and as a result we're literally walking through spider webs all the time. Somehow, this bothers people more than the fact that we're also in areas that have poisonous snakes like rattlesnakes and copperheads. Several of the people I work with say they would much rather deal with the snakes than the spiders.

    I mean, seriously? More afraid of a tiny non-poisonous spider (I guess there's a few poisonous spiders out there, especially brown recluses, but they don't build webs or go in most places where we work IIANM) than a four-foot rattlesnake with a bad attitude? If a spider gets on you all you have to do is just brush it off. Don't get me wrong, I don't really like them and it's never fun getting a big mouthful of web while you're trucking through the woods but it sure beats having a rattlesnake strike at you from the middle of nowhere. I know everybody has their phobias but I really don't get it.

    Not a crazy ex story, but still, this just mystifies me.


    The answer is : Spiders are creepy as shit.

    Nostregar on
    Nostregar wrote: »
    I think that an entire religious debate done in haiku would be genuinely enjoyable.
    You say there is God
    I see only the fleshmeat
    Prove your space daddy
  • DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nostregar wrote: »
    The answer is : Spiders are creepy as shit.
    And snakes aren't?

    Duffel on
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    Nostregar wrote: »
    The answer is : Spiders are creepy as shit.
    And snakes aren't?

    Snakes get a bad rap. Most myths about them are false based on biblical passages. Snakes are also not fond of humans and stay away.


    Spiders though ? Everything about them screams death machine. Another bonus?

    You are as I type this three feet or less from at least one spider. They have made it into space.


    But I am wandering off topic and will regale you with more about nude pic girl.

    So I told her hell or high water I will definitely be up at her place Wednesday to take her to lunch.
    So far she's accepted. While I'm up there I'm getting the whole story on why she doesn't want people to know I post on her myspace page.

    King Riptor on
    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Duffel wrote: »
    Nostregar wrote: »
    The answer is : Spiders are creepy as shit.
    And snakes aren't?

    Neither of them are. You pussies.

    chasm on
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  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Apparently it's a very Chinese/old country thing to do, squatting.

    cooljammer00 on
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  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I dated a girl who was so arachnaphobic it bordered on crazy. She once called me at 7 a.m. to come over to her apartment and kill a spider in her bathroom doorway.

    Otherwise she couldn't relieve herself, you see.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
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    do you lack faith, brother?
    or do you believe?
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    spidershower.jpg

    chasm on
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  • TicaldfjamTicaldfjam Hillsboro, ORRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    When it comes down to it, Fuck snakes. Fuck them in their filthy assess!!! There is a reason why I refused to see "Snakes on a Plane".

    Ticaldfjam on
  • NorfairNorfair Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I like how this thread can go from a serious discussion about psych meds to a discussion of squatting, spiders, and snakes in just a couple of pages. Thread delivers! :^:

    Norfair on
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Apparently it's a very Chinese/old country thing to do, squatting.

    Yeah.

    I think it looks really dumb. I don't think wealthy people in China squat like, ever. Unless it's over a toilet.

    Loren Michael on
    2ezikn6.jpg
  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    DO NOT CLICK THIS SPOILER IF YOU ARE ARACHNOPHOBIC
    chasm wrote: »
    spidershower.jpg

    I am going to kill you

    So

    Hard

    Salvation122 on
    sig.png
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Oh: Not crazy, per se, but I had an ex that was terrified of the prospect of people hearing her deal with her toilet business. Whenever I was at her apartment and she had to use the toilet, she'd turn her stereo way up and make me sit on the far side of her room, away from the bathroom door.

    I actually completely empathize with her and find sounds emanating from a bathroom to be extremely undignified. So, she's not crazy.

    Loren Michael on
    2ezikn6.jpg
  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    my girlfriend turns on the sink when she uses the bathroom
    if i want to piss her off i yell "I CAN HEAR YOU PEEING"

    Local H Jay on
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  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    my girlfriend turns on the sink when she uses the bathroom
    if i want to piss her off i yell "I CAN HEAR YOU PEEING"

    I never understood how someone whose vagina is seen constantly by another person is embarrassed when they have to piss and that person is in the other room

    King Riptor on
    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Never been too scared of spiders, and I've been on a snake handling course so they don't bother me too much either.

    But these things?
    P1300003.jpg

    When they're annoyed at you, you better run o_O They eat damn near everything so you can imagine what kind of wonderful bateria is just waiting to wade into your bloodstream if it bites you.


    *back on topic*

    A good sign your new room mates girlfriend is crazy? She comes into your room, uninvited, and flirts with you while lying on your bed after having sex with said housemate.

    I'm glad she didn't hang around for very long.

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    Loren Michael on
    2ezikn6.jpg
  • PasserbyePasserbye I am much older than you. in Beach CityRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Oh: Not crazy, per se, but I had an ex that was terrified of the prospect of people hearing her deal with her toilet business. Whenever I was at her apartment and she had to use the toilet, she'd turn her stereo way up and make me sit on the far side of her room, away from the bathroom door.

    I actually completely empathize with her and find sounds emanating from a bathroom to be extremely undignified. So, she's not crazy.

    I've never understood being embarrassed by bodily functions, up to and including throwing up in public (ie - terrible food poisoning, which happened to a friend of mine). They're something everyone does whether they want to or not. To me that's like being embarrassed about drinking water or eating popcorn.

    I think I'd be more embarrassed by people finding out the stupid/immoral things I've consciously done.

    Passerbye on
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I have somewhat Victorian sensibilities, speaking for myself, and am overly concerned about things like dignity and face. The girl in that story fetishized Audrey Hepburn for her classical beauty (gave her a run for her money, too!)

