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Strange and Embarrassing Moments: Italy: Land of Homoerotic Escapades

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Posts

  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    rockmonkey wrote: »
    ...and no baby, because babies don't eat chicken.

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2050/1547575807_23ff03ac57.jpg?v=0

    Bastard.

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    So I'm on the phone with my Mom this afternoon. We're discussing my monumentally stupid way of dealing with a certain situation.

    I say, "You know Mom, sometimes I think that I'm a high-functioning mentally disabled person, and I don't know it because everyone is just being nice to me."
    She says, "What makes you think you're high-functioning?"

    For fuck's sake, Mom.

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • YamiNoSenshiYamiNoSenshi A point called Z In the complex planeRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I call this the FEAR story.

    I was in college at the time, and I was in my room by myself playing FEAR on my PC. If you don't know, FEAR is a first person shooter/action/horror game. I was in a underground sewer area and of course everything is poorly lit. I'm totally alone. There's a ladder I need to go down, which triggers a little stock animation of you turning around, during which time you can't control anything. Again, I'm alone. As I turn around to get on the ladder BAM creepy little girl right in my face. Very similar to the girl from The Ring, which scared the shit out of me. So I'm mentally recovering from that while my character automatically climbs down the ladder. When I get to the bottom, I turn to proceed and BAM main villain walking towards me, bullets going right through him. Just as he's about to touch me, he evaporates.

    This was all too much for me. I jump up, run out of my room, down the hall, and I burst into my girlfriend's room, which was right down the hall, and collapse on her bed in the fetal position, rocking back and forth murmuring about scary little girl. She gives me a hug and a few moments later I feel a bit better, so I thank her and leave, while she and her roommate are still wondering what the hell happened.

    YamiNoSenshi on
    Damn it, it's fucking noon. I demand to know if Yami shit on a desk yet.

    Watch me sometimes stream games.
  • Dr. FaceDr. Face King of Pants Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I embarrassed my parents more times than I could count as a little kid by repeating highlights of private gossip and bitching about family members and friends to said family members and friends. However, plenty of times they were only half mortified, as they were also half glad they could essentially let me say what they wanted to say but couldn't.

    When very young (small enough to be in the shopping cart seat) my mom had me grocery shopping with her. A man walks past and I ask kinda loud, "Is that my daddy?"

    Dr. Face on
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  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    I embarrassed my parents more times than I could count as a little kid by repeating highlights of private gossip and bitching about family members and friends to said family members and friends. However, plenty of times they were only half mortified, as they were also half glad they could essentially let me say what they wanted to say but couldn't.

    When very young (small enough to be in the shopping cart seat) my mom had me grocery shopping with her. A man walks past and I ask kinda loud, "Is that my daddy?"

    My brother was sitting in the shopping cart (he was like 2-3) and for no reason at all, grabbed my mom's chest as she leaned over and said, REALLY LOUDLY, "ARE THESE YOUR BOOBIES???"

    I laughed really really hard, but then got a stern talking-to when we got home and she figured out where he learned it.

    Also I got in trouble when my Uncle told us his credit card pin number (6969) and all my siblings sniggered. WHOOOOPS guess I shouldn't educate my brothers on sex slang.

    Arch on
  • saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    My mother brought my 2 or 3 year old sister on a shopping expedition in a supermarket one time, which involved my mother being mortified by something my sister said.

    My sister was sitting in the shopping cart, and a lady who was doing shopping passed by them, smiling at my sister as one would smile at babies. My sister, who was warned that you should be wary of strangers by this point in her life, says to the lady, "WHAT'RE YOU LOOKIN' AT, LADY?" in the snottiest voice a 2-3 year old can muster, and the lady scampers off.

    My mother was mortified. Both my sister and my mother remember this incident clearly, and it is brought up at my family functions.

    saint2e on
    banner_160x60_01.gif
  • Captain UltraCaptain Ultra low resolution pictures of birds Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    So I'm on the phone with my Mom this afternoon. We're discussing my monumentally stupid way of dealing with a certain situation.

    I say, "You know Mom, sometimes I think that I'm a high-functioning mentally disabled person, and I don't know it because everyone is just being nice to me."
    She says, "What makes you think you're high-functioning?"

    For fuck's sake, Mom.

    Oh, man, this is great. I'm trying to contain my laughter so I don't wake up my roommate. Your mother is a very classy lady.

