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Diabeetus
Kingthlayer
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, I'm in a new relationship with a beautiful woman who also happens to have diabetes. It doesn't bother me, but I can tell she's really self-concious about it. I don't really know much about diabetes except that it's a problem with the production of insulin, or something like that, but I'd like to learn more so that I can give her a little support if/when she needs it. I think it would make her feel special if I took the time to cook up a diabetes friendly dinner, or something along those lines. I guess that's not really a question, but there it is. Advice, anyone? Anecdotes? Is it a bad idea to call attention to it by cooking aforementioned dinner?
I really like her so I'd like to avoid fucking this up.
I really like her so I'd like to avoid fucking this up.
Kingthlayer on
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Showing her you support her is a good way to go... though it's not like she has a communicable disease, or anything worth being embarrassed about (I know that's a subjective thing).
Inc Links!
American Diabetes Association - About Diabetes
Several Hundred Diabetic-Friendly Recipes
I'm aware that it's not a communicable disease, but it seems like it is a disease that affects every part of her life. That can't be fun for anyone to deal with...
@rfalias: laughter is the best medicine, so if you're sick you're welcome.
Many people with diabetes are able to control it to a point that it really doesn't get in the way of living at all. It's good of you to want to be informed, but it doesn't need to be "the elephant in the room" for any reason.
My dad is deathly allergic to fish, and while it's not completely equivocal to diabetes, it's something he has to be upfront about because otherwise it'll kill him. So he has to ask about certain foods, etc., and commonly cooks seafood at home rather than have it at restaurants for that very reason. I know some people who try to control their diabetes completely with their diet, and others who eat pretty normally and rely on a pump or do the test/shot thing. But yeah, making it clear to her that you don't see her as weird or odd because of her condition is key, and shouldn't present any serious roadblock in the future.
Since it is a long-term/lifelong condition, I can understand why she'd be apprehensive about it when you're just starting to date. A lot of people with chronic conditions see themselves as a burden on other people.
It depends on what type of diabetes one has to determine whether or not it can be controlled with diet and exercise alone (though both are good ideas regardless). It's not always just a choice of how you "want" to deal with it. Not saying you're judging anyone, just saying it happens.
I may have it backward, but Type II is often caused by a poor diet, rather than being a condition you're born having and can completely be controlled without being insulin-dependent. If she has a pump, it's likely she needs it.
@OP: Exercise is a great way to help regulate the body's balance. A good way to spend time together would be to go for brisk walks (or whatever level of exercise would be beneficial without being taxing), which is healthy for both of you.
A handy tip, a practical 'diabetic friendly' meal is just a normal, healthy meal. Don't deep-fry a hamsteak, top it with gravy, and pour ranch dressing all over it, and then pass her half a triple-layered-quadruple fudge cheesecake for desert. Sensible food, sensible portions, and if you can swing a dessert light on all the emptry sugar calories, voila, you're good to go. (since type IIs do a lot of their blood sugar control via diet, they're the ones who have to be really on the ball about their meals)
I can't really comment much about the shyness factor. I certainly have no shame. When a business meeting breaks for lunch, I'll just prick my finger right there at the table, and then either face the wall or keep it under the table when I bare just enough of my stomach to stick the needle in.
Essentially, read up on the links provided, learn what the signs of an insulin reaction are, but other than that, you can pretty safely ignore it.
assuming they have type I insulin dependent, try to be aware of her sugar levels and how they might affect her. sometimes other people may get keyed in and pick something up the other might not. thats why having snacks to get blood sugar back up are good to have around.
i think the best thing you can do is not make a huge deal out of it. if she is self concious about it you making a big deal about it is probably the worst thing ever.
Unless you sneak two cups of sugar in your soup I really doubt you'd put her life at risk as she can probably guess how much insulin she'd need to take.
edit: if you're worried about her health (like her getting lows at your place) get small juice boxes that you can keep somewhere in the house. They are the perfect size to bring her blood sugar up without putting her at risk of drinking too much juice (like from the big carton itself).
A lean steak, and some vegetables is an example of a great meal for diabetics. Keep sugars on hands if said person ever has a diabetic emergency but don't use them in your foods.
Whole grain carbohydrates are typically better than processed carbohydrates if she craves them but carbohydrates are not an essential nutrient so you can't do much harm clearing them out of your diet completely. I personally have little problem clearing carbs out of my diet (except my addiction to mt dew) and prefer eating diets that focus on vegetables and some meat. There are some fruits that are ok as well but they should be eaten sparingly.
To paraphrase you can't really go wrong with vegetables and meat (keep in mind starchy vegetables are bad too) and fruits every once and awhile but you'll want to stay away from everything else.
Also artificial sweetners are very unhealthy for you, don't try to supplement stuff with those.
Anyway, yeah, don't beat her up with special diabetes-friendly recipes. Don't point out she's different, or you went to extra trouble to deal with her disease. If you're digging this woman, be supportive and honest [it's understandable you have questions, you can ask, but remember she's not your science project] and just let her be honest and open with you.
EDIT: Wife chips in: If she says she's hungry or needs to eat, find a place to eat!
I don't want to turn this into a D&D thread, but artificial sweeteners are actually not that bad for you, and are a godsend for diabetics. My father is diabetic and a doctor and he personally consumes artificial sweeteners, no problem.
There was a debate about it not too long ago in a D&D thread, but if you're referring to sucralose's chlorine content, it's entirely unharmful because of the chemical structure, and it passes through you harmlessly.
I suggest the OP do research of his own to come to his own conclusion about it, but the general scientific opinion is that they are harmless. In fact, they may be the most tested food substance on the market. Here's a good article from the National Cancer Institute.
