GF in hospital, irrational anxiety.

Fireflash

So this Saturday morning my GF had to be sent to the hospital.

My post in the D&D Significant Other thread, if anyone cares:
http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showpost.php?p=11167659&postcount=103

I'll spoiler the story for the people that don't feel like reading through all of it:

This month she decided to stay back in her hometown at her mom's place until school starts again at the end of the month since she had no more job for the summer. So this weekend I went over there to visit her.

Saturday morning when we woke up she had a headache. Was had a few drinks the night before but nothing truly hangover worthy. We snuggled a little which lead to sex. After that she got up to go get some aspirin for her headeache. I got up a few minutes later and I saw her at the bottom of the stairs, panicking and crying. When I asked her what why she was crying she told me sher whole left side was numb and that her sight was wrong on her left eye.

I immediately warned her parents outside and we took her to the hospital. A nursed checked her rapidly and then I spent about 5 hours by her side in a bed waiting for the doctor. The first scan (can't remember the name) revealed nothing and her blood tests were fine. I spent the rest of the evening with her too and went back to her parent's place to sleep.

I went to see her Sunday morning too. She had completely regained feelings in her foot, but the rest of her left side was still numb/overlysensitive. She still had issues with her left eye (No peripheral vision on her left) but it had gotten a little better. I had to leave in the afternoon because I had to take my carpool lift to return to Montreal. Meanwhile she remains in the hospital, waiting for a more in depth scan to make sure there wasn't any damage to her brain (not sure what it's called exactly in English... magnetic resonnance?). It might take until Tuesday for the machine to be availble.

I was fine while heading back home on Sunday but now every time the thought of her never fully healing or having something really bad happen to her crosses my mind I feel sad and anxious. I hate the fact that I can't be close to her, even though she's feeling pretty fine oustide the numbness and vision problem. We've recently started crunchtime at work so this isn't the best of times to miss work.

Apparently this is something that can sometimes happen to women who take hormonal contraceptives nonstop for many years, she took the pill for 8 years, so she'll probably have to switch to a different kind of contraceptive. I didn't get a chance to talk to her today yet, so I have no idea if her situation has improved.

Basically, she had a brain/nervous system fuckup. She's still in the hospital, 5 hours away from me. She'll probably be fine, but I can't stop worrying about the fact that there might be something bad hiding, or that the damage won't fully heal. I was fine yesterday but I have a hard time concentrating at work right now. I manage to get occupied for a little while but my thoughts keep coming back to her and I start feeling really bad.

Chanus

You're scared, that's normal. Sucks to care about people.

There's very little you can do, so there's no benefit to freaking yourself out over it. Yes, I know, easier said than done, but you need to make peace with that fact. Keep in contact with her (as much as you and she are able) so you don't have to sit and wonder what she's going through, but beyond that, it's really out of your hands, unfortunately.


And I don't mean this to sound crass or anything, or overly pragmatic and unfeeling... You'll find that making peace with a situation you can not control will greatly increase your ability to deal with it.

SanderJK

The machine was an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging). With it, they should've seen any build up of fluids or such.

The anxiety is pretty normal. People tend to react badly to stress, and medical problems always leave people feeling vulnerable, since it's out of your hands.

From your story, she doesn't seem to have suffered any mental issues? For me, that trumps any physical discomforts.

What you should do, is find out if she wants / needs anything from you. Keep communicating. Make sure the trivial things of life keep rolling, keeping busy is often the best way to come to terms with these things. Tell your boss about this though, I cannot imagine he/she not being sympathetic to this.

Fireflash

SanderJK wrote: »

The machine was an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging). With it, they should've seen any build up of fluids or such.

The anxiety is pretty normal. People tend to react badly to stress, and medical problems always leave people feeling vulnerable, since it's out of your hands.

From your story, she doesn't seem to have suffered any mental issues? For me, that trumps any physical discomforts.

What you should do, is find out if she wants / needs anything from you. Keep communicating. Make sure the trivial things of life keep rolling, keeping busy is often the best way to come to terms with these things. Tell your boss about this though, I cannot imagine he/she not being sympathetic to this.

No, she didn't have any loss of mental faculty, nor any paralysis. She also didn't have any loss of physical strenght. For this at least I am extremely grateful.

The MRI she is still waiting for. She did the basic, more superficial brainscan. So I'm still afraid the in-depth scan might reveal something terrible.

Pixel Blue

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Fireflash

Thanks for the info Pixel, it does help me feel a bit better about all of this. She's currently 23 years old BTW. I'm 27.

Yes I remember the doctor mentionning that it might have been some kind of mini stroke. And from my witnessing of the event it does make quite a lot of sense.