    Captain Ultra on
    BeNarwhal wrote: »
    I'm gonna saaaay ... over 160 launches attempted worldwide in 2019. Someone record that somewhere!
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Suddenly, we understand so much more about underdonk

    The Black Hunter on
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Arch wrote: »
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    I embarrassed my parents more times than I could count as a little kid by repeating highlights of private gossip and bitching about family members and friends to said family members and friends. However, plenty of times they were only half mortified, as they were also half glad they could essentially let me say what they wanted to say but couldn't.

    When very young (small enough to be in the shopping cart seat) my mom had me grocery shopping with her. A man walks past and I ask kinda loud, "Is that my daddy?"

    My brother was sitting in the shopping cart (he was like 2-3) and for no reason at all, grabbed my mom's chest as she leaned over and said, REALLY LOUDLY, "ARE THESE YOUR BOOBIES???"

    I laughed really really hard, but then got a stern talking-to when we got home and she figured out where he learned it.

    Also I got in trouble when my Uncle told us his credit card pin number (6969) and all my siblings sniggered. WHOOOOPS guess I shouldn't educate my brothers on sex slang.

    My three year old son does this.

    'Yesterday Miss Marina (day care teacher) was at a party and her boobs came out.'

    I should have followed up with, 'what kind of party?' but I was afraid that he might actually know.

    chamberlain on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I was pretty embarassed by my own reaction to a friend of mine telling me via MSN that his mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

    "Well I never liked her breasts anyway!"

    I... I got nothing. My only defense is that this friend is totally irreverent about pretty much everything - we had been joking about celebrity cancer victims just weeks prior. But, obviously, it was completely the wrong thing to say at the time (and is, at all times). I apologised as soon as I'd said it, and again, and again and again. But yeah, I don't think we're friends any more.

    desperaterobots on
  • ThesmileyemoThesmileyemo Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    This story has become known among my friends as "The Brown Wall"

    Last winter, I was hanging out with friends, drinking, making fun of bad movies, and the like. Around 2am I decide to head home. Suddenly as I am leaving I really have to take a shit. It's a short walk home though, maybe 5-10 mintues. I figure I can make it, and not wreck my buddies bathroom.

    So I'm walking home with increasing discomfort, and when I'm maybe 2 minutes away I'm at the point where I know It's coming any minute, whether I'm ready or not. But I'm not about to shit on the sidewalk, so I just keep going, hoping to make it. I'm walking up my street, I know it's going to be close. I'd run, but that would probably just make everything worse. But success I make it into my house! I run to the bathroom and...

    remember when I said I'd been drinking? Well, I'd been drinking a lot. In fact, I was drunk to the point where taking my belt off was suprisingly difficult.

    ... I fumble around with my belt, I get it off, it's going to be a photo finish! I drop my pants when suddenly I lose the the race.

    All over the bathroom wall.

    and it is some nasty shit.

    And that's how I shit myself a foot away from a toilet.

    Thesmileyemo on
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    Suddenly, we understand so much more about underdonk

    Yeah, I get the douchebag gene from my Mom's side of the family.

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    One day when I was a kid, I decided that "black" wasn't an accurate descriptor of a certain race's skin color. After pondering it for a while, I settled on "colored." My parents were not pleased. Luckily, the black waiter at the restaurant we were eating at was out of earshot.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • SparvySparvy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    One day when I was a kid, I decided that "black" wasn't an accurate descriptor of a certain race's skin color. After pondering it for a while, I settled on "colored." My parents were not pleased. Luckily, the black waiter at the restaurant we were eating at was out of earshot.

    Im not quite sure of what is the politicaly correct version here (I blame being foreign). You can't say colored?

    Sparvy on
  • BitstreamBitstream Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Sparvy wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    One day when I was a kid, I decided that "black" wasn't an accurate descriptor of a certain race's skin color. After pondering it for a while, I settled on "colored." My parents were not pleased. Luckily, the black waiter at the restaurant we were eating at was out of earshot.

    Im not quite sure of what is the politicaly correct version here (I blame being foreign). You can't say colored?

    No. It tends to be the word used by old Southerners as a 'polite' replacement for n*****.

    Bitstream on
  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Sparvy wrote: »
    Im not quite sure of what is the politicaly correct version here (I blame being foreign). You can't say colored?

