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Strange and Embarrassing Moments: Italy: Land of Homoerotic Escapades

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Posts

  • DsmartDsmart Registered User
    edited June 2010
    What's funny is that if we had arrived at the therapy session through the regular course of dating / talking I would probably have been on board. Her lead up of pornographic flirting to ditching roommate to arranging herself sexily on the bed of my single dorm room, though? Quite a ways to go.

    I believe 100% that a lady can change her mind at any time. But I say again, come on.

    Maybe she is into rape fantasy. You blew it buddy.

    Does sound very strange though unless you really were misreading the signs or she was giving them to the guy behind you.

    Maybe she just wanted to hang out and talk. It isn't her job to fuck you because she is hot.

    Dsmart on
  • SpawnbrokerSpawnbroker Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    ...Lab, have you ever considered... "other options"? Ones that are less female?

    See, I thought of that. But I have determined that I am definitely only attracted to those who possess a pair of X chromosomes.

    This might be TMI, but I was only able to... "perform" the other day when I was, well, strangling her a bit.

    Is that weird? I'm not very experienced at this...

    You need a Help/Advice thread.

    You might want to do a bit of reading on BDSM. It's short for Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism. Just to see if that stuff turns you on. If you're finding that you have what you consider strange or deviant sexual habits, you should read up about it. This stuff is a lot more common than you might think.

    Spawnbroker on
    Steam: Spawnbroker
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    ...Lab, have you ever considered... "other options"? Ones that are less female?

    See, I thought of that. But I have determined that I am definitely only attracted to those who possess a pair of X chromosomes.

    This might be TMI, but I was only able to... "perform" the other day when I was, well, strangling her a bit.

    Is that weird? I'm not very experienced at this...

    Some people like rough sex

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • lab7lab7 Registered User
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    ...Lab, have you ever considered... "other options"? Ones that are less female?

    See, I thought of that. But I have determined that I am definitely only attracted to those who possess a pair of X chromosomes.

    This might be TMI, but I was only able to... "perform" the other day when I was, well, strangling her a bit.

    Is that weird? I'm not very experienced at this...

    You need a Help/Advice thread.

    You might want to do a bit of reading on BDSM. It's short for Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism. Just to see if that stuff turns you on. If you're finding that you have what you consider strange or deviant sexual habits, you should read up about it. This stuff is a lot more common than you might think.

    Oh, I know what BDSM is. It's just that even when things got rough, I still couldn't finish... and I think she might know, which is kind of eating me up inside. I think she believes she isn't good enough, or something.

    I think I'll take your advice on a Help/Advice thread.

    lab7 on
  • AydrAydr Registered User
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    lab7 wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    ...Lab, have you ever considered... "other options"? Ones that are less female?

    See, I thought of that. But I have determined that I am definitely only attracted to those who possess a pair of X chromosomes.

    This might be TMI, but I was only able to... "perform" the other day when I was, well, strangling her a bit.

    Is that weird? I'm not very experienced at this...

    You need a Help/Advice thread.

    You might want to do a bit of reading on BDSM. It's short for Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism. Just to see if that stuff turns you on. If you're finding that you have what you consider strange or deviant sexual habits, you should read up about it. This stuff is a lot more common than you might think.

    Oh, I know what BDSM is. It's just that even when things got rough, I still couldn't finish... and I think she might know, which is kind of eating me up inside. I think she believes she isn't good enough, or something.

    I think I'll take your advice on a Help/Advice thread.

    Yeah... This is a thread for laughing at people. And I don't really wanna laugh at you for this.

    Aydr on
    DeMoN wrote: »
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  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    You need a Help/Advice thread.

    You might want to do a bit of reading on BDSM. It's short for Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism. Just to see if that stuff turns you on. If you're finding that you have what you consider strange or deviant sexual habits, you should read up about it. This stuff is a lot more common than you might think.

    Actually, it's three pairs: BD=bondage, DS = dominance/submission, and SM = sadism/masochism. It's my favorite acronym. The ol' recursive nerd acronym (like GNU) was cute at first, but is way overdone.

    admanb on
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    ... God in heaven with his Yes / No lever, set to yes ... 'Wait for it ... wait for it" he says ...

    MetroidZoid on
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  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    ... God in heaven with his Yes / No lever, set to yes ... 'Wait for it ... wait for it" he says ...

    This pretty much describes the only form in which I could accept the Christian God.

    admanb on
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I was in the bathroom this evening getting ready to pee and I was getting really frustrated. I can't find the dang hole in my boxers no matter how much I rummage around down there so I let out a 'BAH!' and explain the situation to my wife.

