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Strange and Embarrassing Moments: Italy: Land of Homoerotic Escapades

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Posts

  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    so i work in a popular restaurant. my ex-girlfriend for some reason, despite knowing i work there and knowing how awkward things are still between us, often comes into this restaurant with her new boyfriend.
    cut to a few weeks ago, when the happy couple again graces me with their presence. and i'm stuck on cash.
    so, i take down her order, and she pays. i then make my mistake of walking away. i had thought, that since they were together they would pay together. i was so fucking wrong.
    i start making her food when i notice they are still at cash, making weird faces at me. after a few minutes of this i realize he didn't order anything and i walked away. clearly, they think i'm trying to be a dick by simply not serving him, which is not the case.
    but my intense embarassment coupled with my boss walking in prompted me to retreat to the kitchen while someone else took his order. now she's bombarding me with facebook messages about how immature i am, and how i can't handle their relationship, which just makes me go "wat?"
    so now things will be even more awkward then before, thanks to a total misunderstanding.

    Local H Jay on
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  • clsCorwinclsCorwin Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Renzo wrote: »
    SyphonBlue wrote: »
    In which Sal will gladly knock down whatever you set up:

    So I'm in this philosophy course, and we come to the new problem of induction. The prof, to kick off the discussion, asked the class if "anyone has encountered grue before."

    To which I replied, "This one time, in the basement of a white house. It was dark and the grue ate me."

    Cue a solid fifteen seconds of blank stares from everyone - everyone - in the room. People's heads turned towards me with exaggerated slowness.

    "...Game called Zork? From Infocom back in the early 80s? Anybody?"

    Still starin'.

    The professor then moves on as if absolutely nothing had happened while I mutter "Fuckin' philistines," under my breath.

    hahaha This reminds me of a story

    In Biology class, we were learning about the bacterial processes that can sometimes lead to yogurt. A friend of mine yells out, for no particular reason, "Yogurt? Yogurt?! I hate yogurt! Even with strawberries." A few seconds goes by, and then we hear this kind of timid little voice pipe up from towards the back of the class of this young woman saying, "I kinda like it with strawberries..."

    I had a social dance class in college. Waltz, Mambo, Tango, etc. 5/1 female/male ratio.

    The teacher was very good, and very outgoing (of course) and expectedly a little weird. We got along well. All the people in the class are cool too. The teacher's weirdness is kind of infectious.

    Several weeks in, we're all standing in a circle as the teacher closes out the class and he finishes by saying, "Any questions? No? Any answers?"

    Me: *raises hand*
    Teacher: "Yes?"
    Me: "42."
    Teacher: "Correct. See you all next week."

    Awesome.

    clsCorwin on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    <snip>

    Now, in China, this sort of thing is less taboo than it is in the states and there was a general understanding that westerners don't have the intestinal fortitude of people used to all the bugs in their food and water. So when word got around, it was mostly general concern about my well-being rather than mockery. And after about halfway through, I just gave up on being embarrassed and treated it with a sense of humor.

    This is the embarrassing story all other embarrassing stories hope to be. Bravo.

    *insert applause*

    That was amazing. You had me laughing out loud as I pictured the entire thing.

    The best part is, i can read it with the sound of his voice in my head :D

    /creepy

    Nappuccino on
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    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • NinyuNinyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    so i work in a popular restaurant. my ex-girlfriend for some reason, despite knowing i work there and knowing how awkward things are still between us, often comes into this restaurant with her new boyfriend.
    cut to a few weeks ago, when the happy couple again graces me with their presence. and i'm stuck on cash.
    so, i take down her order, and she pays. i then make my mistake of walking away. i had thought, that since they were together they would pay together. i was so fucking wrong.
    i start making her food when i notice they are still at cash, making weird faces at me. after a few minutes of this i realize he didn't order anything and i walked away. clearly, they think i'm trying to be a dick by simply not serving him, which is not the case.
    but my intense embarassment coupled with my boss walking in prompted me to retreat to the kitchen while someone else took his order. now she's bombarding me with facebook messages about how immature i am, and how i can't handle their relationship, which just makes me go "wat?"
    so now things will be even more awkward then before, thanks to a total misunderstanding.

    You know she goes to where you work on purpose, right?