    "Colored people" is an old-fashioned term. Like all old-fashioned terms, it's become racist by association.

    admanb on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    admanb wrote: »
    Sparvy wrote: »
    Im not quite sure of what is the politicaly correct version here (I blame being foreign). You can't say colored?

    "Colored people" is an old-fashioned term. Like all old-fashioned terms, it's become racist by association.

    "People of color" is okay, though, mostly because they don't want to have to make a list of all the different minorities... except for Zapp Branigan.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    "people of color" is the current acceptable catch-all, but it changes every few years

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    NREqxl5.jpg
    do you lack faith, brother?
    or do you believe?
  • NeylaNeyla Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    So finally posting one... I am sure my BF will read this and enjoy the memories...

    We all know how young childern don't always pronounce things too well. Well my sweet darling of a boyfriend decided to teach my kids a new word!

    masticate

    At the time my kids were 4 and 7. They love my boyfriend and everything he says... wanna know what masticate sounds like coming out of a young childs mouth?

    Masterbate.

    What phrase did they say over and over again with a BIG smile on their face loudly any chance they get to be cute infront of strangers?

    "My name is Devyn and I masterbate everyday!"

    Neyla on
    13142111181576.png
  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I didn't know "coloured" was considered racist.

    Fuck, any frigging term that denotes another race can and will be called racist by someone. Like, you can't say black, you can't say coloured, because bringing attention to race at all suddenly makes you racist.

    Now terms that have obvious racist connotations... n word, etc., obviously shouldn't be used.

    Al_wat on
    PSN: AWATTT66| XBox Live: AWATTT66| Steam: AL-WAT| Battle.Net: ALWATTS #1320
    Origin: aiwatt| Switch: SW-8499-0918-5960
  • Bruce ForsythBruce Forsyth Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Weren't those old segregated drinking fountains often labeled with "Colored"? I could see how that might cause more racist connotations now than "Black" or similar.

    Bruce Forsyth on
  • BitstreamBitstream Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Exin wrote: »
    Weren't those old segregated drinking fountains often labeled with "Colored"? I could see how that might cause more racist connotations now than "Black" or similar.

    Yeah, this is pretty much it. In the later years of institutional southern racism, "colored" was the go-to discriminatory term. It's not bad in itself, but it's still got some connotations to several generations.

    Bitstream on
  • ChakramChakram Registered User
    edited October 2009
    This thread shall not die! I won't let it. Embaressing... I got one...

    Yeah, I'm kinda still in the young stage, so no sex or drunk stories. This will probaly be lame compared to some of the (coughPonycough) others on here.

    In second grade, I was extemely naive. I mean wasn't even funny naive. Had no real concept of what could happen, all around trusting. Add that I was slightly chubby, I was screwed. Apperantly the most cool thing to do in that grade was go into the one stall, balance yourself on the toilet rim, and look around. Made you all tall and cool apparently. I'm not really sure, was a while ago. So I somehow get the bright idea to try it myself. Works the first time. Second time, I wind up standing in the toilet, my shoes, socks, and jeans soaked. My mom had to be called in with a change of clothes and all that good stuff. Oddly enough, my class mates let me forget that.

    I have more, just give me time to think. Don't let this Resurrection die!

    Chakram on
  • LoathingLoathing Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"
    Reminds me of this one evening when I was walking down the street with my girlfriend. I'm not a very big guy, and I have longish--but not long--hair. Other than that though, I don't think I look that much like a girl. So you can imagine my confusion when this truck full of yokels drove past and some guy shouted "Lesbians!" at us.

    Last year, about a week before I was deployed, myself and the people that were getting sent out had to go back to the Int school to fill out paperwork, get stuff straightened out etc.

    Since we were back at the school for a couple of days, we had to do PT with them so on Friday we had to do a ruckmarch. Halfway through this, I turn to a buddy of mine and go "Hey, why the hell is that dude wearing diamond earings?" while pointing out one of the markers we had.

    "Uh, that's not a dude."

    Whoops!

    Apperently she got that a lot, because she really, really looked like a dude.

    Loathing on
    gnodab wrote: »
    There is nothing quite like smashing a bullhorn so hard in the ass with a supersledge that its head explodes.
  • McDudersteinMcDuderstein Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Loathing wrote: »
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"
    Reminds me of this one evening when I was walking down the street with my girlfriend. I'm not a very big guy, and I have longish--but not long--hair. Other than that though, I don't think I look that much like a girl. So you can imagine my confusion when this truck full of yokels drove past and some guy shouted "Lesbians!" at us.