-Woke up with a headache so she was vulnerable to the stroke I guess
- We have sex, which increases the heartrate and bloodflow. Small blood clot happens somewhere in the brain that controls her left side?
- Mentions her eye seems a bit weird, gets out of bed and heads downstairs for some aspirin, whole left side becomes numb.

Kosenjou

Just to give you one of the more common non-stroke options, this could be nothing more serious than a migraine. migraines can often present with the exact symptoms of a stroke and can certainly be brought on, or worsened by sexual activity.

PeregrineFalcon

Based on the rather sudden onset of the major symptoms, I'd say it was a TIA (transient ischemic attack) over a migraine. There's been a fair bit of linking between birth control and TIAs so she should definitely look at switching brands or even stopping entirely.

Arasen

Agree with PergrineFalcon. Sounds like a TIA. Don't know anything about the birth control link. However, TIA's are less severe than a fullblown CVA. IF there is any damage she would probably fully recover by doing some rehab.

Fireflash

Thanks for all the comments. I just managed to talk to her a few minutes ago. She still has mild headaches troughout the day but her body is a little less numb than yesterday and her eyesight has improved too!

variant

If you can make the time why dont you get a ride over there and stay there overnight, take your music player + some speakers with you and just go listen to her fav music with her?

elfdude

If you find out it's something different than a stroke post it cuz I'm interested.

Sometimes migraines can cause issues like that and get mistaken as a stroke. I have a friend who gets severe migraines every few days and can't move for several hours her left side getting sensitive/numb.

Odds are the doctors just aren't sure what happened and are keeping her around to make sure it's not anything more serious than they thought. It's uncommon but not rare for people to have a stroke in their life. I had another friend who had a stroke like this when someone hit her in the face with a ball in gym. One advantage of you guys being so young is that your brains might be able to quasi-heal (reroute the functions) without any apparent brain damage. The older you get the less likely your brain will recover.

vonPoonBurGer

Out of curiosity, why does your headline say "irrational anxiety"? Headache, loss of feeling on one side of the body, partial loss of vision in the eye on that same side of the body... all of these things say "brain trauma event," and if that isn't the most utterly rational reason to freak the hell out, I don't know what is.

Also, her first scan was probably a CT. CT scans would tell the doctors if there was major bleeding in the cranium, but they're not very good at differentiating between different soft tissue densities. Making sure there was no intracranial bleeding would have been the top priority, because if there was an active bleed it might not have been outwardly apparent, yet there would have been a limited amount of time to address the issue before permanent & severe brain damage could occur. Based on the fact that they didn't have to rush your girlfriend into neurosurgery, I'd say the CT results came back normal.

The MRI gives a much better picture of the soft tissue of the brain, but MRI hasn't been around as long as CT and thus there are fewer MRI machines available, so that's why MRI is the follow-up. Something like a relatively small clot, or a ballooned blood vessel, or a small pocket of damaged brain tissue, or a small growth fairly similar in density to the surrounding tissue, that'll show up much better on an MRI than a CT. Basically, the CT scan confirmed there wasn't a major bleed still going on, or a large tumor inside your girlfriend's head. The MRI will let the doctors see if there's anything in there they need to know about, that a CT scan would have a hard time picking out.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, but I used to work for a software vendor in medical imaging, so I have a probably above-average understanding of the imaging technologies.

AlyceInWonderland

Yeah, this is not irrational at all. I'd be freaking the fuck out of my SO was sent to the hospital.

I really have nothing to offer to this thread other than that I really hope your girlfriend gets better and everything works out. Hang in there, I'm sure everything will be okay.

Reservoir Angel

That's not irrational. If your SO goes into the Hospital it is practically your duty to worry yourself half to death. It's just what we do.

Zombiemambo

Not irrational in the least. You're going to be anxious, so I suggest you come to terms with that. There isn't a whole lot you can do about it (or should do about it).

Fireflash

Well, for those that wanted to know, yesterday the doctors confirmed that she had a stroke. She's getting a bit better every day so I'm not too worried about her health anymore. She's still in the hospital but should be leaving soon I think. They want to check her heart just to make sure there isn't a hole or other problem that could've caused non-oxygenated blood to go up the wrong way.

A co-worker also told me about his cousin who had a stroke at 27 that got her left side paralyzed but she ended up fully recovering anyways, so I'm confident that my gf will most likely fully recover, seeing as she's healthy and her symptoms aren't as bad as this girl's were.

I called my worries irrational because I was extremely worried even though all signs were showing that she wasn't in immediate danger. And her own mother seemed pretty calm about this situation, compared to me.

I already got in touch with all her close friends and I talk to her every day. Nothing much else to say or do, but I can't wait to see her again after all of this.

Thanks for all the comments and wishes!

Arasen

Glad to hear she's doing okay. Just make sure she sticks to the rehab afterwards.

Forar

Best wishes for you and your Girlfriend, Fireflash.