    Ninyu on
    "It would be cool if you lived with a monster, you would never get hiccups." - Mitch Hedburg
  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    i realize that, but i had hoped she was more mature than that. sadly not.

    Local H Jay on
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  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I fell out of my bed this morning.

    Girl: Are you okay?
    Me: I think so...

    Then I fell bed out of bed maybe 8 minutes later.

    WHO DOES THAT?

    Organichu on
  • InHumanInHuman Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Organichu wrote: »
    I fell out of my bed this morning.

    Girl: Are you okay?
    Me: I think so...

    Then I fell bed out of bed maybe 8 minutes later.

    WHO DOES THAT?


    Girl is vauge.

    Please, tell us more.

    InHuman on
    Variable wrote: »

    you're coming off like a massive dick here
  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    She wasn't my relative and I'm not her gay friend.

    EXTRAPOLATE FROM THERE, PITIFUL HUMANS.

    morbo.gif

    Organichu on
  • NeylaNeyla Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    i realize that, but i had hoped she was more mature than that. sadly not.

    Gotta love drama queens.

    Be like if i always insisted on going with my BF into his father's business to which his ex works at.

    Neyla on
    13142111181576.png
  • The Last GentThe Last Gent Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Okay, so last semester at school, I was in a radio course. The best part of it was the news broadcasts we'd do every week. Three of us would go into a booth and run a professional-sounding news update that would get webcast.

    Now, I'll reveal my first name is Anthony, that's important here. My last name is one that you think ought to be pronounced one way, when really it's another, less-obvious way, and so everyone gets it wrong.

    One of the guys I'm in the booth with will be introducing me and the 3rd person, and he knows about my last name, so over a period of, like, 2 days before the broadcast he continuously asks me how to say it. Like every 2 hours.

    So the day comes, and we're in the booth, and he introduces me. And he gets the last name right. Thing is, however, he refers to me as Anthea when he does. During a live webcast.

    Thing is he didn't realize, and kept shooting me confused looks while I glared/made rude gestures during the whole broadcast. There were many apologies later though.

    The Last Gent on
  • Penguin_OtakuPenguin_Otaku Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I've never given someone the stink eye for getting my name wrong. Just not me dawg, just not me.

    Penguin_Otaku on
    sig-1.jpg
  • Professor PhobosProfessor Phobos Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Oh that's not too bad. Junior high graduation. My real first name is Nicholas. They called...Nicole.

    Professor Phobos on
  • The Last GentThe Last Gent Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Oh shit, I just remembered. That happened to my brother. 6 years my junior. Kinda looks like me, and was taught by the same grade 8 teacher as me. So when he graduates (6 years later no less), and she calls his name, she calls MY name instead.

    Apparently I get to graduate twice.

    The Last Gent on
  • aseriesofchasmsaseriesofchasms Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Oh that's not too bad. Junior high graduation. My real first name is Nicholas. They called...Nicole.

    If it makes you feel better, my high school graduating class had amongst its ranks a kid in a wheelchair, real sad story, he shouldn't have lived after the accident, all that kind of stuff.

    When the principal finished his little speech about the guy, he shouts "Now stand up here and get your diploma!"

    aseriesofchasms on
    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
  • Professor PhobosProfessor Phobos Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Oh that's not too bad. Junior high graduation. My real first name is Nicholas. They called...Nicole.

    If it makes you feel better, my high school graduating class had amongst its ranks a kid in a wheelchair, real sad story, he shouldn't have lived after the accident, all that kind of stuff.

    When the principal finished his little speech about the guy, he shouts "Now stand up here and get your diploma!"

    The expression on his face when it slowly dawned on him what he said must have been priceless.

    Professor Phobos on
  • clsCorwinclsCorwin Registered User
    edited September 2009
    My name is Lucas. When I was in MOS school, I got prompted to PFC. When they called me up to get pinned, the Sgt called me Lucious. This evolved into Luscious, a nickname that forever stuck during my time in, dammit. lol

    clsCorwin on
  • aseriesofchasmsaseriesofchasms Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Oh that's not too bad. Junior high graduation. My real first name is Nicholas. They called...Nicole.

    If it makes you feel better, my high school graduating class had amongst its ranks a kid in a wheelchair, real sad story, he shouldn't have lived after the accident, all that kind of stuff.