    Last year, about a week before I was deployed, myself and the people that were getting sent out had to go back to the Int school to fill out paperwork, get stuff straightened out etc.

    Since we were back at the school for a couple of days, we had to do PT with them so on Friday we had to do a ruckmarch. Halfway through this, I turn to a buddy of mine and go "Hey, why the hell is that dude wearing diamond earings?" while pointing out one of the markers we had.

    "Uh, that's not a dude."

    Whoops!

    Apperently she got that a lot, because she really, really looked like a dude.

    I was hoping for a "That was my girlfriend/wife" to really drive that one out of the park.

    McDuderstein on
    underdonk wrote: »
    Centipeed wrote: »
    It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.

    You and me both, brother.

    Wait. You were banging her too, on the side?!

    You mean there's something to bang on the side?! To think, I've been spending all of my time in the middle.
  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Loathing wrote: »
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"
    Reminds me of this one evening when I was walking down the street with my girlfriend. I'm not a very big guy, and I have longish--but not long--hair. Other than that though, I don't think I look that much like a girl. So you can imagine my confusion when this truck full of yokels drove past and some guy shouted "Lesbians!" at us.

    Last year, about a week before I was deployed, myself and the people that were getting sent out had to go back to the Int school to fill out paperwork, get stuff straightened out etc.

    Since we were back at the school for a couple of days, we had to do PT with them so on Friday we had to do a ruckmarch. Halfway through this, I turn to a buddy of mine and go "Hey, why the hell is that dude wearing diamond earings?" while pointing out one of the markers we had.

    "Uh, that's not a dude."

    Whoops!

    Apperently she got that a lot, because she really, really looked like a dude.

    I was hoping for a "That was my girlfriend/wife" to really drive that one out of the park.

    In my mind I have made it so...I am now laughing.

    Shawnasee on
    Chanus wrote: »

    Your wang is a better man than you.
  • LoathingLoathing Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Had another similar moment a few months back, wasn't me that was sticking my foot in my mouth this time but a friend of mine I was with.

    We went to the shacks (barracks) to see if a friend of ours was there. Well, he wasn't so we started to head out to leave.

    We walk past my old room where I used to stay and of course I go "Fuck! I hated living here in the shacks, god it sucked!" to which my friend agree's.

    Right across from my (old) room is another room, which was always used as the girls room (every person that got assigned to that room was a girl). The new 'freshman' class to our Int school had just arrived and were settling in and unpacking, so the door was open and there was a person there.

    My friend walks by and goes "Huh, first time I've ever seen a guy assigned to this room, it's always been female only!"

    And thats when she turned around.

    Whoops!

    I just stood out in the hall and laughed while he went and apologized.

    Loathing on
    gnodab wrote: »
    There is nothing quite like smashing a bullhorn so hard in the ass with a supersledge that its head explodes.
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    This is both strange and embarassing. I'm a librarian and up until recently I was a children's librarian, so I had to do storytimes with little kids. One morning a class of 5 year olds came in from a local school for "special" kids, mostly with varying degrees of autism and almost all African-American. They come into the room, they sit down, and immediately I can tell that one little kid is going to be a sourpuss; he's sitting behind the others and scowling and generally not participating in the fun. After my first story the kids clap and he immediately starts to say "No, don't clap!"

    So one of the teachers asks him to be quiet and since engaging the kids is the best way to get them involved, I said "Yeah man, why're you so grumpy today?" He looks back at me and says "You can't call me man."

    So playing along I said "Ok, what should I call you?" And he looked me straight in the face and says "You have to call me nigge*!"

    D:

    So I said "I don't think I'm going to call you that." And he said "No, you have to, you have to call me nigge*!"

    So after a brief pause and the teachers looking anywhere but at either him or me, I just started my next story and talked over him for a minute until he stopped and was quiet the rest of the time.

    tl;dr A five year old told me that I had to call him nigge*.

    Peen on
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    So yesterday I decided to go for a jog after work. It was reasonably warm, breezy, and kind of rainy. Point being, there aren't a lot of people on the MUP around where I live. So I'm jogging with my dog along this long straight section of the MUP and all the way down at the other end I see someone walking towards me. I'm jogging, he's walking. I'm jogging, he's walking. He gets closer and I notice it's an older guy, probably in his sixties, with his hands in his pocket and his head down. I'm jogging, he's walking. So when I'm about two feet from him he raises his head to say "hi". At that point I step on a walnut with my left foot, roll my ankle, stumbled to left, tripped over my dog, and put a shoulder squarely in this gentleman's chest. We both go down hard on the grass next to the path. I roll over already starting to apologize and he's sitting up with a smile on his face. He says, "You sure did take your time lining me up there!".