    She pauses a second..."Are they on backwards?"

    Sure enough, what I mistook for a forward facing label ('cause they're damn proud to be fruit of the loom) was actually the tag with the waistband rolled down.

    It made pooing much easier, though.

    DaMoonRulz on
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  • ArrathArrath Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Even when I wear long underwear for work I am too afraid to use the...hole..thing (damn its late) to poop. Even if it means I have to pull my arms out of 2 overshirts then the long underwear and pull them all the way down to me knees.

    Arrath on
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  • JohannenJohannen Registered User
    edited June 2010
    I need that guy to come back and tell the story of when he found his friend trying to screw his dog from about two years ago.

    Johannen on
  • EuphoriacEuphoriac Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Johannen wrote: »
    I need that guy to come back and tell the story of when he found his friend trying to screw his dog from about two years ago.

    Same problem as lab eh? Maybe I could tell you how my best friend and another friend tried to anally rape my cat with a hairbrush 'for a laugh'? In front of me and my brother?

    They may have not been serious, but I wonder how far they would have gone if I hadn't stopped them...

    So, did that cure the problem? :lol:

    Euphoriac on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Someone has/had it in their sig... something about playing Red Alert and the friend leaving to go do something... and ending up being "that" guy.

    Falx on
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    I am currently filled with guilt, shame and embarrassment. I just realized that half the time, I have to fake orgasms during sex.

    ...

    I'm a nineteen year old guy.

    And it's not like she isn't attractive or anything! This is really fucking weird!

    Do you take any SSRIs for like depression or something? If so, a common side effect of them is anorgasmia.

    Premier kakos on
  • kabukabu Registered User
    edited June 2010
    I just witnessed my mother call my sister's visiting boyfriend by her ex's name thrice in a row. Everybody involved had that sort of "oh God why can't I just sink into the floor and die" facial expression.

    kabu on
  • BolthornBolthorn Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    kabu wrote: »
    I just witnessed my mother call my sister's visiting boyfriend by her ex's name thrice in a row. Everybody involved had that sort of "oh God why can't I just sink into the floor and die" facial expression.

    Eh, my mother did that with every person I ever dated. More than once per person, and she'd apologize for it all the time. I think it was my mother's way of saying "nope, not this one either" since she has never done it to my now wife.

    Bolthorn on
  • JohannenJohannen Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Euphoriac wrote: »
    Johannen wrote: »
    I need that guy to come back and tell the story of when he found his friend trying to screw his dog from about two years ago.

    Same problem as lab eh? Maybe I could tell you how my best friend and another friend tried to anally rape my cat with a hairbrush 'for a laugh'? In front of me and my brother?

    They may have not been serious, but I wonder how far they would have gone if I hadn't stopped them...

    So, did that cure the problem? :lol:

    Keep going I'm so close.

    Johannen on
  • local flavor policelocal flavor police Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Euphoriac wrote: »
    Johannen wrote: »
    I need that guy to come back and tell the story of when he found his friend trying to screw his dog from about two years ago.

    Same problem as lab eh? Maybe I could tell you how my best friend and another friend tried to anally rape my cat with a hairbrush 'for a laugh'? In front of me and my brother?

    They may have not been serious, but I wonder how far they would have gone if I hadn't stopped them...

    So, did that cure the problem? :lol:

    My guess? when somwhere in the neighborhood of 57 little bacteria-covered daggers intered someones arm. repeatedly.

    local flavor police on
    Steam: LocalFlavorPolice
  • sp1ttlesp1ttle Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    So the other day I was sitting on the toilet when mid dump I look up and see a spider dropping down on a web. It slowly lowers itself past my face before dropping down on my junk. I'm starring at it as it starts cleaning itself on my privates, then it scrabbles up and runs down my leg. I didn't freak out because my bedroom happens to be a spider magnet; there's always a spider or two hanging around, and every now and then I find a spider chilling on my bed.

    sp1ttle on
  • XtarathXtarath Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    sp1ttle wrote: »
    So the other day I was sitting on the toilet when mid dump I look up and see a spider dropping down on a web. It slowly lowers itself past my face before dropping down on my junk. I'm starring at it as it starts cleaning itself on my privates, then it scrabbles up and runs down my leg. I didn't freak out because my bedroom happens to be a spider magnet; there's always a spider or two hanging around, and every now and then I find a spider chilling on my bed.

    NSFW(Oglaf, if you know it)
    The first thing I thought of was this.