    When the principal finished his little speech about the guy, he shouts "Now stand up here and get your diploma!"

    The expression on his face when it slowly dawned on him what he said must have been priceless.

    Watching the video my mom had taken of the event, you can see our boy mouthing "I can't fucking stand, you idiot!"

    aseriesofchasms on
    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Satchitananda Pais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    InHuman wrote: »
    Dare you to shit infront of the Russians.

    In Soviet Russia, you come out of shit.

    Re: name stories - when I was a little kid my family went down to LA, and we did Disneyland and Universal Studios. So Universal used to have this ET ride which, anyone who rode it can attest, was totally awesome. Before you get on the ride, they had you get a "boarding pass" or some shit, and it had your name on it. The gimmick was that at the end of the ride, ET would thank everyone on the ride car by name for saving him.

    Long of the short of it, ET fucked up my name -- and gender -- and called me Michelle... To a 10 year old, that was some harsh shit right there.

    firewaterword on
    Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    Neyla wrote: »
    i realize that, but i had hoped she was more mature than that. sadly not.

    Gotta love drama queens.

    Be like if i always insisted on going with my BF into his father's business to which his ex works at.

    Although we haven't talked much lately due to school work, I've been my ex's main source of dating advice for a good year, although I'm still the immature one, given that about 40% of the time my first reply to her pleas for advice are some variant of "jump 'im and fuck 'im."

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    Another fun one.

    One day, while I was wasting time on the Internet in the study, I heard my ex-wife (may the ground open beneath her and consume her rancid flesh) shout "hey, come here for a minute" from the living room. I walked into the living room where she was watching the recording I had made from her return ceremony when she returned home from a deployment to Iraq. She backed up the recording a bit and said, "watch this". It was a scene from where I was standing in the middle of a group of people watching the soldiers get off of the plane and walk towards the hangar to greet their families. It was all very touching. Until I lowered my hand and positioned the camera so it was pointing toward the floor, apparently to give my arm a break. There you could see, very clearly, the raging boner I was sporting in my jeans. Apparently, I was really happy to see her. And I caught it on camera. D:

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    Another fun one.

    One day, while I was wasting time on the Internet in the study, I heard my ex-wife (may the ground open beneath her and consume her rancid flesh) shout "hey, come here for a minute" from the living room. I walked into the living room where she was watching the recording I had made from her return ceremony when she returned home from a deployment to Iraq. She backed up the recording a bit and said, "watch this". It was a scene from where I was standing in the middle of a group of people watching the soldiers get off of the plane and walk towards the hangar to greet their families. It was all very touching. Until I lowered my hand and positioned the camera so it was pointing toward the floor, apparently to give my arm a break. There you could see, very clearly, the raging boner I was sporting in my jeans. Apparently, I was really happy to see her. And I caught it on camera. D:

    This is priceless. As in, show-to-my-grandkids priceless. And hey, you'll get another strange/embarrassing story out of it.

    The Crowing One on
    3rddocbottom.jpg
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    Another fun one.

    One day, while I was wasting time on the Internet in the study, I heard my ex-wife (may the ground open beneath her and consume her rancid flesh) shout "hey, come here for a minute" from the living room. I walked into the living room where she was watching the recording I had made from her return ceremony when she returned home from a deployment to Iraq. She backed up the recording a bit and said, "watch this". It was a scene from where I was standing in the middle of a group of people watching the soldiers get off of the plane and walk towards the hangar to greet their families. It was all very touching. Until I lowered my hand and positioned the camera so it was pointing toward the floor, apparently to give my arm a break. There you could see, very clearly, the raging boner I was sporting in my jeans. Apparently, I was really happy to see her. And I caught it on camera. D:

    This is priceless. As in, show-to-my-grandkids priceless. And hey, you'll get another strange/embarrassing story out of it.

    Digitally recording your erections is the gift that keeps on giving.

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • aseriesofchasmsaseriesofchasms Registered User
    edited September 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    Another fun one.