    I'm really really glad he had a good sense of humor.

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • cytorakcytorak Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    My friend is a high school science teacher. She was discussing the characteristics of life when a student asked the following:

    Student: You know how in the movies, sperm looks like a tadpole?
    Teacher: Yes?
    Student: Well, how come, when it comes out of me, it just looks like a puddle on the floor, not a tadpole?

    My friend bit her tongue as his fellow students explained, without laughing (which impressed me for HS freshmen), the difference between sperm and semen. I was more concerned about the "on the floor" comment than his confusion.

    cytorak on
  • LoathingLoathing Registered User
    edited October 2009
    This happened maybe two weeks ago or so.

    Me and a buddy of mine go to the gym every day after work, or almost every day anyways. Also since it's slowly rolling into winter, it's pretty dark ouside around 5/6 pm.

    Also to note, my friend and his family are from India, like his father/mother moved to canada from there so he's fairly dark.

    So were walking in, and I guess there was some big gathering in one of the gyms (inside the gym, it's a bg gym) and all the people were going out the door single file somewhat.

    We had to cut through them to get to the weightroom, and right as were going through this old lady walks through the door and goes "Wow, it's getting pretty dark out here."

    Now me being the smart ass, I whip around and fire off "Damn lady, that's a bit racist!"

    And keep walking with my buddy, who's completely losing it laughing.

    Loathing on
    gnodab wrote: »
    There is nothing quite like smashing a bullhorn so hard in the ass with a supersledge that its head explodes.
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    So yesterday I decided to go for a jog after work. It was reasonably warm, breezy, and kind of rainy. Point being, there aren't a lot of people on the MUP around where I live. So I'm jogging with my dog along this long straight section of the MUP and all the way down at the other end I see someone walking towards me. I'm jogging, he's walking. I'm jogging, he's walking. He gets closer and I notice it's an older guy, probably in his sixties, with his hands in his pocket and his head down. I'm jogging, he's walking. So when I'm about two feet from him he raises his head to say "hi". At that point I step on a walnut with my left foot, roll my ankle, stumbled to left, tripped over my dog, and put a shoulder squarely in this gentleman's chest. We both go down hard on the grass next to the path. I roll over already starting to apologize and he's sitting up with a smile on his face. He says, "You sure did take your time lining me up there!".

    I'm really really glad he had a good sense of humor.

    Oh, my dad has a running story. When he was in grad or dental school, can't remember which, he ran daily along the same route, which takes him around a pond/reservoir/I don't know and up a hill with a synagogue at the top. So, one day, he's nearing the top of the hill, a man comes bursting out of the synagogue and runs up to my dad.
    "Quick: are you Jewish?"
    "Um, yeah?"
    "We need a minyan. Come on."
    He then grabs my dad's arm (or my memory is enhancing the story) and drags my dad into the synagogue for morning services.
    Apperantly, the rabbi had to do this all the time because nobody ever bothered attending morning services.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • Dr. FaceDr. Face King of Pants Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    So yesterday I decided to go for a jog after work. It was reasonably warm, breezy, and kind of rainy. Point being, there aren't a lot of people on the MUP around where I live. So I'm jogging with my dog along this long straight section of the MUP and all the way down at the other end I see someone walking towards me. I'm jogging, he's walking. I'm jogging, he's walking. He gets closer and I notice it's an older guy, probably in his sixties, with his hands in his pocket and his head down. I'm jogging, he's walking. So when I'm about two feet from him he raises his head to say "hi". At that point I step on a walnut with my left foot, roll my ankle, stumbled to left, tripped over my dog, and put a shoulder squarely in this gentleman's chest. We both go down hard on the grass next to the path. I roll over already starting to apologize and he's sitting up with a smile on his face. He says, "You sure did take your time lining me up there!".

    I'm really really glad he had a good sense of humor.