    Xtarath on
  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I had a rather nasty experience, besides the roach watching me on the wall in the bathroom I also popped somethin on my inner leg.

    Old blood spurts all over the front of the toilet seat, and it's pourin out my leg, stil pushing on it trying to get everything out, pop! blood spurts all over my chin.

    SkutSkut on
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Bolthorn wrote: »
    kabu wrote: »
    I just witnessed my mother call my sister's visiting boyfriend by her ex's name thrice in a row. Everybody involved had that sort of "oh God why can't I just sink into the floor and die" facial expression.

    Eh, my mother did that with every person I ever dated. More than once per person, and she'd apologize for it all the time. I think it was my mother's way of saying "nope, not this one either" since she has never done it to my now wife.

    I got this from my fiance's grandma, but it was constantly calling me by my fiance's aunt's ex. Who everybody hated. And then I made the mistake of asking "Is it because I look like him?", and my fiance just says "No, you don't wanna kn-

    Grandma: "You just act like him!"

    And then when you hear all the stories about how much of a douche this guy is, it paints the long road I would travel down to trying to get this grandma to accept me.

    Still walking.

    MetroidZoid on
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  • kabukabu Registered User
    edited June 2010
    The past couple hours, I've been seeing things move out of the corner of my eye that vanish when I turn to look. I've been seriously freaking out (am I hallucinating? Did somebody spike my orange juice? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?). Turns out, this place is fucking infested with mice. Now I'm afraid to get off the couch and put my feet on the floor...

    kabu on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    sp1ttle wrote: »
    So the other day I was sitting on the toilet when mid dump I look up and see a spider dropping down on a web. It slowly lowers itself past my face before dropping down on my junk. I'm starring at it as it starts cleaning itself on my privates, then it scrabbles up and runs down my leg. I didn't freak out because my bedroom happens to be a spider magnet; there's always a spider or two hanging around, and every now and then I find a spider chilling on my bed.

    Wow.

    My friend is terrified of spiders.

    If that happened to him, he would have gotten up and ran, screaming.

    Regardless of whether he was done dropping logs or not.

    Once when he was a teenager, some kids took a dead spider and dropped it down the back of his pants. He stripped naked and ran screaming to his room. When they coaxed him back out, they did it again with a leaf. Same result, except he now refused to come out of his room OR put clothes on until they swore on their mother's graves that they wouldn't do it again.

    Falx on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    kabu wrote: »
    The past couple hours, I've been seeing things move out of the corner of my eye that vanish when I turn to look. I've been seriously freaking out (am I hallucinating? Did somebody spike my orange juice? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?). Turns out, this place is fucking infested with mice. Now I'm afraid to get off the couch and put my feet on the floor...

    Man I'm not afraid of the little critters, but when you only realize he's there because he decided to climb on top of my foot to chill out... well there are only so many ways you can react.

    Falx on
  • WormeyWormey Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Sp1ttle:
    So the other day I was sitting on the toilet when mid dump I look up and see a spider dropping down on a web. It slowly lowers itself past my face before dropping down on my junk. I'm starring at it as it starts cleaning itself on my privates, then it scrabbles up and runs down my leg. I didn't freak out because my bedroom happens to be a spider magnet; there's always a spider or two hanging around, and every now and then I find a spider chilling on my bed.

    This is not the Terrifying Tales thread! I came here expecting strange and embarrasing moments and now I am freaking out. Damn you :)

    I had a fairly strange and embarrasing moment last night. A work friend dropped me off at the bus station after a party, but I had just missed the bus and another one would not arrive for an hour. There are some fairly amiable seeming drunks (four girls and a guy), but I do not know them so I sit on a bench on my own.

    "Is it okay if I pee next to you?"
    [o_O

    Drunk Girl (her name is Ginnie as it turned out) had approached me to ask this. Her friend grabbed her arm and pulled her further along.
    "I didn't mean pee there you idiot!"

    Fair enough. Misunderstanding. They return post peeing.

    Ginnie: "Hi Martin"
    Me: "thats not my name"
    Ginnie: "we've met before haven't we"
    Me: "I don't think so"
    Ginnie: "Is your name Martin?"
    Me: "No"
    Ginnie: "I didn't think so. But you look like a Martin. Hey everyone come and take a photo with me and Martin!"

    During the course of the next hour I had several photos taken. One of the other drunk girls informed me that they can squirt.
    Drunk Girl #2: "thats really rare and not many women can do that"
    Me: "Congratulations. Good for you"
    Drunk Girl #2: "Hi 5?"
    We Hi-5 over this ability and wax lyrical over the values of the rampant rabbit, and how it makes men useless.