    One day, while I was wasting time on the Internet in the study, I heard my ex-wife (may the ground open beneath her and consume her rancid flesh) shout "hey, come here for a minute" from the living room. I walked into the living room where she was watching the recording I had made from her return ceremony when she returned home from a deployment to Iraq. She backed up the recording a bit and said, "watch this". It was a scene from where I was standing in the middle of a group of people watching the soldiers get off of the plane and walk towards the hangar to greet their families. It was all very touching. Until I lowered my hand and positioned the camera so it was pointing toward the floor, apparently to give my arm a break. There you could see, very clearly, the raging boner I was sporting in my jeans. Apparently, I was really happy to see her. And I caught it on camera. D:

    This is priceless. As in, show-to-my-grandkids priceless. And hey, you'll get another strange/embarrassing story out of it.

    Digitally recording your erections is the gift that keeps on giving.

    Most awkward Christmas ever.

    aseriesofchasms on
    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
  • SmurphSmurph Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    underdonk wrote: »
    Another fun one.

    One day, while I was wasting time on the Internet in the study, I heard my ex-wife (may the ground open beneath her and consume her rancid flesh) shout "hey, come here for a minute" from the living room. I walked into the living room where she was watching the recording I had made from her return ceremony when she returned home from a deployment to Iraq. She backed up the recording a bit and said, "watch this". It was a scene from where I was standing in the middle of a group of people watching the soldiers get off of the plane and walk towards the hangar to greet their families. It was all very touching. Until I lowered my hand and positioned the camera so it was pointing toward the floor, apparently to give my arm a break. There you could see, very clearly, the raging boner I was sporting in my jeans. Apparently, I was really happy to see her. And I caught it on camera. D:

    This is priceless. As in, show-to-my-grandkids priceless. And hey, you'll get another strange/embarrassing story out of it.

    Digitally recording your erections is the gift that keeps on giving.

    Most awkward Christmas ever.

    20 years later: Grandpa show us the boner video again!

    Smurph on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Probably not as good as the plate o' poop story, but:

    A pretty attractive woman I know, on the rebound from a bad relationship, goes out on a couple of dates with a seemingly normal guy and things are going swimmingly. She decides to bring him to her place for some happy fun time. They start making out, everything's going great, clothes come off, passions keep rising -- when suddenly, without warning, he starts having sex with her shoe while all she can do is just sit there in horror.

    She decided to let him keep the shoe.

    cloudeagle on
    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Hopefully one day society will be tolerant enough to let their love be shared with the world in holy matrimony.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • aseriesofchasmsaseriesofchasms Registered User
    edited September 2009
    I'm sure cloudeagle isn't the "seemingly normal guy" in the story.

    aseriesofchasms on
    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Never implied he was.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Actually, reminds me of another fun story involving her. I dated her for a little while, but it didn't work out. She wasn't... the nicest person in the world to me. But as a consolation prize, I got her dog.

    She told me she couldn't keep Max because she was about to move to a new place that didn't allow pets. I loved the little guy, so I said sure. Later I find out the real reason she gave him up... the new guy she was dating was kind of controlling and made her give him up because he hated dogs.

    This is the same guy she dated for well over a year while wondering whether he was still married and living with his wife. Turned out he was. She doesn't really make good dating decisions.

    Anyway, here's Max.

    4667_91245590665_687120665_2353788_7411203_n.jpg

    cloudeagle on
    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Probably not as good as the plate o' poop story, but:

    A pretty attractive woman I know, on the rebound from a bad relationship, goes out on a couple of dates with a seemingly normal guy and things are going swimmingly. She decides to bring him to her place for some happy fun time. They start making out, everything's going great, clothes come off, passions keep rising -- when suddenly, without warning, he starts having sex with her shoe while all she can do is just sit there in horror.

    She decided to let him keep the shoe.

    I...what?

    Arch on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Arch wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Probably not as good as the plate o' poop story, but:

    A pretty attractive woman I know, on the rebound from a bad relationship, goes out on a couple of dates with a seemingly normal guy and things are going swimmingly. She decides to bring him to her place for some happy fun time. They start making out, everything's going great, clothes come off, passions keep rising -- when suddenly, without warning, he starts having sex with her shoe while all she can do is just sit there in horror.

    She decided to let him keep the shoe.

    I...what?