Edit: I realized there wasn't much advice in my post, so on a related note here's a great Splenda Cookbook
I'll just skip the carbs and stuff when I cook for her and not draw attention to it. A lot of those recipes sound pretty tasty, anyway...
Sucralose (splenda) is very safe. You're very right. Aspartame, saccharin and acesulfame potassium have been known to cause hypoglycemic attacks in people. Which is very bad for people with diabetes (well diabetes 2 at least I'm not sure if people who produce no insulin as in diabetes 1 will respond to it at all).
There's conflicting evidence either direction in the published medical fields for the properties of aspartame and saccharin (the main ingredients in diet soda). Some people seem to have their health markers get healthier others seem to lose control of their bodies (unexplainable weight gain, glaucoma, onset diabetes and onset blindness have been associated with diet soda). It's safe to say the vast majority of people who drink diet soda probably have little effect but it's unclear as to why drug trials have such mixed data. The FDA has been known to respond to industrial pressures in it's classification of sweetners most notably stevia. It's hard for the medical community as a whole to trust government mandates about the 'health' of something as they've been so dreadfully wrong so many times often with scant (but present) data predicting the effects.
As such the medical community doesn't trust diet soda, high consumption of it does show very damaging correlation but it's difficult to show a casual causal relationship.
However, I'm quite willing to bet that any danger from long-term sweetener use is staggeringly moderate compared to the consequences of uncontrolled blood sugar levels. Potential slim increase in risk of cancer vs. peripheral neuropathies, infections, blindness, coma, death. Great.
Just keep in mind she needs to prick her finger to test her sugar, and give herself insulin before she eats, and if on a pump stick a really really big needle in herself every two days or so. It might scar her skin for where the pump goes. I am myself self conscious about that issue. If she dosent do this stuff in front of you, or leaves the room to obviously do it, let her know that its ok around you if it is, or when she is ready to do so in front of you it is ok. eventually sheill do that kind of maintenance in front of you and it isnt a big deal. Personally I assume not to in front of people, because some people are squeamish of blood/needles.
If you ever hear someone talk about how "x's diabeeeeeetus got so bad they had to wire dem to one o dem pump thingies." beat the ever loving shit out of them. One thing I cant stand is people talking about a disease they have no fucking clue about.
Keep a soda in the fridge reserved for if she visits and has a low, or ask her what she would prefer. If it becomes more serious you might want to talk to her about what your reaction should be to things. what happens if she passes out(this should be not necessary, but it would be an emergency.)
It is definitely a hard thing, diabeties is a super manageable disease for most, type 1 and 2, but its still all life support.
As for diet, or trying to acustom a meal for her diet: the easy answer is a healthy meal for anyone is fine for her. Carbohydrates are the name of the game, but she can have pasta and such just fine. If she is in strict control of her diabeties she will need to know what she is eating 30 minutes beforehand at least to take correct amounts of insulin, but thats about it. The only real thing I stay away from food wise? regular soda is completely out of the picture, and things literally made out of sugar that noone should eat anyways. If I went over to a girlfriends house who was cooking for the first time, and found out she made everything sugarfree or something off the wall "for my diabeetus" wed have to sit down and have a long talk that was embarassing for both of us.
1) There is no need to cook anything special for a diabetic (assuming type 1) If they know what they are doing they can increase or decrease the amount of insulin they take before the meal to accommodate.
2) Please understand what insulin does, I once had a friend try to give me insulin while I had a low blood sugar because he didn't know that it would have made things 1000x worse
3) You might want to have a talk about what happens to her when she has a high/low blood sugar so you can recognize the signs of either (she will know when either happens but it can be a good thing for you to know as well). I, for example, get very emotional, irritable, and almost hyper when I get a low blood sugar. Alternatively I get very lethargic and stiff when I have a high blood sugar.
4) KNOW HOW TO USE GLUCAGON! In the event of a 'severe low' knowing how to 'make' and inject glucagon could save her life. When I was first diagnosed my family spent hours with a nurse learning how to use the stuff
When I go low I start to get light-headed - it's akin to a glass of wine on an empty stomach - but it's accompanied by growing confusion, hunger, irritability, sweating (!), lack of concentration and a bloody single-mindedness to cram down a soda or a candy bar as rapidly as possible. I can be a really vague asshole when I'm low - I make for terrible conversation because I can't think straight until my sugars come back to normal, I can barely hear what the other person is saying because my brain is basically going 'OH FUCK OH FUCK OH MAN GOD DAMN IT DID I ACTUALLY DRINK THAT ENTIRE BOTTLE OF ORANGE JUICE AH GOD ITS SO BRIGHT IN HERE WHO THE FUCK IS THAT OH SHIT'.
You can't do anything for them except be patient and wait it out. If I've already had some sugar and I'm waiting to come back to normal, asking questions like 'Are you okay?' or 'Do you need anything?' do nothing but IRRITATE THE SHIT OUT OF ME when I'm low. I realise they come from a compassionate place but it can truly be a struggle just sitting up straight when your hypoglycemic, answering questions is the worst. She'll let you know when she feels better, no doubt.
It likely won't happen often though, most people have a good handle on how much insulin they need for their carb intake / activity level. Last time I had an episode was when I took my normal insulin dose then went nuts cleaning the house and rearranging furniture - the extra activity meant my insulin worked faster than usual so my blood sugars fell rapidly. If I had planned the rearranging earlier, I would have moderated my dose. Spontaneity for Type 1 diabetics can sometimes be trouble!
shes probably learned to work with it, but you never know. i am hesitant about advice as i am not her, not a doctor, and dont know how in control of her desease she is. she might be comfortable doing x because she isnt doing as well as she should, etc.