    Their male friend asks me if I am gay and shows me a photo of his cock. I say no, sorry. Ginnie asks me if I can kiss her, but I politely decline as I am waiting to return home to my fiancee.
    Ginnie: "Can't you be unengaged just for a second?"
    Me: "Sorry no, I don't think I could cope with that sort of guilt. I can give you a friendly pat on the shoulder but that is about it" (I should have said 'because I love my partner' I know, but i'm not very good at this sort of thing)
    *I give her a friendly pat on the shoulder and as I do so my phone rings - my fiancee, saving me.
    Me: "See? She knows all"
    Ginnie: What? Why? Oh no.

    I take the call and when I return they have vanished into the ether.

    As someone who never drinks, I have never had a conversation with drunks I don't actually know. It was a very surreal experience. I am told this is pretty normal for those who do drink though. I found it strange anyway. Hope it was interesting enough.

    Also: First post! Woo!

    Wormey on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Drunken conversations are actually really grating for me

    I appreciate the friendliness and when the conversation ends in good time

    but for the most part drunk people are unbearable

    The Black Hunter on
  • LacroixLacroix Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I'm just happy when it isn't guys in baseball caps offering "what are you looking at mate?" levels of danger-speak that make me think i'm going to be mugged. In a bizarre sort of way, it made me feel safer that I was surrounded by these people, rather than being on my own and far from home late at night.

    Lacroix on
  • JohannenJohannen Registered User
    edited June 2010
    If you're sober drunk people suck, if you're drunk other drunk people suck just a little bit less than when you're sober.

    Johannen on
  • LacroixLacroix Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I think that this comes under Strange and Terrifying (for me) as well as embarrassing, but near my home town we recently had a guy kill lots of people for no reason (v. tragic). I no longer live there but my family do. My Dad is pretty mobile phone illiterate, so types everything in CAPS so I always think it's really serious anyway. I am at work and do not know what is going on when I receive this text:

    "SOME PEOPLE KILLED BY A GUNMAN IN WHITEHAVEN. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW I AM OK"

    - That freaked me out. My brain had me panicking that hehad been pretty nearby. No he was at work too and heard it on the radio. The reassuring text message freaked me out more than anything else. Cue relief/embarrasment from me when I finally managed to get through. Before general sadness about others involved in those tragic circumstances.

    Huh. That was kind of a bummer S/E. But I think 'parents inability to turn off caps lock convinces me they are near death' qualifies as embarrassing.

    Lacroix on
  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    hah so this happened a while back but hanging out with these friends again last night brought it to the front of my mind

    i went to high school with mostly black dudes (i was the only white person in my graduating class). most of my friends in this city are black, and some months ago we were all hanging out. we were in university city, not too far from upenn. i remember the eagles were playing the redskins (i think!), and some of these girls were wearing skins jerseys. so we're on this block and i guess it's sorority houses, because there are cute, drunk, jersey-wearing girls everywhere. and it's four of my black friends and i.

    so one of the groups sort of seizes onto us. they're standing near their escalade.

    "can you help us paaaaaark?"

    and we're laughing at how ridiculously stereotypical this is, and they go

    "come on! we're drunk. we shouldn't be driving."

    and they're putting their hands on us and all, begging us to park their truck because they all suck at parallel parking and they don't want to hit anything. the spot is so huge! it still makes me laugh, thinking about it.

    anyway.

    a crystal clear moment of hilarity dawns on me and i look at my friend, paul, who is in heaven at having several hot sorority chicks fawning over him.

    "paul... you know what i could do?"

    and he looks at me. he knows my sense of humor, and he knows what i'm going to say next. his eyes are pleading.

    "i could walk away. i could keep going, and you KNOW these girls wouldn't talk to you big ass black guys without me here. i could fuck this up for you."

    and he just glares at me, knowing it's true

    "please, john?"

    and i started laughing and played along

    but it was really funny because we'd assessed the situation in the exact same way: these girls seriously would not have been cool talking to just a few 'scary looking' big black dudes if i wasn't there to mollify it a little.

    anyway

    yes

    that was strange and funny

    Organichu on
  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    That is awesome.

    admanb on
  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Xtarath wrote: »
    sp1ttle wrote: »
    So the other day I was sitting on the toilet when mid dump I look up and see a spider dropping down on a web. It slowly lowers itself past my face before dropping down on my junk. I'm starring at it as it starts cleaning itself on my privates, then it scrabbles up and runs down my leg. I didn't freak out because my bedroom happens to be a spider magnet; there's always a spider or two hanging around, and every now and then I find a spider chilling on my bed.