    Loren Michael on
    2ezikn6.jpg
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I have somewhat Victorian sensibilities, speaking for myself, and am overly concerned about things like dignity and face. The girl in that story fetishized Audrey Hepburn for her classical beauty (gave her a run for her money, too!)

    I'd be able to over-look anything if that were the case.

    I'd probably even flush for her.

    I idolize Audrey you see.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • TicaldfjamTicaldfjam Hillsboro, ORRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    I have somewhat Victorian sensibilities, speaking for myself, and am overly concerned about things like dignity and face. The girl in that story fetishized Audrey Hepburn for her classical beauty (gave her a run for her money, too!)

    I'd be able to over-look anything if that were the case.

    I'd probably even flush for her.

    I idolize Audrey you see.

    Hey, NO CUTTING!! Get in line son!

    Ticaldfjam on
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Passerbye wrote: »
    [I think I'd be more embarrassed by people finding out the stupid/immoral things I've consciously done.
    I find vomiting humiliating because it represents a total loss of bodily control. Also, it stinks and is really messy, and all around sucks.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It feels kind of like pooping in public. I don't want people to see that. Yes, I know one is more voluntary than the other, but it's still embarrassing that you weren't able to make it to a private place to perform that function.

    joshofalltrades on
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    青!
  • HeirHeir Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Yeah I have a hard time pooping in public or at someone's place if I know they might be able to hear me.

    Usually I bring my earbuds with me and listen to music on my iphone...it seems to distract me. :)

    Also, Spiders...screw those guys. Ugh.

    Heir on
    camo_sig2.png
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    This is actually the craziest story I've read, thus far, in this thread. One month?! Didn't she get the memo? Pooping in front of your SO is like a month six or eight activity, not during or shortly after the first month. Bitch be crazy.

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • HeirHeir Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    This is actually the craziest story I've read, thus far, in this thread. One month?! Didn't she get the memo? Pooping in front of your SO is like a month six or eight activity, not during or shortly after the first month. Bitch be crazy.

    Man that's practically married territory there.

    Heir on
    camo_sig2.png
  • NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My ex once crapped a little and menstruated on my floor. At the same time. Talk about letting yourself go. She cleaned it up, but seriously. On the floor? I don't even know what the fuck she was doing, I was distracted by checking my email, and the next thing I hear is "Oh shit".

    Namrok on
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    ...............

    not enough D:s

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Was she extremely drunk?

    I understand that the latter isn't entirely in her control, but the former seems.. surprising.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products regular
    edited August 2009
    Namrok wrote: »
    My ex once crapped a little and menstruated on my floor. At the same time. Talk about letting yourself go. She cleaned it up, but seriously. On the floor? I don't even know what the fuck she was doing, I was distracted by checking my email, and the next thing I hear is "Oh shit".

    You might just win the thread.

    ...

    Was she walking around naked and then suddenly had a fart/queef tag team when it was her time of the month?

    I mean, how the shit do you ACCIDENTALLY do that?

    And I have never been with someone who wasn't in tune enough with their cycle to not have a pad/tampon and a pair of comfort sweats on during their time of the month.

    syndalis on
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  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Heir wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    This is actually the craziest story I've read, thus far, in this thread. One month?! Didn't she get the memo? Pooping in front of your SO is like a month six or eight activity, not during or shortly after the first month. Bitch be crazy.

    Man that's practically married territory there.

    Not even then.

    Not even then.

    chamberlain on
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Maybe she was wearing a skirt sans panties. Maybe it wasn't menstural but an actual bloody shit.
    I physically gagged writing that.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • CptHamiltonCptHamilton Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Heir wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    This is actually the craziest story I've read, thus far, in this thread. One month?! Didn't she get the memo? Pooping in front of your SO is like a month six or eight activity, not during or shortly after the first month. Bitch be crazy.

    Man that's practically married territory there.

    Not even then.

    Not even then.

    My wife finds it weird that I don't want to be in the room when she's on the toilet.

    There are things in life that no one else needs to be privy to. If it were possible, I wouldn't hang around in the room while I am taking a crap.

    CptHamilton on
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  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Heir wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    This is actually the craziest story I've read, thus far, in this thread. One month?! Didn't she get the memo? Pooping in front of your SO is like a month six or eight activity, not during or shortly after the first month. Bitch be crazy.

    Man that's practically married territory there.

    Not even then.

    Not even then.

    I've been married for 3 years and we've been together for almost 9 and while we've peed infront of each other we don't just shit with the other one standing at the sink. We've been on the other side of the door talking tons of times. We usually only push the door to not all the way closed anymore, but the other person is usually off in the living room and if they wander into the bedroom (where the bathroom is off of) then that's their fault.

    Helps we also have two bathrooms.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    On the other hand, I was brushing my teeth one time and my girlfriend of one month walked in to the bathroom with me, sat down on the toilet, and did a one and a two.

    This is actually the craziest story I've read, thus far, in this thread. One month?! Didn't she get the memo? Pooping in front of your SO is like a month six or eight activity, not during or shortly after the first month. Bitch be crazy.

    To be fair, she's Chinese and that's what they do there.

    I was playing Settlers of Catan with a bunch of Chinese girls one time and one of then was all, "I gotta poop." and another girl was all, "me too. Let's go." And they went into the bathroom together.

    I only had one toilet.

    Loren Michael on
    2ezikn6.jpg
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I'm pretty sure they took turns...

    Gabriel_Pitt on
This discussion has been closed.