    Imagine the physical act of a man having sex with a woman. Now remove the woman and replace it with a shoe. Apparently for some men, a physical opening into... something is all you need.

    cloudeagle on
    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Arch wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Probably not as good as the plate o' poop story, but:

    A pretty attractive woman I know, on the rebound from a bad relationship, goes out on a couple of dates with a seemingly normal guy and things are going swimmingly. She decides to bring him to her place for some happy fun time. They start making out, everything's going great, clothes come off, passions keep rising -- when suddenly, without warning, he starts having sex with her shoe while all she can do is just sit there in horror.

    She decided to let him keep the shoe.

    I...what?

    I can only imagine the awkwardness of her silently getting dressed while he violates her new Guccis.

    chamberlain on
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Arch wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Probably not as good as the plate o' poop story, but:

    A pretty attractive woman I know, on the rebound from a bad relationship, goes out on a couple of dates with a seemingly normal guy and things are going swimmingly. She decides to bring him to her place for some happy fun time. They start making out, everything's going great, clothes come off, passions keep rising -- when suddenly, without warning, he starts having sex with her shoe while all she can do is just sit there in horror.

    She decided to let him keep the shoe.

    I...what?

    Imagine the physical act of a man having sex with a woman. Now remove the woman and replace it with a shoe. Apparently for some men, a physical opening into... something is all you need.

    I didn't want to imagine it

    Arch on
  • The Raging PlatypusThe Raging Platypus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    clsCorwin wrote: »
    My name is Lucas. When I was in MOS school, I got prompted to PFC. When they called me up to get pinned, the Sgt called me Lucious. This evolved into Luscious, a nickname that forever stuck during my time in, dammit. lol

    Ahem.

    The Raging Platypus on
    Quid wrote: »
    YOU'RE A GOD DAMN PLATYPUS.
    PSN Name: MusingPlatypus
  • aseriesofchasmsaseriesofchasms Registered User
    edited September 2009
    clsCorwin wrote: »
    My name is Lucas. When I was in MOS school, I got prompted to PFC. When they called me up to get pinned, the Sgt called me Lucious. This evolved into Luscious, a nickname that forever stuck during my time in, dammit. lol

    Ahem.

    What. The. Fuck.

    aseriesofchasms on
    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
  • CristoCristo Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Oh shit, I just remembered. That happened to my brother. 6 years my junior. Kinda looks like me, and was taught by the same grade 8 teacher as me. So when he graduates (6 years later no less), and she calls his name, she calls MY name instead.

    Apparently I get to graduate twice.

    At my High School graduation my friend, Dirk, was called up to make a speech as he was Head Boy of our year.

    "And may I introduce Dick, who's prepared a speech for us all today".

    Cristo on
    Unlucky wrote: »
    So, after having read all of his stuff, Pony's officially my hero now. I wish I could be that callous towards humanity.
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Man if she had mentioned that he was head boy somewhere in there that could've been even better

    Khavall on
  • CristoCristo Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Haha yeah, he was Dutch though so he took it extremely well.

    Edit:

    So apparently I used to look like a girl, back when I had long hair.
    (Clickable thumbnail is clickable)th_07889_IMGP0897_122_233lo.JPG

    One time I was at a rest stop on the German autobahn, and I needed to piss like a racehorse. So I made my way towards the mens toilet, when the cleaning lady in the mens rooms won't let me in. Apparently I look so much like a girl, she thinks I'm a girl and won't let me into the toilet. A short conversation in German ensues in which I use a few variations of the word penis.

    Man that pissed me off.

    And whenever my mum was meeting new people and I was tagging along or happened to be there, it happened on multiple occassions that they thought I was a girl.

    "Ohhhh is this your daughter..... oooops! Oh my God I'm so sorry! Errrrrr"

    I mean, come on. I wasn't THAT effeminate.

    Cristo on
    Unlucky wrote: »
    So, after having read all of his stuff, Pony's officially my hero now. I wish I could be that callous towards humanity.
  • ScrumScrum __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2009
    You, uh, kinda were.

    Scrum on
  • WicketW.WarrickWicketW.Warrick Registered User
    edited September 2009
    WHAT?!? That's a picture of you? As a dude? Uhh hate to burst your bubble but that's a picture of a lady.

    WicketW.Warrick on
    94970502bg8.png
This discussion has been closed.