    NSFW(Oglaf, if you know it)
    The first thing I thought of was this.

    I've seen that comic and ugh... I would become a eunuch after that.

    SkyCaptain on
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  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    SkyCaptain wrote: »
    Xtarath wrote: »
    sp1ttle wrote: »
    So the other day I was sitting on the toilet when mid dump I look up and see a spider dropping down on a web. It slowly lowers itself past my face before dropping down on my junk. I'm starring at it as it starts cleaning itself on my privates, then it scrabbles up and runs down my leg. I didn't freak out because my bedroom happens to be a spider magnet; there's always a spider or two hanging around, and every now and then I find a spider chilling on my bed.

    NSFW(Oglaf, if you know it)
    The first thing I thought of was this.

    I've seen that comic and ugh... I would become a eunuch after that.

    I would mark this as awesome but then would be banned.

    I hate you for putting this in my memory.

    RoyceSraphim on
  • lab7lab7 Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Okay. Deep breath:

    I once masturbated in the same room as my dad while blasted out of my mind on oxycodone following major surgery.

    lab7 on
  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Satchitananda Pais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    Okay. Deep breath:

    I once masturbated in the same room as my dad while blasted out of my mind on oxycodone following major surgery.

    That is a hell of a lot of strange and embarrassing to fit into one sentence my friend.

    firewaterword on
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  • LokieLokie Registered User
    edited June 2010
    ^ lol, cosign.

    I used to work as a busboy at Tony Roma's in Waikiki. I started on the day shift which was relatively chill (though it had it's moments), and eventually started taking night shifts, which is where the real money was. About $100 in tips a night, which wasn't anything spectacular, but certainly wasn't horrible for 4 or hours of work.

    Anyway, it's my first night shift ever, and it's super busy. Part of my job was to drop bread and butter at tables to satiate the masses before their actual meal came out, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So I'm walking around w/ a tray of about 4 things of bread on them, dropping them off wherever I can.

    I approach one table, a family of 4. Mother, father, son and daughter. The daughter was a cute blonde, right about my age I would've guessed, and she was leaning over on the table talking to her mother. Soooo, I start doing my thing, and as I take the bread basket off of the tray a ramakin of butter accidentally drops. Well the cute blonde was still leaning forward talking to her mother, there was a gap between the small of her back and her jeans. Yeah. So naturally, this ramakin manages to literally wedge itself in her ass crack.

    Before I even know what I'm doing I've already reached down and pulled it out. There are no words to describe the profound silence, stares and awkwardness that were the next few seconds.

    Cue exit, stage left. Good times.

    Lokie on
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life, only to arrive safely at death.
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Well it's not like you could just leave it there, right?

    bowen on
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  • AvicusAvicus Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    lab7 wrote: »
    Okay. Deep breath:

    I once masturbated in the same room as my dad while blasted out of my mind on oxycodone following major surgery.

    How is that even possible? Opiate dick is a serious issue plagueing the drug addicts of today.

    Avicus on
    stephen_coop.gifkim_coop.gifscott_guitar.gif
  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter In love with the TaySwayRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lokie wrote: »
    ^ lol, cosign.

    I used to work as a busboy at Tony Roma's in Waikiki. I started on the day shift which was relatively chill (though it had it's moments), and eventually started taking night shifts, which is where the real money was. About $100 in tips a night, which wasn't anything spectacular, but certainly wasn't horrible for 4 or hours of work.

    Anyway, it's my first night shift ever, and it's super busy. Part of my job was to drop bread and butter at tables to satiate the masses before their actual meal came out, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So I'm walking around w/ a tray of about 4 things of bread on them, dropping them off wherever I can.

    I approach one table, a family of 4. Mother, father, son and daughter. The daughter was a cute blonde, right about my age I would've guessed, and she was leaning over on the table talking to her mother. Soooo, I start doing my thing, and as I take the bread basket off of the tray a ramakin of butter accidentally drops. Well the cute blonde was still leaning forward talking to her mother, there was a gap between the small of her back and her jeans. Yeah. So naturally, this ramakin manages to literally wedge itself in her ass crack.

    Before I even know what I'm doing I've already reached down and pulled it out. There are no words to describe the profound silence, stares and awkwardness that were the next few seconds.

    Cue exit, stage left. Good times.

    I would pay money to have been watching that from a nearby table.

    DemonStacey on
    desc wrote: »
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This discussion has been closed.