    Oh, my dad has a running story. When he was in grad or dental school, can't remember which, he ran daily along the same route, which takes him around a pond/reservoir/I don't know and up a hill with a synagogue at the top. So, one day, he's nearing the top of the hill, a man comes bursting out of the synagogue and runs up to my dad.
    "Quick: are you Jewish?"
    "Um, yeah?"
    "We need a minyan. Come on."
    He then grabs my dad's arm (or my memory is enhancing the story) and drags my dad into the synagogue for morning services.
    Apperantly, the rabbi had to do this all the time because nobody ever bothered attending morning services.

    For anyone not Jewish - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minyan

    Dr. Face on
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  • Teslan26Teslan26 Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    For anyone not Jewish - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minyan

    I was wondering.

    So, err, you gotta have at least 10 then? ^_^

    Teslan26 on
    Snowbeat wrote: »
    get out of here, numbername
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    So yesterday I decided to go for a jog after work. It was reasonably warm, breezy, and kind of rainy. Point being, there aren't a lot of people on the MUP around where I live. So I'm jogging with my dog along this long straight section of the MUP and all the way down at the other end I see someone walking towards me. I'm jogging, he's walking. I'm jogging, he's walking. He gets closer and I notice it's an older guy, probably in his sixties, with his hands in his pocket and his head down. I'm jogging, he's walking. So when I'm about two feet from him he raises his head to say "hi". At that point I step on a walnut with my left foot, roll my ankle, stumbled to left, tripped over my dog, and put a shoulder squarely in this gentleman's chest. We both go down hard on the grass next to the path. I roll over already starting to apologize and he's sitting up with a smile on his face. He says, "You sure did take your time lining me up there!".

    I'm really really glad he had a good sense of humor.

    Oh, my dad has a running story. When he was in grad or dental school, can't remember which, he ran daily along the same route, which takes him around a pond/reservoir/I don't know and up a hill with a synagogue at the top. So, one day, he's nearing the top of the hill, a man comes bursting out of the synagogue and runs up to my dad.
    "Quick: are you Jewish?"
    "Um, yeah?"
    "We need a minyan. Come on."
    He then grabs my dad's arm (or my memory is enhancing the story) and drags my dad into the synagogue for morning services.
    Apperantly, the rabbi had to do this all the time because nobody ever bothered attending morning services.

    I first read this as "we need a minivan".

    Rhesus Positive on
  • Dr. FaceDr. Face King of Pants Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Teslan26 wrote: »
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    For anyone not Jewish - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minyan

    I was wondering.

    So, err, you gotta have at least 10 then? ^_^

    God prefers 40 man raids when it comes to prayers, but he ended up caving to the "casuals" who said getting 40 people together to pray was too hard.

    Dr. Face on
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  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    Teslan26 wrote: »
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    For anyone not Jewish - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minyan

    I was wondering.

    So, err, you gotta have at least 10 then? ^_^

    God prefers 40 man raids when it comes to prayers, but he ended up caving to the "casuals" who said getting 40 people together to pray was too hard.

    Yeah, but the Torah still drops some mad loot.

    underdonk on
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  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    I embarrassed my parents more times than I could count as a little kid by repeating highlights of private gossip and bitching about family members and friends to said family members and friends. However, plenty of times they were only half mortified, as they were also half glad they could essentially let me say what they wanted to say but couldn't.

    When very young (small enough to be in the shopping cart seat) my mom had me grocery shopping with her. A man walks past and I ask kinda loud, "Is that my daddy?"

    When I was little, I was in the shopping cart as well, an a large lady walked by. I was struck by this, and decided all the world should know.

    "BOY are you FAT!"

    My mother was mortified and rather angry at me, but the lady was cool about it. "It's okay, I am fat."

    Undead Scottsman on
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I went to college on a very white campus in a very white state, but most people managed to be not so retarded as to be shocked by the presence of minorities. Until I was riding (slowly) across campus in this dude's open-top jeep, and his response to some black students chatting on the sidewalk was to say "oh look, black people!" in a really loud voice.

    I reached across and smacked him, but I did it more so that I wouldn't look like an asshole too than for any other reason.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
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  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    aha, lordy. i have many awkward moments like that.
    my friends have a habit of turning stupid in-jokes into sayings. we had a pretty great joke going once how since the easter bunny was white, and the bunnies you eat are chocolate, it was a hate crime.

    flash forward to last summer, me and a buddy are at disney world. we are in line for some lame car ride that lasts like 3 minutes. some kid is SCARFING down a quickly melting chocolate rabbit. i turn to my friend and say rather loudly 'hate crime!' and then notice the black family standing right behind him.

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