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Is my friend interested in me?
iowa
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
A few days ago I woke up and turned on my phone to find a message from a friend of mine that said something to the effect of "I had a dream about us having sex, i'm not joking."
So that's kind of strange, but doesn't necessarily mean anything. But then I get this e-mail from her where she says she misses me (i'll expand on this part later) and talks about how she hasn't been getting along with her boyfriend lately (i'll expand on this as well). She also ends it by saying I was good in the sack in her dreams (...).
Okay I respond to that and say that her dream is one of the weirder things I've ever been told. As a kind of joke I also say "I wonder if my naked body resembles that of a chicken in dreamland as it does in real life". Then I end it by wishing her luck with her finals and "hoping things work out with" her boyfriend. Oh, I also ask if she wants to meet up over break, but that's nothing out of character and we've done things like that before.
She responds again. In regard to her plans over christmas break she wrote:
"Hopefully I'll beable to meet up with you and friends and you and family and you! HA!"
and then ended with this:
"Nah, you didn't look like a chicken in my dream, you looked great
"
I met this girl a year ago in one of my classes at a community college. She moved back home after that semester was over to attend another school. Now she is living with her boyfriend and his family in a city about an hour away. I got the impression that she would have a hard time finding a place to stay for the remaining semester there if she broke up with her boyfriend and couldn't stay in the house. I have driven to visit her at the house (although I have never met her boyfriend and still haven't) once and then I drove to see her again while she was in a closer town. She visited me once also. There was never any sexual tension or anything when we've hung out. Next year we will probably be going to the same state school which is a few hours away from where she is now. We're both 19, her boyfriend is 25.
Do you guys think her recent behavior indicates anything or am I misconstruing it?
If she is interested in me how do I indicate to her that I want to continue being friends exclusively?
So that's kind of strange, but doesn't necessarily mean anything. But then I get this e-mail from her where she says she misses me (i'll expand on this part later) and talks about how she hasn't been getting along with her boyfriend lately (i'll expand on this as well). She also ends it by saying I was good in the sack in her dreams (...).
Okay I respond to that and say that her dream is one of the weirder things I've ever been told. As a kind of joke I also say "I wonder if my naked body resembles that of a chicken in dreamland as it does in real life". Then I end it by wishing her luck with her finals and "hoping things work out with" her boyfriend. Oh, I also ask if she wants to meet up over break, but that's nothing out of character and we've done things like that before.
She responds again. In regard to her plans over christmas break she wrote:
"Hopefully I'll beable to meet up with you and friends and you and family and you! HA!"
and then ended with this:
"Nah, you didn't look like a chicken in my dream, you looked great
"I met this girl a year ago in one of my classes at a community college. She moved back home after that semester was over to attend another school. Now she is living with her boyfriend and his family in a city about an hour away. I got the impression that she would have a hard time finding a place to stay for the remaining semester there if she broke up with her boyfriend and couldn't stay in the house. I have driven to visit her at the house (although I have never met her boyfriend and still haven't) once and then I drove to see her again while she was in a closer town. She visited me once also. There was never any sexual tension or anything when we've hung out. Next year we will probably be going to the same state school which is a few hours away from where she is now. We're both 19, her boyfriend is 25.
Do you guys think her recent behavior indicates anything or am I misconstruing it?
If she is interested in me how do I indicate to her that I want to continue being friends exclusively?
iowa on
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Posts
Yes, she is interested
Battle.net: Fireflash#1425
Steam Friend code: 45386507
If you're not interested at all, well, you'll just have to turn her down if she offers. I don't suggest saying anything to that effect until she says something though, that would be a little presumptuous.
I don't want to suggest anything too drastic without having heard more about what is going on between you two, but if you think she's crossing the line, you should probably tell her something.
Not that I would endorse you pursuing the offer, but that's your decision.
Oculus: TheBigDookie | XBL: Dook | NNID: BigDookie
She has been with her boyfriend for atleast a year.
Zek/Durandal: I came to the conclusion that I should wait for more concrete indications as well. I will probably see her in person sometime after Christmas and if she starts coming on to me then I'll talk to her.
Thanks guys.
But her blood family is breaking apart (divorce, cancer), and she doesn't have much of an out there. So she's probably looking to you.
Here's a hint -- people have dreams about sex all the time. Many times, the people they're fucking are not their regular partners. They're someone they met in passing, or a good friend, or a movie star, or just someone generic.
However, they almost never tell anyone! Why would you tell someone you had a sexual fantasy about them if you weren't currently having sex with them? Either you seriously raise eyebrows, and you're using it to come on to someone, or you scare the person off. Think about it -- if you had a sex dream about a good female friend of yours, would you call her up and tell her? "Hey Betty, I just woke up and had a really nice sex dream with you. You looked real fine." Either that's a booty call or stalker-talk.
The advice I can offer is really based on how you feel. Do you think of her as a friend, or as a potential girlfriend? Do you want to help her emotionally, or do you see nothing wrong? Do you want her to break up with her boyfriend and move in with you? To me, she's giving you obvious signs. I think you're seeing that as well, as is everyone else in the thread. What you do, though, is up to you and how you feel about the situation.
I would drop her an email and ask what's up. Say it's not every day someone says they're boinking you in their dreams, and say that you're curious but not really sure what "the dream" means, since she lives so far away and with a boyfriend.
In the end, a dream is just a dream. On it's own it doesn't mean anything, I mean we've all had strange sex dreams. She's chosen not only to tell you about it, but to get all flirty. I think this is totally a positive sign.
You said that you just want to be her friend. Is this a for sure thing, or just a gut reaction. If you really just want to be her friend and nothing more, making a move to turn her down directly, before she's confirmed she's interested, could be kinda harsh. You might want to wait for her to ask you out. Be careful what signals you put out in the meantime, if she breaks up with her guy thinking she's going to be with you and you shut her down, she could be pretty hurt.[/i]
I think I will just not comment on the "you looked great" thing and talk about her break plans or her job or something. Hopefully she will get the sign.
I'd like to be blunt like this, but I couldn't bring myself to. I may have overstated how well we know eachother. There have been long periods where we'd have no contact, only over the past couple of months have we really talked with some frequency.
I would wait until she's free and clear of the boyfriend, though. I'm sure everyone here would agree that you don't want to be that guy.
Like others pointed out, if she's telling you about a sex dream with you, that's a pretty big fucking 2X4 upside the head of solid flirt.
IF it beomes uncomfortable for you, then just talk about it. Over email or in person when you see her on break. Be compassionate about her feelings, but firm about your intentions. She's going to have to work the rest out on her own.
I wouldn't jump the gun until she starts trying to jump your bones though.
- Adam Savage, 'Mythbusters'